Dad's Not Funny
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2006
I have been an avid reader of trip reports for the past year and greatly enjoy the interesting stories and Disney tips that have been passed on by other DISers. I have been a lurker only up to this point but my DW has been telling me it was just a matter of time until I joined in. The trip reports I have read are all so entertaining. I am not sure I will measure up to the other posts but I hope I can add something to the fun. My family had an interesting experience with our return to WDW last fall after a long hiatus. A lot of natural disasters presented themselves along the way but stubbornness and pre-paid tickets won the day.
The players in this Gulf Coast saga are:
DW homeschooling mom of 3, an internet forums junkie about homeschooling, ex- Navy nuke and self admitted A+ type personality with a taste for the better things in life
DS12 a bright, fairly mature boy with a love of Boy Scouts and anything associated with it; enjoys thrill rides, airplanes, the Monorail and video games; personally responsible for ending our last Disney trip in epic fashion
DS9 a smaller and faster version of his brother but not quite as daring with new rides; very competitive in everything else he does; wants to be a Navy Seal or a Light Saber Inventor; the personal arbiter of car trip license plate bingo wars and whether jokes Dad makes are funny (as a rule they are deemed NOT funny)
DD6 The princess; very petite; very talkative to the point you wonder when she takes a breath to keep on going; pink and sparkly are her favorite colors; on a mission to keep up with the brothers
Me a closet WDW nut who had been dormant for many years. Pleased to have had a relapse of OCDPD in the past year. I had been to WDW several times as a child; went again when in college on spring break and when stationed in Orlando at Naval Nuclear Power School. DW and I have been twice in the past 18 yrs. since then with the last attempt in 1997 so traumatic that it put us off WDW until now (more on that later).
We live in Texas far away from our families on both sides. Thus most of our vacation time for many years has been traveling to see grand parents for grand kid worship sessions. One set lives in SC and the other in WA State so it is no small task to pack up and go see either of them. There has not been much time or energy left for fun family trips after those multi-thousand mile drives and the stress associated with in-law visits. DW usually begins to refer to the kids as those people shortly after leaving. It doesnt get any better being in close, unyielding contact for days with the usual bickering and relentless questioning kids always produce. DW usually is ready for some time in seclusion in a monastery when she gets back home but will settle for some margaritas. We have compensated for this limitation with annual passes to the Six Flags parks and the kids and I have gone many times each year (usually without Mom who considers the break time an E ticket ride in itself). This is where our kids have learned to love doing rides and going to water parks. Each time we went I was reminded of WDW and how much nicer and better themed it is than Six Flags. But it was closer and cheaper so we stayed in the familiar rut.
Last spring the marketing allure of the Happiest Celebration events began to waft over me and make me yearn to go back to WDW with the family again. I believed the family could have a great time there as I had as a child. We still had some days left on tickets from a past trip and they might not be good forever. We needed to use them up and have some fun doing it. But could we no it wasnt the money (although the bills do get pretty breath taking and provide a Tower of Terror type shock when viewed in total) it wasnt the time as we home school so we can take a week off anytime and just make it up in the summer .IT was Did the CMs remember DS12 at WDW and was he on a watch list after his initial visit? It was also wondering if DW and I could survive another round if disaster occurred again.
The disaster trip seemed like just yesterday in some ways. We had gone to WDW on a trip with friends and their kids in 1997. It was done as a surprise for our then 5 yr. old and his 2 yr. old sibling. They were very excited to go and we worked to expose them to Disney characters and stories to understand the park and rides. We were planning to be there for 5 days. On the first day of the trip our friends wanted to go to EPCOT. Their kids were much older and saw MK as less interesting. We went along as we knew there was plenty for our kids to see as well. The day started out pretty well. It wasnt too hot but the park was crowded with spring break families. The lines were long so after a few hours and a couple of shows, we went into see the Making of Me and its pavilion. It was cooler, pretty kid friendly (or so we thought) and not so crowded. While in there, we saw the Body Wars ride line. Both DW and I loved that ride on past trips and began to talk about it. DS picked up on the conversation and as a BIG BOY said he wanted to ride it. We said no, it was too scary. He showed us he was tall enough to ride it we said no. He told us he wouldnt cry we said no. We left the pavilion to brave the crowds and change the subject. But DS is much like his mother and had become obsessed with the idea and would not let it go. We were young parents then. We didnt have the experience to handle the situation. After all, he was our DS and such a good and grown up child. If he said he could do it and had been warned of the risk of being scared by Body Wars and still wanted it so bad then who were we to deny him? I am sure most Greek tragedies are based on similar folly.
So we went back to Body Wars. My wife went in line with DS while I stayed outside to entertain our toddler. I was sitting with him playing with some of the video displays when I heard the sound of a child shrieking at the top of its lungs. It was a familiar sound. I gathered up DS9 (then a 2 yr. old) to see if it was his brother. Coming out of the exit of Body Wars was my DW with DS draped around her neck in a death grip. He was bright red and making tears and noise at a record setting volume even for him. She was trying to calm him and reminding him he had promised it would be OK if it was a scary ride but he would have none of it. DS was ALL DONE, ALL DONE, ALL DONE. His younger brother soon began sympathetic whimpering so we had a full scale dual melt down in progress. Both of our boys were capable of long, dramatic and sometimes terrifying crying jags at this age. This one was certainly Olympic class. I am sure that the people around us were either horrified or greatly amused depending on their perspective and past experiences. We just knew it was time to go. Lets get them out of the park and calmed down. We left a trail of tears and staring strangers all the way out of the park. Tomorrow is another day we agreed. DW would likely also have her hearing back by then as well.
We went out to the van and made our way back to the condo. Along the way we plied the boys with offers of drinks, sweets and free cars when they were 16 .anything to stop the screaming. Eventually they calmed down and we put them in the pool to cool off and rehydrate. Our friends came back later and consoled us that we had just gotten off to a bad start. We would certainly not let DS fool us again and the rest of the trip would be fine. They were more experienced parents so we believed them. I think it was just wishful thinking with hindsight. DS had told us he was ALL DONE.
The next day was planned for MGM. The older kids were still setting the agenda. We got our kids up and fed and set out for the park with high hopes. We still had 4 days left on our tickets and plenty of fun ahead of us. We made it to the parking lot with no problems. The tram came along to pick us up. So far so good. The tram is fun isnt it boys! we said and they agreed. They loved trains and busses and wheeled things in general. The tram bounced along making more stops and hope grew within us. It was going to be a good day. Then the tram finished its rounds and came up to the entry gate to drop us off. We gathered the boys and got off. DS5 looked down the sidewalk and saw the ticket booths. He suddenly realized what was going on we were back at the park! And he was ALL DONE! He threw himself on the concrete and picked up where he had left off at EPCOT. Tears and screams galore flowed on to the pavement. DS2 joined in as if he had ridden Body Wars himself. Our friends decided it was time to move on alone after a few minutes as it was clear we were at the end of the road. We slinked back on to a tram and went to our car. The tram calmed the boys down but we parents were in turmoil. How do we have fun at WDW with these two traumatized kids? Will they be scarred for life? Will a CM confiscate our tickets and ask us not to bring these heathens back again?
We were desperate. We needed a good time for the boys or it was time to saddle up on the trail to TX today. In thinking about our options, we decided to go for broke with the ultimate weapon of kid pleasure. We drove to DTD and went to Lego World. The boys love Legos and it was a success. We stayed there for 4 hours .partly out of seeing them happy and partly out of fear of them melting down when we wanted to leave. It was not the Disney fun DW and I had envisioned at the start but happy was good. The Lego store people began to look at us funny over time but we ignored them. The boys had taken control of the day and there were an infinite number of Lego things they had not built yet. Eventually they got hungry and we made our escape. We went back to the condo and the pool to rethink our plan. It was make or break time for WDW.
We hadnt been to MK yet. We were sure they would love it if we could just get past the gate screaming thing with them. We talked with DS5 about MK. He didnt want to go. He just wanted to play Legos all week. We tried all the tricks in the parent book promises of toys, food and fun if he would give it another chance. No dice. He was ALL DONE! How about the monorail? Would he just like to ride the monorail and look at the MK from outside? His train obsession won out and he agreed to this approach. We waited until mid day when most people were already in the park. No need to put on a show for a big crowd if they melted down again. We rode the loop once and the boys were excited and happy with it. We went around again. It was a new peak in our Disney trip from a fun level. Why did they build the parks at all the boys thought? This was just fine riding the monorail. I had read that you could ride up front if you worked with a CM and we tried that. It was nirvana for the boys and pretty great for us to see them so happy. But then it came to an end after a final loop of the track. We asked if they wanted to go ride in the MK rides. There were trains in there. NO! they said. So we went back to the condo pool.
We decided it was ALL DONE at this point. We went back that night to watch the fireworks from outside the park and then headed home. We still had 4 unused days left on our tickets. As we drove into the night, we said we would be back to use them some day when the boys were older. I am not sure either of us believed it though. We did not talk of family vacations again for many years
Next installment (If anyone likes this one) - Long term planning and re-programming to try WDW again
The players in this Gulf Coast saga are:
DW homeschooling mom of 3, an internet forums junkie about homeschooling, ex- Navy nuke and self admitted A+ type personality with a taste for the better things in life
DS12 a bright, fairly mature boy with a love of Boy Scouts and anything associated with it; enjoys thrill rides, airplanes, the Monorail and video games; personally responsible for ending our last Disney trip in epic fashion
DS9 a smaller and faster version of his brother but not quite as daring with new rides; very competitive in everything else he does; wants to be a Navy Seal or a Light Saber Inventor; the personal arbiter of car trip license plate bingo wars and whether jokes Dad makes are funny (as a rule they are deemed NOT funny)
DD6 The princess; very petite; very talkative to the point you wonder when she takes a breath to keep on going; pink and sparkly are her favorite colors; on a mission to keep up with the brothers
Me a closet WDW nut who had been dormant for many years. Pleased to have had a relapse of OCDPD in the past year. I had been to WDW several times as a child; went again when in college on spring break and when stationed in Orlando at Naval Nuclear Power School. DW and I have been twice in the past 18 yrs. since then with the last attempt in 1997 so traumatic that it put us off WDW until now (more on that later).
We live in Texas far away from our families on both sides. Thus most of our vacation time for many years has been traveling to see grand parents for grand kid worship sessions. One set lives in SC and the other in WA State so it is no small task to pack up and go see either of them. There has not been much time or energy left for fun family trips after those multi-thousand mile drives and the stress associated with in-law visits. DW usually begins to refer to the kids as those people shortly after leaving. It doesnt get any better being in close, unyielding contact for days with the usual bickering and relentless questioning kids always produce. DW usually is ready for some time in seclusion in a monastery when she gets back home but will settle for some margaritas. We have compensated for this limitation with annual passes to the Six Flags parks and the kids and I have gone many times each year (usually without Mom who considers the break time an E ticket ride in itself). This is where our kids have learned to love doing rides and going to water parks. Each time we went I was reminded of WDW and how much nicer and better themed it is than Six Flags. But it was closer and cheaper so we stayed in the familiar rut.
Last spring the marketing allure of the Happiest Celebration events began to waft over me and make me yearn to go back to WDW with the family again. I believed the family could have a great time there as I had as a child. We still had some days left on tickets from a past trip and they might not be good forever. We needed to use them up and have some fun doing it. But could we no it wasnt the money (although the bills do get pretty breath taking and provide a Tower of Terror type shock when viewed in total) it wasnt the time as we home school so we can take a week off anytime and just make it up in the summer .IT was Did the CMs remember DS12 at WDW and was he on a watch list after his initial visit? It was also wondering if DW and I could survive another round if disaster occurred again.
The disaster trip seemed like just yesterday in some ways. We had gone to WDW on a trip with friends and their kids in 1997. It was done as a surprise for our then 5 yr. old and his 2 yr. old sibling. They were very excited to go and we worked to expose them to Disney characters and stories to understand the park and rides. We were planning to be there for 5 days. On the first day of the trip our friends wanted to go to EPCOT. Their kids were much older and saw MK as less interesting. We went along as we knew there was plenty for our kids to see as well. The day started out pretty well. It wasnt too hot but the park was crowded with spring break families. The lines were long so after a few hours and a couple of shows, we went into see the Making of Me and its pavilion. It was cooler, pretty kid friendly (or so we thought) and not so crowded. While in there, we saw the Body Wars ride line. Both DW and I loved that ride on past trips and began to talk about it. DS picked up on the conversation and as a BIG BOY said he wanted to ride it. We said no, it was too scary. He showed us he was tall enough to ride it we said no. He told us he wouldnt cry we said no. We left the pavilion to brave the crowds and change the subject. But DS is much like his mother and had become obsessed with the idea and would not let it go. We were young parents then. We didnt have the experience to handle the situation. After all, he was our DS and such a good and grown up child. If he said he could do it and had been warned of the risk of being scared by Body Wars and still wanted it so bad then who were we to deny him? I am sure most Greek tragedies are based on similar folly.
So we went back to Body Wars. My wife went in line with DS while I stayed outside to entertain our toddler. I was sitting with him playing with some of the video displays when I heard the sound of a child shrieking at the top of its lungs. It was a familiar sound. I gathered up DS9 (then a 2 yr. old) to see if it was his brother. Coming out of the exit of Body Wars was my DW with DS draped around her neck in a death grip. He was bright red and making tears and noise at a record setting volume even for him. She was trying to calm him and reminding him he had promised it would be OK if it was a scary ride but he would have none of it. DS was ALL DONE, ALL DONE, ALL DONE. His younger brother soon began sympathetic whimpering so we had a full scale dual melt down in progress. Both of our boys were capable of long, dramatic and sometimes terrifying crying jags at this age. This one was certainly Olympic class. I am sure that the people around us were either horrified or greatly amused depending on their perspective and past experiences. We just knew it was time to go. Lets get them out of the park and calmed down. We left a trail of tears and staring strangers all the way out of the park. Tomorrow is another day we agreed. DW would likely also have her hearing back by then as well.
We went out to the van and made our way back to the condo. Along the way we plied the boys with offers of drinks, sweets and free cars when they were 16 .anything to stop the screaming. Eventually they calmed down and we put them in the pool to cool off and rehydrate. Our friends came back later and consoled us that we had just gotten off to a bad start. We would certainly not let DS fool us again and the rest of the trip would be fine. They were more experienced parents so we believed them. I think it was just wishful thinking with hindsight. DS had told us he was ALL DONE.
The next day was planned for MGM. The older kids were still setting the agenda. We got our kids up and fed and set out for the park with high hopes. We still had 4 days left on our tickets and plenty of fun ahead of us. We made it to the parking lot with no problems. The tram came along to pick us up. So far so good. The tram is fun isnt it boys! we said and they agreed. They loved trains and busses and wheeled things in general. The tram bounced along making more stops and hope grew within us. It was going to be a good day. Then the tram finished its rounds and came up to the entry gate to drop us off. We gathered the boys and got off. DS5 looked down the sidewalk and saw the ticket booths. He suddenly realized what was going on we were back at the park! And he was ALL DONE! He threw himself on the concrete and picked up where he had left off at EPCOT. Tears and screams galore flowed on to the pavement. DS2 joined in as if he had ridden Body Wars himself. Our friends decided it was time to move on alone after a few minutes as it was clear we were at the end of the road. We slinked back on to a tram and went to our car. The tram calmed the boys down but we parents were in turmoil. How do we have fun at WDW with these two traumatized kids? Will they be scarred for life? Will a CM confiscate our tickets and ask us not to bring these heathens back again?
We were desperate. We needed a good time for the boys or it was time to saddle up on the trail to TX today. In thinking about our options, we decided to go for broke with the ultimate weapon of kid pleasure. We drove to DTD and went to Lego World. The boys love Legos and it was a success. We stayed there for 4 hours .partly out of seeing them happy and partly out of fear of them melting down when we wanted to leave. It was not the Disney fun DW and I had envisioned at the start but happy was good. The Lego store people began to look at us funny over time but we ignored them. The boys had taken control of the day and there were an infinite number of Lego things they had not built yet. Eventually they got hungry and we made our escape. We went back to the condo and the pool to rethink our plan. It was make or break time for WDW.
We hadnt been to MK yet. We were sure they would love it if we could just get past the gate screaming thing with them. We talked with DS5 about MK. He didnt want to go. He just wanted to play Legos all week. We tried all the tricks in the parent book promises of toys, food and fun if he would give it another chance. No dice. He was ALL DONE! How about the monorail? Would he just like to ride the monorail and look at the MK from outside? His train obsession won out and he agreed to this approach. We waited until mid day when most people were already in the park. No need to put on a show for a big crowd if they melted down again. We rode the loop once and the boys were excited and happy with it. We went around again. It was a new peak in our Disney trip from a fun level. Why did they build the parks at all the boys thought? This was just fine riding the monorail. I had read that you could ride up front if you worked with a CM and we tried that. It was nirvana for the boys and pretty great for us to see them so happy. But then it came to an end after a final loop of the track. We asked if they wanted to go ride in the MK rides. There were trains in there. NO! they said. So we went back to the condo pool.
We decided it was ALL DONE at this point. We went back that night to watch the fireworks from outside the park and then headed home. We still had 4 unused days left on our tickets. As we drove into the night, we said we would be back to use them some day when the boys were older. I am not sure either of us believed it though. We did not talk of family vacations again for many years
Next installment (If anyone likes this one) - Long term planning and re-programming to try WDW again
Fun to read your report - yes we want more! 
My old commanding officer used to tell us that the best view of Orlando was seeing it shrink in your rear view mirror if you survived the training class and moved on to the next training base location in the program. I am not sure I agreed then and certainly dont anymore. Orlando is a great place to live and it is never a happy day to leave WDW. But maybe some of DWs initial reaction to my plan is based on remnants of Orlando and Nuke school in her mind.
It was beyond my highest expectations and it made all the struggles of the past weeks worth it. They actually began to refer to each other as Disney clones in the coming days so maybe it is true. But Im not complaining either. Being a bad Disney clone became our buzz word for anyone getting cranky in lines or not getting into the spirit of things at a show or a character meal. The food at the Concourse Steak House was pretty good and we all got indoctrinated into the dining plan three courses concept. Everyone was pretty full at the end of the meal and loaded up on sugar for a run at the MK. 
(that was pretty magical in and of itself). They are really pretty and festive looking in many cases. Another part of the fun is looking at the big bill total at the end of the meal when they charge your credits from the plan off. It is hard not to smile and think I just saved a lot of money having this experience and had fun doing it. Enough rambling but I think those who skip the dining plan are really missing some serious Disney magic. It isnt possible to eat at all the places you want to try on a given trip but that just leaves opportunities to discover new things on your next trip. Our current favorite places are Whispering Canyon, Crystal Palace, Sci-Fi Diner and Wolfgang Puck (DTD). I am looking forward to trying Boma, Ohana, Chef Mickeys, Hollywood and Vine and Cape May Café as well on our next visit. 
DW rode Mission Space once and was sure she was going to need the little bag if she even went in the pre-show again so we did not make her go back (just more time for her shopping away from the broken people yeah!). DS9 did not want to ride Test Track but was eventually talked into it by DS12 who had done it 4 times already in the single rider line. He was not happy to have to do it and the picture of him taken at the end of the ride was almost worth buying just to capture the scowl on his face. DD was just the opposite. She really believed we were going to crash into the wall and was relieved and happy to escape with her life intact. DS9 must have drawn a mental line in the sand at this point for us but we didnt know it. 
I agree with the other reports that say the water parks are some of the best family fun times and should not be skipped on any trip. The water was plenty warm enough in mid Oct. to stay warm on a sunny day.
DW is normally a very reserved person in public. She tries to be cool and calm and keep her cards close to the vest. As the presentation was drawing to a close, DW moved over next to me on the sofa and began rubbing my back and leaning in close to me and smiling her prettiest smile. She was showing all the signs of being very, very aroused on her most basic level and was making sure I knew it
the big ticket shopping level - not the make more Disney clones level ( 
The boys killed things and people for hours. It was a totally blood thirsty time for them
guns, planes, tanks, light sabers
you name it they were using it and aliens were going down. 
The DIS is a regular website visit for me to keep up with things and find out new ideas for our next trip. I am very grateful for the people who run and moderate the website and allow us all to share our obsessions with things Disney.
my broken people in spite of their unfortunate birth defect. We just have to make allowances...don't ya know? Oh and dh? He is most definitely one of the broken people. 
