In Honor Of "Talk Like A Pirate Day" (Not That I'm Doing It)...

[Sawx04]

Here's my favorite pirate joke:


A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"


"Arrh – Not at ‘tall." the pirate replies, "I be fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."


"Arrh!," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine, really."


"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."


"Aye," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great, really."


"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Arrh," says the pirate, "One day when I was swabbing me deck, some gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them--arrgh, he, pooped--in me eye."


"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!"

"Well," says the pirate, "'Twas me first day with me hook.”

 

[kevrab]

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel strapped and chained to his waist.

Bartender asks "Mr. Pirate--are you aware that you have a ship's wheel strapped around you?"

Pirate says "Aaaargh! It's driving me nuts!"

 

[mdvlprof]

pirate walks into a bar --- arrr.