How do you please someone that can't be pleased

[Wishing on a star]

Think positive!!!!
And, remember, if the inevitiable happens and he does happen to say something negative/inappropriate.... it is him and not you... Just the way he is...

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I just don't get it he already got on me about the soda and I have not had one in front of him and he said that is what well cause the illness not the weight

 

[scrapquitler]

Thanks you guys for the encurgment I think I will sleep better tonight thanks to your words of wisdom

I'm late to the game here, but I know you have been talking to your doctor about your weight, and if I remember correctly your doctor said that you are at a good weight, right? So there you go. I always found with my parents and grandparents that they always would respect whatever the doctor said, so anything they complained about, I told them "well, my doctor said..." LOL. In your case, I'd say to Dad "I know you are concerned about that, and I have been working on my weight, with my doctors guidance, and he is happy with my weight and health, so we are NOT going to talk about it anymore." Then change the subject, and if he brings it up again, repeat "I know you are concerned, but as I already told you, we are NOT going to talk about it any more". And keep repeating it and don't take the bait.

 

[wilkeliza]

I just don't get it he already got on me about the soda and I have not had one in front of him and he said that is what well cause the illness not the weight

I could be reading this wrong but is he perhaps genuinely concerned and you are reading way too far into it? Does your family have a history of diabetes or were you even pre-diabetic? He is right that if you are pre-diabetic or have a family history of diabetes that soda isn't a great choice. I had a terrible father but I try not to throw every parent into the crap pile just for making a comment if there is real reasons behind it. So in this situation if he has lost several family members to complications of diabetes or if he has it himself, I could see him have justification for try to make sure you don't get it either. Is he saying these things in a nasty way or is he saying "Hey sweetheart, you probably shouldn't have soda, it can be worse for diabetes than weight."

 

[Wishing on a star]

I kind of wondered the same thing as above...
While I admit that I do drink some Coca Cola, I fully believe that soda, and all of the High Fructose Corn Syrup, and chemicals and crap, is basically just toxic.

We never got my son hooked on soda, at all.
My DH never, ever, drinks soda...
And we are from the time when nobody drank actual water, and people thought you could live on the stuff. Just sucking it down all day long!

And, it is pretty well known now that all of the sugar and HFCS, etc, is a big factor on why such a high percentage of people might develope Type II diabetes.

If your Dad's comments are limited to the soda and that type of thing.. he might just be well-meaning and not good at keeping his mouth quiet.

Now, of course, if he is truly one of those people who make negative comments that are personal and damaging.. that's a different story.
I am just not so sure that this is really the category that your dad falls in???

Just try to take him as he comes, and not get upset over small things and over-react.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I agree he could be very well meaning both sides have it but does that give him a right to assume that I live off of soda when I no longer do heck I have risked falling asleep at work and have because I prefer flavor water to soda

Btw I am not saying flavor water is best but it is better for you then soda

 

[Wishing on a star]

No need to explain!!!

Even if you do drink quite a bit of soda... Any comments are still HIS issue, not yours.
Remember that!
Try to let as much as possible roll like water off a duck's back.
Be like...

 

[StitchBuddy]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My husband had to deal with it from his dad. He asked him to step on a scale at age 50!! While my husband could stand to lose some weight he is hardly obese. He is a great husband, father and provider, something his dad wasn't. I often wonder if this was his way of trying to make himself feel better or maybe he was worried for my husband's health. Either way, it was hurtful. I know this is easier said then done, but try notto let it get you down. You ar not responsible for other peoples hang ups. Good luck and remember to love yourself!

 

[7165red]

In the immortal words of Ricky Nelson.."You can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself" Any father that makes it his life's work to put down his own child, isn't worth pleasing

So true!

 

[powellrj]

If your Doctor says you are at a good weight, have him write a note that says you are. I remember my mom was always on me about something and my doctor offered to write me a note telling me that what I was doing was under her orders.

 

[Kitty 34]

Tink, you do what you need to do to make yourself happy; if it pleases others, great....if not, oh well to them.

 

[dimimi]

I feel your pain too. You certainly look great with the picture you provided. I know (unfortunately) how difficult is to ignore negative comments. I am much older than you, unfortunately things my parents have said still bother me! I hope you are having fun!