Here now, daughter is being impossible!!!(update page 3)

Discussion in 'disABILITIES!' started by My2CrazyGirls, Apr 29, 2012.

  1. My2CrazyGirls

    My2CrazyGirls DIS Veteran

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    I feel like I want to cry or scream. Our daughter won't walk, she won't go on rides even after we walk across the park because she says she wants to ride something. She stops walking and throws herself on the ground. She is rude to us, won't do what she is told or stop doing what she is told to stop doing. We only did a handful of things and we got to MK at Rope drop. And no we are not trying to do too much. We did not get a GAC and I don't think a GAC would have helped with any of our issues today. I hope the rest of the week gets better. I am extremely frustrated right now :(

    Btw, she is 7 w Asperger's. We also have a 5 year old who has her own issues. And they are constantly fighting. We are the happiest place on earth and I just want to enjoy it!
     
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  3. DLB

    DLB DIS Veteran

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    I have no advice for you, just simply a :hug:

    Hope it gets better for you!!!
     
  4. reindeer

    reindeer Reindeer

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    if you are staying on property with park hopper do short park visits. Do couple hours in park, have lunch, go back to hotel and let kids have down time, pool, play area or just TV time in the room. Disney can't be overwhelming for kids and especially kids on autism spectrum that have sensory issues. It better to enjoy a few rides and attractions than to be miserable trying to do it all. Good luck, hope it gets better for you.
     
  5. CozumelDisneyFan

    CozumelDisneyFan <font color=green>shooping cart hooks?..... Alumin

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    Hugs to you!
     
  6. kirstenb1

    kirstenb1 DIS Veteran

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    if you have access to the internet, go to Youtube, and show her the rides. Ask what she'd like to ride, and go with it. Our 6 yr old has mild autism, and is great if we hit the parks at opening, ride about 5-6 rides, and then eat lunch. Maybe another ride or 2 and she's done for the day. We go back to the room for a couple hours, and play with her Legos or Barbies. Then we have supper and usually hit the pool.

    Our last trip, we actually went to Animal Kingdom after dinner, and hit a couple of rides one night.

    Also, we have her stroller. If I were you, I would rent a stroller if you don't already have one. It seems to give a safe place to regroup from sensory overload, and all the crowds.

    We made so many mistakes over the years. The most important thing I learned is to do WDW at dd's pace. Our older dd and dh split off and do all the rides, etc. With our younger dd, I just ask what she wants to ride and we do that. Without our other dd and dh, there's no pressure to do anything in particular. For instance, we hit the MK at rope drop. We go to Buzz Lightyear, because the line for it gets long fast.

    Then we go to Winnie the Pooh, hit the 3d show with Donald Duck (cna''t remember the name), then Peter Pan. Those are her must=do's. We go to the Jungle Cruise (another one that gets crazy busy). After lunch, we hit Pirates and Haunted Mansion. If dd wants to skip something we do. Finally we hit lunch early, before noon, again to avoid crowds. We just do fast food.

    One thing that helps is to have familiar things in the room. Favorite toys, or movies she can watch on the Smart phone. She loves just walking around the resort. It can get a little frustrating, but it seems to make for a smoother trip.
     
  7. My2CrazyGirls

    My2CrazyGirls DIS Veteran

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    Thanks all. We showed her YouTube videos this past week before we got here. She was really excited to ride soarin, but they showed it here on the tv and now she is scared! We have never been on it but from what I read it is not scary! I hope she doesn't bail out at the last minute. If she won't ride then our 5 year old will get scared and not ride. Like I said our goals are very low, we are not trying to overdo anything. I am hoping after a good nights sleep today will be a better day. We are doing Epcot. We were here dec. 2010 so lots of things are familiar. We are at a different resort though, BC. We have a great room location, close to the Market Place.

    Oh the other thing is she won't cooperate for any pictures! I am not sure what is up w that! Sad we couldn't get one family picture on our first day. She wouldn't even take a picture w me at beaches and cream when we were waiting for our food. She keeps shutting down. Boy did she like that cheeseburger though!

    Thanks for the hugs :)
     
  8. SueM in MN

    SueM in MN combining the teacups with a roller coaster Moderator

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    I moved this from the disABILITIES Community Board to the disABILITIES Board.
    Sending hugs.

    Also, I would suggest getting a stroller or (if she's larger) a wheelchair for her. He sounds like she is totally overwhelmed with everything. A stroller or wheelchair would give her a safe haven to retreat to.
     
  9. Mrs.Malone

    Mrs.Malone DIS Veteran

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    :hug: With my ASD child, the second day is very frequently much better than the first. Hang in there, get a stroller like Sue suggested if you think it might help DD at all, divide and conquer (split up for certain rides or for parts of the day).
     
  10. seashoreCM

    seashoreCM All around nice guy.

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    Why not just go along with her. If she stops, you move her out of the way of other guests and wait until she is ready to move on. If she insists on going off somewhere that is not safe or proper, then restrain her with a big hug.

    Try taking candid impromptu pictures instead of posed pictures.
     
  11. I Love Pluto

    I Love Pluto DIS Veteran<br><font color=green>I guess that make

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    Hopefully, things will get easier each day. :goodvibes

    Above all else - try not to let the situation get to you so that you lose control. (I know that's easier said than done!)

    God Bless You! :hug:


    Patience...patience...patience...take a deep breath...patience... :hug:
     
  12. Nik's Mom

    Nik's Mom Karl Pilkington is a genius

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    Sometimes it's all too overwhelming for kids with special needs, especially in the beginning. Maybe it's too noisy. On the first day, my youngest usually has to wear noise cancelling headphones. I hope things get better. And I strongly suggest you get a GAC.
     
  13. dclfun

    dclfun DIS Veteran

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    Is she able to help plan? If so, I would let her know exactly what's going to happen from hour to hour or even moment to moment if possible. For instance, she could choose the attractions on the map the night before, then when you get there, show here the map with everything circled and let her know the order in which you'll be going to them, then when snack or lunch or break will be. I also strongly suggest getting a stroller and having it tagged to use as a w/c. You can bring a blanket from the resort room to drape over it if she needs a more private space or some darkness.

    I hope things get better and that you can all enjoy your trip. {{{hugs}}}
     
  14. Mom2six

    Mom2six DIS Veteran

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    I think the idea to get her a stroller is an excellent one. It can do a few things for you: give her a place to sort of hide if she is feeling overwhelmed
    eliminate part of the problem of stopping and throwing herself to the ground (which may be from too much stimulation, feeling overwhelmed, or anxiety)
    allow her time to relax before getting to the ride, and maybe approach it from a less stressed place

    Good luck! If you can't get her to ride things (and I seriously doubt my 4 year old will go on a single ride willingly) you may want to try rider swap. Is there anything else in the park that she likes?

    For instance, I have a feeling my DS will insist on standing outside of the aquarium at Epcot looking at Nemo and the birds for a very long time. Or there may be another statue or picture that catches his imagination. It may not be what I planned out, but if it makes him happy and is what he wants from the park, then okay fine.

    I know you are trying to go at the girls pace and make them happy! Sometimes, they just don't want to cooperate and it can be so hard to figure out what will make them happy. Good luck and I hope you enjoy some of your vacation. :)
     
  15. ZehnJahren

    ZehnJahren DIS Veteran

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    How frustrating! Here: :hug:

    I don't have a lot to add since I don't deal with anyone on the autism spectrum. However, one thing I WOULD like to say is that this could be a wonderful opportunity for either dad or mom to take the five year old for some one-on-one time to go ride some rides, watch some shows, have a mickey bar. Take a little time each day and trade off with kids, and go spend some time with them alone. Yes, it's a family vacation, but if you're having these kinds of issues there's no reason that everyone should have to be involved in the melt down - and you don't necessarily have to split for the whole day. It might actually make it easier to take a two-three hour time frame and separate everyone!

    Hope everything gets better fast! New experiences are tough on almost all kids, plus Disney is FULL of people, sounds, music, yelling, mechanics, etc, so you've got a double whammy; good luck to your family!
     
  16. bookwormde

    bookwormde <font color=darkorchid>Heading out now, another ad

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    Yes see if she will do a stroller, often that will solve a multitude of issues.

    Just enjoy being with your child and take the approach that there is nothing you have to do.

    WDW us a bit of an experiment with our kids

    good luck and try to relax, it is hard for her not to be anxious and frustrated if you are
    Lots of deep breaths and virtual hugs all around
     
  17. lovethattink

    lovethattink DIS Veteran

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    We were at the MK yesterday and Saturday. Saturday ds only made it an hour in the heat (and we are locals) and we had to go home.

    MK was pretty full both Sat and Sun. On Saturday we only did one attraction, Philharmagic. On Sunday we didn't do any attractions, he played Sorcerers of the magic kingdom almost the entire time.

    Feel free to look at my continuous TR, we definately do Disney differently. My son is 8.

    There is so much stimulation at the park. We use a medical stroller. This helps both when he refuses to walk, when he can't walk, and when he needs an escape from people. We have a Convaid Cruiser. I know there use to be places in Orlando that rent them, not sure if there is anymore. We bring ear phones to reduce noise, a brush for Wilbarger brushing, a light of some sort for dark rides (sometimes a glow stick bracelet or something like that), and ice to keep him cool. Also some kind of a toy to play with while waiting in lines. Saturday it was dh's phone he played games on, yesterday it was Duffy dressed as Buzz, whatever he needs for healthy stimming, usually gum or apples.

    I hope the rest of your trip goes better!
     
  18. Southerndisney

    Southerndisney Mouseketeer

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    I hope today was a better day for your family. If you have not gotten a GAC yet, please get one. You can use it where you need to. It is the only way we made it through with our daughter.
     
  19. ireland_nicole

    ireland_nicole <font color=green>No brainer- the fairy wins it<br

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    Hope today went better- I agree with all the pp's, we do everything they do, and it makes our trips a lot better. If you have time tonight, make a schedule for tomorrow. My kids are lost if they don't have them, but knowing what will come next is a lifesaver for us.
     
  20. SenecaWolf

    SenecaWolf I let my mind wander and it didn't come back!

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    I agree with the sensory overload issues. My DD16 has been doing great for years and within the first few hours at Disney she reverted back to behaviors I haven't seen since she was much younger. She had me in tears the first 2 days there because I didn't expect it. I definitely found that shorter park days with some pool time/down time at the resort helped her to regroup and made things alot more enjoyable for her brother and i. Good luck to you on your trip :cool1:
     
  21. robin09

    robin09 DIS Veteran

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    First off :hug:.. I know firsthand how horrid this is. I know suggestions have been given already, the stroller (DD was in one until 9, with the canopy to shield her. Sunglasses that can block the light, noise lessening headphones.. and the GAC.... There are some days that after 1 hour it was too much for her... The stimulation, noise, people... it's rough for them. I've learned, let her sleep, and when she gets up , that's when my day starts.. I have my kindle, crochet, and just let her get up on her time schedule.. I've found rope drops are not good for us. I found more meltdowns would also come when she needed something to eat.

    DD is now 13 and we are doing Disney this August (it's a surprise), she brings soooo much the whole backseat is filled, dolls, blankets, books. DH blows a fit each time.. but it's the only thing that works..she NEEDS those things , the comfort... it's her security when out of her home.... Maybe she's needs some security?

    Anyway :hug::hug: it does get better!
     

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