I know I do it to myself, but...

[usd2bmd]

So my birthday is this weekend and (to me at least) my brithday has always been a big deal. I come from a large family and growing up my birthday was been "overshadowed" on more than one occassion by a siblings high school graduation. When you are young (to some anyway) that is a big deal.

So I have always wanted my birthday to be kind of a big deal. I am not talking huge parties and all kinds of festivities but more along the lines of acknowledging that it actually exists.

Now I know what I am about to say seems trivial but I just need to vent.

In my office whenever anyone has a birthday we decorate their cubes. The area I sit has five people total and we have in the past decorated everyone's cube on or as close to their birthday as possible.

So I can't help but feel a little slighted to come in to work this morning and see nothing.

Like I said I know that this is trivial and my issue and my baggage from childhood.

 

[njmom47]

So my birthday is this weekend and (to me at least) my brithday has always been a big deal. I come from a large family and growing up my birthday was been "overshadowed" on more than one occassion by a siblings high school graduation. When you are young (to some anyway) that is a big deal.

So I have always wanted my birthday to be kind of a big deal. I am not talking huge parties and all kinds of festivities but more along the lines of acknowledging that it actually exists.

Now I know what I am about to say seems trivial but I just need to vent.

In my office whenever anyone has a birthday we decorate their cubes. The area I sit has five people total and we have in the past decorated everyone's cube on or as close to their birthday as possible.

So I can't help but feel a little slighted to come in to work this morning and see nothing.

Like I said I know that this is trivial and my issue and my baggage from childhood.

I don't think it's trivial. Everyone wants to know they are loved, thought of, appreciated. And birthdays happen every year; graduations don't, so I could see how your birthday was overshadowed. That doesn't make your feelings less valid.
I still want to celebrate my birthday in a big way. My family barely acknowledges it, except for my mom. We do birthdays here at our office though. Usually on a special birthday (50th for example) there's a big to-do. But once a month we celebrate everyone's birthday for the month.
I'm sending you a Happy Birthday

 

[java]

Happy Birthday! Go buy yourself a balloon!

 

[christineann]

Happy Birthday!

 

[RunningGirl]

I get it. Not a big deal in the scheme of things, but it still stings.

So here are some decorations for you:



and Happy Birthday!!

 

[Lionqueen2]

Happy Birthday!!

 

[HM]

Happy Birthday! I hope your day goes better from this point on!

Are you the one that usually instigates decorating for the other birthdays in your office? If so, I can see how it was easy the others forgot. Did you talk about your upcoming birthday beforehand?

I say this as someone that knows all of my family members birthdays, but can't remember any of my DHs families birthdays or any of my coworkers birthdays. I have to be reminded for the last two groups.

Maybe you should tell your other four coworkers about your disappointment. I'm sure they'll feel awful they forgot....and make it up to you in some way.

 

[Wendy31]

First, Happy Birthday!! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Regarding your co-workers, did they know it was your birthday? Have they decorated your cube in the past?

Is there something going on in the office (a big meeting, important "guests", etc.) where someone might have decided that it'd be a good idea maybe not to decorate your cube because of outside events?

Does your birthday start a new round of birthdays? Meaning, last year, for everyone's birthday, the cubes were decorated, but, maybe, this year (starting w/ your birthday), they're doing something else?

The day's not over yet, maybe they have a special lunch planned for you!

 

[Sabeking]

Happy Birthday!

 

[Disneychix]

Happy Birthday OP!

And I hear ya on being overlooked-It was my birthday the other day. It was another co-worker's birthday in our row but he has a different manager. His manager gave him donuts! I got nothing-to add insult to injury, my own manager complained that his manager celebrated birthdays and we don't! Ha!

 

[Wishing on a star]

yes, HAPPY, HAPPY, WONDERFUL, BIRTHDAY!!!!!!


Given your story, while it isn't the biggest deal in the world... I can see how might feel, and I wouldn't call that 'trivial'.

PS: I have had enough birthdays now (which, like you, happen at a time where my birthday was often overshadowed) I tend to want to ignore them!!!! No more years-older for me!!!!


I just wanted to say that sometimes things change... people change and mature, maybe there are some different people, a different dynamic, around you workplace????

Remember, I totally send you hugs... I understand... And your feelings are not trivial in any way. I just hope that it might help to understand that to some people... older more professional people... the 'decorate' thing might seem a little too much, or begin to feel a bit immature???

Sounds like you work with a larger group of people, and I can see that, maybe in some way, something that started out being 'FUN', can start to feel like an obligation... (Ohhhh, we have to do so-and-so's office space, and we just did one a few weeks ago... and so-and-so is coming up....)

Please don't take it too personally!!!!
I probably isn't 'you'.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

 

[ronandannette]

Happy Birthday (it's my DH's 60th today too, which is being pretty much entirely overshadowed by DS's high school graduation events that are also taking place today).

By any chance are YOU the one that drives the cube decorating and other birthday recognitions? If so, it's likely the idea never crossed anybody else's mind - they're used to having you be in charge of all that. Sorry.

 

[kathie859]

OP----I get it, too, and don't think of it as "trivial". As I get older, I learned that if I wanted something (i.e., an acknowledgement of my bday, anniversary, whatever) that I needed to do some advance informing of those involved. Do you remember in grade school (back in the old days) when the birthday child would bring a treat to school for their classmates? I'd buy a dozen pretty cookies or doughnuts or candy and announce my birthday celebration has officially begun. Make your own party!!!!!!

Happy Birthday!!

 

[minkydog]

Happy birthday!

My DH and kids never remember my birthday, so I help them. I circle the date on the kitchen calendar in red marker. About a month ahead I start announcing the upcoming "national holiday". About a week ahead I start humming the happy birthday song. Then, on my big say I act all surprised that they remembered.

Now, I wouldn't do all this at work, I think. However, I have been known to take coworkers to lunch to celebrate my birthday. No presents. Just a lot of fun for me and the ladies.

 

[mom2rtk]

Happy Birthday!!

Now go take matters into your own hands and do something nice for the birthday girl!

 

[lynxstch]

from your DIS Family!

 

[piperdown]

I've been in your shoes. My birthday is near Christmas, during the time that everyone is busy with shopping and holiday parties. In my childhood, on more than one occasion my birthday present was picked from the wrapped presents under the tree.

Some years are worse than others. My 40th was especially hard. In fact, there's an old thread here where I vented and threw a pity party for myself.

A few things that have helped me. Try to understand that no one is purposely being hurtful; people get busy in their daily lives and mistakes happen. Also, you have to be in charge of your own happiness. If you rely on others to make you happy, you'll always be disappointed.

However, it does really suck when things like this happen.

 

[njmom47]

Happy birthday!

My DH and kids never remember my birthday, so I help them. I circle the date on the kitchen calendar in red marker. About a month ahead I start announcing the upcoming "national holiday". About a week ahead I start humming the happy birthday song. Then, on my big say I act all surprised that they remembered.
Now, I wouldn't do all this at work, I think. However, I have been known to take coworkers to lunch to celebrate my birthday. No presents. Just a lot of fun for me and the ladies.

Minkydog, this made me
I think I'm stealing this idea.
Although it will be only dh and possibly dd#2 and myself living in the house at the time of my next birthday.

 

[Bounce_Tigger]

I don't make a huge deal out of my birthday, but I do like to be celebrated. I also have a knack for recalling dates so I remember EVERYONE's birthday/anniversary/etc. My family always acknowledges my bday, but my friends and coworkers tend not to remember these things. I don't fault them. I just make my own celebrations. Much like a previous poster, I remind them in advance - "My birthday is next Friday (mine actually is the 27th). Lets get drinks after work/do lunch out of the office" It turns the day into a time with friends for me and doesn't make it a burden for them.

Sometimes I'll even buy myself a treat - flowers, etc and have no shame in telling others that I bought myself a gift. Maybe you could go out at lunch and get cookies/chocolates for the office and share them with coworkers "It's my birthday, so everyone gets a gift!" As with all holidays, I think its more about celebrating with friends rather than having "your day"

Happy Birthday!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Happy Birthday! I hope your day goes better from this point on!

Are you the one that usually instigates decorating for the other birthdays in your office?

I have to say that I wondered that as well.

I know a couple of people who are like this.
These kind of emotional gestures are just more necessary and meaningful to them than they are most other people... (for one of these people in particular.... really too much so.)

Let the 'decorating' go, and go about having yourself a wonderful birthday!!!