Humilty

[disney junky]

I think we should teach kids to be humble. I think we often try so hard to give them opportunities, to convince them they are special, that teaching humility becomes really difficult.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I think we should teach kids to be humble. I think we often try so hard to give them opportunities, to convince them they are special, that teaching humility becomes really difficult.

Humility is one if the most important social graces. Reading social cues and being able to relate are all intertwined with humility. There are grown ups I've been around (thankfully not many) that have stuck out like a sore thumb because humility wasn't a strong suit.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Interesting topic. Anything specific spark this post?

We want our children to have confidence in themselves and their abilities so that they can achieve, but we don't want our children to become "special snowflakes".

So what's the "middle ground"?

 

[tina.tina]

I totally agree but it's difficult. My DD(almost 13) is very empathetic and emotionally intelligent. I'm working on my DS(8.5). It's difficult to instill compassion and morals in your children when everyone else around is so selfish.

My sister teaches her kids that no one is more important than them and that they have to stick up for each other. So, when my DS(8.5) says something to her DS(almost 6) her extremely athletic and very strong DS(12.5) thinks it's okay to knock my DS(8.5) down.

My sister told me on Wednesday that she was calling the Superintendent of the School Board because a teacher's aide would not allow her DS(12.5) to go to the bathroom during class and penalized him with silent lunch when he went anyhow. I told her I thought that was a little extreme and why didn't she start with the teacher's aide or the main teacher in the class and she hasn't spoken to me since.

 

[cabanafrau]

It's very challenging trying to teach kids to have self esteem and respect and empathy for others in a culture that shoves win at all costs down their throats.

Used to know someone at our church who continuously gushed to her kids about their being so bright and going on and sickeningly on about how handsome, cute, etc., etc. her son was. The capper for me was whenever her kids were disappointed or she felt like they didn't or might not get a fair shake at something she'd encourage them by reminding them that they were king's kids and therefore entitled and deserving of only the best. She was referencing the belief that as Christians we are children of God. Always made me feel ill,

 

[aaarcher86]

I totally disagree. I much prefer my kids to be bratty jerks with no consideration for others.

 

[dAnconia]

I personally like this quote from Big Bang Theory. It is Sheldon's mom speaking to him, " Now you listen here. I've been telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody else but you can't go around pointing it out."

My daughter is very athletically talented. We try to teach her to be grateful for her gifts and to make the most of them, but to also be aware that others have different abilities and gifts. So yes she should be proud of what she can do, but when a friend shows her that she has just mastered a cartwheel, that is not the time to show her back handspring. It is ok to come home after gymnastics practice and tell us how great she did on a new skill, but she shouldn't go on and on about it to every person she sees and knows.

 

[tina.tina]

I totally disagree. I much prefer my kids to be bratty jerks with no consideration for others.

I genuinely wonder if this is true for many people in the world today. I think my parents are trying to raise my younger brother to be "tougher."

 

[Robinrs]

I couldn't agree more. It's my hand's down FAVORITE attribute of any human being.

Some are just born that way, others you have to train to be that way, either way it's a blessing to the world when they are!

 

[wiigirl]

I personally like this quote from Big Bang Theory. It is Sheldon's mom speaking to him, " Now you listen here. I've been telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody else but you can't go around pointing it out."

My daughter is very athletically talented. We try to teach her to be grateful for her gifts and to make the most of them, but to also be aware that others have different abilities and gifts. So yes she should be proud of what she can do, but when a friend shows her that she has just mastered a cartwheel, that is not the time to show her back handspring. It is ok to come home after gymnastics practice and tell us how great she did on a new skill, but she shouldn't go on and on about it to every person she sees and knows.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

You've got to be very careful in how you teach such a thing.

I was taught to be too humble and to this day I am so uncomfortable accepting praise for a job well done that I can very rarely appreciate the idea that I'm actually GOOD at something.

I'd say that was teaching humility to the extreme.

At the same time, I'm also glad I'm not extremely vain and selfish, though.

Kids these days? It all depends on which kids you see.

 

[firecracker725]

I totally disagree. I much prefer my kids to be bratty jerks with no consideration for others.

Exactly. If anyone dares tell my extra special snowflakes that they're just regular ol' snowflakes, well...I would just give them a piece of my mind.

 

[aaarcher86]

I genuinely wonder if this is true for many people in the world today. I think my parents are trying to raise my younger brother to be "tougher."

Lol well I was just kidding.

I know I'm trying to raise my kids to be tougher than I was. But I don't think being tough means they won't have care and consideration for others. I want them to be the kids that stick up for the bullied kid or go against the norm, but I think to do that they have to be a bit tough.

 

[sam_gordon]

How do you teach them that though?

 

[smitch425]

I make sure my kids get praised when they do something well, but I also tell them that the reason they did so well is because they work hard, not that they are just better than anyone else. They are both very skilled at tae kwon do, and when they see someone struggling with something in class, they are right there trying to help them out. They know that we love them no matter what whether it is TKD, grades, etc. I think a lot of parents put too much pressure on their kids to be perfect, and that can be just as damaging as those who have parents that don't enforce any type of rules. You have to find the balance that works for each child. Even within the same family of children, you have to adjust based on their individual personalities.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I prefer Klingon humility. "But what good is it to achieve a glorious victory if you can't boast of it over a barrel of blood wine?"

 

[aaarcher86]

How do you teach them that though?

Lashings

 

[Gumbo4x4]

How do you teach them that though?

Regular beatings.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Lashings

****! Too slow

 

[eliza61]

How do you teach them that though?

One way is by showing and telling our kids that we love them no matter what, that their talents make them unique but everyone has some thing to offer in life.

I have one very special memory of a professional athlete.

I went to Pitt back during the time when not only were we winning national championships but the steelers were also winning. the town is a very "football" town and athletes were some times treated as stars. Anyway long story short, I was invited home for a barbeque with one particular quarterback who was known for being a regular nice guy (he went on to the pros). We arrived at his house and his mother asked him to clean the bathrooms before company came. I remember mentioning this and his mother seemed shocked. She said "i hope he doesn't think he's too good to clean up when he's on campus".

I think his close knit family constantly remind him that is self worth was not in being a football star.