I'm too young to be a granny!

[2young4granny]

So it goes without saying I'm a long time poster using an assumed name. I'm mainly doing this incognito because no one in our family knows the news yet.

Anyway, in the past week DD has graduated high school, turned 18 and told me she is pregnant! My emotions are all over the place. I'm sad for her future. I'm sad for MY future. (I realize how bad that probably sounds.) I have been compassionate and understaing for DD and will continue to be. But inside I'm a mess. I go from being upset and crying (at home, no one at work knows) to overjoyed at having a grandchild. One minute I'm a blubbering mess the next minute I'm picturing his first trip to WDW. My head and heart are both just so confused right now. I will love this child like no other, I know that. But for now it's just heartbreaking. I guess I'm mourning DD's lost future.

I have discovered a silver lining though. DD was unsure about enrolling FT at the community college next fall. Now, she's going to go full time and get started on providing a great future for my future grandchild. This has kicked her motivation into high gear (thankgoodness). We will get through this. It is just such a huge shock.

For now though I'm sad.

And, yes, even thought she is technially an "adult" I will be there to support her and help her through this.

Oh, did I mention that I will only be 41 when I become a grandmother!?!?!?

 

[Princess Row]

Sending you hugs!

Just because she is 18 and having a child does not mean she has lost her future. She can still go to school and become something of herself, that being said she is going to need help.

My mom had me at 16 and is now a registered nurse with a masters degree. She worked hard to get where she was but had help from family. If your DD puts her mind to it she can accomplish it. Just be there to help!

 

[Robinrs]

So it goes without saying I'm a long time poster using an assumed name. I'm mainly doing this incognito because no one in our family knows the news yet.

Anyway, in the past week DD has graduated high school, turned 18 and told me she is pregnant! My emotions are all over the place. I'm sad for her future. I'm sad for MY future. (I realize how bad that probably sounds.) I have been compassionate and understaing for DD and will continue to be. But inside I'm a mess. I go from being upset and crying (at home, no one at work knows) to overjoyed at having a grandchild. One minute I'm a blubbering mess the next minute I'm picturing his first trip to WDW. My head and heart are both just so confused right now. I will love this child like no other, I know that. But for now it's just heartbreaking. I guess I'm mourning DD's lost future.

I have discovered a silver lining though. DD was unsure about enrolling FT at the community college next fall. Now, she's going to go full time and get started on providing a great future for my future grandchild. This has kicked her motivation into high gear (thankgoodness). We will get through this. It is just such a huge shock.

For now though I'm sad.

And, yes, even thought she is technially an "adult" I will be there to support her and help her through this.

Oh, did I mention that I will only be 41 when I become a grandmother!?!?!?

Hang in there, Granny!!

My Mom just about lost her mind when she found out about my sister's pregnancy, also. My Mom was 44, my sister, 14. It was 1970.

Fast forward to 2013, my niece is a graduate of Stanford University and an investment borker, my sister is a IRS manager, my Mom has since passed but went to her grave proud of both of them.

She cried and was anxious when she found out, too.

Every child is a blessing in it's own right. We must stop seeing it as a "pregnancy" and as "becoming a Grandma" and see it as a blessed child, which is what she/he is.

I remember holding onto my Mom and see how sad my Dad was while they worried about their child, but they turned a sad time into a triumph.

You can, too.

 

[tennvalgirl]

I'm sorry

I hope your daughter does decide to attend your local community college full time and appreciate your help since you will be raising her child. Again

As far as being 41 years old, I had a coworker who became Grandma at 35

 

[snapppyd]

You sound like a great Mom, with your support and love she will do wonderful things with her life. Congrats on your first grandchild, just think, you will be young enough to chase them all over Disney!!

 

[2young4granny]

Oh my mom was only 17 when she had me so she will be a great-grandmother at the ripe old age of 58!

And DD was going to attend Community College she just wanted to take her time by going part time instead of full time for the first semester. (She has been going there her entire senior year so wouldn't lose any ground, just not be ahead anymore.) This has changed that. And also looking at the bright side, next year she will probably be offered grants to help with schooling. That will be a HUGE help.

 

[LisaR]

I have a DD the same age and I can't imagine how I would react if she told me she was pregnant right now. I can only hope that I would handle it with as much grace as you are. The fact that you have given her your unwavering support and love says it all. Once the roller coaster of emotions die down, you will all get through this. She can still have a bright future in front of her and can be anything she wants to be. Life will be a little tougher for her than the 18 y/o without a baby, but she can make it work. Hang in there and congratulations!

 

[Sarah1997]

I told my daughter she cannot have kids until she is 25. But I don't think that will happen. LOL

 

[Robinrs]

Oh my mom was only 17 when she had me so she will be a great-grandmother at the ripe old age of 58!

My Mom was 16 when she was married, 17 when she had my oldest sister, 39 when she became a grandmother for the first time and 59 when she became a Great Grandmother. If she had lived her Great Great was born 3 years ago!

I'm 57 and my one and only child is 20... I am the exact opposite of my family. I started LATE. Even my nephew is a Grandfather!

 

[minkydog]

Awww It's gonna be okay...You're not the first young grandma and you won't be the last. I empathize with you--I would be very upset if DD20 told me she was pregnant. Not because I think it's so terrible or embarrassing, but because I know how hard it is to be a parent. We want our kids to get their education behind them, get married or find their life partner, and get themselves established before they start making babies. When they get it all backwards, it IS distressing. Just keep doing what you're doing, supporting your DD. She will always remember how you handled this, you know.

And just for the record, having a baby at 18 isn't necessarily the end of her future. I can't even count how many friends I know who either got pregnant in HS, just out of HS, during college, dropped out of school, etc, and went on to make a success of themselves. I think there must be something about having a child that makes a parent just want to do better. At any rate, it's not over until the fat lady sings....and she's not singin' any time soon!

Congratulations on the new grandbaby. I imagine you are about to have your heart stolen for good.

 

[momto2girls]

Congratulations! And... I'm sorry. I think both sentiments are appropriate here. For what it is worth, you sound like you are taking it better than I would. My oldest DD is only 12, but I fear something like this happening. If it did, I know that I wouldn't take it well at all.

Big hugs to you!

 

[2young4granny]

I guess mourning her lost future is a bit harsh. I guess I should say I'm mourning the future I wanted her to have. She still has a future. It's just dramatically different than the one we thought'd she'd have a few weeks ago.

Once family knows I'll post under my regular user name. I don't know who in my family knows I come here so until they've been told I'll use this name. I just needed to vent/talk/etc about it right now and have no where else to turn for now. I want nothing more to talk to my mother about this but I can't...so the DIS it is.

 

[2young4granny]

Congratulations! And... I'm sorry. I think both sentiments are appropriate here. For what it is worth, you sound like you are taking it better than I would. My oldest DD is only 12, but I fear something like this happening. If it did, I know that I wouldn't take it well at all.

Big hugs to you!

Honestly, I'm surprising myself at how well I'm taking it. It is what it is and I can't change it so I just have to accept it.

I'm usually one of those blow up and ground for life types in the heat of the moment but I've been unusually calm throughout this. Maybe I'm calming down in my old age. Ha! LOL

 

[wiigirl]

HUGS

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I know you are in shock, as you should be.

Things don't always work out how you have it in your mind, right? I know.

Get your dd some life insurance and plan stuff for the baby as well. Then you have paternity, the other grandparents, child support, all that other legal mumbo jumbo.

Best wishes that things go smoothly, without nuttiness, and healthy.

 

[Lesprivate]

This was me 3 years ago when my daughter graduated HS I was in shock at first but couldn't see my life without my precious grandson who is the love our lives. I love being a grandma now and am young enough to chase him around.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

I can only imagine the mixed emotions you're going through right now!

While I've never been in your shoes, I have had several close friends who have.... one of which is at WDW with her grandson right now.

I understand that you're upset. And I completely understand how you're mourning the loss of the "normal" future without a baby. You have the right to feel that way. You have the right to cry and to let it all out.

But - like you said - this baby may be motivation for her to really get to work in securing her future. She's not only depending on herself - her baby is depending on her, too. I know many young adults who have had a child in their teens and have been very successful (4.0s, scholarships, jobs, etc.). This isn't the future that you thought she would have, but it is a future, and it can definitely be a bright one.

I can almost guarantee you that once the baby is here, you will love it more than anything. It seems a lot more difficult to be upset when there is a sweet little baby right there... who could be wearing Mickey ears.... and a "First Trip" button....

Congratulations on the grandbaby! And I wish you and your daughter the best - don't be afraid to come here and vent if you need to!

 

[horseshowmom]

So it goes without saying I'm a long time poster using an assumed name. I'm mainly doing this incognito because no one in our family knows the news yet.

Anyway, in the past week DD has graduated high school, turned 18 and told me she is pregnant! My emotions are all over the place. I'm sad for her future. I'm sad for MY future. (I realize how bad that probably sounds.) I have been compassionate and understaing for DD and will continue to be. But inside I'm a mess. I go from being upset and crying (at home, no one at work knows) to overjoyed at having a grandchild. One minute I'm a blubbering mess the next minute I'm picturing his first trip to WDW. My head and heart are both just so confused right now. I will love this child like no other, I know that. But for now it's just heartbreaking. I guess I'm mourning DD's lost future.

I have discovered a silver lining though. DD was unsure about enrolling FT at the community college next fall. Now, she's going to go full time and get started on providing a great future for my future grandchild. This has kicked her motivation into high gear (thankgoodness). We will get through this. It is just such a huge shock.

For now though I'm sad.

And, yes, even thought she is technially an "adult" I will be there to support her and help her through this.

Oh, did I mention that I will only be 41 when I become a grandmother!?!?!?

I guess mourning her lost future is a bit harsh. I guess I should say I'm mourning the future I wanted her to have. She still has a future. It's just dramatically different than the one we thought'd she'd have a few weeks ago.

I think your feelings are completely normal, and while your daughter's future certainly isn't over, as an adult you realize that she is going to go through a major life change - babies do that to you married or unmarried, young or old, but it can be harder being young and unmarried. She's blessed that she has a supportive family because you'll be a tremendous help to her.

I know you are in shock, as you should be.

Things don't always work out how you have it in your mind, right? I know.

Get your dd some life insurance and plan stuff for the baby as well. Then you have paternity, the other grandparents, child support, all that other legal mumbo jumbo.

Best wishes that things go smoothly, without nuttiness, and healthy.

I agree with all of this but particularly with the bolded. In the long run, it's necessary and better to get it done as soon as possible.

 

[Colleen27]

I've never been in your shoes, but I've been in your daughter's and I just want to tell you that having a baby at 18 isn't the end of the world. Remember, all those scary stats about teenage moms and their babies lump all teens together, whether they're 13 or 19 when they give birth, and some of the most shocking actually exclude adult teens altogether.

I went from planning on a four year college with absolutely no direction, going mainly because it was expected of me, to completing an associates in a technical field (MCSE and A+ certifications) and starting a career in network support before my 20th birthday. My life hasn't been the same as it would have if I hadn't had my son, but it certainly hasn't been a disaster either.

 

[aaarcher86]

Big hugs!

Her path in life will definitely be different than what you had expected, and much harder, but it's definitely not over! And it's most certainly doable!

Just stay supportive (I'm sure you will!). I imagine she was terrified to tell you! She'll need some help, some guidance, and maybe a kick in the *** a time or two but she'll get there!

Once the shock and fear wears off you'll be elated and you can start getting to the fun stuff