I need to vent! Not to happy with a coach!

[almburr]

I went to a high school where instead of having PE, you had to play a sport. Which meant kids played sports were they had no experience and/or didn't have any interest in playing. Not everybody played, and all the coaches excuses were "this is high school, not everybody has to play".

I played volleyball all 4 years, 1 year freshman team, 1 year JV and 2 years varsity, and we had about 10 girls on our varsity team, and not everyone played. Especially when I got to play at Junior College not everyone played..

But in your poor DD's situation, I think the coach is nuts. Does she play the same 6 girls all through rotation? You would think because the school is so small and they ATLEAST have 9 girls she would play all of them. Your DD is 5'10"! Being tall is key for volleyball! Are there any girls taller than her?

Maybe take it up with the athletic director, since they're the ones over the coaches before the principle.

the labarro will sub for a couple in back row. one will sub in to serve and the other goes in at front row. DD and another girl are same height. They would be killer at the net together.

Its funny the student mgr. will letter for doing nothing,and I mean nothing. wont fill bottles shag balls she naps at practice.

Next year there might only be 7-8 girls total.

The other teams we have played with 30+ girls they had jv so thier team was split up. But 16 on varsity were all rotated through. Every team we have played they rotated them all though. THey are working as a team so everyone will know how to work together. people get sick or hurt and you need someone to hop right in.

 

[almburr]

I guess I don't see the problem. It is a high school sport and WAY beyond 'everyone gets to play'. It is not uncommon for high school volleyball teams to have 6 kids that play 99% of the time. She is a freshman she has 3 more years to play. She still is practicing with the team, right? The fact that she is binge eating after this tells me, along with your posts, that there is just a little too much importance put on her playing volleyball and someone needs to back off. I promise you if you cause a stink and make an issue of this now, she won't see playing time as she gets older either. Keep in mind, she is a FRESHMAN, but even is she was a senior, there is a reason she isn't playing and if you say her 'spiking', which is more commonly called hitting, is getting better that means she isn't as good as the other girls.

But wouldnt you want a sub player to have some idea how to play with the team? Around here they are called spikers or front liners. What i meant when I said she was getting better at spiking was she was nailing 9out of 10. Others girls dont jump when they spike and go out of bounds, so DD is jumping to spike so ball will go down, not hit it so it flys out.

The whole team scarffed after the game. Also coach admitted to DD that she forgot to play her, she was getting confused with the refs,and line up.

 

[MELSMICE]

It stinks, but in high school sports, especially on varsity, the best players will play & the others will get better by practicing with the team.

Everyone has to pay their dues. Your DD has 3 more years to play & I'm sure will be great when her time to shine comes along.

 

[almburr]

I must state this We do not have a Freshman team of a JV team there is only a Varsity team. Next year there will be less, than this year.

 

[maxiesmom]

I can see it from both sides. It would be nice if everyone got to play, and got to play the same amount of time. On the other hand, it is a competitive sport, and the coach should be able to play the players they choose.

I agree that you daughter should look at it like she is paying her dues this year.

 

[Becky2005]

I must state this We do not have a Freshman team of a JV team there is only a Varsity team. Next year there will be less, than this year.

But wouldn't that mean she would get more playing time next year if there are less girls on the team?



I guess being a bench warmer in High School volleyball for much of the 4 years, I don't see the problem. We only had 2 teams -- Varsity which was Juniors/Seniors and JV which was Freshman/Sophmores. There were no try-outs for the team back then but guess what -- they didn't rotate all the girls. There were *many* games I never played a single time at all but I was on the bench cheering on my teammates.

Curiosity got the better of me -- I just looked in my Freshman yearbook & counted how many girls were on the team -- 17! We had 17 girls & we did NOT rotate everyone.

I just looked up Junior year (since I can't find my Senior yearbook at the moment), which would be Varsity & there were 11 girls. Again, we were not all played. I wasn't the only one that didn't see a lot of playing time, there were others. Eventually we all did play a little bit during the season but not all games and never an entire game.

I was at all the practices, etc... It never occured to me to insist I get played during the games. We wanted to win, the coach put in whoever they felt were the players to put in that week based on whatever criteria.

 

[mousey]

I think that if the coach felt she was good enough to make the team, she should be able to rotate her in. Its very frustrating for the athlete and the parent to put up with this for an entire season. Those team managers are another story. I think they are usually not good enough to play on the team (or too lazy to practice) and this is the coach's way of cutting them. My daughter played basketball and softball and the same girl was manager for both teams. Her mother demanded that she wear a uniform too! She also received a letter in both sports and toward the end of the season, her mother went to the coach and thought she should play in the playoffs???

 

[kaf7878]

Been there, done that!

Honestly, I'd get used to it. As others have said, high school sports is not "community sports". You aren't guaranteed ANY playing time. It's at the coaches discretion. As a freshman, I rode the bench hard. But as I got older, played tons more.

Don't let your daughter quit. She won't get any benefit from quitting. She needs to just stick it out, enjoy the time she plays, keep practicing and encourage her teammates.

As a parent, its probably better for you to just bite your tongue and just keep encouraging her. Her time will come...

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Former coach here - if your daughter is so upset then she should go sit down and talk to the coach face to face. My rule was I would not speak to the parents until the athlete and I had tried to hash things out.

You're not going to do her any good stressing out or handling this for her. Be supportive, but it's her situation to figure out.

Good luck and I hope she has a good season!

 

[georgina]

Our high school sports experience was very limited when D started playing. The team was new at first, it was fun. As each year went on, the coach became more interested in winning above everything else. It became less fun, more sitting around not playing. D wouldn't miss practice for anything (I had to schedule her dermatology appointments during the school day she was so afraid of the coach). Even as seniors, during non-conference games that we were winning the whole time, some girls never got in the game.

I know most of the girls on this team will not be playing in college. They do it because they enjoy the sport. I think the emphasis on winning is way over the top. If they are good enough to be on the team, they should play.

After one game when she was a junior (she did not play in this game), D e-mailed coach asking if there was something she needed to work on that she might improve her playing time. Coach responded by apologizing for forgetting to put her in, complementing her on her work ethic, always smiling, good attitude, etc. D was just not good enough an athlete, but I was proud of her for sticking it out.

 

[mylightshines]

My daughter, who is a freshmen, plays three sports, volleyball, basketball and softball. She's played basketball and softball since she was 5, but just started volleyball in the 7th grade. So this is her third year of playing. 7th grade and 8th grade she got very little playing time. I mean out of 13 girls on the team, she was 11th or 12th in the lineup both years. 7th grade was just like your experiencing. We showed up to many games where she didn't even play. We talked to the coach and was told that she was a good player and that she would play. Blah, blah, blah. She wanted to quit, but we have a rule in our house you can't quit once you've made a commitment. 8th grade, had a great coach. She still didn't play much, but her coach encouraged her and kept her postive. So, last winter, we decided to let her play club volleyball. In May when we had tryouts, she made the JV team. Most of the "starters" from last year are still on the freshmen team. Not only is she on JV, she's playing 99.9% of the games and is doing great. She was even invited to play with the varsity last weekend.

So, I just wanted to say, if you think your daughter is good and has the ability, do something about it. Find a way for her to join a club and improve. Don't let her get discouraged and DON'T LET HER QUIT. If you can't joint a club, find a coach from another school that will give private lessons. The best thing that ever happened to my daughter was having a great coach who encouraged her to keep trying. I've been in your shoes and it's so hard. During her 7th grade year when she had the awful coach, she was told just smile and keep a good attitude, that she could scream in a pillow or do whatever made her feel better when she got home, but she could not let her coach know it was bothering her.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I know most of the girls on this team will not be playing in college. They do it because they enjoy the sport. I think the emphasis on winning is way over the top. If they are good enough to be on the team, they should play.

That is just not how competitive high school athletics work, nor how they SHOULD work, IMO. The whole idea is to be the best you can be - and as you get up to the varsity level that means everyone does not play.

 

[Katie]

i have to agree with the majority of the posters here.
Pay your dues your freshman year...it will get better.
It is unfortunate that your school does not have a JV team or Freshman team, however, keep in mind next year, she will have paid some dues.

or if you are from our small town, you can always pay off the coach...it seems to work here

 

[albertagirl2007]

As a young athlete I spent an entire season on the bench (I literally did not play in one game) There were plenty of tears (me and my mother) and hard feelings towards the coach. My Dad made me stick it out and the next two years I played in almost every game.

I bring that experience with me now that I am a high school volleyball coach. Last season I had a team where each player was talented enough to be a starter but some of my younger players didn't get much court time. We got into a system that "worked" where the boys played excellent as a unit revolving around 8 players (our team had 12). The younger players would get into the mix in practice but none of them could come close to taking the place of a senior player. Were there tears? Of course! I had one parent yell at me until I cried! (seriously)

This season my senior players have moved on to the senior team and I have my junior players who know the plays and the systems and will lead my younger players on and off the court (and when someone is feeling down because they are on the bench they know everyone has been there!)

I hope your daughter sticks it out and makes the best of the experience. Her time will come!

 

[MELSMICE]

I also wanted to point out that we learn more from the disappointments & failures in our lives than the successes.

My DD's have all been disappointed more than once in their lives, whether it be because of playing time on a sports team or trying out for something & not making it. They have learned invaluable lessons from these experiences.

Remind your DD that it will get better & support her when she's down. She'll follow your lead. If you bad mouth the coach & continue to reinforce to her that she should be playing more she'll think this way also & will portray the same negative feelings that your having to her team mates & others around her.

Life is much better & fun if you take on a positive attitude, even in a tough situation.

 

[debster812]

DS is 11, and plays on 2 soccer teams. A town team where he is one of the strongest players, and a club team where he is probably middle of the pack. His club squad was just split into two teams (Elite and Academy) with the coaches telling the boys that they will move them up or down depending on attitude, performance, and work rate. DS went to the head coach of both squads, and asked what he would have to work on and improve to make the Elite squad (he was placed on the Academy team). His coach sat with him for about 15 minutes, and they talked about all the things he thought DS should be working on. I got a very nice email from the coach complimenting us on having DS come to him, rather than us.

And, DS had a great game yesterday, 4 assists in the 1st half, and no goals scored against him in the 2nd while he played keeper. He's hoping to be able to move to the Elite squad for the Spring season.

Again, it's all about paying dues, being a good teammate, and putting in the work.

 

[KAMLEM]

That is just not how competitive high school athletics work, nor how they SHOULD work, IMO. The whole idea is to be the best you can be - and as you get up to the varsity level that means everyone does not play.

That's exactly what I was going to say. Maybe your DD isn't as good as you think she is? Sometimes parents have a very distorted view of their kids' abilities. My DD's have played club soccer for years and I have seen so much of this. Their parents become notorious across the league and the kid ends up suffering. I'm not saying this is your situation, just what I have seen.

 

[pooh4evr]

I agree with the others unless as a freshamn you are an outstanding phenom - you aren't going to be playing much on a varsity team-- we always had three teams, freshman, JV and varsity it was not uncommon for a frersh to get moved up to jv and play some and even less for a fresh to get moved up to varsity and actually get decent playing time - I think it is fairly normal for a freshman to sit the bench and come in at the end of games or when the score is lopsided either way- at least she made the team!

 

[mamacatnv]

That's exactly what I was going to say. Maybe your DD isn't as good as you think she is? Sometimes parents have a very distorted view of their kids' abilities. My DD's have played club soccer for years and I have seen so much of this. Their parents become notorious across the league and the kid ends up suffering. I'm not saying this is your situation, just what I have seen.

This is what I was thinking. IMO a parent should sit in the stands, keep their mouths shut and do not, I repeat do not take on the coach. If your DD feels like she is being overlooked then it is up to your DD to discuss with the coach.

Most parents think their kid is the greatest asset to the team, they cannot see the big picture and their actions can greatly influence the attitude of their child athlete. Be supportive sure, but do not continually continue to take the coach apart it serves no purpose other than to actually make your kid feel worse.

Sure, some coaches are not qualified for what they are doing, but the one thing all coaches have in common is they want to win. The majority of coaches will not sacrifice a win just to keep a kid on the bench unless it is for some form of disciplinary action, and even then many will break their own rules to get that win.

IMO tell your DD to suck it up and stick it out.

 

[MELSMICE]

This is what I was thinking. IMO a parent should sit in the stands, keep their mouths shut and do not, I repeat do not take on the coach. If your DD feels like she is being overlooked then it is up to your DD to discuss with the coach.

Definitely. One of my DD's plays AAU basketball. During one tournament last year she barely played. She was crushed because she couldn't understand why she didn't play. DH & I knew she wasn't playing well. Even though the coach has now become a personal friend, that's no reason for her to play if she's not playing well.

After many tears we convinced her that she let her team down & that it was her responsibility to talk to the coach to find out what she could do to earn her place back on the court.

The coach was extremely impressed with her responsibility & maturity. Just because of that she earned the coach's respect & was put back on the court in the championship game. She played incredible.

Let your DD take care of this on her own.