I need some advise about Kindergarten-kind of long. Sorry

[sdoll]

My son is almost 4 and will start kindergarten 1 year from September. Our school just moved the birthday cutoff date up to August 1st. My son's birthday is July 13th. He is so close to the cut off date that I wonder if I should wait an extra year to start him.
I know it is early to worry about this but what can I say I am a Mom you know what its like.

I have a few concerns- The first one has to do with maturity not so much now but when he is older. It can make such a huge difference. Another thing is that my son is tiny. He is in the 5th percentile in height. And thats after his growth spurt.

And I think this one is more about me. I really struggled in school. I over came it but my grades were not great. I did not understand basics and could not comprehend reading until about 7th grade. As a parent you remember that and pray that it does not happen to your child. I was lucky because I had good friends and never felt teased. But I knew my issues and that was hard enough. He is not behind currently and I have him in preschool but I feel as a parent it is my duty to make the right choice.

I know this is early so please don't think I am a freak. Also its not a seperation thing for me. Having my son in school would save me a ton but thats the least of my worries.

What would you do? My husband thinks I am crazy to consider waiting an extra year.

 

[brandylouwho]

Let me first state that I am not a teacher, childcare expert or anything else. I am just a mom who is sending her eldest off to kindergarten this year. Her birthday is in December, so the whole cut off date thing wasn't an issue for us.

I was honestly surprised at how many people wait that extra year to send thier kids. It seems to be the trend, especially for boys. In fact, dear friends of ours have a daughter who will turn 5 on July 4th. The mom is a 3rd grade teacher. They are sending her to 4 year old kindergarten...in essence holding her back until the 2010-2011 school year. The teacher mom told me that it seems to be around 3rd grade when the maturity/academic level issues start really showing and she jsut felt it was better to be safe than sorry.

None of us know your child. If he is in a daycare or preschool , they might have some insight as to his developmental stage. The school should be able to help guide you in deciding to send him or wait. In the end, you'll know what is best.

Good luck!

 

[longing2Batdisney]

I, too, am just a mom. My DD is 21, DS16 and DS2; DD was born in March did really well in school, DS16 born in June and struggled, DS2 born in July very smart for his age but does have a speech delay. That being said

I believe after watching DS16 he struggled; we probably should have held him back in Kindergarten; but, I am not sorry we did not. He did catch up--he is an average student; except he refuses to try... if he would crack a book he would be an "A", "B" student...
that is a very personal decision for you but I do believe this make your decision with your husband now within this next two years...
I do not believe in holding a child back in later years it takes away from their self-esteem. DS16's second grade teacher told me he would be held back that year in Sept. I taught him to read at home and with the help of other teachers in the school. He has succeeded in school through the years... this is the first year he is actually failing and it is because he was to lazy to turn in a project worth 100 pts in English..

ADD: DS16 and DS2 were both premature and very tiny for their age; DS16 caught up to his friends around 3/4 grade

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi! 1st grade teacher here

I would wait & discuss your concerns with his preschool teacher next winter/spring. If you value her opinion & believe she's a good teacher, her advice will be very important in your decision.

 

[2poohbears]

I agree with those who suggested you hold off on really making a decision until next year, when you'll need to. Talk with your child's preschool teacher - he/she will have the knowledge base of where your child needs to be for Kindergarten readiness. You'll also be amazed by the changes that will take place in your child over the next year. They absorb so much in such a short amount of time, and they are still refining their motor skills in pre-k.

I'm not a fan of holding children back because they'll be the youngest in the class. I think it's really more a matter of whether they are socially and physically ready (fine and gross motor skills) for Kindergarten. Just a few months can make a big difference...you may find that he's ready by next summer, or you may feel that he needs more time. don't stress about it...you'll make the right decision when the time comes.

 

[susykt4]

My daughter's b-day is July 1. She's one of the youngest in her class. I don't regret sending her to K just after her 5th b-day because she was social and reading, etc. She's not gifted or anything, but if I had held her back another year she would have been completely bored in K.

My son's b-day is Nov 8. I am SOOOO glad he had an extra year before starting K. He's currently in K and struggling with reading/writing. He's just not interested! Obviously, he missed the cutoff and there was no decision, but if his birthday was in July I would have kept him back another year.

Definitely wait to make the decision. Kids change so much in a year! You'll know what's best when the time comes.

 

[MichelleVW]

My mom was a third grade teacher and her recommendation would be to hold him back. Especially if he was small.

I remember a little girl in DD18's kindergarten class, she was so much younger than the rest of the kids and seemed to have a much harder time than the other kids.

 

[HeatherC]

I'm a mom who waited. My son's b'day is Aug 23 and the cutoff was Sept. 1. We have full day kindergarten and there was no way he could have handled it emotionally at the time.

He is now in 4th grade and all I can say is ....boy am I glad I waited.

He is the middle child and just tends to develop at a slower rate than my 2 daughters. But...when he does do something at his own pace he excels.

My concern at the time was not really kindergarten even. I kept thinking that as he gets older that extra year of maturity would give him an advantage in helping him make smart choices and maybe having a little more common sense when dealing with peer pressure.

For us, this was the right choice. Every teacher he has had has told us that this was the right decision. He is just more confident in his abilities and has become more of a leader than a follower of the pack as a result. He also has an easier time now understanding a lot of the school material that other kids who are younger in his class are beginning to struggle with.

I think you have to consider your own child and his abilities and personality and developmental level.

Now my younger daughter who is in second grade could have literally started kindergarten at the age of 4 and would be fine.

Every kid is different and what works for one doesn't always work for another.


Good luck to you in your decision. They grow so fast!!!!

 

[WantToGoNow]

My son is in 2nd grade this year and now I wish I had held him back. He has a May birthday (last Friday) and is one of the younger kids in the class. He was more than ready for K academically, he was actually somewhat bored during that year because he already knew everything they were learning - which I think might have caused him to start out school a little lazy (he didn't have to work). He breezed through 1st grade. He has struggled though somewhat in 2nd grade - in reading and writing. He is passing but does not read as fluent as they would like. I'm afraid for him in 3rd grade.

My dd turned 5 in December and will be entering K in the fall. She has been attending Preschool since last August and her teachers assure me that she is ready for K.

 

[pyrxtc]

My youngest has a late birthday, September 27th with a Sept 30th cut-off date. He is just finishing up Kinder this year. He loves it, is not lagging behind and is in the top percentage of the kids. He would have been totally bored being home another year. He never went to pre-K or any type of school.

My youngest brother has a Sept 2nd birthday, my mom changed it to Sept 1st so he could go to school that year. He was a straight A student all his life and flew thru college on full scholarship.

I don't believe in holding kids back. I would think about it again next spring and most likely send him to school on time. If he needs more help, he can always repeat Kinder the year after but if the school is as good as my kids, he won't need to.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

About size: My boys are all very small, one of them will be 8 next month and he is smaller than my 5yo and gets asked all the time if he's in K instead of 2nd grade. He does not have issues with other kids bothering him, but he did have to make some allowances, like sitting on his knees in his seat so he could see and his hands are so small that he has trouble with handwriting and has to use smaller pencils. One other thing, the teachers always think he's cute and sweet (he's quiet) so when he does something bad they tend to just talk to him and dismiss it rather than punishing him.

I have another son who is 11 now, his b-day is Sept 9 and the cutoff was Sept 1st so he started school a year later. I really wish I could've sent him, he is so far ahead of his peers, he has been every year and he gets really bored in class. He spends alot of time helping the other students and it irritates him because he's not challenged. This year they finally put him in a gifted program and he's still bored, but he does like his teacher. There was never any question for me, though, I could tell at age 4 that he was ready to start school and I knew he would excel if they would let him. Now he has a tendency to get lazy about school work because it's so easy he gets the attitude that he shouldn't have to do it because he already knows how. He is also more mature than his friends and kids in his class and when he's out of school he gravitates more toward older kids because they "get" him.

 

[Aristomommy]

One year can make a huge difference in maturity and readiness. DS turned 4 in January and he has now been in preschool for one year. He will be 5y 7 mo when he starts Kindergarten. I also have a DD10 who starter Kindergarten at 4y 9mo and did well. I wouldn't worry about years down the road, since it's impossible to know what that may bring. I would suggest enrolling your child in a preschool program that you trust and ask the teacher in the winter time for a suggestion.

Your area may have more young kids or redshirted kids than usual, and that can also make a difference. Our area parents send kids when they are supposed to, but there are a few kids in each class that were held back. Around here reshirting is frowned upon by schools unless there is a developmental reason, but your area may be different.

 

[MichelleVW]

My youngest has a late birthday, September 27th with a Sept 30th cut-off date. He is just finishing up Kinder this year. He loves it, is not lagging behind and is in the top percentage of the kids. He would have been totally bored being home another year. He never went to pre-K or any type of school.

My youngest brother has a Sept 2nd birthday, my mom changed it to Sept 1st so he could go to school that year. He was a straight A student all his life and flew thru college on full scholarship.

I don't believe in holding kids back. I would think about it again next spring and most likely send him to school on time. If he needs more help, he can always repeat Kinder the year after but if the school is as good as my kids, he won't need to.

I think making them repeat Kindergarten is a lot worse than starting them a year later. I know I would feel pretty bad about myself if I "failed" kindergarten.

I knew kids that started really young and did fine, but I also know a bunch of people that hated being the youngest, and some that just weren't ready.

 

[taitai]

I honestly don't know anyone with boys who has NOT waited an extra year. I think boys need the extra time. They just mature so much slower than girls. I don't see what the harm is in waiting. They are in school for so long anyway, what is one more year?

We held all three of our guys back and don't regret for an instant. They are thriving in school now.

taitai

 

[K and K's Mommy]

My DD is an August birthday, and I was so thankful Indiana's cutoff is Aug. 1 so I didn't have to make this decision. In my area the trend is to definitely hold back kids with summer birthdays, especially boys.

I was the youngest in my class, and I don't think I caught up maturity wise until about eighth grade. I always made good grades so academics wasn't an issue. Being 15 while everyone else was 16 wasn't fun either. My parents did let me date and drive around with my friends so that helped me from feeling totally excluded.

I am still very good friends with my high school friends, and in two years they will all turn 40, and I won't! So, finally, being the youngest has an advantage for me! (And I say that as a joke. As I said earlier, I've been fine since about 13.)

 

[TKL SHOP]

I am glad I didn't have to make that decision either, dd birthday is in Oct, and the cutoff is sept 1 here. So, she will be almost six when she starts K, which is great for her, she went to preschool and Pre-k, and now I feel she is ready. If she were a summer baby and not fully matured and emotionally ready for K, I would not send her either. My SIL held her son back this year from going to K, he will be 6 in June, and start K in the fall with dd. I think it all depends on your child.

 

[Joyful3Heart]

I would say it depends on your child. If you wait the extra year, you are definitely in the majority. My ds5 will be finishing up Kindergarten in June, and turning 6 in early July and I believe he is the youngest in his class. I was very conflicted about whether or not to send him at 5, but he is very social and did well on his readiness testing/screening. If he had not done so well, I was ready to wait another year. Every child matures at a different rate, however. I have a much younger sister who started when she was 6 and still didn't acclimate to school til almost 3rd grade. Getting input from other sources such as his preschool teacher (and all of us on the DIS )is great but keep in mind that no one knows your child as well as you do. Trust yourself, you'll make the right decision, good luck!

 

[tammy1210]

I think you'll have a good idea about it next year at this time - I'd mention it to the preschool teacher in the Fall and they'll be able to guide you if you're not sure next Spring. I held my dd back this past year - our cut-off is October 16th - her birthday was 10/12 - I just felt that she was not ready - however, if it had been my son - I probably would have sent him, because he was much more socially ready and trying to learn everything on his own - I didn't have that problem with him because has a May birthday, but it showed me a difference in kids - and not always based on gender. Don't stress about it - you'll make the right decision - and remember, you'll gets unsolicited advice no matter what you decide ( I still do), but there's no right or wrong answer - it's different for every child and you know best for yours!

 

[luvmy3jewels]

My son has an end of Sept b-day and my dh and I decided to hold him back a year before starting Kindergarten. We made this decision with the recommendation of his pre-school teacher and based upon his motor skills development and maturity.

We haven't regretted making this decision at all. DS is finishing up K right now and has really thrived this year. I can't believe the difference we have seen between last year and this year.

I always recommend to base your decision on your child not a date. If you think he is ready to handle it, then by all means let him go. But if you have any doubts, talk with his preschool teacher and she can give you a good idea on whether she thinks he is ready.

 

[DVCBELLE]

I held my son back and here it is the normal thing to do - I know many moms who sent their sons on and now wish they hadn't b/c so many people hold their kids back that now their sons are a full year younger than many of the kids in their grade.

In terms of sports and driving and dating - I think this will be a huge factor as they get older. My sister held my nephew back and now he is at the top of his class - he would have done well anyway but now he has more confidence, maturity and does better.

I am an August birthday who went on and I always seemed to have younger friends rather than kids in my own grade.

Our preschool teachers were not allowed to make a reccomendation here - but once I made it they all told me I made the right one.