HELP! Husband is a picky eater....

[buddyjo143]

It's a different issue but I'm reminded of the spouses of alcoholics, trying to fix everything for the other person. Your DH is a grownup so he can solve his own problem, then it is not your problem. You can also order that extra meal, no translation of menu terms required. Then he, or you, are welcome to sample another dish.

 

[madrigal_singer]

What if you print out the menus for him ahead of time, and then he can research online the meaning of the food descriptions so he feels comfortable with what the terms mean without them having to be filtered through you? Google doesn't care about him trying new things, so it should be a reliable source!

 

[Evoga]

Your husband has great taste that's all

I am just like your husband and I am dreading the food in the MDR's. My plan is to just nibble at the tiny bits of food they serve (while trying to look happy to my wife) and hold out till the ordeal is over and pick up some food from on deck or room service.

 

[cmwade77]

I suggest making a list of what he normally would eat at home, then send an email to guest special requests and let them know the types of things he would eat at home and would want on the cruise, they will let you know who you should talk to even before going to dinner for the first night and also let the servers know, they can really accommodate a lot more than you may think.

 

[DCSWO]

But he's missing out on so much great food! I would pass onto him the multiple good suggestions that have been mentioned here, recommend he look into it (or don't if he just wants to complain) but most importantly, tell him that you don't want to hear the complaining on your cruise. He's been there before so he now knows what to expect. He should be considerate that you enjoy the food and you would like to do so without his whining. Enjoy your cruise!

 

[#NotMyName]

I'm married to a picky eater too. My plan is to encourage him to let breakfast and lunch be his big meals on days at sea -- lots to choose from at Cabanas and elsewhere. That way it won't be a problem if there isn't much to his liking on the dinner menus. I'm also hoping they will be able to offer Caesar salads at dinner -- that is one of his back up items. Unfortunately, this strategy won't work for the days in port where lunch will likely just be a snack (because our excursions will keep us pretty busy). I will remind him that if something arrives that is not to his liking, he can order something else (although I am not sure he would do so). And sometimes he surprises me by ordering and eating something I never imagined he would try.

 

[squirk]

FUSSY EATER, 38
OMAHA, NE—According to sources, local fussy eater Bryan Wilcox, who is known for refusing to eat any type of food he hasn’t tried before or that falls outside of his narrow zone of comfort, is 38 years old. “Can I just get it plain, without sauce?” asked the adult man, who was born in 1975, has a 401k, a spouse, and two young children, yet frowns and shakes his head at the sight of shellfish, most varieties of vegetable, or any sandwich that hasn’t first had its crust removed. “Is it touching tomatoes? I don’t want it if it’s touching tomatoes.” Sources later confirmed that Wilcox, a fully grown human, just pushed his food around his plate until he got to have dessert.

http://www.theonion.com/article/fussy-eater-38-35011

 

[FigmentSpark]

I'm married to a picky eater too. My plan is to encourage him to let breakfast and lunch be his big meals on days at sea -- lots to choose from at Cabanas and elsewhere. That way it won't be a problem if there isn't much to his liking on the dinner menus. I'm also hoping they will be able to offer Caesar salads at dinner -- that is one of his back up items. Unfortunately, this strategy won't work for the days in port where lunch will likely just be a snack (because our excursions will keep us pretty busy). I will remind him that if something arrives that is not to his liking, he can order something else (although I am not sure he would do so). And sometimes he surprises me by ordering and eating something I never imagined he would try.

This might be a good strategy. Your DH could get his burger before going to the MDR and then just have light items or bread with the family. If the servers know he's not interested in anything from the menu, but would love some extra rolls, they'll bring them.

The menus are all on the Navigator, so your DH would be able to check out the menu before ever going to the MDR. This would also help him to be prepared, either by eating beforehand or deciding if there's something he wants to try.

 

[GBBTomorrow]

Wow...with all due respect friends, I am ok with people helping out and giving their opinions on how something could be dealt with in a constructive manner, but seriously....attacking my husband's character because YOU couldn't handle one of the few "irritating" habits that he has??? I don't remember asking for that. I have been a member of the DISboards for a long time and I have often seen unkind comments and I always try to put a positive spin on things. I am more than a little disappointed in some of the replies I have gotten. Maybe some of you would just "ignore him" or "leave him behind" but that is the joy of him NOT being your husband of 16 years. Thanks again to those who actually gave me a reply I can do something with instead of criticizing my husband, which is my place and not yours.

Hi OP. I honestly did not mean any offense. In your initial post, you referred to your husband as "juvenile" and like a "kid," and you sounded very frustrated about it. I understand that, as all of our spouses do things that drive us bananas. Since you brought it up, I responded with how I would handle the situation in a way that would minimize that frustration you seemed to express. I was simply suggesting to put it in his hands so that you don't have to stress over it, since it sounded like that stress would put a damper on your vacation. I also offered a specific suggestion for a way your husband could get his dietary needs met.

I apologize for making you feel bad. That was certainly not my intent.

 

[GBBTomorrow]

Genius! You must be a therapist or a teacher...or someone really into psychology.

Guilty as charged. Teacher and academic coach.

 

[cadien]

I don't think asking about the menus in advance of the trip is any more "making it her problem" or "trying to fix his problems" than any other research for an upcoming vacation. Travel planning is all usually done by just one person, not divided up, and it doesn't make them an enabler. And getting helpful information now means that there's nothing for anyone to be "miserable" about on the cruise.

 

[kuhltiffany]

I'd address this now, rather than waiting until your cruise, you don't want negative memories of it! You can find the menus (people post them) online. Take a look at them now and "decode" what they mean. You can play around with combinations, like a meat from one, side from another, or repeat an order from another night as long as it's also being served in another dining room. That may allow you to piece together some options he's comfortable with.

He can also order room service or eat top deck some nights, maybe you could take turns with that and the main dining rooms so you both get a varied experience…

Have fun!

 

[Dug720]

I don't think asking about the menus in advance of the trip is any more "making it her problem" or "trying to fix his problems" than any other research for an upcoming vacation. Travel planning is all usually done by just one person, not divided up, and it doesn't make them an enabler. And getting helpful information now means that there's nothing for anyone to be "miserable" about on the cruise.

Interesting to read how other families do it. I guess the ages involved has a lot to do with it, but ever since my sister and I were older elementary/middle school we have been able to participate in the research and planning - and as we got old enough to take responsibility for our own things and do our own things, we could do our own research for that.

And we definitely each take responsibility for our own "issues" be it with food or activity likes/dislikes.

Food example: knowing we are going to the beach in a few weeks and knowing where we usually go eat out, I have already done research for places that either have gluten-free dishes marked or have things that naturally are or are easily made gluten-free so that I don't have to be "that person" whining and fussing about not finding anything to eat. I think that is why a few people have suggested that the OP's husband take a little responsibility for his food issues by looking at the menus (easily found on Scott's site) and looking up stuff he doesn't understand in the privacy of his home so he can know what things are and not have to worry about "looking silly" or something. Scott also has a few kids' menus so the husband can look at those as well.

I don't think it's too much to ask someone - especially an adult - to own his (or her) stuff and do a little legwork to make vacation more enjoyable for all.

 

[Weedy]

Everyone's marriage/family works differently.
Chill people.

 

[Mark D.]

Our son is also a very picky eater, and we've found the servers are usually pretty accommodating for him, especially if they know a day or two in advance about what off-menu items he might like. We've had them bring hotdogs, grilled cheese (well, a cheese panini), and even spaghetti made with normal noodles (instead of wheat or linguini) and plain sauce. The spaghetti required some notice, but the hotdog and grilled cheese were requested right then. Regardless of the night, items like cheese pizza, chicken tenders, and French fries seem to be available even if they aren't on the menu. Other than portion size, I don't see why accommodating an adult would be any different than a child.

Worst case scenario, rather than having your husband eat separately, what if he were to be seated with you so he could check out the menu (maybe order an appetizer or plain salad -- Caesar salad seems to always be available even if not on the menu). Then, if there wasn't anything else he wanted he could run up to the quick serve places and grab a plate to bring back to the MDR. That way, you are eating together as a family and not having to adjust your schedule to fit in a "second" dining time for him. It would surprise me if the servers let this happen more than once or twice before they figured out better a solution to get your husband something more to his liking.

 

[Pkltm]

While that might be very true, and sure, I could "blame myself" for opening myself up to this....can someone please tell me where the joy comes for them in making unnecessary character judgments on my husband or how exactly that serves to be helpful in a forum where I am seeking constructive assistance?? I see this ALL the time on this site and I have to wonder why people can't reserve their judgments to simply answering with helpful suggestions. Until today, I have never made an angry or judgmental post on any forum because I try to help people. I guess I just wish other people could do the same instead of feeling like this is the place for them to judge those they know nothing about.

I do honestly agree that sometimes people should be nicer on these boards, but you also need to read your original post you called him juvenile and compared likened him to being a kid. That was the most judgemental thing that I read on this thread. You came looking for suggestions of what he could eat, but being a member of these boards for a long time you must of suspected it could go the other way too.

That being said, I also married a picky eater who would complain constantly and refuse to try new things, he used to eat a diet much like that of your husband. What helped him improve his tune was when we sat down and discussed that his eating habits and table behaviors were rubbing off on DS. He saw it too, he started to just order things differently and ask questions of the server. Once his father passed from cancer and the doctor told the family that his diet could of been a factor in the disease and it's progression, DH completely changed his attitude. I never saw my FIL eat a piece if fruit or vegetable, now DH eats them everyday.

 

[Barbydoll8]

I commend you for being a loving wife and looking for a solution to help not only your husband but your experience on the cruise too. It's my understanding that if it's available on the quick service menu, the MDR's can get it for you.
I can tell you that on my Wonder 2014 cruise we hit some unusually high winds which did not agree with me so I wasn't in an eating mood. Our servers knew it and offered me anything I wanted. Anything and they would have it made for me. Scrambled eggs at dinner even if I wanted them. They just wanted to make sure I ate well. They will accommodate you and him as much as they can. It just takes a little extra planning and working with them to make it happen. Your head waiter can find out what is available in the kitchen that day and you can preorder earlier in the day or the day before. They do this for special dietary needs as well to ensure everyone enjoys their meals. The MDR's are an experience on Disney cruise line and not just a dining hall.
You should also check the lunch menus from the sit down options on board. These things probably could be had at dinner too and they tend to be a bit simpler in choice.
I think you should make a list of things he would eat and go see the head server the first day of the cruise and see if something can be done for him. Meatball sandwiches, burgers etc.
There is always a solution and I hope you enjoy your cruise without having to fret about this or what anyone else thinks.

 

[cheribelle]

You mentioned he loves chocolate chip cookies. My son (also picky) loves the cookies in Cabanas. He is not into any of the other desserts (including Mickey Bars). I asked our waiter the first night about maybe getting some of those cookies each night for dessert. They were more than accommodating as every night we had a huge dish of cookies at our table after dinner.

 

[mevelandry]

Interesting to read how other families do it. I guess the ages involved has a lot to do with it, but ever since my sister and I were older elementary/middle school we have been able to participate in the research and planning - and as we got old enough to take responsibility for our own things and do our own things, we could do our own research for that.

And we definitely each take responsibility for our own "issues" be it with food or activity likes/dislikes.

Food example: knowing we are going to the beach in a few weeks and knowing where we usually go eat out, I have already done research for places that either have gluten-free dishes marked or have things that naturally are or are easily made gluten-free so that I don't have to be "that person" whining and fussing about not finding anything to eat. I think that is why a few people have suggested that the OP's husband take a little responsibility for his food issues by looking at the menus (easily found on Scott's site) and looking up stuff he doesn't understand in the privacy of his home so he can know what things are and not have to worry about "looking silly" or something. Scott also has a few kids' menus so the husband can look at those as well.

I don't think it's too much to ask someone - especially an adult - to own his (or her) stuff and do a little legwork to make vacation more enjoyable for all.

I think it can be a matter of confidence/lack of confidence...

My husband lacks confidence when it comes to planning trips. He has no clue how to do it, doesn't have the patience to make researches and compare items. Most of the time the only three questions I'll get are:

1) When are we going?
2) What did you pick? (hotel, restaurants, activities)
3) How much do I owe you? ( I pay everything with my credit card to get air lines points)

Family and friends tend to call me when they want a vacation or a week-end out of town because they know I'm obsessed with travelling and love doing research. Apparently they trust my judgment in that area.

 

[Dug720]

I think it can be a matter of confidence/lack of confidence...

My husband lacks confidence when it comes to planning trips. He has no clue how to do it, doesn't have the patience to make researches and compare items. Most of the time the only three questions I'll get are:

1) When are we going?
2) What did you pick? (hotel, restaurants, activities)
3) How much do I owe you? ( I pay everything with my credit card to get air lines points)

Family and friends tend to call me when they want a vacation or a week-end out of town because they know I'm obsessed with travelling and love doing research. Apparently they trust my judgment in that area.

Ok, overall planning I guess makes sense. Not how we do it, but that's why there is chocolate and vanilla.

But this is a specific case where the person reportedly is apparently uncomfortable asking about things he doesn't understand on menus. Things that are very easy to find online. I just personally don't think it is asking that much to show him the menus - possibly even print them out so he doesn't have to toggle between tabs or something - and let him look the things up so he knows what he wants to get.

And I say this as someone (as I have said) who does have food issues - gluten-free and there are some things (fish, mushrooms, veal, birds other than turkey and chicken - and I am allergic to peanuts) in my case. While I know that my mom does do research as well regarding restaurants and recipes she can prepare when I am at home, I also do my own research because *I* am the one with a food issue and I feel that as an adult I need to take responsibility for my own stuff. (Obviously if we are talking about an actual child there is a big difference. But we are talking about an adult who the OP stated herself acts like a child regarding food.)

I don't know - maybe I'm weird that way. I would just never expect anyone else to take responsibility for my issues.