Hugs and advice

[ladybugmommy84]

I didn't think it would hurt me this much bit my daughter's dad forgot her birthday. I had to remind him. On top of that he didn't show up to her birthday because his girlfriend whoy daughter constantly comes to me or my mom or sister and complains about couldn't come.

I feel that it's a time and place for that. He has a daughter with the girlfriend and when they throw a party for her he doesn't want me to bring my daughter someone else have to bring her.

I can't believe he missed her party over a girlfriend.

 

[Christine]

I'm sorry to hear this. Your poor daughter. My parents were not together after I was about 2 years old. After their separation, my contact with my father was very sporadic due to my father's immaturity and drug problems (unknown at the time). He was very young and it was all about him. There were many times my father "stood me up" for whatever reason. But then when he saw me, he was wonderful.

Your daughter's father sounds very immature and it seems like the relationship that you have with each other hasn't really settled down. It's really a shame for your daughter that he cannot put his personal feelings aside.

 

[mommasita]

I am sorry. There is absolutely no excuse for this behavior. You can't change people, but what you can do is concentrate on the family your daughter does have. You can never be her father, but you can me a lovely family without him, trust me on this.

I too had a father similar to Christine's. At 47, he STILL calls a day or so before or AFTER my Birthday, but heck he calls now. I will never forget everything my Mother did to maintain a family for us..

 

[Princesca]

I have to say... one of the most healing things for me was admitting to myself (when I was an adult) that my father is a good man, but wasn't a good dad. He has gotten better in his elder years - more affectionate, etc, but it was incredibly liberating to be able to admit to myself what my dad does well, and what he doesn't, and to know that that's okay for me to say and think.