I am not ready.

MagicJunkie

Earning My Ears
Joined
May 8, 2003
Thank you to everyone who has posted and shared your stories and advice on the recent threads of daughters who have lost their parents. It has been helpful to read others experiences.
I am a long long time lurker and not a Troll. But the story my recent loss is nearly unbelievable. I will keep my story short, just the facts. I do this mainly for myself. To see it written, to accept it happened, and to glue my heart back together and hope it holds. Tomorrow I must return to work and resume some semblance of normalcy. I am not ready.
I am 41 years old and recently lost both of my parents.
My Mother was diagnosed with recurring endometrial cancer on her spine in May of 2013. Her care was palliative because there was no hope for a cure this time around.
My Father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer shortly after in July. His care was also palliative because the cancer had spread throughout his bones. The largest mass found in the exact spot as my Mothers.
I became the main caregiver to both of them. Months of daily trips to Moffitt Cancer Center, Juggling their various appointments. I have brothers who helped as much as their work schedule would allow. But sometimes it all was overwhelming. I had to quit my job, move in with them and sleep on a pallet in their dining room. (I miss that pallet. From it, I could see Mom in the living room and hear Dad snoring in his bedroom.)
My Mother passed away, with all of her children around her on May 22, 2014.
My Father passed away, with all of his children around him on June 25, 2014.
Tomorrow I must wake up and continue my life. I am not ready. I miss them.
 
I'm so sorry about the loss of your parents. It sounds like this is a very difficult time for you. Your parents are both looking down and you and smiling because you selflessly gave of yourself to care for them.

Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. You will miss your parents for a long time. :hug:
 
Thank you MEK.
One day at a time. That is how I have been living. Each night as the sun sets, I hope for tomorrow to be better.
 
I am truly so very sorry for you loss.

I lost my Mom Feb 5, 2014 and can not imagine losing both parents in a one month span.

My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you and your family.
 
I can't begin to imagine the pain of this double loss.. I say the words I am sorry, but it really isn't enough.. Nothing can be...

Please know this forum is really a good spot for comfort, friendship, support, anything that you may need or want to help you get through the day, a moment, anything at all.. There is no judgement here.. Hugs to you...
 
I've never visited this forum before-

However, I feel the need to post immediately.
Loss is awful-at anytime-at any age.


I just can't imagine the pain you're suffering.
Losing one parent must be awful to lose both so close together is horrific.

Grief counselling has helped by BFF immensely.
It took her a while to make an initial appointment, however, like others have said;
One breath at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time.


Much love and cyber hugs. Xxx
 
I am still healing and trying to live with my sorrow. I posted a link on the community board to the CNN website. They are offering a place to write about those you lost in 2014. I found it helpful and wanted to share. Here is the same link to my blurb. http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1201898 If you are interested or maybe you would like to write your own.
 
I think that was most beautifully written, and straight from the heart.:goodvibes

Keeping you in my thoughts.
 

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