How much of a priority is Disney?

[mrsklamc]

I think this is a very negative view of the world that doesn't give kids nearly enough credit.

Yeah well....don't judge others when you haven't been in their shoes. My parents were totally irresponsible and their spending was on crap for themselves, not cool experiences or even stuff for their kids. In their 60s they continue to spend irresponsibly and be a burden. IIRC, OPs kids are 1,2, and 3 and have been to Disney more than once already. Even if you're someone who doesn't believe in paying for college, they need their parents to be saving for retirement a heck of a lot more than they need another disney trip.

 

[angwill]

Needs before wants is my motto. I will put other wants on hold for a trip though.

 

[angwill]

I think this is a very negative view of the world that doesn't give kids nearly enough credit. My mom didn't have college savings for me and it never even crossed my mind to "resent" the family vacations and other experiences I had growing up because of it - I knew she did the best she could on the resources she had, and can't even fathom resenting that we did things together rather than sitting home saving every spare dime for the future. I wouldn't give up 18 years of fun memories and really cool hands-on learning experiences for a fully funded college account and I fully expect my kids will feel the same way.

ETA: I view retirement and college savings as fundamentally different in this regard. Retirement planning is a basic part of taking care of one's own future, and I believe that to be essential. I don't view providing for higher education to be a necessity of that level - there are other routes to long-term success as well as other ways to fund college if the parents can't/won't provide for the full cost.

I view these things the same as you. I don't resent my parents for not providing a college fund. PS. My parents didn't bring us on vacations but they went on them alone. I still don't begrudge them of it. What I do resent is that they refused to give me their SS and tax information so I had to wait till I was considered an adult and didn't need their financial information to apply for any college help.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I sock away a little every month towards Disney when I'm planning a trip. I'm lucky in that I rent my room from relatives and so have less responsibilities than others. Once my share of the bills, rent, life insurance, my phone, and my basic needs are taken care of, I look at how much I can put away. Right now I'm struggling a bit because I'm paying for someone besides myself, but so long as I've met my obligations I'm cool with being a bit broke.

I'm not rich by any means-most of the reason I live with relatives is because I'm on a fixed income, but I manage and I think so long as you're managing saving up to go to WDW is fine, even if it takes a year to get enough money.

 

[mrsklamc]

I view these things the same as you. I don't resent my parents for not providing a college fund.

The person you were responding to stated that her mother did the best she could with what she had. I wouldn't resent that either. I'm talking about foolish, excessive expenditures in lieu of wise spending - multiple Disney trips in a few short years when lacking retirement or college savings would qualify.

I also don't think it's a negative view of the world to hope that children would prefer parents who spend wisely to those that indulge their every whim.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

but I will not ever give up my vacation time. for me it's a balance. (my dh saved, saved, saved and then died before 55 so evidently all his sacrifice was for nothing).

My condolences on your loss. My dear great aunt lived to 102 and told DH and myself something similar when we were about 30. Her husband was all about saving, saving, saving so they could do all sorts of things in their retirement. He died in his early 60's and they never got to do those things together. Her advice was to save enough to be comfortable in our retirements, but to enjoy the time we had together when we had it and not to put anything off until later, because later might not come.

It was powerful advice; we never forgot it and have lived by it.

We have retirement accounts, we are saving for that, total no-brainer there. We want to retire at a decent age and spend our time doing things we want to do, so we put money aside for that, we just don't put ALL our money aside for a day that may or may not come.

As for spending on the house/furniture. We would rather have a 15 year old slipcovered couch and a trip to Disney than a new couch and no trip to Disney. There are some things, like roofs and plumbing or AC that we HAVE to do, so we do those things. But things like a new coffee table or a new headboard? DH and I would rather have the pleasure of all the time spent planning a trip to Disney, being at Disney, and then reminiscing about the time we spent at Disney, than a new bathroom when the old bathroom fixtures work pefectly well.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I put traveling - not only to Disney but as a whole - very high on my list of priorities. Certainly higher than new furniture or cosmetic home repairs; we tend to "make do" until things genuinely need replacing and take that opportunity to address cosmetic issues when choosing a replacement. It isn't higher than retirement, but in a sense I suppose it is higher than college in the sense that we're not going to have fully funded college accounts for all three kids. We'd be a lot closer if we didn't travel but that's not a trade-off we're willing to make.

Same

 

[Patience]

We travel, usually an inexpensive beach trip and one other nicer trip per year, but we save for retirement and college for our kids first (we have one in college now and she will graduate with no student loan debt as will our youngest daughter). We do tend to put vacation spending above other wants though. We buy good used cars, not new, and drive them for a long time. I hate car payments and we haven't had one in many years. We eat out infrequently. We have a nice home and I do like keeping it fresh and updated but I bargain shop and my husband does a lot of things around here DIY.

 

[emilik]

Am I the only one thinking that if you're looking at choosing between Disney and a couch, you probably need to be looking at a different couch?! Haha! My opinion is pretty much the same as everyone else's, I was just amused by the constant couch comparison, seeing as both of our (very nice, barely used) couches have come from Craigslist for under $100.

 

[queenofmykingdom]

Hahaha! Just to clarify, we got all new furniture last year. So that isn't really an issue. I was just trying to figure out what people are willing to give up in order to get to WDW. Probably should have said new windows instead of furniture...

 

[Dacky619]

Aside from pageants I've not heard of any. I'd be interested in knowing what is available too. I have several nieces and nephews that age.

There aren't tons, but there are more than most people think. Here is a list of of a good handful out there:

http://www.finaid.org/scholarships/age13.phtml

They have them for everything from community service to making a creative peanut butter sandwich (Jif peanut butter)

 

[Colleen27]

Yeah well....don't judge others when you haven't been in their shoes. My parents were totally irresponsible and their spending was on crap for themselves, not cool experiences or even stuff for their kids. In their 60s they continue to spend irresponsibly and be a burden. IIRC, OPs kids are 1,2, and 3 and have been to Disney more than once already. Even if you're someone who doesn't believe in paying for college, they need their parents to be saving for retirement a heck of a lot more than they need another disney trip.

The OP didn't mention retirement at all, so for all we know that's not even at issue. She mentioned college, furniture, and home improvements, which to me is comparing apples and apples - all three, along with travel, are non-essential line items. If she'd asked about Disney vs retirement I'd read it differently because that's weighing an extra against an essential.

I'm not sure if those are the kids' ages in her sig. If they are, either she doesn't have all her trips listed or they've never been, because her most recent trip was 4 years ago. I thought it was more "thing one, thing two" type numbering rather than ages.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Am I the only one thinking that if you're looking at choosing between Disney and a couch, you probably need to be looking at a different couch?! Haha! My opinion is pretty much the same as everyone else's, I was just amused by the constant couch comparison, seeing as both of our (very nice, barely used) couches have come from Craigslist for under $100.

My last couch was a big, heavy duty, well framed couch with good cushions and superb upholstery. 15 years later, it's unfashionable, not worn out.

When I buy my next couch, I want similar quality and THIS time I want to pick my own couch colors. It will be, with an additional custom made slip cover, about what Disney will cost (minus accomodations - we own DVC) if I get exactly what I want. And yes, I am not buying until I get exactly what I want.

 

[queenofmykingdom]

My boys are 13, 10, and 4. Just FYI.

 

[crisi]

What is coming through to me is that most of us agree its about balance. You don't want to mortgage your future - or that of your kids - for vacations (and unfortunately, we have seen in happen here, people who lost homes in the recession with lots of Disney trips in their signature, but no rainy day fund), but its also not worth it to eat rice and beans to amass a ton of money without taking some time to enjoy it. As to enjoying it - if vacations is what you want to do, that's fine - if its a $3000 couch go for it - if its new windows - whatever floats YOUR boat - and that of your family.

I would caution you, because its been a point of tension in my own happy marriage - that what floats your boat has to be a compromise - he can't always get vacations while you never get your windows. But you can't always be throwing money at home improvements while he doesn't get the vacations he values.

 

[Granny square]

There aren't tons, but there are more than most people think. Here is a list of of a good handful out there:

http://www.finaid.org/scholarships/age13.phtml

They have them for everything from community service to making a creative peanut butter sandwich (Jif peanut butter)

I looked at that this morning. Plenty for older kids. Saw 1 that had a k-3 grouping. I'm still curious which ones that poster was funding. I tend to think statements like that ate about 95% bs but I sure have been wrong too.

 

[angwill]

The person you were responding to stated that her mother did the best she could with what she had. I wouldn't resent that either. I'm talking about foolish, excessive expenditures in lieu of wise spending - multiple Disney trips in a few short years when lacking retirement or college savings would qualify.

I also don't think it's a negative view of the world to hope that children would prefer parents who spend wisely to those that indulge their every whim.

I am not sure why you quoted my post but I am guessing you resent your parents for what you deem unwise spending? Anway, my parents had to be the king and queen of what many would consider unwise spending and indulging in their every whim and most of which were unhealthy habits. They would spend on themselves before their kids even if it came to necessities. They would even go on vacations without us kids. None of us had college funds. Heck all they left us kids with was their debt for funeral costs. My fathers life insurance policy was spent by my mother on her whims and then her policy was left to her sister for reasons we will never know. I do not resent either of my parents because I feel it was there money they earned to do with what they chose. I do wish my mother left enough to cover her funeral but she didn't. Lucky I am smart enough to save and didn't follow in their footsteps so I could cover the cost.

Sure it would have been wonderful if they helped us go to college but they chose not to. If I live life resenting them I am not hurting them I am hurting myself. Instead of resent their choices I chose to learn from my parents what not to do and did the opposite of them as an adult. Lesson learned and I am a stronger person for it.

I just feel IMHO it is each persons choice to spend their money however they choose. It is not up to me to tell you not to resent your parents for their choices either that is your choice.

As for the negative view of the world to hope that children prefer parents who spend wisely to those that indulge their every whim. I am wondering if you are mistaking me for someone else because I never said anything about negative views of any kind. What I can say for that statement however is that children don't get a choice of the parents they are born to nor do they get a choice of how their parents spend their money. Besides most children are too young to know anything about the wise or unwise spending habits of their parents till they are adults themselves. Then hopefully they will be wise enough to understand they had no control over how their parents spent their money and they should just be happy they now have control over the way they spend their own.

 

[hsmamato2]

QUOTE=emilik;48442245]Am I the only one thinking that if you're looking at choosing between Disney and a couch, you probably need to be looking at a different couch?! Haha! [/QUOTE]

I was a couch reference person... probably b/c it's one of those things that you could spend some $$ on,or you could just live with it and go on vacation,not super important....
(I get most things 2nd hand,or repurpose old stuff into 'new' but I don't like the idea of a couch from a strangers house,used. That's just one of my personal things. A couch,or mattress is one of those things that I like to know where it's been...) Op got me thinking ,and no I wouldn't sacrifice important stuff for a trip......

 

[SleepyatDVC]

Vacations in general but especially, Disney are a priority for ME. It seems that 2-2.5 years seem to be the longest I seem to be able to NOT go to Disney.

We fund all the necessities such as retirement and savings FIRST. No debt except for mortgage and car loan. Now the car loan can be paid in full from savings BUT it was a 0.9% loan so we just let it ride and pay a bit extra a month.

With a house, there is ALWAYS something to spend $$$$$$ on. We are FINALLY putting in a whole house generator this month after discussing, planning, thinking, budgeting, changing our minds on it, etc for the last 3 years.

We have to replace ONE of the 2 ac units we have but are thinking of pushing it off until next year.

We have some landscaping work (tie rails, steps) that need to be done which may be pushed until next year also due to budgeting.

We will tackle mulching, power washing, staining deck and fences ourselves in the next 18 months.

We COULD pay for EVERYTHING needed on the house IF we didn't go on vacation or if we raided and wiped out a lot of our savings.

Neither of us want to raid the savings all at once. And I know that DH personally would prefer to get the house stuff done and paid for before going on vacations. BUT my DH has always ENCOURAGED me to plan and book our vacations because he loves me and knows how important vacations are to me and my well being.

My next trip is in late August. We were originally going to drive and make it a longer trip (2 weeks +) to save some money. I would drive down by myself with the 2 kids, making frequent stops to visit friends and family. We would stay 2 nights with family in NC. DH would fly down later, spend a few days and then drive up with us.

But DD#2 is starting HS and we need to be back early from our trip for orientation. I can't leave earlier due to work commitments. So, DH is encouraging us to just fly. He is skipping the trip this time.

So, Disney and vacations are a high priority in my family. We don't do it super budget style anymore but WOULD if that is the only way to afford it. But not to the extent of going into debt or "cheating" the neccessities.

 

[Njord]

Travel in general is a fairly high priority. We live well below our means and save a large portion of our income. We rent, drive older paid for cars, rarely eat out outside of traveling, craigslisted 70-80% of our possessions, only have one kid, etc. Yet, the only time I only feel deprived is when we aren't going anywhere. WDW probably isn't going to happen until 2016, but that's because next major $$$ trips are to Alaska next year and Germany the following year.

With a house, there is ALWAYS something to spend $$$$$$ on.

Part of the reason I don't have all that much interest in homeownership. I've read enough horror stories and seen for myself renting houses what all $$$ things can and do go wrong. In my market, renting is cheaper than buying, so not missing out on much anyway.