How to not sound like a control freak - UPDATED POST 44

[rentayenta]

Embrace your inner control freak.

 

[anewmac]

Im the crazy planner and Im just going with DH and our 2boys LOL. They are the laid back whenever we get up whatever ....ok DH is and the boys like to be just like him. So I have told hubbs this time You can sleep in if you want, but dont get mad if I take off to the parks early or stay late. Its my vacation too and im going to enjoy it and if you want to sleep your days away thats fine... enjoy YOUR vacation. But know I will be having dinner here here and her.. if you would like to join me great if not.. Good luck getting in somewhere LMAO

 

[Miss Ang]

other people just don't understand do they? People like me (control freaks) cannot help the way they are. No we cannot go by the flow! There must be order and a rational way to do everything!

Exactly!!!

And:

For our trips I make a color coded chart for our trip. It looks like a daily planner. I put park hrs, parade & fireworks times at the top. Each park has it's own color. I put ADR's in the appropriate time slot. And put the color for the recommended parks of the day.

I think I love you!

 

[Disneymama09]

I hear you , I am taking our INLAWS In December, they have no clue...

 

[AnnaLeeB]

The inlaws are the ones I worry about - long story short, MIL had a stroke a year ago. She is a little unsteady on her feet, she buys the cheapest pair of tennis shoes that she's had for 10 years. I told her the other day that she needs to go to the New Balance store and get fitted, not just for Disney, but for everyday. Has she - NO. I plan on telling her about the 40+ sq miles thing Saturday. Honestly I don't think she should come, I'm not going to listen to her complain about how she can't keep up and ruin my vacation. That is why I'm going to tell them to either rent a car as well, or be prepared to take a taxi back to the house (we are staying in Windsor Hills).

Would your MIL be willing to let you push her in a wheelchair? It would probably save you both a lot of frustration. You can rent them at the entrance to the parks.

 

[diskids2]

other people just don't understand do they? People like me (control freaks) cannot help the way they are. No we cannot go by the flow! There must be order and a rational way to do everything!

Oh I love it! and I do understand!

I have the "job planner" task myself....it has been bestowed upon me in practically every aspect of my life, not just WDW. Sometimes I get really MAD and feel that I have to do it all....but then I stop myself and remember that I wouldn't be happy if someone else did it either!

And trust me....my family tells me I am a control freak...they don't pull any punches. At first, I would get insulted...now I don't care. What I do is plan accordingly...I do my very best to make sure that I plan a "must do" for each person....after that....if they want to follow my plan .... they can.....if not....they are welcome to follow their own plan.

 

[DexLabDeeDee]

Would your MIL be willing to let you push her in a wheelchair? It would probably save you both a lot of frustration. You can rent them at the entrance to the parks.

Or perhaps an ECV? That way she still has control but she doesn't have to walk. I know there are places that you can rent those off-site.

 

[summermac]

I'm doing the planning and telling my family (parents & sisters) this is what we're doing. Come or don't come. I don't care.

 

[dawnn12]

when we go down to disney with the ils there is 10 of us our usall plan is figure out what park to do on the 1st day and go from there (we have bought hoppers one time out of 5 and i have never hopped so its a waste of $ for us)we dont do reservations for dinner(and never had a problem getting in somewhere) now there are days we (usally dh,me,2 dds and m/fil) go to a different park then bils and sils we meet up after were done(were usally in the same house) and then at night after we get home or sometimes while at one park we decide what one to do the next day (we are usally there for 14 days with 10 day passes and waterparks also) last time we were there we did bb till 2 pm then went over to epcot and stayed till it closed we had a great time the whole time and we like just going with the flow of things and we rather go with the flow then have to worry about making our dinner res.

 

[seadd67]

Dont worry about It!!.Plan away Its fun right??(at least I fel that way) get all your Info down let them know what you have put together.Starting the frist day that Morining If at that time they do not want to follow then let them be,maybe they feel like your being a know It all? and telling them what to do.Who knows what goes on in peoples mind,you rack your brain trying to plan all of this, be here,be there the stress Is not woth It.You and your Family follow IT, enjoy your self they will learn and It will not poil your trip. Inlaws are Inlaws dealing with the spouses Family does not have to be stress full each side has to give a little,ok some sides take longer to reliaze this! thats were your Incredible sense of patients will come Into play and be the postive Family member. My MOm alwas said that you will have a better reaction from asking some one then telling some one. Good luck

 

[dyna]

With the exception of 1 friend I don't think I'd ever take friends or extended family members to disney. Heck I don't even offer to take 2 of my own DD's because I don't want my visit ruined.

The 1 friend I'd take would be willing to hang with me an do what I did when I did it just to be able to go. He's a life long friend some what disabled from a brain injury in his early 20's gets disoriented easily. Not sure how he'd handle SM an some of the wilder attractions but I'm sure he'd be willing to sit an wait while I did them FP. Problem is on disabilty he just doesn't have the money to go which is sad because he's a HUGE Mickey fan an LOVES LOVES disney.

My DH values his vacation time very highly he'd put a stop to anyone goin with us in a heartbeat I'm sure.

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

Keep in mind that not everyone enjoys a tightly planned out vacation. Planners and wanderers don't mix well in this kind of situation and trying to force someone to follow a plan they may not want to will just cause resentment and hurt feelings and a WDW vacation shouldn't be remembered for such things.

You are so right. However, in our case, the "Type Bs" refused to split up.

MIL and SIL wanted to tag along on our 2007 trip, and I agreed, but I knew it was a potential disaster. I'm Type A, and let's say DH is A minus. DS just goes with the flow. DH is waaaay more than happy to leave the planning to me because he knows how much more we'll enjoy our vacation with a plan. And for the record, we're not really what you'd call "commando"...we have lots of down/free time built in, but we know what park we're going to on which day, we have ADRs, and we do rope drop with a rough idea of what rides we'll do. We always have an absolutely fabulous time.

Even though they were told countless times that they were under NO OBLIGATION to stay with us and follow our schedule, MIL & SIL refused to go off on their own. They are beyond Type B - they're probably Type F or G. I had gathered all sorts of information for them before the trip, letting them know about the heat, what to expect with the crowds, what type of shoes to wear, etc. And it wasn't just handing them a big stack of paper that they had to sort through. I put it in a fun "newsletter" form with big font, very easy to read. And nothing overwhelming, just wanted to make sure they knew it wasn't going to be comparable to a trip to our local amusement park. But they were well-informed that DH, DS, and I would not be getting to the parks at 11 and then sitting on a bench for an hour deciding what to do next.

Long story short, they refused to read anything, they refused to hear anything, they just kept saying "we'll just do what you do". Multiple warnings that our schedule wouldn't really work for them. Why don't we do our thing and y'all do your thing, and we'll all meet for dinner and fireworks/Illuminations/Fantasmic, etc.? Nope. Didn't want to hear it.

Long story short, while I wouldn't call the trip a disaster, it was close. They absolutely refused to split up, but wanted us to follow their pace. Because I really like my MIL and SIL (we just don't share planning philosophies), I never threw the whole "I tried to tell you so!" thing in their face. But MIL is a complainer by nature, and she complained the *entire* time about crowds, about her feet hurting, about the length of lines, about the wait time for shows, about the wait time for restaurants, etc. And I just wanted to scream at her "that's because you would not wake up until 10:00!!!"

If she had wanted to lollygag and meander then more power to her. Just don't make all of us do that! Let us go! SIL was frustrated too (by all the complaining). But again, despite my complaints about her here, she's really a great MIL , so I never confronted her. When I would gently suggest splitting up, she would refuse. So we were stuck. We ended up missing multiple ADRs, Illuminations, other shows, and multiple rides.

I was inwardly furious - we had paid a lot for this trip, and we were having a miserable time. I was really feeling resentful (besides the 5k down the drain, we only do Disney every other year), and I was trying so hard not to show it. Poor DH was trying to keep the peace. It was not a fun trip.

If we only got to see them occasionally, I would have been more than happy to spend more time meandering and visiting on park benches. But we all live within a quarter of a mile from each other - we see each other several times a week.

Didn't mean to go on so much, but the moral of the story is I WILL NEVER AGAIN TRAVEL WITH OTHERS. Not to Disney. Not unless I'm not paying, and not unless it's not my family's biannual trip.

 

[mmcguire]

I have not managed to figure out how to do it without coming across as a control freak. Everyone who has gone with us has been clueless about how much there is to do, what requires advanced reservations, etc. and they do NOT like to follow any kind of plan.

From now on, people are on their own. I'm tired of being viewed as the "vacation Nazi", when my intent was to help people get the most of their VERY expensive vacation time. No good deed goes unpunished, right?

OMG - Ariel Wanna-be -- I could have written your post. We had the EXACT same thing happen to use 2 trips back (what we refer to as "The Lost Disney Trip"). Relatives who wanted to sleep in, walk at a snail's pace, refused to split up, then proceed to gripe about EVERYTHING we were doing. By the last day I had HAD IT and left them standing in World Showcase and told them we'd meet later. Best day of the trip!

 

[keith-atl]

My wife is great at planning our meals and what days we go to what parks, she even puts it in a spreadsheet.

The funny part is once we get there I think we toss most of it out and go with the flow. Maybe its just half the fun of planning everything.

I mean come on, you plan months in advance maybe you don't actually feel like doing what you planned.

We also meet friends down there and they are pretty much the same way, we try to plan but we end up winging it as well.

 

[cdackbwv99]

I am currently planning a trip for 16 the first week in May.
Two years ago, ten of these 16 ended up waiting 2 hours to go on Soarin' because no one wanted to get up in time to arrive at rope drop.

SO…while mentioning that TWO HOUR WAIT at least five times in my speech…

Last Saturday I handed out a packet of information containing:

1) All the plans for what times DW, DD7, DS6 and I will be at the parks and approximately what rides on which we are going.

2) The times and locations of the four restaurants that I made reservations for 16.

3) The times we leave for the airport in Michigan and Florida.

4) The ADR phone number, 407-WDW-DINE and told them to fill in the blanks.

5) The link to wdwinfo.com

6) A price list for all the Park Ticket Options for a six day stay.

7) The location of the Bus Station at our hotel.


I made it very clear: If you do not want to get up at 7:00 to stand in line for Dumbo, Soarin’, Expedition Everest, and Toy Story Mania then call us on our cell phone when you arrive at the park and we will gladly tell you where we are.

When the phone rings and Goofy/Mickey wakes us up, you have a choice to make… and the buses run every 15 – 20 minutes after that.

WOW! That felt real good to get that off my chest. Thank you all for listening!!

 

[zuly]

Been there! agree

 

[WDWAtLast]

I am the type A planner, DH is way more laid back. But he wants his trip planned - he knows from our past trip to WDW what a difference it makes - and that was before ADR"s and the dining plan. So he doesn't want to hear about or participate in the planning (thank goodness for the DIS boards!!) But he TRULY appreciates all the hard work and the "smooth" vacation that we have because of it.

And I feel for those of you that traveled with crazy relatives!! If MIL wanted to join us, I would cancel the trip!!!!

 

[jemlover]

DH and I are traveling for the first time with our DS and DDIL. DS has been to WDW with us three times before and knows our style of touring which is go, go, go. Our DDIL on the other hand prefers laying by the pool or at the beach. I did have a planning meeting with them and told them that we have to do rope drop at least 4 out of the 7 days we are there. DH has already stated that he may want to meet us later. He's not the Disney nut that I am so doesn't care if he misses some rides. Since nobody wants to stand in long hot lines I think I've convinced DS and DDIL that this is necessary. I have also explained that if they want to do something separate or we're all not having a good time we will split up and meet up later. They are OK with this. They know that DH will not tolerate whining or moodiness. I'm really excited about the trip. We're all fun people and I expect there will be a lot of joking and silliness and a great time will be had by all.

 

[PrincessBelle39]

You will love Windsor HIlls. Its fantastic. But I have to agree. You need separate transport. This was our main problem. We had a minivan and a car between 11 of us. We really needed that extra car. We were all very different types of travellers but all waited until everyone was ready to leave. It really didn't work.

 

[tinkgurl]

Maybe you should show them park maps and a map that has an overview of the entire WDW property so they can see the distance between parks, all the resorts, etc.