I wish we had an adult-only DIS playground

[PrincessElena]

I wish we could have a forum for hot topics that might not be suitable for younger people. Examples would be politics, religion, the Duggar family, etc. Perhaps we would just need to verify our age before entering, and have an understanding that this could get heated! I know it probably isn't possible, but I would love to make this suggestion to someone in charge. Or, does anyone else know of any good sites where these topics are discussed and perhaps debated?

There are so many forums on this site, it can be extremely overhwelming. Many forums don't seem to be visited much. Perhaps they could consolidate some of them or get rid of them entirely. It seems too cluttered.

 

[ronandannette]

I really doubt the current guidelines have anything to do with the age of the posters here or protecting "the children". I imagine it's more about how hard it is to moderate controversial threads and the number of complaints that must get lodged due to posters being offended by one another. When it then comes time to adjudicate those disputes it's impossible to do without seeming to either favour or discriminate against one "sacred cow" or another...just too much work because no matter how much people say they want to hear other opinions, they don't really mean it when the chips are down.

FWIW, I was a lurker on a cruise-related message board a while back that was formed for the singular reason of being able to say things that weren't allowed on CruiseCritic. It was completely unmoderated as far as I could tell and had a relatively small number of members, most of whom had been banned from the other site. It ran hot and heavy for a short period of time but the novelty of being able to use swear words and post rude, cruel and potentially-libelous comments wore off pretty quick, especially once the core members started turning on each other. That site doesn't exist anymore as far as I know.

 

[Azrael]

What about just making people aware that they are entering at their own risk? You may get your feelings hurt, not everyone will have the same viewpoint, etc. I would love to DEBATE! TAKE OFF THE GLOVES!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I never understood the notion of a poster running to the mods to tattle on other posters for being "mean" to them. What is this, 2nd grade?

I prefer the method I'm used to in other forums. If someone is REALLY out of line, they get a public beat down from the other forum members. Of course the whiners are typically the first to be on the receiving end of that

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I thought there used to be a debate type forum here?

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I wish we could have a forum for hot topics that might not be suitable for younger people. Examples would be politics, religion, the Duggar family, etc. Perhaps we would just need to verify our age before entering, and have an understanding that this could get heated! I know it probably isn't possible, but I would love to make this suggestion to someone in charge. Or, does anyone else know of any good sites where these topics are discussed and perhaps debated?

There are so many forums on this site, it can be extremely overhwelming. Many forums don't seem to be visited much. Perhaps they could consolidate some of them or get rid of them entirely. It seems too cluttered.

The trouble is in my experience, the children tend to handle these topics far better than the adults. With the adults, too often these topics devolve into identity politics and cat fights. We used to be able to discuss these topics here. But time and time and time again the community proved that it could not handle them. And it's not just the kids. It's the adults.

I never understood the notion of a poster running to the mods to tattle on other posters for being "mean" to them. What is this, 2nd grade?
I prefer the method I'm used to in other forums. If someone is REALLY out of line, they get a public beat down from the other forum members. Of course the whiners are typically the first to be on the receiving end of that

Actually it's the poster being mean and nasty to the point they violate site rules that needs to grow up, not the one that turns them in. And I say this as someone who has received points a couple of times during my stay here. Certainly not as many as most, but more than some. As for public beat downs, it's often just the clique beating down someone they disagree with. Even on a site I read from time to time that is about as community mod as one can get, hide ratings are often abused and often legit hide rates are then up rated by others. And in the end it ends up being the site admin having to break out the ban hammer to take care of the problem.

 

[marybet]

There used to be political threads but they were all banned after the 2008 elections. I enjoyed them most of the time but there were always a few posters who went over the line. Now I would be afraid to even mention names because I commented on a former candidate in a non-political situation and got told I was being political. I wasn't but that really didn't seem to matter.

I do miss discussing the elections but I also understand why we can't. I know there are political boards out there but I looked at one once and it was just to hardcore for me. I much prefer a friendly discussion.

 

[Colleen27]

There used to be political threads but they were all banned after the 2008 elections. I enjoyed them most of the time but there were always a few posters who went over the line. Now I would be afraid to even mention names because I commented on a former candidate in a non-political situation and got told I was being political. I wasn't but that really didn't seem to matter.

I do miss discussing the elections but I also understand why we can't. I know there are political boards out there but I looked at one once and it was just to hardcore for me. I much prefer a friendly discussion.

Same here. And I know what you mean about being careful about the line. I once used politics, in a completely inoffensive, non-partisan, and non-race/candidate specific fashion, as a statistical comparison and got points for that. I could pretend it makes me more careful but honestly it doesn't. I figure it doesn't happen often enough to get me any real trouble, and I've never been particularly good at self-censoring, so I've pretty much continued posting as always.

I don't do political boards either, because there's no friendly foundation there for respectful debate. What made those discussions good here on the DIS is that it was only part of any poster's online presence, so it devolves into bickering and identity politics and lobbing insults rather than real conversation.

 

[SLP958]

We can't talk about the Duggars?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Yesterday we were told that a certain topic is not appropriate for the DISboards. While that doesn't surprise me, it does disappoint me, and here's why.

Many "un-Disney" topics are discussed here. Right now there's a thread about a woman taking her toddler's corpse to the playground -- You're not going to find that in a Disney film or park. We freely discuss all kinds of crimes here, from credit card fraud to police brutality, murder, and terrorism. But when it comes to this type of crime, it's too inappropriate or taboo or dirty or shameful or whatever it is that means it needs to be handled differently from all the rest. That's not right.

A crime is a crime and victims are victims. No victim should ever feel shame for having been victimized. They should not feel that the crime perpetrated against them is in a league of its own and therefore can't be discussed as openly as any other crime. We would never feel squeamish talking about someone who had been carjacked. Someone who came home to discover their house had been broken into would never feel hesitant to tell someone that happened to them. Nor would those crimes be considered inappropriate for message board discussion. Shutting down conversations due to the nature of the crime does a disservice to those who have been victimized in that way, and to the progress of our society as a whole. It reinforces the idea that their form of victimization is too taboo to speak about, that their assault is somehow their burden to carry alone, hide it away, not speak about it because you might make others uncomfortable. And, for a crime that is perpetrated by abusers who depend on secrecy, shutting down open conversation is the worst thing we can do. Pushing these issues back into the shadows makes us complicit in perpetuating the shame and cover up that so often exists with crimes of this nature.

 

[mnrose]

Yesterday we were told that a certain topic is not appropriate for the DISboards. While that doesn't surprise me, it does disappoint me, and here's why.

Many "un-Disney" topics are discussed here. Right now there's a thread about a woman taking her toddler's corpse to the playground -- You're not going to find that in a Disney film or park. We freely discuss all kinds of crimes here, from credit card fraud to police brutality, murder, and terrorism. But when it comes to this type of crime, it's too inappropriate or taboo or dirty or shameful or whatever it is that means it needs to be handled differently from all the rest. That's not right.

A crime is a crime and victims are victims. No victim should ever feel shame for having been victimized. They should not feel that the crime perpetrated against them is in a league of its own and therefore can't be discussed as openly as any other crime. We would never feel squeamish talking about someone who had been carjacked. Someone who came home to discover their house had been broken into would never feel hesitant to tell someone that happened to them. Nor would those crimes be considered inappropriate for message board discussion. Shutting down conversations due to the nature of the crime does a disservice to those who have been victimized in that way, and to the progress of our society as a whole. It reinforces the idea that their form of victimization is too taboo to speak about, that their assault is somehow their burden to carry alone, hide it away, not speak about it because you might make others uncomfortable. And, for a crime that is perpetuated by abusers who depend on secrecy, shutting down open conversation is the worst thing we can do. Pushing these issues back into the shadows makes us complicit in perpetuating the shame and cover up that so often exists with crimes of this nature.

Applause Applause. 100% correct. And, as someone else pointed out above, the Penn State case was talked about ad nauseum on this site. That was ok. Suddenly, it's not? I urge the PTB to reconsider the stance that this topic is somehow off limits.

 

[mnrose]

We can't talk about the Duggars?

Apparently not anymore. We used to be able to (obviously). There were many threads about them in the past here. But, now we can't because one of their members committed a crime we can't talk about.

 

[sukhakuli]

It's too bad that molestation and sexual abuse is still swept under the rug and considered too "inappropriate" to be discussed, both in real life and on the internet. Maybe if these things were out in the open more, victims wouldn't feel so much shame, and potentially the crimes would be prosecuted appropriately.

Unfortunately, women are still very marginalized in this country, as evidenced by the fact that people can't discuss sexual assault and abuse. Obviously males are abused as well, but the subjugation of women in certain types of subcultures in the US breeds a culture of harassment, assault, molestation, and abuse towards women that is still being hushed up in public.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

There are so many other boards and forums that allow controversial topics. You (not directed at any particular person) may not "know" them, but you really don't "know" the posters on these boards, either, with small exceptions. The owner of these boards has very definite criteria for keeping them running for the rest of us, and that is to keep them family friendly. Everyone is welcomed here as long as they play decently. If I want snark and controversy I visit other sites (um, that's like never for me ).

 

[ronandannette]

There are so many other boards and forums that allow controversial topics. You (not directed at any particular person) may not "know" them, but you really don't "know" the posters on these boards, either, with small exceptions. The owner of these boards has very definite criteria for keeping them running for the rest of us, and that is to keep them family friendly. Everyone is welcomed here as long as they play decently. If I want snark and controversy I visit other sites (um, that's like never .

So then, was the nature of the incident being discussed the entire issue? Sometimes I think it would make for less of these follow-up threads if Mods would give a very clear, even if brief, explanation of what violations were resulting in a closure/thread removal. I understand that it is not required, but it would at least circumvent threads like the Huh??? one yesterday. And I imagine it's just as hard to watch/moderate threads ABOUT closed/removed threads as it was to deal with the originals.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

We can't talk about the Duggars?

In principle we can. However, that thread was scrubbed. And because it was scrubbed, we're not allowed to revive it.

 

[LBIJim]

We can't talk about the Duggars?

Perhaps, if you the family and only say positive things.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

Perhaps, if you the family and only say positive things.

Well, not really. That's taking the intent of my message incorrectly. Discussion is fine. The problem, as many here know, is that not everyone can maintain civility, and so debates, etc., are not allowed.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

So then, was the nature of the incident being discussed the entire issue? Sometimes I think it would make for less of these follow-up threads if Mods would give a very clear, even if brief, explanation of what violations were resulting in a closure/thread removal. I understand that it is not required, but it would at least circumvent threads like the Huh??? one yesterday. And I imagine it's just as hard to watch/moderate threads ABOUT closed/removed threads as it was to deal with the originals.

I understand where you are coming from, and sympathize. I try to give an explanation when I moderate. I think part of the problem is that what seems clear to the moderator is not clear to the poster, and then there is an argument. Or, the poster doesn't agree with the moderator, and then there is an argument. Or the poster is mad at the moderator, and there is an escalated argument. Or the poster has an agenda because of past history with other posters, and there is an argument. Or the moderator is looking at the post/thread directly, moderates it, and goes back to doing other things without giving an explanation. Or the moderator has already closed several similar type posts over the years and just doesn't want to discuss it because of having gone through above reasons several times. Or... many other reasons that I wouldn't know about necessarily.

 

[sam_gordon]

Can I just say the title of the thread could be taken in a different way than the OP meant?