Is it unreasonable?

[mikesmom]

We're heading home to BWV from May 25 - 30 and the whole family is coming. Husband's 20-something son and daughter, their spouses and the 3 year old grandson. Also my DS of 19 and probably a buddy of his. Since the GVs are being refurbished then we're getting a 2 bdrm and 2 studios. And I'm exhausted thinking about it!

Don't get me wrong, I think we'll have a blast! Having everyone together will be great fun, BUT, I don't think it will be particularly restful. It will only be 5 days, which is less than the usual 7 we take for a vacation and it's the first trip for hubby's son, daughter, spouses and grandchild, so I see commando mode coming on. Last year we (me, DH and DS and his buddy) went for 7 days and took the first 2 days at Vero which really helped to unwind us from work before going to WDW. Plus my DS has been before and goes off with his buddy some of the time. So it's the perfect combo of fun plus down time.

I want to go down a couple of days early for "vacation" before the family descends or stay a couple of days to recover. OR I want to schedule another vacation just fr him and me that will be a real vacation. DH thinks I'm being unreasonable to need a vacation from a vacation, doesn't see that 2 days less is that big a deal, and doesn't want the extra expense as obviously this trip will cost a chunk. We're not only supplying the DVC rooms, but also paying for the flights via frequent flyer miles. (And apparently paying cash when we run out of those, which was not what I expected).

I think vacations are absolutely necessary for mental health and help you be more efficient and creative when you get back to work, but DH is focusing on how much time he's missing from his desk. He's also offended that I think I need a rest after having his kids around. He doesn't understand that it's not his kids, it's just that it's so many extra people and we'll have to be "on" all the time.

Am I being a shrew? I'm almost to the point I want to tell them to go and I'll stay home where there's peace and quiet.

 

[PKK/MJK]

Mikesmom

I hear you!!!! You are definitely right in your thinking about this!! We vacation at WDW every summer with our entire brood--it's usually a group of 8. I LOVE every minute of it--but it is definitely more tiring than when DH and I go to WDW alone. Getting the entire group to decide on things can be exhausting--even though we do a lot on our own, we do try to do some things together. You're also correct when you say that you will have to be "on" all the time. The fact that you aren't all in one GV though will probably help--everyone will get a bit of privacy. Good Luck!! Have Fun!! But I definitely agree that you will need some "down time" to recover from your vacation--and that is not an insult to your DH's children at all!!

 

[dianeschlicht]

I definately agree with you!!! Last year we had guests the last half of our trip who wanted to do commando style! I needed a vacation from vacation that trip, so now we spend at least 1-2 days alone after our guests leave.

 

[Regina]

At some point, during just about every trip, I have to go off on my own for an afternoon. I love my family, but, after doing all of the planning and going commando style, I need a break.

Why not take a spa break? A morning or afternoon of pampering may be just what you need.

Either that, or volunteer to go back to the resort to give the grandson his nap.

 

[Granny]

With only five days, I'm afraid that your concerns about being commando styled to death may be well founded.

I think Regina's suggestion of a spa break sounds like a great idea.

At a minimum, I'd suggest setting some ground rules with your DH and then his family regarding whether you would spend all your time together, or just joining up for PS's at restaurants, etc.

You might want to get some radios so you can separate and get some of your own, relaxed touring accomplished.

Good luck.

 

[loribell]

Your husband may actually realize how right you are after you are down there for a couple of days. There is nothing wrong with wanting some down time. By the way, does your husband happen to work with mine? Mine has 6 weeks of vacation built up and gets 4 more every year and I have a hard time getting him to take off work for 2 weeks. Now if he was going hunting without the family that would be a different story!

Good luck!

Lori

P.S. Did you make it to the DIS meet at Eskimo Joe's? If so how was it?

 

[Gearjammin101]

Hi Mikesmom,
I can certainly understand your dilemma. And as a very street wise person (my father) once said, "2 queen bees can not exist in the same hive." There is alot of truth in this little saying and it has come to me many many times when I have found myself "trapped" in a hotel room or home on a family vacation with my mother and/or my two sisters. And what sticks out in my head the most is the time I spent with my dad and his girlfriend for about two weeks before I got married. I felt like I should be the center of daddy's eye (immature thinking) and she felt that it was her house (rightly so!).

I'm w/ Granny. Expect to split up and spend some alone time with DH and meet back for dinner some of the time. That should help alleviate alot of (what could have the potential to be) tension. Daughter may also want to do the same thing w/ her hubby and son but just feel a little apprehensive about saying anything as to not hurt your feelings or her dad's. She may think that it would offend someone if she said she wanted to split up.

Also, Regina's idea of the spa is marvelous as well.
I think it is a wonderful thing that you and your DH are doing for your family. And there are ways to work around a tough situation as we have all suggested. Personally, I would like an extra day or two w/ my DH but if you can't, perhaps some of these ideas will work and remember, You're going to see the Mouse. That makes it all worth it. Have a great trip and let us know how it turns out. I'm betting it will be o.k.
April

 

[CaptainMidnight]

It's not unreasonable at all to want some family time for yourself and immediate family. Nor, should you feel you need to accompany the commandos on every excursion, take some breaks to do your own things.

Being a shrew? I don't know about that, but if this is the sole reason someone would think you a shew, I'd have to dissagree.

We like to couple visitor or extended family accompany us vacations with some personal time to ourselves and our 3 boys. Vacations can be difficult to manage with a large group, especially with all the constant decisions that need to be made to tackle WDW. You might want tl let them go commando by themselves the second day to get some of it out of thier system.....

Best wishes for a nice trip.

 

[BounceyOne]

I don't know if you work or just DH, but if you can't convince him to stay at disney for 2 more days, atleast make sure you have some quiet time at home before jumping back into real life. Maybe a manucure and pedicure will help?

 

[mikesmom]

Yes, we both work. DH teaches and consults. I consult marketing and PR so there's always a deadline looming. To get away on vacations I plan like mad to make sure all deadlines fall well before or after the trip. I even refuse jobs if they will fall during that time - I think the family vacation is practically sacred. I have office staff that is very competent, but PR clients expect you personally are handling their projects and I want to make sure I don't have to spend half the vacation on a cell phone.

That's why down time is so important. Plus, I'll be doing all the plane reservations (from 3 different cities), arranging the rental car(s) and pickup times and taking care of the two planned family dinner ressies. Hey no wonder I'm tired already!

Thanks to everybody for the ideas. I may try the days off when we get back, the longer we discuss it to death, the less likely it it I can get 2 more days anywhere.