How do you handle "local" friends and family?

[RCharnay]

I never lie but it's easy for me to make excuses because we like to go commando and most people hate to be around that. So I just say "Oh, you'd hate it--we run from ride to ride and preplan everything. Believe it or not-that's fun to us!" Then I laugh and assure them they would hate it. And I let them know our plan doesn't work if you start adding people, etc.
What I don't tell them is we sometimes go down for slow periods and don't even go to the parks--just relax at DVC and take a mellow vacation. But that's harder to get out of meeting people. You'd think they'd understand that a vacation should be about being with your family and taking the pressure off rather than lumping on the guilt.

 

[TitanBrett]

i live in Tampa but am from Chicago originally....So I have quite a few friends and family that visit WDW. I always tell them specifically "Let me know if you want to meet up". That gives them control to change their plans or not.

Now if you have people that are not as gracious I recommend 1 of the following ideas:

-Say nothing, if they find out later, tell them your spouse is an anal planner and wouldnt deviate from his by the minute schedule researched and created from tireless hours of blood, sweat, toil and tears on the internet.

-Tell everyone you like, and tell them you have a reunion dinner planned for a specific restaurant on a specific night at a specific time, and if they cant make that, then too bad. Also tell them they will need to commit by a certain date so that reservations can be made.

-Lastly, just tell them its a family vacation and you are not making plans currently to meet up with famliy/friends. Perhaps in the future.

 

[pdarrah]

I have relatives about 1 hour from WDW. We have occasionally used the "don't say anything" method for short trips - if we are only there a few days, there really ISN'T time to meet up with others!

When we make a longer trip (usually 8-10 days) which is usually once per year, we will give them the option to come on over and meet us for breakfast at our resort one day. Often, they can't make it and it becomes a non-issue. If they can make it, we make that day our "slow" day and after a rather leisurely breakfast with our relatives, they leave and we have the rest of our vacation to ourselves.

P.S. We do occasionally make visits to actually visit our relatives, which they do not do - for some reason, we are expected to travel to see them but they don't see any need to come North to visit us....

pdarrah

 

[baz212]

My Sister-in-law will be down there visiting a friend at the same time my Mom and son and I will be down. DSIL and her friend offered to watch DS5 for an afternoon and take him to a waterpark, so Mom and I are going to do the Afternoon tea at Grand Floridian and then meet up with them at Epcot For dinner that night. We may spend the whole evening with them, and we may not, but it's working out great for everyone.

 

[Beavers5]

I have a lot of family within an hour of WDW, the only one that gives me a hard time is my grandmother. I know she will give me a hard time, so we always plan 3-7 days for her house either before or after WDW. And of course, she still isn't happy... she doesn't understand why I can't just drive the 1 hour each way and stay at her house each night. I finally told her that we are staying free since we are military and couldn't justify the gas expense of staying at her house. I hate lying to grandma, but she doesn't seem as upset now.

 

[ireland_nicole]

we have family around WDW, and we usually do this: spend a day w/ Grandma/grandpa at the parks (usually Epcot) and then a family meal w/ everybody. Our vacation certainly isn't "taken over" by relatives, and we still get to see everybody; win-win.

 

[bonnenuit]

We grappled with this issue this year. My brothers both live in FL and I thought about not saying anything, then I decided that I would let them know we were going to be there & leave it up to them as to whether they wanted to get together. We're at WDW 8 days & have 7 day park tickets. We're getting together with family on Memorial Day and having a cookout & plenty of time to catch up and take a breather from the parks.

 

[Pig Pen]

This happens to us all the time! DH and I both have relatives within a couple hours drive of WDW. After several disastrous trips we no longer tell family we are coming. We usually say we are going to the Caribbean (which is not REALLY a lie...we visit POC every trip). Luckily no one has asked to see photos.

On the other hand, our Vermont relatives also tend to invite themselves along. For some reason they think since we have DVC then our vacations are free and they should be automatically included. So now we have to lie to them as well! For years we let anyone come along, but eventually I got tired of playing "host" when I am supposed to be relaxing. We did enjoy our "official" grand gathering a few years ago, but our favorite WDW vacations are just the two of us.

 

[Berlioz70]

I love this topic - because I'm in the exact opposite position. As a WDW Cast Member I have people contacting me to get "insider info" on WDW... really I think they just want my free passes. FB is the worse... since WDW is one of my networks I've got people from high school, that I never talk to, contacting me. I've since cleaned out my friends and my profile is on super private.

My DH and I joke we'll never have to make Floridian friends because our old ones (and even those we don't like) keep coming to visit. In all honesty, when people (friends or family) come to visit and don't meet up with us that is just dandy. I feel like I have to lie to avoid meeting those coming to visit!!

 

[KigerKat]

I have 15 people (various friends and family) that live within driving distance to WDW. Some are closer than others, but ALL of them say "let me know when you are going and we'll meet up".

That sure is a tough one...Maybe just tell them when you are going and say that your plans are going to be pretty packed, but let them know which park you will be in on which day and perhaps they will get the picture?

My parents live in Ocala and we're in Atlanta, so we always "use" them as a pit stop along the way. That way, we can get a quick visit over with and a free place to stay for the night and hop on the road first thing in the morning to get an early start at the parks. But since you are from NY, I assume you're flying down and probably couldn't do that trick.

Good luck with however you handle it!

 

[bumbershoot]

That is exactly what happened...we didn't say anything then got busted. My daughter was talking about the trip, then we had to pull out the album. We stated our case about "can't see everyone so see no one", but some people think they are more important than others.

I know everyone is on the side of "don't tell them if you don't want to", but this shows that someone visited someone at some point. So you do like seeing each other.

I've found out that friends have visited Seattle without calling, and I'll be honest, it hurt my feelings. It's one thing if they are too busy, but gosh, to not tell me at all? And if I went out to Orlando and didn't tell my Orlando and Daytona area family I would just have to hide my head in shame. We've been VERY open about our future trip (and plans to travel there often in the further future), and everyone has been really honest about "this is when I want to be there, this is when you say you want to be there, so we don't have to be tied at the hip, but let's spend SOME good time together".

Every time I go to DLR I tell my local friends (and even northern CA relatives); they haven't yet taken me up on visiting, but they could! Even if I had a subpar day b/c I coudl'nt do exactly what we thought we'd do, I would feel remiss if I didn't tell them and give them the opportunity.

 

[BradyBz12]

I have an aunt/uncle and 2 cousins (and their families) that live about 40 mins from WDW. I typically only see my aunt/uncle once a year when they come up here to visit my parents/grandfather. I hardly ever see my cousins.

We actually enjoy spending time with them, but also don't want to eat up our limited vaca time (especially since we're paying WDW rates each night!) If we were only going to be a WDW for a week, I don't think we'd go see them (which would be problematic) but since we typically are there for 2-3 weeks (and have APs), we do schedule a visit.

What we end up doing is picking a day, usually a Saturday (since that works better for them and parks tend to be more crowded then anyway), and go visit them for the day. My cousins aren't always around, but we get to spend some time with my aunt/uncle. They usually take us on a jaunt - flea market, sight seeing... and we do a nice dinner. It's actually a nice day that we've come to look forward to, and since we've been to WDW so many times, we don't feel like we're missing anything.

This year, we're going to see if we can get them to actually come up to see us at WDW. My uncle doesn't do theme parks. At all. But we're camping at FW and I think he'd enjoy hanging out there with us and having a cookout.

I'm with PPs that say that if these are people that you are reasonably close with, and whose company you actually enjoy, it's probably worth it to try and plan a "family day/dinner/event." I'd suggest you pick the day/place/time and send out the invite for the day, and those that can/want to be there will come.

And if they don't... you made an effort and set aside the time. They can't say you blew them off. IMO it's not up to you to cater to the schedules of a bunch of other people while on your vacation.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have (1) 10% AP discount card left. PM me if interested.
I can put them in the mail tomorrow... no charge!

 

[disney1990]

There are very few friends that I "want" to vacation with. However, we do have some friends in the Orlando area that we usually meet up with while we are down. We meet for breakfast or we meet for dinner. We don't meet to do the parks.

 

[Guest-expert]

Maybe I should have been more clear...I have traveled to Florida specifically to visit some of the friends and family that live there (and not gone to WDW). And I do love them and value our relationships. That being said, there are friends and family that we love to vacation with and others who's styles just do not match ours so we don't. On this trip, we are traveling with six family members who live in other states and it's about spending time with THEM...so that makes scheduling time for anyone else even more difficult.

I know I am not alone in having friends and family that I like to vacation with and those that I don't...and as an aside...none of our friends/family from Florida ever invited us to come down for a visit while they visited WDW.

You were clear. We just all have our own stories. I think the key is it is your vacation. If you ask how I would deal with it, I would tell people that we are in town and make a dinner at DTD for all that wanted to come. Tell them you are doing the parks at a pace, you are not planning on meeting anyone. but if you run accross them, so much the better. Then turn off the cell phone.

 

[Kurby]

we just got back from being away for 3 weeks - the first few days we spent with dh's cousin and saw his aunt and uncle.

it's not always easy to add a few days but we find it easier to add a day or two at the beginning rather then stopping mid WDW

we've said a few times that we wouldn't tell anyone we were going but can't keep it quiet.

might be different if they were just friends but not family - espically since we don't see them often.

 

[Tiffany_PartyOf7]

LOL! My family was completely opposite when we lived 10 min. from the gate. They would call around 2 PM and say "Hey, we are in Orlando. Can we crash at your place?" HAHAHAHA. Thank goodness we had a large home and a few inflatable mattresses. LOL. Our families received a free continental breakfast (and sometimes dinner) AND free stay. LOL. But they missed out on the towel animals.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

We go down a day early and spend the day with DH's uncle and spend the night there (he's 30 minutes from WDW). The next morning we check into Disney. We also welcome him to the resort to spend an evening with us but he isn't a Disney person.

He also has cousins and grandparents in the area too. They always ask us to go visit them but DH tells them that we are busy for the week. They never call us when they come up to NJ so we feel no guilt! They also want us to go out and see them. They either live in Tampa and Miami. After driving from NJ to FL there is NO way I'm sticking my kids in the car for another multiple hour trip! DH agrees with me too! We offered them to come out to the resort one day and they said they couldn't.

DH and i were having the discussion about them wanting us to see them and a lady next to me agreed completely! She said it's ridiculous that people come to FL from miles away and that family wants you to go even further to visit them. She said her family does this and she refuses too!!! She invites them to see her at the resort and they decline!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

My BIL lives about an hour from WDW. He and my DH are not close. We've been to WDW 25+ times and I think we've met up with them twice.

 

[elleherself]

I live about 3 hours south of Disney (in Fort Lauderdale) and have family scattered from here to Jacksonville. For me it's not a big problem. We get together when we can and are all understanding when we can't. It is not a big pressure thing-- if we know we are going to be in each other's areas and have time, then we take it for granted that we will get together-- and if we don't get together, it's with an unspoken understanding that there just wasn't time this trip.

We also make certain to get together at other times. So we work with "if it works out, great, if not, no big deal, catch you next time". But living so close it's very different.

I know if I was going to be on the other side of the country, say, within an hour of my brother in San Francisco, and didn't call to hang out or get together... yeah, he would be offended. And I would feel like the trip was wasted! A big part of vacation is about strengthening family and friendships.

I would do as others suggested, and take an evening or two from your trip to get together with friends. This doesn't have to mean they tour along with you or anything, but I think it's courteous and in the end time well spent maintaining those family and friendship bonds.

 

[WDSearcher]

Maybe I should have been more clear...I have traveled to Florida specifically to visit some of the friends and family that live there (and not gone to WDW). And I do love them and value our relationships. That being said, there are friends and family that we love to vacation with and others who's styles just do not match ours so we don't. On this trip, we are traveling with six family members who live in other states and it's about spending time with THEM...so that makes scheduling time for anyone else even more difficult.

That does make it far more clear. If you visit them at other times of the year, fairly regularly, then there's no obligation to see them just because you happen to be there. In that case, perhaps remind them of your last visit with them or about your next one that's scheduled and tell them that you'll be sure to bring all the WDW photos! (Or, don't tell them at all, and then if they are hurt, remind them that you're coming down to visit them later in the year.) Now ... if you haven't seen some of these people in three or four years and have no plans to do so in the near future, then I would still advocate a few hours one afternoon for a get-together. But that's me.

...and as an aside...none of our friends/family from Florida ever invited us to come down for a visit while they visited WDW.

That's not really the same thing, though, is it? If your FL friends were going to WDW and invited you, would you truly be able to drop everything, plan a trip to WDW and go there to meet them? Probably not. They know you're in NY -- why would they call you and say, "Hey -- we're going to WDW in two weeks if you want to meet us there"? Unless they're willing to pay for it and plan it, that seems kind of silly. A better comparison would be whether or not they call you when they're in YOUR neck of the woods.