If you bring food/bottle of wine to a party

[jeepgirl30]

Food - yes, wine is a bit different. It would depend. Most my close friends know I am a wine drinker and I know they are not. so if i bring wine it is for me to drink. Most our close friends serve beer and vodka drinks. if anyone wants something else they bring it.

If the party is not at a close friends house where I know the norm, i would bring 2 bottles, one for me and one to give to the host as a gift. What the host does with the 2nd bottle is completely up to them, share it or keep it doesn't matter to me.

Edited: i don't mean to say I would keep one entire bottle for myself alone! I mean I would expect to have atleast a glass from the wine i bring but the 2nd bottle would be given as the gift.

 

[LuvLDM]

I agree w/ the majority.
If I was specifically asked to bring wine, I would assume that the wine was my contribution to the meal & it would be served. Wouldn't bother me if it wasn't served though.


If I bring a bottle of wine w/ out being asked, then it is a gift for the host & they can do whatever they want with it.

 

[tlbwriter]

Etiquette-wise, it is actually very impolite to bring unrequested food or drink and expect it to be served. The host sets the menu.

Obviously it's different if they request you bring something for the gathering.

 

[AndreaDM]

Only if I was asked to bring something specific. I wouldn't bring food if I wasn't asked, only wine or like someone else said maybe a box of chocolates. Most people have a set menu if they're throwing a party, so I wouldn't show up with a Tupperware full of potato salad to a fancy holiday cocktail party lol.

 

[marlynnp]

If I was asked to bring it ("Hey, would you bring a desert for our Memorial Day picnic?") I would expect it to be served.

If I was bringing it as a hostess gift (I'm going to a cocktail party at my neighbors for New Years Eve, I bring her some homemade fudge), I would NOT expect it to be served because it is a gift for her (and her family). If she chose to serve it, that would be fine.

This^

 

[Bob NC]

Once I hand it to them I don't give it another thought.

 

[It'sOffToDisneyWeGo]

I agree w/ the majority.
If I was specifically asked to bring wine, I would assume that the wine was my contribution to the meal & it would be served. Wouldn't bother me if it wasn't served though.


If I bring a bottle of wine w/ out being asked, then it is a gift for the host & they can do whatever they want with it.

This is exactly what I think.

 

[Disney Doll]

No I do not. It is a gift. They can choose to serve it them or save it for later.

 

[jen0610]

Once I hand it to them I don't give it another thought.

You would if you were known for a specific item and at holidays you made this item and took orders for it.

Example. My SIL is wonderful at Christmas with the number of cookies that she makes. She has had co-workers ask to buy platters of cookies. She loves to do this. The one year, a co-work, who never bought cookies (hem-hawed over the cost) but always help themselves to what SIL took into work, had a Christmas carry in for the work group. Everybody was asked to bring something. SIL was asked to do up a couple of trays of cookies. Seeing as the department had 23 people in it and the party was for them and a guest, SIL made three huge trays of cookies. The hostess, only put out 1 of the trays and kept the other two for her family. It rubbed everybody the wrong way. The hostess got the Christmas cookies she was too cheap to buy.

So, in that type of case, ya it would make me mad to have someone take advantage - using for their own personal gain - of the item that I provided for a party.

 

[tlbwriter]

You would if you were known for a specific item and at holidays you made this item and took orders for it.

Example. My SIL is wonderful at Christmas with the number of cookies that she makes. She has had co-workers ask to buy platters of cookies. She loves to do this. The one year, a co-work, who never bought cookies (hem-hawed over the cost) but always help themselves to what SIL took into work, had a Christmas carry in for the work group. Everybody was asked to bring something. SIL was asked to do up a couple of trays of cookies. Seeing as the department had 23 people in it and the party was for them and a guest, SIL made three huge trays of cookies. The hostess, only put out 1 of the trays and kept the other two for her family. It rubbed everybody the wrong way. The hostess got the Christmas cookies she was too cheap to buy.

So, in that type of case, ya it would make me mad to have someone take advantage - using for their own personal gain - of the item that I provided for a party.

That's different. SIL was asked to bring the cookies for the party, and they all should have been put out for the party. But if she hadn't been asked, and just decided to bring cookies, it would be rude to insist that they be served. Even if they're really, really good.

 

[Bob NC]

You would if you were known for a specific item and at holidays you made this item and took orders for it.

LOL, look, I was just answering the question the way it was asked.

I gave MY answer.

Was my answer wrong?

 

[onelilspark]

If I was asked to bring it ("Hey, would you bring a desert for our Memorial Day picnic?") I would expect it to be served.

If I was bringing it as a hostess gift (I'm going to a cocktail party at my neighbors for New Years Eve, I bring her some homemade fudge), I would NOT expect it to be served because it is a gift for her (and her family). If she chose to serve it, that would be fine.

I agree with this.

 

[Minnesota!]

If I was asked to bring it ("Hey, would you bring a desert for our Memorial Day picnic?") I would expect it to be served.

If I was bringing it as a hostess gift (I'm going to a cocktail party at my neighbors for New Years Eve, I bring her some homemade fudge), I would NOT expect it to be served because it is a gift for her (and her family). If she chose to serve it, that would be fine.

This!

 

[LuvLDM]

I gave MY answer.

Was my answer wrong?

Apparently so

 

[jen0610]

LOL, look, I was just answering the question the way it was asked.

I gave MY answer.

Was my answer wrong?

No your answer isn't wrong, the example is just another way to look at it.

The op doesn't say if they were asked to bring something or not. The questions was, if you bring, should it be used.

Most of us are agreeing, that if asked put it out. If your asked and it's not used or partial used, you (the bringer) does have a right to be miffed. If you just bring something, it's up to the hostess to use or keep as a gift. Totally up to the hostess. No need to get mad if she keeps it for later use.

Maybe what happened with the op is like my SIL, someone asked her to bring something, knowing what she will bring and instead of putting it out, they kept it for their future use. Or maybe, she grabbed a bottle of wine, thinking it would be good to have plenty on hand. That part of the questions isn't stated.

 

[YodaGirl]

I agree. If I'm asked to bring something, I'd expect it to be served.

If I took it upon myself to bring something, then I would not.

 

[DisneySarah80]

If its a large plate of cookies, or a large cake, then yes. If its a bottle of wine, then no. Then again, I don't drink wine, so I wouldn't care if it were brought out or not.

 

[BLTby40]

You would if you were known for a specific item and at holidays you made this item and took orders for it.
Everybody was asked to bring something. SIL was asked to do up a couple of trays of cookies. Seeing as the department had 23 people in it and the party was for them and a guest, SIL made three huge trays of cookies. The hostess, only put out 1 of the trays and kept the other two for her family. It rubbed everybody the wrong way. The hostess got the Christmas cookies she was too cheap to buy.

So, in that type of case, ya it would make me mad to have someone take advantage - using for their own personal gain - of the item that I provided for a party.

ohhhh....that would make me mad.

 

[Ceila]

I'm a little surprised at how many people answered "yes" for food without adding "if asked."

If I wasn't asked to bring food to contribute, I would never expect the host and/or hostess to put it out, even if it was a dip, cookies, cake, etc. Unless asked to bring a dish, anything a guest brings should be considered to be a gift to those hosting and they (the hosts) should get to decide whether to set it out or not.

 

[BLTby40]

My brother and his wife LOVE wine. The put dots on the bottles so they remember which were cheap and which were $$$ so they don't bring a $50 bottle to a picnic or open a $9 bottle first.
My mom always buys $4 wine, so when we get together I'm like, "Let him bring the wine!"