inability to wait?

[grumpy&princess]

I have a 10yr old son who is bipolar and autistic who doesnt have the ability to wait for anything. we have been working with him for a few years to improve this slightly. Waiting longer than 10-15 minutes will cause a SEVERE and physical meltdown. One or two of these wont be bad but anymore than that will cause us to have to return to the resort for the rest of the day since he will not be able to calm down. If he has more than two days of this we might as well go home as he will not be able to go on. The more I read and the more I look into this the more I worry that my son wont be able to do this. I am concerned that I wont be able to confer my sons needs to a CM to get a GAC that will work for him. I have heard so many times from ppl he dont look that there is anything wrong with him or that I need to teach him better and be sterner. I have tried so many things to help my son to understand that you have to wait for many things in your life and that you cant just get what you want when you want it. We have tried so many different therapies to help him but nothing has worked. Sorry to ramble on and on I am just so worried that now is not the right time to go if he will be having to wait long periods of time to ride a ride. I dont wait to have to wait more years for him to be able to enjoy disney. I am just lost as to what to do for him. Anyone else have this problem with their kids? Anyone with any suggestions? We have done smaller parks like Hershey Park and Idlewild Park in PA and our local amusement park. We have tried all of these both with and without a disability pass. Needless to say I will never do any of these parks again without a pass as to it was horrible to see a 9yr old on the ground throwing himself all over the place and when I restrain him, him hitting and biting and scatching me. He is to big for me to control in a restraint hold he is just to strong. He will unattentionally hurt me, himself or anyone else around when he melts down. Will we actually be able to enjoy Disney or not? Thanks for your help.

Lisa

 

[Schmeck]

Fastpass as many attractions as you can. WDW has a Guest Assistance Card, which is not a front-of the-line pass, and may not shorten your wait at all. There have been posts about actually having to wait longer in the accessible line than in the standby line.

Another concern you might need a plan for is what do you do if the attraction stops, and you have to sit in your ride vehicle for more than 10 minutes? If he resists waiting in a line, can he handle waiting safely in a ride vehicle?

Also, if you can not restrain him, and he becomes violent, can you guarantee he will not hurt anyone else? This is a serious liability, as you will be responsible for any injury or damage he incurs.

 

[twinspluscade]

Is there anyway you could re-schedule your trip to a less busier time? I see from your siggy that you're going in the summer, right?

I've gotta say--I avoid going during the summer months like the plague because I'm not a crowd person. Summer time at WDW means not only waiting in lines for rides, but also to eat lunch (even the counter service places can take forever), bathroom, using Disney transportation (we've waited a good 20 minutes for a bus during the off season--can't imagine during the busy times), heck even getting into/out of the park you sometimes have to wait in line.

If it were me in your shoes, I would try to re-schedule the trip for a slower time of year (maybe September? Or even Jan?). And....I would try to eat during "off" times, and skip any rides that have over a 10 minute wait time posted (from what I understand, the GAC won't give you front of the line access.). Also--if you are using Disney transportation--leave before the fireworks. What a zoo it is when people start leaving after those!

 

[KPeveler]

I have had to wait for 20-30 mins on a ride in a ride vehicle seated calmly when i ride broke down, or when a person in a wheelchair needs to be loaded...

would your son sitting in a wheelchair/double stroller work better for him? that way he can have toys and games, and a place that is "his own..." you can get a GAC that would allow you to bring the stroller in line... because he will also have to handle people touching him - it is just the nature of a crowded place like disney... that wheelchair or stroller may give him more personal space... you can also attach a fan to a wheelchair or stroller to keep him cool, etc...

a GAC will not shorten your wait times, but there may be other things that help you handle the waits....

 

[grumpy&princess]

we are unable to go on vacation any time other than this. this is the two weeks my mom has off of work each year and I need the extra set of hands to handle both of my kids. I wasnt looking for the GAC front of the line passes as I know this is not available and I know why. He would really hurt anyone else intentionally and I am able to confine him and keep him protected as long as others dont try to do anything to him. once he is one a ride (we have been on rides before that broke down or for one reason or another) his inability to wait isnt so bad. I am more capable of redirecting him. I am not sure if you would be willing to sit in a stroller dont know if they make one big enough to handle 80#'s and I dont know about pushing him in a wheelchair all day either. I may have to rethink this trip for another year even though I had my heart set on going this year. Thanks for the help.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I may have to rethink this trip for another year even though I had my heart set on going this year. Thanks for the help.

Unfortunately wait times are one of the few things that Disney can't really help you with. You can do a certain amount with Fast Passes and vigilant use of the wait times board at the hub but sooner or later you will find yourself stuck in a 30 minute line.

As much as I hate to ever suggest that someone not go, you might do better to wait a year until he has gotten better control. (Which really will happen! Don't depair.)

 

[dclfun]

MY heart goes out to the OP and to others who are dealing with family members with this kind of disability. I would suggest calling WDW directly and asking to speak with someone in Guest Services at one of the parks. Detail out your concerns and see what can be done to help you once you arrive at WDW. I think knowing ahead and planning are part of the game and you never know what they can do until you ask. I know VIP tour guides are out there at an extreme cost but if it's in your budget that might be a choice or just asking about how to make touring plans work for your family. Even getting a fastpass then going to a show or pacing your day around using EMH if possible ( if you're staying onsite which I highly recommend ) and using a GAC might work. Having a social story book ahead of time with part of the story being what you'll do in line, and bringing along distractors, using a manual w/c as a buffer and a place to store things that comfort him would all be ways to help your family enjoy your day. Being that you're going in summer, I'd plan on returning to the resort anyway for downtime, to have some water time if he enjoys that, or even sitting down to eat away from the crowds. If you're at MK, going on the boat over to Ft. Wilderness is a very calming place to be and has fairly quick access- he can see the horses there, walk around the lush grounds, etc. When my four kids, who are nondisabled, were younger we often went to Ft. Wilderness for lunch at the buffet just to get away from the crowds for awhile. Be sure to pack snacks and drinks since there will be lines and wait times for QS meals and if he needs food quickly you don't want to be without. Enlist the help of a CM at the QS food locations to help you find a place to sit, explain the help you might need there, etc. I hope you get to go for the sake of your family having a vacation together. There's no way to know what will happen next year, if he will be more mature, or if something else might happen in your life that could be a challenge etc. but since "this year" is possible, I'd do what I could to make it work.---Kathy

 

[mechurchlady]

I think it is best to wait a year and hopefully he will improve. I have been on this board for a while and have found brilliant people who have helped me with some little things that I never dreamed were possible. Work with the people here on some ways to work on his wait time. There is a lot of people here with kids that have every type of autism and some of their trick are working on me.

I probably have ADD and possible birth related problems. Through the tips from moms with kids with disabilities I am finally making changes in my life and getting things done. I say give them time to help you maybe find a better way. And if all else fails you will encouragement and lots of hugs.

The only hope is early morning when crowds are slowest, fast passes which still can be a 15 minute wait, and talking to CMs. I doubt it would work but you might explain the problem and then stand in line then when you are at the head of the line dad and kid join. It would be a long shot and I doubt it.

Maybe try to convince him that you are not waiting.My 82 year old mother has to have things NOW, not yelling at her to wait, and no long waits in restaurants for example. Keeping her occupied with chatter helps in restaurants and sticking to restaurants that have fast service. I find it hard living with an impatient person like her.

Over and over you will hear people telling how even with a GAC or a Fastpass the wait can be 15 minutes or longer on fastpass and up to an hour with a GAC during holidays. GAC is only to give the disabled guest an equal chance to enjoy an attraction and to help CMs know that a guest has a hidden disability or a special need.

 

[Earstou]

You also might consider using something like Tour Guide Mike. There is a cost to join, $21.95, but there is a link somewhere here on the boards for a small discount. TGM gives you info on which park to go to on which day to avoid the more crowded parks. Also gives tips about rides and more. The site can be hard to navigate at first, but spend lots of time reviewing it and it'll do wonders for your trip.
We went last summer, end of July, and used TGM. I was really pleased with how well it worked, and would use it again.

 

[grumpy&princess]

thank you all for the help. i did get TGM and that is how I planned what day we will be going to what parks. I think we are going to try it this year and try to come up with creative ways to keep him entertained. I would hate to have spent all this time planning and getting excited for nothing and not knowing if he will be any better next year as we have been working on this for a long time now. It hard to work on something when a child just doesnt get the concept of waiting and why you have to and need to wait at times. We will figure out something and just ride what we can ride and not worry about the rest. Thank you.

 

[gillenkl]

Some of my initial thoughts are the time of year you're going will be difficult with the heat and the crowds.

This year I purchased camelbaks - they are hydration backpacks - something you may be interested in. I can't carry water bottles around in my backpack all day and fumble around when everyone needs a drink.

My son loves maps and let him pick the first ride we go on and we usually plan to ride a few select rides (2-3), go back to the resort to cool down and then go back to a park for another ride after the sun goes down some. If you let him choose maybe 2-3rides to go on would that help?

Does he like electronic games? Maybe he could entertain himself in line with that?

Unfortunately, lines are the story of life and if it's too difficult for him now, you may be better to wait until he can tolerate it.

 

[grumpy&princess]

there really isnt anything i can do about the time we go. my mom only gets two weeks off a year from her job when the place closes for two week and these are the two weeks she is off most years. Electronic games are hit and miss with him. Never thought about camelbacks dont know if i would want that on my back all day though. I think we are gonna up his therapy til summer to try to get a better handle on this with him. It is just so upsetting and frustrating to deal with all of this with him. I know I am not the only one in this situation and i know there has to be ppl worse off than him but it does make you feel all alone in the world when your child has a problem like this. Anyone else have an older child with a problem like this out there?

 

[KPeveler]

it may be worth even looking into getting a manual wheelchair for him that is your own - you can get "transport wheelchairs" - check them out - they have all small wheels, so they weigh very little and fold very flat... that way you can let him decorate it (fabric markers, stickers, glow in the dark stars, etc) and make it his "own." if it is his cool transformers/disney/superman/favorite-character chair, he may be more willing to use it... and you can bring it in line (although with a child in it, you may need to get a GAC just for convenience sake - i have heard occasional reports of CMs getting confused with a child in a transport wheelchair - sometimes they think it is a stroller and ask you to park it) also with a transport wheelchair he cannot push it himself, which you may not want him to do!

i hope this all works out for you!

 

[ireland_nicole]

My DD who is 8 has similar issues to your son. We went last June (we also have a DS,5 w/ disabilities.) I would encourage you not to wait another year, over time the experience changes. At the same time, try not to have high expectations of accomplishing a lot in one day. I agree going early to the park w/ EMH and then park hopping as soon as it becomes crowded is good, as well at either leaving early to stay on routine or else taking a break and going back later. Use your TGM info, fast pass, and GAC to help. I planned times out throughout the day and kept snacks at aaalll times. Another thing to remember is that the lines keep moving, so it's not as hard as staying put the whole time. We played disney trivia games, etc. as a family and made up stories with each of us taking a sentence. Many queue areas are themed and really interesting as well. And if he has a meltdown, so what? You're still at Disney World! And you're still going to have great experiences! It's just going to be different, and require a lot more planning, flexibility, and awareness. (Kind of like living in Holland, huh?) But it can still be awesome. Treasure every good moment, and store them up. And think about a double stroller or w/c, a child who's tired from the sun and walking is a child who will melt down a lot faster. LOL
Nicole

 

[scojos]

hello from the uk!
i am not an expert on disney, but this will be our 3rd trip, with Josh who has aspergers.
He suffers with queing, not jost time but space, hates being in contact with strangers...
last year we took his DS and hired a big push chair to give him as much space as we could, also PAL mickey kept telling him stupid things which he thought was great- especially where there was no queues!
Used the 1st aid areas to "cool" down when over stressed at MGM, staff were very sympathetic.
Everything, and i mean everything was planned military style for months before, josh knew where we were going for bfast lunch and dinner and where we were going in between, no sneaking off on a ride because there was no queue... we tried and had a melt down, we ll know next time!
the strangest things amused him and kept him going, he was allowed up on the steam train(daddys passion) and they are going again this year, flashing ice cubes from restaurants, ice creams and sweets (ok thats bribery
!)
The GAC was a god send, i have cards from the national autism society over here explaining about an invisible illness, i meet at least 1/2 dozen other people wearing autism ribbons, generally in quiet out of the way places, and i gave several cards to these people.

CMs are very well trained, well all the ones i met where, even characters when you "wave", literally the GAC i more sensitive. Josh love Buzz, yet he is huge!, the guy bent down and talked to him, despite a huge queue, special, silly moments.
do not think you will not cope, you know your kids best, even if you only do 2 hours a day (i would not recommend more than that in 1 session anyway) ride the monorail, do character meals to meet the with less people. Play in the pool, play mini golf, but enjoy yourselves. Diney is magic!
Tracy

 

[OneLittleSpark]

OK, you've had some great advice already, but I'll just throw in what I can think of, so you can see if any of it sounds helpful:

Keep everyone cool and hydrated. I can think of nothing more certain to get people grouchy and tetchy than being hot and dehydrated! Keep a few of those mini, battery powered fans with you (perhaps clip one onto your son's wheelchair / stroller, if you get one) and carry some water with you (this doesn't have to be much, as there are a lot of water fountains where you can refill).

Use all the tools you have (TGM, Fastpass, etc) to try and plan as stress-free a trip as possible.

If possible, get the Fastpasses 'in secret', so your son doesn't even know he's waiting. Now, I don't mean you should shout "look over there", then run to get them, but maybe you can sit with your kids in a restaurant, while your mother ducks out for ten minutes to get the Fastpasses.

At the same time, be flexible in your plans. If your son is having a bad day, be prepared to pull out at a moment's notice and go back to the resort.

If possible, hit the parks first thing, pull out before lunch, then go back in the evening. That way you avoid the worst of the crowds and the heat. Also, resort restaurants tend to be quieter at lunch time than the park ones, as most people are out for the day. Spend the middle of the day watching cartoons, reading, making a scrap book of the holiday so far, in the pool, exploring the resort, whatever you fancy.

Don't expect to do every ride in the park, or to have a completely meltdown-free trip. You may encounter one or two bumps, and you will probably not see everything, but the important thing is, you're on holiday with your family. That's all that matters really.

Before you leave, get each person to pick two or three rides that they really, really want to do, and make sure you fit them in. That way, you won't get anyone say at the end of the trip "oh, but I wanted to do that ride, and we didn't get to".

Be firm about when you're going to leave the park. It's all too easy to get caught up in the "just one more ride" train of thought, but it's not a good road to go down. Before the day starts, pick a time. When that time comes around, finish whichever attraction you're doing, then go back to the resort. No ifs, ands or buts. If you have something fun (but low key) planned back at the resort, it might help entice them out of the park. Whether it's a film, a TV show, a dip in the pool or a nice dessert, a little bit of bribery can go a long way!

Find a few things that calm your son down, after he's had / as he's nearing a meltdown. For instance, does a dip in the pool help? Would a quick bath calm him? A drink of water? A piece of fruit, or similar snack? Maybe just washing his face? Having a meltdown, or even getting close to one, is going to wear him out, physically and mentally, so if you can 'recharge' him somehow, you may be able to reduce the likely-hood of another one.

If you can, try to plan some mother-daughter time with your little one. Would your son be OK back at the hotel room with your mother? If he's settled somewhere with TV / books / games etc. to keep him occupied, would he be all right without you? Or could your mother take your little girl out for some one-to-one time? The reason I'm suggesting this, is that I can see your daughter may be upset about having to leave quite early in the day, and that her getting upset could upset your son too. If she knew she would get some time with Mum or Grandma later in the day, it might keep her calmer and happier. Also, it will allow you to focus more on what your son wants to go on, when you're all together, as your daughter will get her requests while he's chilling out at the resort.

I hope you have a wonderful trip! Good luck!

 

[Aunt Flancy]

Has the GAC changed since 2005? My son has very similar problems and we had the GAC. We were there on our Spring Break (mid March) and our longest wait was maybe 15 minutes.

 

[winniethepoohsmom]

I know I am not the only one in this situation and i know there has to be ppl worse off than him but it does make you feel all alone in the world when your child has a problem like this. Anyone else have an older child with a problem like this out there?

Our DS is 16 and our first trip to Disney he was 12. Like you we had so many concerns, since that trip we have taken 4 more and I learn something new each time we go. We put off going because we did'nt know how DS would do afterwards I wished we had gone sooner. Nothing with our kids is ever easy and every child is different so some things you have to try to find the better way for what works for you. It's great that you have your Mom going with you, it would be good to have a way to communicate with each other in case you need to split up, DH and I did this with our boys so our other DS could enjoy the things he wanted to do as well. We have always stayed on site and rented a car, we find this works for us for mid-day breaks when the parks are getting more crowded and the car gets us back to the hotel quickly so we don't need to wait in bus lines or stand on a bus. I would also recommend eating breakfast at your hotel to avoid the crowds and lines it makes for a less stressful start to the day. Some people recommend getting using the early entry days at the parks if you are staying onsite and leaving once the park opens to the general public and hopping to another park if you have park hopping, but we felt this might be to much for DS to handle. We find getting to the parks at opening on the days that TGM recommends worked better for us and heading to rides that DS likes the most first. We have always used a GAC and it has worked well for us with a minimal wait but we have not been to disney when you are going. We took our last trip in Aug. and it was hot but we got to the parks early and ate lunch at a counter service before noon to avoid the lines and we left when we felt DS had enough and went back to the hotel for a swim. Try not to overdue it and get everything in. I would also recommend eating dinner early to avoid waiting for a table between 5 & 5:30 has worked for us. Our DS16 loves Disney World and every time we have a break from school he gets out a bag to pack and puts on the disney planning dvd. Every trip we take we make changes as to what he can do or what he wants to do whether it's more park time or more swim time because if he's not happy no one is. We also try not to make MK our first park because it is his favorite he does'nt seem to enjoy the other parks as much when go there after the MK. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Linda

 

[disneydad1013]

GAC's helped my family greatly. Please don't let your childs condition hold you back. The CMs are very helpful and will do there best to help. If you can get a letter from your childs doctor that explains everything, this will only help. Enjoy you trip.

 

[SueM in MN]

Has the GAC changed since 2005? My son has very similar problems and we had the GAC. We were there on our Spring Break (mid March) and our longest wait was maybe 15 minutes.

If you look at the disABILITIES FAQs thread near the top of this boards, there is a section of FAQs about GACs that is current information.