Having a very hard time with DS going off to college

[HERSEY]

Hey everyone!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

I've been thinking of all of you ladies and your kiddos! Hope we all have a very Merry Christmas celebrating with ALL of our loved ones!

Add us to all of the breakup drama. Yesterday (day before Christmas ) DS's girlfriend broke up with him. He saw it coming so isn't devastated. he said he was disappointed but not heartbroken. Now he is stuck with her Christmas present though... I asked what he would do with it, and he said he bought it with her in mind and is still going to give it to her. That girl is missing out on a great guy!

It has been fun having him home. I have been so very happy to have all of us together again!

All of the kids should be home by now. And here's a toast to all of us for having survived the first semester of college. Some bumps and bruises along the way, but ladies... we did it! Thanks so much for all of the support, it has certainly helped me. I needed all of your help, support, and laughter to get through this.

So... a toast to us...

Thanks to all of you!

And have fun celebrating Christmas!!!

Yes I second a toast to all of us

Thank you all again for the fellowship and the reminders that we can do it!

 

[LisaR]

I agree, this thread has been a great source of comfort for all of our first semester woes. It looks like the kids all managed to survive just fine through breakups, illness, stress, whacky roommates, tough classes, etc. And all of us moms survived as well!

Merry Christmas to all and enjoy the rest of the holiday with your kids!

 

[marcyinPA]

Merry Christmas everyone!! Glad we all survived and so did our kids Despite the drama, distractions, and withdrawing from a class, my DS managed to pull this semester out of his hind end. He did not do as well as we would have liked, but he did OK. I have higher hopes for next semester

We are enjoying break with him. He is funny because he goes from being really mature one minute to reminding us that he is only 18 the next.

We leave for CA and the Rose Parade on Saturday. We are looking forward to spending this time with him!!

 

[mom2rtk]

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all are enjoying some well-earned down time with your kids. It's amazing to me how normal it feels to have DS back home again, like he never left at all. I know it will be hard when he goes back again, but knowing how quickly it all got back to normal when he got home will help me through next time.

Thanks for all the support and great advice here!

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

Merry Christmas everyone!
I'm loving having my guy home for break. And very proud his 3rd semester of college was a total success in many ways. He is happy living away, yet mature and helping us out while home. His grades came in and for the semester he got a 4.0!!!!!!! Super proud cause I did not have to remind him to get his work done. He just did his thing and is doing well.

He doesn't go back until January 14th so I'm going to savor every chance I can to spend with him.

Today he got a new "beard trimmer" from Memere/Grandmother. LOL I was with her when she was shopping. Like a typical guy, he likes gadgets and wahla!! He went to play with it and came out looking nice and trimmed. He said it's way better than his electric razor. (which he left at school along with his winter boots) Giggles! I'm glad he likes it and was able to shape his beard nice.

We had a very nice Christmas and now I'm ready for a do nothing day tomorrow.

Sorry to read about all the breakups and so on. I hope that your kiddos survived the drama and were able to complete finals and found their Christmas to be Happy.

Talk soon.

 

[clh2]

His grades came in and for the semester he got a 4.0!!!!!!! Super proud cause I did not have to remind him to get his work done. He just did his thing and is doing well.



Sorry to read about all the breakups and so on. I hope that your kiddos survived the drama and were able to complete finals and found their Christmas to be Happy.

Congrats on the 4.0 - My DD got "done in" by linear algebra, so no 4.0 for her, but we are really proud of her grades none-the-less. And she is excited to have squeaked by with a ""B" in that class, and literally - she made it by 1-point on her final.

And for any parents who are getting kids who don't necessarily want to share their grades - the "work-around" on that is you need to send the car insurance company a copy of their grades to maintain their good-student discounts

And -as far as break-ups go. Apparently my DD and her boyfriend are back together. I'm not sure how I feel about this (not that it matters), but I think we are going to be in for a few more break-ups/get back-togethers before this is decided. This is way more drama than I can handle - especially when DD calls in the middle of the night, sobbing. I am such a black and white person when it comes to relationships - there is no gray area, so if a guy dumped me - there was NO getting back together, I simply do not understand that concept. We like her boyfriend, he is nice and all...I just do not know if they will end up together for the long haul.

Hope you all are enjoying your babies back in the nest -so to speak! Mine is only home for another week - she is off to a Europe to study abroad for 3-weeks on Jan 2nd. (Yes - I am jealous...)

 

[Katy Belle]

DS has been home for nearly 2 weeks! We are now visiting my parents and in-laws for Christmas. This is day 5 and tomorrow we get to go HOME! We are all ready for that.

DS's grades were not perfect, but he did ok. Calculus was hard and his professor was a problem...English as a second Language, lisp, and stutter...among other things. BUT...he did learn how to study and how to get tutors, how important going to TAs study sessions are...etc! We will count it as a success.

Hugs to all the break ups and getting back togethers! Its tough. DS signed off of girls for a semester, and now says he's ready to meet someone. I'm happy he's moving on from a previous relationship. He seems to have finally let completely loose of that one.

He doesn't have classes until Jan 13, so we will get to have two more weeks with him at home.

Oh, and Mr. Computer Science Major who HATES laptops, and has a deluxe desktop computer...asked for a "crappy little laptop" to take to classes. DH bought him a nice one, and now he's hauling it everywhere! LOL. Gotta luv him!

I appreciate all of you and look forward to continued support in 2014!

 

[marcyinPA]

Congrats on the 4.0 - My DD got "done in" by linear algebra, so no 4.0 for her, but we are really proud of her grades none-the-less. And she is excited to have squeaked by with a ""B" in that class, and literally - she made it by 1-point on her final.

And for any parents who are getting kids who don't necessarily want to share their grades - the "work-around" on that is you need to send the car insurance company a copy of their grades to maintain their good-student discounts

And -as far as break-ups go. Apparently my DD and her boyfriend are back together. I'm not sure how I feel about this (not that it matters), but I think we are going to be in for a few more break-ups/get back-togethers before this is decided. This is way more drama than I can handle - especially when DD calls in the middle of the night, sobbing. I am such a black and white person when it comes to relationships - there is no gray area, so if a guy dumped me - there was NO getting back together, I simply do not understand that concept. We like her boyfriend, he is nice and all...I just do not know if they will end up together for the long haul.

Hope you all are enjoying your babies back in the nest -so to speak! Mine is only home for another week - she is off to a Europe to study abroad for 3-weeks on Jan 2nd. (Yes - I am jealous...)

Oh my- I so hear you on the break up/ back together thing. DS and his ex have been wishy washy for about a month now. They are not back together but have been seeing each other and from what I gather, have been "cozy"... I think it is a mistake but what do I know? Lol. We like her, but she is not the girl for him- we know this. He needs to figure it out. I just requested that he have it all sorted out before next semester starts

KatyBelle, I also hear you on the difficult professor. DS had two of those. He made a good choice by withdrawing from his math class because he could not understand one word the guy said, but he totally had to suck it up for psychology. Psych prof never taught intro and was a 400 level research guy. DS ended the class with a 59.5%. He emailed prof about rounding up, which he did. So he got a 60- a D- passing. His other grades were an A-, B+, B- Ending GPA 2.75. Not great but not horrible. Moving on to next semester....

 

[mom2travel]

Oh my- I so hear you on the break up/ back together thing. DS and his ex have been wishy washy for about a month now. They are not back together but have been seeing each other and from what I gather, have been "cozy"... I think it is a mistake but what do I know? Lol. We like her, but she is not the girl for him- we know this. He needs to figure it out. I just requested that he have it all sorted out before next semester starts KatyBelle, I also hear you on the difficult professor. DS had two of those. He made a good choice by withdrawing from his math class because he could not understand one word the guy said, but he totally had to suck it up for psychology. Psych prof never taught intro and was a 400 level research guy. DS ended the class with a 59.5%. He emailed prof about rounding up, which he did. So he got a 60- a D- passing. His other grades were an A-, B+, B- Ending GPA 2.75. Not great but not horrible. Moving on to next semester....

Wishy washy boyfriend/girlfriend stuff here too. I actually asked DS last week if they were dating again (broke up in October), and he said "kinda". Well ok then

We're enjoying having him home. I'm sure these weeks will go too fast!

 

[marcyinPA]

I have been meaning to ask- did your kids gain weight the first semester?!

My tall and skinny kid put on 15 pounds!! He went from 145 lbs to 160 lbs - he is 6 feet tall. Every single pair of pants/jeans he owns are too tight. He was wearing a 31" waist. I think he will need a 32" or 33"!! Holy cow! This is not from drinking- he doesn't drink. But I think he ate a burger and fries every day, and Chick Fil A several times a week. He is very unhappy with the weight gain, even though he could stand to gain a few pounds. I told him he needs to lay off the burgers and go to the gym more.

 

[clh2]

I have been meaning to ask- did your kids gain weight the first semester?!

My tall and skinny kid put on 15 pounds!! He went from 145 lbs to 160 lbs - he is 6 feet tall. Every single pair of pants/jeans he owns are too tight. He was wearing a 31" waist. I think he will need a 32" or 33"!! Holy cow! This is not from drinking- he doesn't drink. But I think he ate a burger and fries every day, and Chick Fil A several times a week. He is very unhappy with the weight gain, even though he could stand to gain a few pounds. I told him he needs to lay off the burgers and go to the gym more.

This is all about them finding the right balance between what tastes good vs what is healthy. I found with DD that she is eating much healthier this year in her sorority, as they have their own cook, and she isn't eating dorm food.

 

[Southernmiss]

We joke that ds gained the freshman 25 last year and he truly did! He had been very thin before. His weight gain was due to a combination of things--slowing down his activities to study --among them. But he also grew at least an inch taller and I joke that he was malnourished before and his body was glad to have a bit of extra weight.

We've also noticed a definite maturation of features and his hair has darkened more. He's lost his boyish looks and looks like a man now.

 

[marcyinPA]

This is all about them finding the right balance between what tastes good vs what is healthy. I found with DD that she is eating much healthier this year in her sorority, as they have their own cook, and she isn't eating dorm food.

He said the food- both quality and offerings- is terrible at his school. The food service is Aramark , which I think is national? Anyway, they mostly have fast food type of food, even in the dining hall. He has to eat lunch on the other side of campus at one of the food court type of places in the student union, and the burger line is the shortest - he only had an hour between classes. Hopefully he will have time this semester to wait in line for a salad.... For the record, though, he weighs now what he should weigh. He is just not used to it. He was very thin before. Now he looks normal.

 

[clh2]

He said the food- both quality and offerings- is terrible at his school. The food service is Aramark , which I think is national? Anyway, they mostly have fast food type of food, even in the dining hall. He has to eat lunch on the other side of campus at one of the food court type of places in the student union, and the burger line is the shortest - he only had an hour between classes. Hopefully he will have time this semester to wait in line for a salad.... For the record, though, he weighs now what he should weigh. He is just not used to it. He was very thin before. Now he looks normal.

DD's university has Aramark as well...I'm not really venting, as DD isn't on a dorm food plan this year, but I really do not like one other aspect of DD's university. The food is all-you can eat for the meal plan. So - whether they are a big hulking soccer player or a small petite wispy thing that eats like a bird, the cost is the same. So - I think the kids load up their plates with stuff - because they feel they are paying for it anyway, and probably have desserts far more than they would if they had to actually pay for them. Next year, DD will be in a house, and doing her own cooking and grocery shopping. I suspect some of her freshman 15 will be off in no time!

 

[HERSEY]

My DS has managed to lose a bit of weight. Using the Rec center and the weight room in the dorm. At least at his school the quality of food is not a problem. They have plenty of good food choices and the have good chefs and staff preparing the food on site. He has starting eating actual salads not just lettuce. He still will not eat any salad dressing I think I birthed a rabbit.

I however managed to gain the Freshman 15 and then some. Yeah me guess what I am doing when the holidays are over

 

[LisaR]

DD claims the quality of the food at her school is horrendous. I think that might be a bit of an exaggeration. None the less, all of her friends hate it. But like someone mentioned, the kids who have paid for the food are generally going to eat it and get their money's worth. DD said the boys are really bad about piling their plates as high as possible and always getting multiple desserts. I know my son would do the same!

DD's school does not require a meal plan and we didn't get her one. She has money on her ID card that she can swipe in the dining hall whenever she wants to eat. The meals are more expensive that way, but we didn't think she would eat at the dining hall often after the first few weeks. We were right. She only goes once or twice a week now and said she won't step foot in there ever again once they have their apartment style dorm next year.

The girls utilize the full kitchen in their dorm building quite often. They aren't making gourmet meals, but they make pasta with salad or brown rice with sauteed veggies quite often. DD has worked out regularly since going away and she ended up losing about six or eight pounds in the sixteen weeks. She looks very fit now. She is going to play IM sand volleyball this semester and she jogs and does yoga regularly. She also walks to class whenever the weather allows her to and it is about four miles round trip. I don't know what happened because this is a kid who complained about walking down to the mailbox before she went away to school!

 

[mom2rtk]

My DS seems to love the dorm food, but hasn't put on weight. The rec center is so far he doesn't get to work out much either.

Mostly it's just because he's a fairly picky eater. Which is why he loves having a cafeteria available. If he wants chicken twice a day, every day, nobody is going to say a word. And he's not a big dessert eater, so nothing to worry about in that regard.

 

[Christine]

My son looks like he put on weight but his clothes are still fitting so it's probably not more than 5 lbs. I do think he eats a lot of junk.

His school is also serviced by Aramark; however, for the last few years, his college has come in the Top 5 for best campus food in the country and it is very good. I guess it's just what the school *does* with the food.

He has two very large dining halls that serve all types of food, from VERY healthy to awful. After that, they have about 20 unique cafe-type places that specialize in certain food. For instance, his favorite place right now is "Cheese" which serves many types of gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. They also have a "build-a-burger" place where you construct your burger on a computer and it's made for you. A crepe place...and so on. So he has a lot of choices.

 

[marcyinPA]

My son looks like he put on weight but his clothes are still fitting so it's probably not more than 5 lbs. I do think he eats a lot of junk.

His school is also serviced by Aramark; however, for the last few years, his college has come in the Top 5 for best campus food in the country and it is very good. I guess it's just what the school *does* with the food.

He has two very large dining halls that serve all types of food, from VERY healthy to awful. After that, they have about 20 unique cafe-type places that specialize in certain food. For instance, his favorite place right now is "Cheese" which serves many types of gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. They also have a "build-a-burger" place where you construct your burger on a computer and it's made for you. A crepe place...and so on. So he has a lot of choices.

Build a burger station is the culprit of DS's weight gain I think! They have one at his school too ! Lol.

Next year, he will be in an apartment style dorm and will not be required to have a meal plan. He can't cook to save his life, but hopefully he learns a few things between now and then. We will still put some $ on his ID card, which he can use in the SUB and at the local grocery store and local restaurants.

 

[Christine]

Build a burger station is the culprit of DS's weight gain I think! They have one at his school too ! Lol.

Next year, he will be in an apartment style dorm and will not be required to have a meal plan. He can't cook to save his life, but hopefully he learns a few things between now and then. We will still put some $ on his ID card, which he can use in the SUB and at the local grocery store and local restaurants.

My DD has been living off campus for years and we typically purchase a "commuter" meal plan for her. It is about $450 per semester and gives her 48 meals per semester. This allows her to get lunch or some type of meal on the days that she is away from her apartment and on campus all day. My cousin's son did this too, at the same campus that my DD goes to. I think it really depends on how your classes are scheduled and how accessible food is based on the schedule.

My son will be living of campus next year with a full kitchen; however, again, if he is on campus all day with only an hour break here and there, it's not realistic to think he can get back to his apartment. We will see how it goes but I wouldn't be surprised if he wants some type of basic commuter meal plan.