How did you know you had met the person you were going to marry?

[NeverlandClub23]

I definately do not believe in soulmates or the idea that there is one person out there for everyone. Just compatible people (some more compatible than others) meeting at the right time (emotionally or physically). I've been engaged twice and can honestly say I would've been happily married to either of those guys. Both I dated for 3 years (not at the same time ) and we had great relationships (hardly ever argued, common interests, etc.) but there was no passion or intensity (not meaning in the bedroom ). The guy I'm with now I hope I marry more than anyone I've ever met but I know if it didn't work out it would hurt, I wouldn't want to imagine my life without him, and it would take me awhile to get over but there's always more fish in the sea and there is absolutely nothing wrong with just being single either, if that's what you want.

Oh, and I've thought I was going to marry just about every guy I dated between 18-23

 

[rie'smom]

I knew when our first date was taking my son to a Mardi Gras parade. My son spent every other weekend with his dad. On the weekends he was home, DH, then BF, and I would take DS to the zoo or the park. Those weekends revolved around him. I knew that any man who enjoyed spending time with not just me but my son as well was a keeper.

 

[EMom]

I dated a lot. It was my hobby. Really, I got tired of guys quickly, so the dating period tended to be short and sweet and then I'd be on to the next one. Which was fine with me, because I had a great time. At some point, I began to think there was no such thing as a man who could keep my interest for more than three months and the problem was that I was hard to please.....Which meant I'd probably never get married. And I could live with that, because I was not going to settle. I had a mental list of the qualities I wanted in a potential husband, but it was just a wish list.


DH and I met in college and it took him 6 months to get up the nerve to ask me on a date, since he was shy. I kept dating the whole time, even though I was interested in him. I mean, if he wasn't going to ACT, I wasn't going to wait around on him. Once we went out, I'd say I knew within 3 weeks that I wanted to marry him. I'd dated enough to know he was "it." I told my roommates, "Hey, he's everything on my list, except for the 'independently wealthy' part. So he's only missing one thing." Later, he told me he knew in about 6 weeks. But we didn't say anything to each other for at least a year. We just dated.

My family figured it out pretty fast. Once he stayed past the three month mark, they figured he was a keeper. I still haven't gotten tired of him and it's been well over 2 decades now.

 

[wvjules]

I introduced myself, giggling like an idiot. I could not stop smiling no matter how badly I wanted to play it cool. I was just sitting there in pure delight that I just found my soul mate As I got to know her, there were so many wonderful things about her. I loved her smile, which is huge, and I loved her eyes, which are kind and gentle, and I loved her voice which speaks with such a tenderness it just gives me goose bumps. She's intense in that she wants to know everything about me. It's an adrenaline rush to be with her because nobody has ever looked so closely into who I am. She always wanted to know every single thing about me, oftentimes things I never even considered sharing with another person. It's scary at first to let somebody in that way, but exciting when you realize that this person knows everything about you, yet loves you anyway.

That is one of the sweetest/romantic things I have ever read. I wish you luck

 

[Nom]

Its great to hear these stories, keep them coming!

I am 33 and just got divorced last year after 12 years of marriage, so am just figuring out how to date and what is 'normal'. Seeing a man right now for about 3.5 months, and I had that star struck feeling of him being the one, but he feels like these things take time and that you can't really know for a while. I always had this feeling that when you meet 'the one', you should just know- but reading stories of others who it took a while for them seeing that their BF was 'the one' gives me a little bit more hope for this relationship!

so keep them coming, please!

 

[dcentity2000]

It didn't happen, but I came so close to proposing to my dear first gf. Went so far as to go perusing the rings!



Rich::

 

[eeyore65]

A couple of things. My DH (of almost 20 years) was the only BF that I couldn't wrap around my little finger. He was not at my beck and call and called me on my 20-something BS. He came off as a really cool guy and despite me being attracted to the challenge, I wasn't sure he would make a good mate.

Then, I saw him interact with a baby. This very handsome cool guy was making faces and trying to get the baby to giggle. Melted my heart.

And, he came to my rescue many times - car breaking down, issues at my apartment - all without complaint.

He was totally supportive of my career and education goals - even supported me while I got my Master's.

Lastly, my parents said they knew he was the one when he drove me to dinner at their house in a convertible sports car. We still have the car and I could never bear to sell it as it reminds me of our young love. It is about 40 years old now.

He has been a great husband - still is a challenge to me and I still find him interesting. He has been a great Dad. He still is coming to my rescue and has supported me in all I have wanted to achieve. All those early clues were really important.

 

[Lindsay22]

I had been dating a guy for three years when I met my DH. We met at school and worked on a project together. A few months later (on my 25th birthday) it was snowing. I walked about a mile from the train station to my apartment after work every day... it wasn't a big deal, but it was my birthday and it was snowing. He didn't pick me up. He went to the gym before he came over to my place. He didn't get me a present. That was when I realized that I didn't want to be with him. He was never going to marry me. He was never going to make time in his life for me. I mean really, if he couldn't take 10 minutes out of his day to pick me up in the snow on my birthday then I shouldn't be expecting much. I broke up with him that night.

The next day all of my friends went to a bar for my birthday and my best friend showed up with her brand new engagement ring and introduced her boyfriend as her fiance. I decided then that I was going to get rip roaring drunk and then I called the "cute guy from school". He came over that night and never left. I never in a million years expected to actually like him, let alone marry him... We just clicked. I liked being around him. I could be myself. He made me laugh. He made me food.

My birthday was in Feb. In June I was offered a job in Florida (we were living in NJ) I never expected him to want to move to Florida with me... never in a million years. In October we moved. We got engaged in Feb and we were married 14 months later. We were together for a total of 26 months before we got married.

 

[Sandy22]

It was love at first sight - which I never really believed in. We both knew we were soulmates the first night we met. He proposed 4 days later.

BTW - he was the very first man I met in person after I reluctantly joined an online dating site.

 

[Disney Doll]

Because it was easy.

By that I mean that I never had any angst with DH. If he said he was going to call, he called. If he said he would pick me up at 8:00, he was there. I didn't worry every minute that I had said or done something to make him angry and he was never going to call again. I didn't waorry about what he was doing when he wasn't with me.

Since I had always done all of the above with previous boyfriends, I thought it might mean that he was it.

I was right...together 21 years, married almost 18.

He says he knew the day we met. And he still says it all these years later when he really doesn't have to try and get on my good side any more!

 

[DISNEY1975]

I met my hubby in a club. I was dragged there by a friend who was going to meet a guy, but didnt want to go alone. I wasnt even dressed for a club, she sprung it on me at dinner that we were going to the club afterwards.

She met the guy and the 2 were gabbing away for an hour. I walked over to the bar and was waiting for the bartender when this drop dead gorgeous guy standing next to me said "Its busy tonight huh". (Wiping the drool fron my face) I said "Yes, it is".

He asked my name, asked if I go there often, if I lived nearby, if I liked dancing, if I was there with someone..etc...etc...etc....

Long story and 80,000 questions later, it was 6:00am. The club had closed at 2:00am and we had been in the parking lot for 4 hours talking. We exchanged numbers and left.

I went home to sleep, woke around 2:00pm and called everyone I knew to tell them I just met my future husband. At around 5:00 he called me and said he wanted to take me to dinner.

20 years later, we have 3 kids and Im doing all the cooking.

 

[hornedfrog]

A couple of things. My DH (of almost 20 years) was the only BF that I couldn't wrap around my little finger. He was not at my beck and call and called me on my 20-something BS. He came off as a really cool guy and despite me being attracted to the challenge, I wasn't sure he would make a good mate.

Then, I saw him interact with a baby. This very handsome cool guy was making faces and trying to get the baby to giggle. Melted my heart.

And, he came to my rescue many times - car breaking down, issues at my apartment - all without complaint.

He was totally supportive of my career and education goals - even supported me while I got my Master's.

Lastly, my parents said they knew he was the one when he drove me to dinner at their house in a convertible sports car. We still have the car and I could never bear to sell it as it reminds me of our young love. It is about 40 years old now.

He has been a great husband - still is a challenge to me and I still find him interesting. He has been a great Dad. He still is coming to my rescue and has supported me in all I have wanted to achieve. All those early clues were really important.

Loved reading this!

 

[DisneyJules]

Thanks guys, you all have such uniquely special and beautiful stories. I can honestly say it warms my heart to read all of these and be hopeful that love is out there.

 

[quentina]

My mom always told me, you will just know the minute you look at him.

So, 1990, just off an engagement to my HS sweetheart (went through HS together, I graduated in 89).

Went to a Kiss, Winger and Slaughter concert. In the seats across the arena was this incredible looking man.....long hair, thin, fringed coat...exactly my type.

Tell me friend....there is the guy for me.

Turns out, he has back stage passes and the entrance is under our section.

I take his photo with my disc camera (remember them)?? He askes to borrow it for his backstage experience, we exchange numbers and I spend 3 days waiting for the call.

I was 19 when we met, currently 38 and we celebrated our 15th anniversary in June.

Keep your chin up...everything happens for a reason, the breakup just means that there is someone better out there for you. I know it is hard to believe right now...but...it is true.

 

[EMom]

Some of these posts have brought to mind the very things that made me want to keep DH around longer than 3 months.

1. He did not grovel at my feet. I seemed to attract an inordinate amount of men who would do ANYTHING to make try and make me happy....to the point of trying too dang hard. It was tooooooo much. DH treated me with respect, but he did not fawn all over me like some puppy dog. That meant I could respect him.

2. He didn't play mind games. Ever. He was, and is, incapable of it. I never had to ask myself, "I wonder what he meant by that?" or "What is he really thinking?" He TOLD me what he meant and if he said something, then THAT was what he was thinking. When I thought about the amount of energy I could conserve and frustration I could avoid over the years by marrying someone who didn't play games, my heart jumped for joy.

3. He had the kindest heart.

4. He helped me when I needed it, without asking. Once I had the flu and I looked and felt terrible. After sweating with a fever all day, I probably didn't smell too lovely either. He came over after class with Gatorade and chicken soup to take care of me. And after seeing the horror that I could be, he came back for more.

5. He never let me down and always kept his word.

6. One of our first dates was to see Red Skelton, whom we had both adored as small children. Red was older than dirt and probably not long to this earth, so it was a golden opportunity. When his roommates' dates found out we were going, they were envious because THEY would have loved to have seen him too since we all grew up watching him. (We were all newly dating.) But THEIR dates hadn't gotten tickets, thinking that seeing Red Skelton wasn't cool and would make them look bad. DH didn't worry about whether he looked/seemed cool. He just asked me if I'd like to go and I said yes. The other guys didn't even ask their dates if they'd like to go, for fear of looking uncool. Yes, it was an odd sort of date, but it was a special evening if you had grown up with Red Skelton and I'll treasure it forever.

Basically, he was refreshingly honest and trustworthy. I knew he was solid and I'd always be able to count on him. He had a good sense of humor, good character, was handsome, and enjoyed talking about all sorts of things. He never bored me. He was the real deal.

 

[The Orchid]

Thanks guys, you all have such uniquely special and beautiful stories. I can honestly say it warms my heart to read all of these and be hopeful that love is out there.

It's out there! And honestly, most people I know tell me that it happens when they least expect it. There's so much to enjoy in life, so for now, try to occupy yourself with other interests and activities. Enjoy the things you like to do, enjoy your friends and your family. Don't be in too much of a hurry because if you are, you may settle for the wrong one. Try to be happy with your life as it is, that way you won't feel rushed. One day when you least expect it you will find yourself face to face with your life partner!

 

[rie'smom]

It's out there! And honestly, most people I know tell me that it happens when they least expect it. There's so much to enjoy in life, so for now, try to occupy yourself with other interests and activities. Enjoy the things you like to do, enjoy your friends and your family. Don't be in too much of a hurry because if you are, you may settle for the wrong one. Try to be happy with your life as it is, that way you won't feel rushed. One day when you least expect it you will find yourself face to face with your life partner!

Truer words were never spoken.
My boyfriend and I had broken up about 4 weeks earlier. I swore off men- hated the species, except for my son. My friend called and asked me to go out with her because my son was visiting his dad. Another friend was at the bar and introduced me to her cousin. I remembered the professor calling out his name in my ancient history class but he wasn't in class. So, I asked him where he had been. That was it. He chased me all over the bar that night, asked me if I wanted to go to a party at his house the next night. At the party, I told him that I had a son. He said great and he asked us to go to a Mardi Gras parade. That was 29 1/2 years ago.

 

[Stevania]

Bar.

 

[mpls_mm]

We both worked at a bar together. I was in college and was self centered and wouldn't date anyone with less than a BA. He was tattooed and pierced and lived in his moms basement. I don't think either of us knows how it happened but we have been together ever since. There is a passion and an explosiveness I can't even describe. We have been divorced and remarried and separated again. Our families don't even ask if we are together when we go to functions anymore. Even when we were divorced we spent every minute together. Sometimes that passion is anger and sometimes it's love, but it's never boring. 11 years, 2 children, the loss of another child, my parents divorce. I wouldn't trade any of it. We do get counseling to deal with some of the highs and lows, but I do know that we'll never have a boring, take each other for granted marriage.

 

[Angelhalo]

It's out there! And honestly, most people I know tell me that it happens when they least expect it.

Very true. I was on a date with another guy when I met my DH.