Hucifer and Dan's flipping huge trip report *Last 3 days/Epilogue! 10/9, pgs 36-38*

[DISUNC]

DisUnc, just the bathroom at Rafiki's Planet Watch makes those noises that I know about. And just the women's, for that matter, since I didn't wander into the men's room. ...Great responsibility, aye? Just trying to reel it out, one part at a time. This sucker is taking me months and months to write it so I don't want to catch up too quickly. But yeah, I guess I do like to tease a little.

Teasing is Fine!

Now about this bathroom thing???? I wonder if indeed they were animal noises you were hearing. I will however check out the mens room....and dutifully report back my findings! If nothing in the mens room....I dunno.....may just possibley have to sneak into the ladies room. I have been reading threads here on Dis about woman who insist on taking their 16 year old son into the womans room. It seems so 'normal' to some of our fellow Disers! I guess they wouldn't mind too much a 46 year old guy entering the uncharted territories of the Ladies room. I'll just close my eyes and feel my way to a stall! "Pardon me! Excuse me! OOPS! Sorry Lady...ooooooohhhhhhh you are a patient of Dr. Levine, the reknowned Plastic surgeon...My hands could recognize his work anywhere!"...
Take your time......Your past post (try saying that 5 X fast) proves your true dedication to the art of Trip reporting! Wow you are like Brenda Starr!
Yes! GREAT Responsibility! You ain't no Hack!

 

[foolishmortal]

Love the reports.....and I see your answer to one of the "Are you Evil" questions..



you ant killer!

 

[hucifer]

Love the reports.....and I see your answer to one of the "Are you Evil" questions..


you ant killer!

 

[hucifer]

Part 3. Dan, do you get the feeling that everyone is staring at us?

In the room, we shed our clothing. Is it because we’re going to get nasty in the middle of the day? Uh no, sorry to disappoint….it’s because it was time for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party! And we had costumes to put on! Woo HOO!

I slipped on my Gryffindor attire: shirt, tie, pants, robe, wand, wig, and glasses. The scar is the best part of the costume because it looks amazingly realistic. I draw a lightning bolt on my forehead with lip liner and apply scar solution over it. The stuff smells like wart remover but does a great job of puckering up the skin and making the dark line really stand out. It’s quite impressive, really. It is so realistic that Dan said he had a hard time looking at it because it grossed him out.

Yep, that's me.

Dan put on his homemade caveman outfit. He made this costume 10 years ago when he was 85 pounds heavier, so he also brought several safety pins. After lots of pinning, he made it work. Dan wiped mascara on his exposed arms, legs, and face, and rubbed it into his skin so that it would look “dirty.” Dirt-dirty, not pervert-dirty. He doesn’t need any help looking more pervert-dirty. Then he put on his wig/beard. It used to have a mustache, but he has long since cut it off because it “got in the way with drinking,” god forbid. Back in his bachelor days. Yep, he’s had this costume for a long time. Anyway, it left him looking rather Amish.

“You look like an Amish caveman,” I told him.

Amish...perhaps not the look he was going for.

“Shut it,” he said, but had no retort because my Harry Potter costume totally rocked.

“Let’s go A.C.,” I said in my worst Cockney accent.

“Ugh,” he answered.

As we were walking through the Shades of Green lobby, to say that we got a lot of looks from fellow guests would be an understatement. When you’re in costume, etiquette takes a backseat to staring, pointing, giggling, and whispering as if you’re not there. And you hear a lot of hushed “It’s Harry Potter and some sort of Amish Caveman!” all around you.

“Allo,” I said to the people, raising my wand in a salute.

Dan said, “Ugh.”

We walk over to the Poly monorail as casually as possible. (No alligators today.) It makes it all the funnier when you act like this is everyday attire and it’s perfectly normal to dress like this.

When we get on the monorail, the rain hits sudden and hard. I am completely bummed. Costumes this cool were never meant to be covered by ponchos!

This is the first time we’re stepping on the monorail since we arrived, so this is the first time hearing the Happiest Celebration on Earth spiel and Stitch interrupting the Magic Kingdom segment…blech, how obnoxious. Dan and I give each other a what the crap? look. Neither of us finds Stitch to be endearing…nice way to ruin a perfectly good monorail spiel!

Fortunately, by the time we step off of the monorail, the rain slows to a random sprinkle, and the sun starts working its way back out. Whew! That was close. The rain gods must be smilin’ down on our costumed heads today. Well, maybe not smiling so much as a strained grimace since it is their job to make it rain.

Now I figured by the time we hit the MK the stares would stop, or at least lessen. I mean, we are entering Halloween Partyville, right? But no, we’re still just about the only ones in costume so we’re pretty much the object of ridicule (Dan), or the object of admiration (me). We slip our MNSSHP tickets through the card thingee and walk through the turnstiles. A CM immediately stops us.

“Remember,” he says. “as adults in costume you need to be responsible: do not pretend like you are a cast member in a Disney costume. If a child approaches you for pictures or an autograph, be sure to let them know you do not work here.”

Excuse me sir, but since when did Disney own the rights to Harry Potter and the Amish Caveman? But we agree to their silly rules and double-dog swear not to deceive the little ones. Then he lets us in.

We’re in the MK! Are people going to stop staring at us? Nope. I suppose we should expect that, even at a Halloween Party. Of course, it’s 4:28, the party hasn’t technically started yet, and we seem to be the only freaks among a crowd of regularly dressed folks. But we have a Priority seating…excuse me, Advance Dining Reservation, at the Liberty Tree Tavern at 4:30 and we have to bust a move.

Easier said than done. Walking down Main Street, a group of muggle men assault me. “Harry Potter! Harry! Can we get your picture with us? Your costume is so cool!” I consider putting the freezing spell on them so that we can make our reservation, but I am not an evil wizard nor do I have a working wand, so I say “Right,” in my ridiculous Cockney accent. I step in front of the group of men, pose with my wand in front of my chest, and scowl at the camera. …Not that Harry was a scowling kid, but I don’t picture him as a toothy-smiles person like I am whenever I see a camera. Click, they take my picture (poor Amish Caveman, left out of the frame!) and we are once again off to the LTT.

Stopped again! This time a mom approaches me. “Harry, can you take a picture with my daughter?” I’m about to go into my I-Don’t-Work-For-Disney spiel when I look down at see that her little girl is clutching her mom’s leg and looking up at me with very big eyes. The girl is shaking her head at me. She obviously is terrified of wizards, good or bad, smiling or scowling.

“I think that’s a no, Mum,” I said to the woman in my English accent. She looked down at the terrified little girl that was clutching her leg and staring at me. Mom looked back up at me, apologized, and said that it was too bad, it would have made a great picture.

…I can see it now, Marge the Mom is sharing her holiday photos back home with her sister… “Hey Marge is that Harry Potter in this picture? Cool. Did you get his autograph? Oh, it was a girl? …Becky, why are you screaming your head off?”

So we’re off to LTT! All around us we hear a peppering of “It’s Harry Potter! Do you see Harry Potter?” “Allo” I say back. I turn to Dan and whisper, “Get used to that, you’ll be hearing it all bloody night.”

“Ugh.” Dan says.

We finally arrive at the LTT.

Ugh is hungry and ready for some chow...steak, cheetah, dinosaur leg, salmon pate...whatever

I just love to see the CMs and characters in costume. As soon as we are seated, the characters are coming around. Goofy is dressed as Zorro and looks quite dashing. Dale comes over and he has some sort of bat mask on. Pluto joins our table next; he is the best character yet. Costume aside (he has some sort of half pumpkin on his head…whatever that is, I’ll never know), he gets pretty excited when he sees my caveman husband and starts a silly caveman dance in front of him. Dan gives him a friendly “Ugh,” and joins in the dance. Hilarity ensues.

Just wait, in a few months this dance will be all the rage in weddings, bar mitzvahs, showers, etc.

Then Pluto comes over to me and I scratch behind his ear. Well, Pluto did exactly what he was supposed to…he went nuts. He started with the leg shaking thing, shaking it so hard he lost it and fell on the floor.

If you think that felt good, wait til I use my wand.

Psst…tell the Breafasto-lameus Pluto THIS is how he’s supposed to act.

I laugh and pat Pluto on the head as a reward for his good behavior.

Then the food comes, served family-style. Dan gets a lot of food to himself because we vegetarians get our own chow. His dinner is turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, and macaroni and cheese. Mine is a quinoa (a grain) and veggie combo. I gotta say this: as a vegetarian, you get very tired of the pasta-and-veggie dishes. But quinoa is a grain I’ve NEVER been served before. Plus, the dish is absolutely flavorful and delicious. Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our meals here.

Minnie (donning a ghost mask) and Chip (wearing a bandana (?)) make the rounds and are giving us lots of attention. Then again, the character interaction has always been good here. I asked Minnie why she doesn’t have an engagement ring yet and she puts her hands on her hips like she doesn’t know and seems to be very upset about it. Dan promises her that he will buy her a ring and plants a big kiss on her nose.

Great, now Minnie will have mascara on her nose all evening.

That seemed to brighten her up a bit, despite the fact he was already married and Amish.

After dinner, we meander outside near Peter Pan. Harry Potter has to tinkle. Uh oh. As a woman dressed as a man, which is the appropriate restroom? I stood outside of the restrooms and wondered aloud which one I should enter. A woman walked by and laughed at me. (I was so tempted to put a jinx on her, but my wand is made of rubber.) I decided to try the men’s room. (Just kidding. But it would have made a great addition to my trip report.) It was quite shocking to catch my image in the bathroom mirror…you know, it’s weird seeing a boy in a girl’s restroom. Then I remember, “Oh silly, that’s just me.”

It’s wonderful to see how they transform this park into Halloween Central in just a couple of hours. As the evening gets darker, oversized Halloween displays light up the park. Creepy sound effects and music are piped into the street, children are in dressed up as their favorite characters and clutching trick-or-treat bags, and once in awhile you will hear a shout as someone spots a unique or interesting costume. There is a genuine Halloween feel about the place.

One conundrum we experienced after dinner: the great search for designated smoking sections. Dan wanted his “after-dinner mint” and we asked not one, not two, but three CMs before we figured out exactly where the smoking section was in the area. Even the maps didn’t help us. What a couple of dimwits…of course Dan was just a dumb caveman, but what was my excuse? And I didn’t have Pal Mickey with me tonight. Not that he ever assisted us for smoke breaks before, but he was at least good for moral support when I had to wait for Dan to puff on his coffin nail.

Don't be angry at me, Ugh. You're the one with the nicotine addiction.

Next stop is the Haunted Mansion. The crowds are light enough that we just walk right on. Ahh…paying extra money for the Halloween event is SO worth it. When we exited the attraction, a CM stopped us. He points at Dan. “You’re a caveman.” Dan says, “Ugh…gotta Roo pin?”

The CM looks at me, “Harry, I just have to see your scar…it’s so real. How did you get it to look like that?” I told him (in my ridiculous Cockney accent) that it was real, that I cut my skin to really get into character. The CM gave me a nervous laugh, like he wasn’t completely sure if I was kidding. DH and I walked away.

“I am really disappointed in you,” he said. “You should have stayed in character and told him that Voldemort gave you that scar.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when someone asks me again, Ugh.”

Of course, no one else did.

Dan makes a “I’m-going-to-check-out-another-store-for-a-Roo-pin” move and suddenly does a left turn into a gift shop. He walks around the store and scouts out the area. He spots a yellow lanyard on a young female CM. “Why that’s a nice kangaroo pin—Hey! That’s ROO!” He frantically signals over to me, pointing at a CM who is decorated with pins.

“No flipping way,” I said, coming over to investigate the lanyard. Sure enough, there he was. The very same Roo pin that took my mom a week to find…only took Dan one day.

In the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Yay, no more of this silly searching.”

Meanwhile, Dan realizes he doesn’t have a pin to trade Roo with. So he holds up a finger and says to the CM, “Stay right there!” And to me, “Guard that Roo pin!” as if Roo is valuable to anyone else on this planet. And he’s dashing off in another direction to buy the cheapest pin he could find. He comes back with two pins, “in case he finds another one.”

Moments later we were walking out of the store with one shiny Roo pin. I have to hand it to Dan, once he gets his mind set on something, the boy can accomplish ANYTHING.

Before the first parade, the park was refreshingly empty. Walking onto attractions was a breeze. They did a good job of clearing the parks of non-Halloween party folks. So Dan and I were happily skipping from one attraction to the next (all the time hearing “Look, it’s Harry Potter!”). I think the reason lines were so short was that the lines for the candy were ridiculous. The lines never let up all evening.

I can't believe how clean those dolls are now!

So Amish Caveman and I are merrily skipping from attraction to attraction, noticing that as the evening wore on, the crowds were getting heavier and heavier. By the time we needed to stake out a spot for the first parade, the park was packed. Looking around, we saw nothing but a sea of people. (When I came to the Not-So-Scary Halloween Party last year with my mom and sister, the park was practically dead. In fact, the three of us walked up to the parade about 10 minutes before it started and had no trouble seeing it.) So what was up this year?

Clop clop clop, the Headless Horseman zooms by, the parade has officially started! And here come the villains...the gravediggers…the corpses…man I just love this parade! And the music rocks!

Once the parade ended, the huddled masses scattered in different directions. Now it was just a sea of people to maneuver around. Holy crap, Caveman! This park is packed. It took us 10 minutes from the Hall of Presidents to Splash Mountain. And wouldn’t you know it? Once we elbowed our way through the crowd to get there, we find out SM isn’t working. Which means that Big Thunder Mountain Railroad has to accommodate the SM overflow. Double crap!

Once we’re off of the attraction, we notice that the crowds have gotten worse. Excuse me, this is Sept 30. Why is this park so freaking jammed?

We wiggle our way through the crowds (“Hey, it’s Harry Potter!”) until it’s time for HalloWishes. Now we have to stake our spot even earlier than the parade, considering that the park is getting busier as the evening wears on, and there is only one fireworks show tonight.

After the fireworks, we figure the crowds will lighten up around the attractions because people will be staking out their spots for the next parade. Well, we were half-right. Folks starting lining up for the parade route, but the crowds were so thick that the attractions were packed anyway. By 10:30 we were done. My Harry glasses were not only making indentions in the sides of my head, they were also making me a bit crossed-eyed. And that stupid wig was terribly hot and itchy. I was eager to peel off the scar and call it a night. When Harry Potter and the Amish Caveman hit the turnstiles to leave, costumed folks were still dribbling into the park.

Ugh, get me out of here.

Next installment: Day 3. There’s No Crying in Disney World!

 

[hucifer]

You have such a fantastic gift with writing. I cannot wait for the next installment. I was up WAY too late the other night reading the ENTIRE trip report from your last Disney trip.


Keep 'em coming.
razamataz

Razamataz, I just wanted to thank you for posting this. I'm sorry I didn't earlier, I guess I glossed over it the first time. But this is one VERY nice compliment. Thank you so much!

 

[goofymom23]

Enjoying the report, and the costumes.

 

[MagicMe]

Loving your report and loved your costume. We're heading down this year for the MNSSHP - hope we don't run into the same size crowds. At least I know that our early ADR in LTT may come in handy for some fun!

 

[MagicMe]

Had to post one more time. Just went back and read your first trip report. You truly are talented! Can't wait to hear more about this trip...

 

[MickeyDee]

I was mid-sip and my Diet Pepsi blew through my nose as I read your description of the personality-less characters at Donald's.... Dude..."Wow. Talk about personality. No wonder they don’t make pancakes made in your likeness. You kinda suck." I almost peed my pants!

 

[TimeforMe]

I LOL'd at the "amish caveman"! You were soooooooooo right on.

 

[razamataz]

if you had used the men's room. You make a very convincing Harry Potter.

It really sounds like the Halloween party would be alot of fun, it is shame that we are going the week before it starts.

Loved this one as much as the last one.....

Looking forward to the next one.

razamataz

 

[abe_froman]

that's so funny me and my gf were at that same mnsshp, and YES it was crowded

great trip report

cheers!

 

[Beana9802]

that's so funny me and my gf were at that same mnsshp, and YES it was crowded

great trip report

cheers!

I know this is but I love your name abe....so good!

Okay, back on topic. Hucifer! You're one awesome Harry Popper as my students call him.

 

[Loubon]

You made a great Harry Potter but I think Dan as Hermione was a little iffy....


And hey, now you've even attracted Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago!

 

[DISUNC]

As always GREAT addition!

From someone who has been the greatest caveman of all time, Fred Flinstone, every Halloween for the past 20 years...I would like to light one up with the Amish Caveman and discuss how to grill a good Brontosaurus Burger!

Glad he got his Roo pin!

You are very lucky that "He whose name must not be mentioned" didn't show up the same night you did! Whew that wuld have been dangerous...YOU WERE HARRY!

 

[Loubon]

Forgot to mention......

The stuff smells like wart remover!

I don't even want to know how you know that.....

 

[hucifer]

MickeyDee, you need to watch your liquid consumption while reading...that sounds like it HURT...carbonated beverage in the nose...ow.

razamataz, only one problem had I gone into the men's room...now maybe if I had one of those products that allow me to go while standing up...hmm...

abe_froman, I remember you! You had that really cool costume with the material. And stuff. Yeah. Good times. Except for the crowds.

DISUNC, Brontosaurus Burger! I should have mentioned that in the caption. Doh!

MagicMe, thanks for suffering through my previous trip report. Did you notice how I'm a little more long-winded through this one?

Loubon...um...genital warts are more common than you think.

 

[hucifer]

Part 1. Rules are rules

We let ourselves sleep in until 7am. I groggily get up, exhausted and feeling hung over from the previous evening’s fight with the crowds. Looking in the mirror, I’m relieved to see my own face staring back at me. And I’m glad my eyes are looking straight ahead. The scar is gone, the wig is gone, the glasses are gone…but my tongue is sore from faking an English accent and the sides of my head still hurt from the Harry glasses pressing into them all night. Good thing I don’t do this very often, I’m not as young as I used to be. Looking over at Dan, I’m equally relieved to see that Ugh the Amish Caveman has been replaced by my sleeping hubby. I look down and see the shiny Roo prize that Dan obtained twelve hours earlier.

Dan did the “Where are we going today? Blizzard Beach?” again this morning. I finally realized he does this simply for a reaction. He knows I’m not going to tell squat, he just wants to see me get all animated and angry and do the “stop asking me, you’ll see when we get there!” rant. Husbands know how to push your buttons better than anybody, don’t they? And they love doing it. So instead of giving him what he wants, I learned to just laugh at him.

When he sees his old tactics aren’t working, he dreams up a new one and gives me a pouty face. “Blizzard beach doesn’t exist.”

I said, “You finally figured it out, now stop asking me about it.”

The morning after. Pretty, isn't it? Looks like it might be a nice day. For once.


Early into this trip, Dan and I established some ground rules for everyone to follow, regardless if anyone else knows about them or not. The first major rule: There is no crying in Disney World. I mean, you are in the Happiest Place on Earth, Where Magic Lives, enjoying the Happiest Celebration on Earth…there can be no plausible reason for the whining, pouting, and especially, crying.

This rule is mostly abused by children. Mostly.

When we are in the presence of a crying child, Dan will point out the violation by loudly announcing, “There’s no crying in Disney World.”

And I will confirm this rule by saying, “That’s the law.” Just to erase any doubt on the violator’s part.

The second rule involves swearing…usually, this law is abused by adults. Mostly.

Pal Mickey said he really missed us last night at the Halloween party and it was really lonely all by himself in the hotel and oh boy, it sure would be swell if he could tag along with us today. I find it hard to resist his guilt tactics, so I clip him on my side and we hit the sidewalk to walk to the Poly monorail.

No alligators today. If I dress up like a gazelle, wrap raw bacon around my ankles, and wade waist-high in the pond, would that help?

Everything started off fine and incident-free on the monorail to Epcot. We patiently sat on the train and waited for our stop.

Then…it happened.

A young family of three boarded our section of the monorail. The mom enters first, pushing a stroller with a little girl of about two onto the train. The dad is right behind them. The couple sit down next to us and leave their daughter in the stroller, facing us. This little girl has the most hypnotizing smile I’ve ever seen on a child, and she isn’t shy about sharing it with me and Dan.

This little girl is so beautiful. I cannot help but stare at her…I’m fixated on this little face…I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a happy and adorable child. She stares back, but with that maniacal grin, as if she knows she’s hypnotizing me. Dan’s attention is on her, too. Then the little girl breaks the stare. She turns to her mom, reaches her arm out to touch her mom’s leg, and says, “Tickle me, Mommy.” The mom leans forward and brushes her fingers under her chin. The little girl looks back up at me and goes into a mad giggling fit.

Oh man, this is too adorable.

A few moments later and the giggling stops but the grin is still wide on her face. She leans forward and touches her mother’s leg again. “Tickle me, Mommy.” And fingers are tickling her neck again and this little girl is squirming and giggling in her stroller and staring right at us with this unbelievable smile. The daughter couldn’t get enough of the tickling, and she wouldn’t stop grinning at me.

I couldn’t look away. I suddenly felt a wave of motherly love wash over me.

It happened all at once. This powerful rush of emotions hit me like a slap in the face. The next thing I knew, my eyes were welling up with tears. I forced myself to turn away from her and face the window of the monorail. It was an emotional torture built by years of infertility…the pain and agony of being unable to have your own. I looked up at Dan, hoping for some kind of solace. It was happening again, the calm just before I lost all composure and would burst into uncontrollable bawling. My lips were quivering, the tears were now spilling down my cheeks; I was trying so hard to contain the explosion that was ready to burst right there in the monorail.

The mom…does she see this? Does she realize what her little girl is doing to me? Although my back was to the family, I felt as though the whole monorail was in a hush, and that everyone was watching me and waiting for the Psycho Woman to lose it.

I saw thousands of beautiful children in Disney World…but none of them had ever driven me to such an emotional state. However, I have had an episode like this before. It happened when I was in the waiting area before a haircut appointment back home. A young family had their newborn son with them. For the first ten minutes, the baby slept. I leaned over and admired the sleeping cutie in the car seat. But when the infant woke up, it wasn’t fussy or crabby; it was cooing and gurgling and making those unmistakable newborn sounds that absolutely melt your heart. It happened all at once there too, and out of nowhere…my eyes filled up with tears and my body was jerking as I suppressed these spontaneous sobs. But, sitting there in the salon, I realized that no matter how much I tried to conceal it, there was no way to cover up what was about to happen. I knew I was about twelve seconds away from making a scene that I could not control. I literally ran out of the salon like a maniac and threw myself into my car, where I sat behind the wheel and uncontrollably bawled and screamed and sobbed. It freaked me out…I had never experienced such a sudden and violent burst of grief in my life.

It was about to happen here, too and I knew it. But we were on a moving monorail and there was nowhere for me to lose it in private. Dan looked down at me and very gently said, “There’s no crying in Disney World.” His eyes were sweet and understanding. I still struggled to fight the sobbing that was threatening to explode from inside. But Dan knew how to calm me down with his tender words and soft voice. It took every muscle in my throat that I had, but I was able to swallow that mammoth lump in my throat. I wiped my face and weakly smiled at him. I kept my back to the family and tried very hard to pretend that they weren’t there. “Get me away from all of this,” I croaked. As soon as the doors opened, I sprinted from the monorail and never looked back at the haunting face on the train.

Once we were through the gates, I was calmed down but I still needed the stimulation of the park to keep my mind off of things. If I thought too much about that little girl, the lump in the throat would form and I’d be choking back the tears all over again. “We’re next to Spaceship Earth. Some folks think it looks like a huge golf ball, but you’d have to be over a mile tall to play golf with it. I don’t know about you, but if I were a mile tall, I’d be playing basketball!”

Ah, that did it. Thanks, Mickey. You are so reliable.

---------------------------------

I figured that was the end of it…until I discovered that the adorable little girl on the monorail has DISboard parents. A few weeks after we returned from WDW, I posted about this experience on a thread. The mom recognized me; since then we have exchanged a few PMs. Here are a couple pictures of Mom & Hannah:

Couldn't you just pinch those cheeks?

-----------------------

Next installment: Part 2. The art of nose picking

 

[Micheme]

Wendy

I have been waiting for this for a long time. It brings such mixed emotions, I feel so bad that our little family caused you such sadness... especially in the happiest of places. It was with tears I read your trip report but I hope you can look back on it now with less hurt. I think maybe it was meant to be and we were meant to collide that day on the monorail. The journey of infertility is so difficult with some ups and a whole lot of downs. You witnessed the end of our journey with the adoption of our special princess and I can only wish and dream that your journey will soon take another path... a journey into parenthood.

Michelle and smiling hannah

 

[Daisysmom]

Oh my gosh! This is the best trip report I have ever read. So very well written; I have been glued to it - actually reading all of it, not skimming a bit! Please don't stop!

I too have waged the infertility battle. The ups and downs are so tough. You seem like you would be such a great mom, with your sense of humor and your candor and insight. I hope that some day, some way, you will realize this dream.