Help... I have a situation....

[Ginny Favers]

All right... I don't know what to do. I just heard about this situation literally 10 minutes ago and I am still trying to process.

DD5 is in summer camp. She really loves it there. But yesterday she told me that while she was at the public pool with the camp, she went into the bathroom there alone.

I know they're not supposed to let children her age do that, so I told her that from now on, she needed to get a counselor before she went in, and that I would tell the director that they needed to reinforce this rule with the counselors. DD said, "What's the big deal? I wasn't kidnapped." And then it eventually turned into the discussion we've had several times, where I reminded her about her privates and that no one should touch them.

Then, she proceeds to tell me that at the playground the day before, two boys at camp were touching her privates and she tried to get away but they wouldn't leave her alone and kept doing it. And that she told a teacher but nothing happened. I was floored. She gave me the names of the boys but did not know the name of the teacher who she told. I asked her to show me exactly where they touched her, and she pointed to the area between her legs.

Well, I ran in there and spoke to the woman at the front desk. She gave me the number and email of the director and now I have a meeting with them. But I'm just so floored.... still processing.... I feel like I need to take her out of there.

What would you do?

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

All right... I don't know what to do. I just heard about this situation literally 10 minutes ago and I am still trying to process.

DD5 is in summer camp. She really loves it there. But yesterday she told me that while she was at the public pool with the camp, she went into the bathroom there alone.

I know they're not supposed to let children her age do that, so I told her that from now on, she needed to get a counselor before she went in, and that I would tell the director that they needed to reinforce this rule with the counselors. DD said, "What's the big deal? I wasn't kidnapped." And then it eventually turned into the discussion we've had several times, where I reminded her about her privates and that no one should touch them.

Then, she proceeds to tell me that at the playground the day before, two boys at camp were touching her privates and she tried to get away but they wouldn't leave her alone and kept doing it. And that she told a teacher but nothing happened. I was floored. She gave me the names of the boys but did not know the name of the teacher who she told. I asked her to show me exactly where they touched her, and she pointed to the area between her legs.

Well, I ran in there and spoke to the woman at the front desk. She gave me the number and email of the director and now I have a meeting with them. But I'm just so floored.... still processing.... I feel like I need to take her out of there.

What would you do?

I would absolutely pull her.

And then, depending on the stuation was handled by the camp, I would maybe press charges. They need to monitor the kids better.

 

[DawnM]

My child would not be there and the police would have been called.

 

[Poohforyou]

I'm not one to overreact and always believe everything my child tells me but in your situation I would remove my child from the camp. I would also likely call the nonemergency police number & speak with someone. The fact that everyone at this camp seems unconcerned by what you've told them is a big red flag in my book.

 

[donaldlovesdaisy]

I would not send my child back until I at least talked to the director and I am really not sure after that because it seems like safety is not a big concern for the counselors.. Did she say how old these boys were? surely if they are in day camp they are old enough to know better. Sounds like the counselors are a little lax on the job or they teenagers? Good Luck hopefully you can get things worked out.

 

[littleteapot]

All right... I don't know what to do. I just heard about this situation literally 10 minutes ago and I am still trying to process.

DD5 is in summer camp. She really loves it there. But yesterday she told me that while she was at the public pool with the camp, she went into the bathroom there alone.

I know they're not supposed to let children her age do that, so I told her that from now on, she needed to get a counselor before she went in, and that I would tell the director that they needed to reinforce this rule with the counselors. DD said, "What's the big deal? I wasn't kidnapped." And then it eventually turned into the discussion we've had several times, where I reminded her about her privates and that no one should touch them.

Then, she proceeds to tell me that at the playground the day before, two boys at camp were touching her privates and she tried to get away but they wouldn't leave her alone and kept doing it. And that she told a teacher but nothing happened. I was floored. She gave me the names of the boys but did not know the name of the teacher who she told. I asked her to show me exactly where they touched her, and she pointed to the area between her legs.

Well, I ran in there and spoke to the woman at the front desk. She gave me the number and email of the director and now I have a meeting with them. But I'm just so floored.... still processing.... I feel like I need to take her out of there.

What would you do?

What the boys did was CRIMINAL. Of course, your child is never going back into that situation. You need to meet with the director and watch her call the police to investigate. Rule #1 - Protect your child.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I'm not one to overreact and always believe everything my child tells me but in your situation I would remove my child from the camp. I would also likely call the nonemergency police number & speak with someone. The fact that everyone at this camp seems unconcerned by what you've told them is a big red flag in my book.

That is my biggest issue as well.

It is absolutely a problem that your DD was touched(I am so sory to hear that BTW), but if it was two other five year olds what do you do?

The camp is the biggest problem here IMO.

 

[luvsJack]

Does your dd know if the boys are the same age as she is?

I would definitely be talking to the director about the lax in supervision. 3 kids were out of someone's line of sight long enough for this to happen. Not good at all.

I would be pulling her from there for that reason alone.

 

[goofy4tink]

Similar story, sort of. My dd is now 18. But, when she was at preschool camp, when she was just shy of 5, she had a similar issue with a few of the boys. I walked in to pick her up, and she told me that 'x' and 'y' told her to lie down, behind a tree and they were going to 'play doctor' so they could check her out!! Now, I know this is pretty normal for kids..happens all the time, be it in camp, at home or at a friend's house. It happens.
Now, in this case, the teachers were all out on the field. I did go over to one of the teachers that my dd particularly liked, and told her what had happened. She was not happy to say the least since the kids were always supposed to be within eyesight!! It seems that a teenager had been told to watch that area and she had not been 100% 'on duty'. The teacher I spoke to told me the teenager would be disciplined, and possibly let go. Also that the boys' parents would be notified. The boys hadn't done anything so awful..but it was noteworthy. And it wasn't going to be tolerated at the school/camp.

Now, I'm not saying that kids doing this should be let to go on with the behavior. What I am saying is that the adults in charge need to step up and do what's right. Yes, kids are curious. But, that shouldn't be okay at the camp. Kids need to understand that when they tell an adult about something that makes them uncomfortable, they will be listened to, and the issue dealt with. Your dd's counselor didn't do that. Shame!!!! I would pull my dd out of that camp immediately.

 

[Rylee]

All right... I don't know what to do. I just heard about this situation literally 10 minutes ago and I am still trying to process.

DD5 is in summer camp. She really loves it there. But yesterday she told me that while she was at the public pool with the camp, she went into the bathroom there alone.

I know they're not supposed to let children her age do that, so I told her that from now on, she needed to get a counselor before she went in, and that I would tell the director that they needed to reinforce this rule with the counselors. DD said, "What's the big deal? I wasn't kidnapped." And then it eventually turned into the discussion we've had several times, where I reminded her about her privates and that no one should touch them.

Then, she proceeds to tell me that at the playground the day before, two boys at camp were touching her privates and she tried to get away but they wouldn't leave her alone and kept doing it. And that she told a teacher but nothing happened. I was floored. She gave me the names of the boys but did not know the name of the teacher who she told. I asked her to show me exactly where they touched her, and she pointed to the area between her legs.

Well, I ran in there and spoke to the woman at the front desk. She gave me the number and email of the director and now I have a meeting with them. But I'm just so floored.... still processing.... I feel like I need to take her out of there.

What would you do?

Do NOT send her back to that camp!

You need to get to the bottom of this.

What rules and procedures do they have for attending to a child's bathroom needs?
Who was supposed to be supervising the children while these boys were touching your daughter, and where were they?
Why was nothing done when she told the person in charge?
Why weren't you informed?
How old were these boys?

 

[Jennasis]

Echoing what the others said, you pull her out of camp right this second and you contact the police to find out your options as far as pressing charges...this way you are armed with all of your options when you meet with the director.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Does your dd know if the boys are the same age as she is?

I would definitely be talking to the director about the lax in supervision. 3 kids were out of someone's line of sight long enough for this to happen. Not good at all.

I would be pulling her from there for that reason alone.

This!

 

[abdmom]

Echoing what the others said, you pull her out of camp right this second and you contact the police to find out your options as far as pressing charges...this way you are armed with all of your options when you meet with the director.

Do NOT send her back to that camp!

You need to get to the bottom of this.

What rules and procedures do they have for attending to a child's bathroom needs?
Who was supposed to be supervising the children while these boys were touching your daughter, and where were they?
Why was nothing done when she told the person in charge?
Why weren't you informed?
How old were these boys?

Both of these. In this order.

 

[Ginny Favers]

Thank you, good to see I am not overreacting. She is not at camp today so I am trying to get to the bottom of it.

The boys are her age (5 and 6).

My daughter, like a lot of 5 year olds, can embellish and tell me things that she knows will get a reaction from me, but I'm not taking any chances.

I have a feeling from the way she explained it to me was that she was climbing and boys were just reaching up and touching between her legs, and she was fully-clothed. When she said that "nothing happened" after she told the teacher, I asked, "Well, did they keep doing it?" and she just shrugged and refused to talk more about it (it's hard to pry info out of her sometimes).

When I meet with the director today, I will see how concerned they are over this. The woman at the front desk did seem concerned. I want to talk to the counselor she told and see what her side of the story is, and try to figure out why they didn't inform me (they are usually good about keeping me informed).

 

[Erin1700]

Glad you pulled her out.

I would contact the police. If nothing else, it will then keep the teachers on their toes from now on. And as far as the boys go, you just never know. Maybe someone is doing it to them and you can actually help them by pressing this issue.

 

[torinsmom]

As a teacher of 4/5 year olds, I would be concerned about supervision in general and about what happened when your child reported that the boys had touched her. I am not surprised it happened; kids that age are curious about differences in their bodies and it is usually not sexual to them. If the boys were older, I would think a lot more of it. If that happened when my class was on the playground, I would talk to the kids involved and make sure they were aware that private parts are not to be touched by others. I would also let the parents of the involved students know what had happened and how it was handled.

 

[Heidict]

Sorry you are having to go through this OP. I hope that you are able to get some answer and resolutions when you meet with the director today. You have gotten some great advice on here.

Please let us know how it goes.

 

[dimimi]

I do think the situation is different because of the age of the kids. But...all kids needs to know they do NOT touch other children. To do it in front of others is especially concerning because they obviously didn't know they were going to "get in trouble." I think you should have been told immediately and the other children's parents too. (Of course, it often times takes a while to get the whole story.)

I think it is very wrong that she is sent to the rest room alone. Due to staffing, that is often a problem at camps/preschools. (I am assuming that the rest of the group was outside.) I used to be a day care director. The state law was: We needed to be able to see, hear and assess every child...all the time. Think of it logically, if there were 2 teachers and 20 4 year olds...and one went to the restroom, which was down the hall....one teacher would stand in the door way to "listen" to see if the child in the bathroom needed help. If she went with the child, then the classroom would have been over ratio.

 

[mjkacmom]

In this situation, I would leave my child home, and meet with them. Due to the ages of the kids involved, I would consider this more of a harassment issue, and kids being unsupervised, and not a sex crime. In my mind, this would be equal to my child being pushed, and the kids not being disciplined, and kids not being watched enough.

The bathroom thing wouldn't bother me as much - kids in school go to the bathroom without an adult.

 

[torinsmom]

It actually doesn't take that long to get the whole story from kids that age, because even if they have been told not to touch "privates", they really don't see doing so as something terrible. It is a matter of fact discussion, and I find kids that age are usually very honest. You reiterate the rule and either have the offenders sit and think about it or send them off to play. Then you contact parents and let them know what happened and that at this age, it is totally normal, and that you will have more talks about private parts with the kids. Now, if it is habitual, it is referred to guidance.

As far as bathroom, we have our kids go in pairs, and one of the pair has to be a kindergartener. This is only at recess and lunch, as we have a bathroom in our classroom. If it is a child we know gets into trouble, one of us will got with that child. We like to keep a 2:20 ratio, so one of us going every time is not possible, and not a policy at our school(partner thing is)