Have you lost your best friend?

[Bornteach]

She loved candles and calla lilies, she was not good at math and could not ride a bike. She was convinced the cat stared at her and lost her glasses on top of her head. She loved the Patriots and loved going to games be it August or January. She loved to laugh and elbow me when I was wise and more than anything she was a gramma. But to me she was my best friend. She lives on in me and in my children's eyes. I love you Mom and miss you more than any words could ever say. 10/22/05

 

[DisneyKevin]

I'm 1200 miles away....but I'm right beside you.

 

[HillPete]

Kristin, here are some :group hug: for you on this very difficult weekend.

I lost my mom 12 years ago this past July. Some Julys are easier than others. This year wasn't too bad. Unfortunately, the best advice i have is that you will eventually get used to the way this feels. A few years after she passed, I realized that I had spent my entire 20s taking care of her. Her cancer was diagnosed when I was 20 and she passed away right after I turned 29. She was 53. To say it shapes the adult you become is a massive understatement. Nearly everything I do is influenced in some way by her or her death. Especially where my children are concerned. There is a little voice in the back of my head asking 'what would mom think of this?' or 'better do this now, you never know when the cancer might show up'.

Here's another hug because I can't finish my thoughts right now. Hang in there!

--H

 

[Jeff & Stacy in NYC]

You are in our thoughts. We wish you peace as you go through this difficult time.

 

[OKW Lover]

Val & I are sending to you Kristin. You too Kim and the entire family.

 

[EDuke98080]

I have been thinking about you all day. It was 8 years on the the 16th that my Dad died. It's such a hard day when the anniversary comes around each year. I am lucky that I still have my Mom and I can't begin to imagine that loss. Sendng you & your whole family hugs and comfort in happy memories of the wonderful woman that your Mom was.

~Erika

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Kristin, I am so sorry for your loss. And to everyone else who has posted about loss in this thread, you are all spectacular people.

I lost my dear friend Morgan to AIDS in December of 2006. It was an excruciatingly difficult time for me for a lot of reasons, but primarily because Morgan was a wonderful light in my life who could never be replaced. Morgan was a very sarcastic, funny person, a drag queen named Barbie Stiletto, and a giving man. He was a volunteer for the Gay Men's Health Crisis since before it was even an organization. And for some reason, he adored me.

I wear a bracelet every day that reminds me of him. And I try to live my life like he lived his; proudly and without regret.

 

[hockeymomNS]

Oh my gosh, I can't believe the timing of this post. First of all my heart and prayers go out to you and everyone else at their various stages of grief. Your words "every once in a while grief bites you on the bottom" are so precise.

On Nov 15, we will mark the 5th anniversary of my Dad's death. I was indeed Daddy's girl, his only daughter and living 5 minutes away from him and my mom, meant lots of fun time together, especially as dad retired at 60 and passed away at 66. Dad was my bud. We could have coffee together, run an errand and as I had the only 2 grandchildren, it was never "Dad, are you coming to the (insert any sport) game today", it was always, "I'll pick you up at". I last saw my dad the day before his passing, dropping him off after my youngest son's hockey game. I'm glad that my last memory of him is the big wave, just before he entered the house. The next day he had a massive heart attack and died instantly in a parking lot. I too would like to post a part of my eulogy. Keep in mind that my dad was a hard working man and would never have thought anything special about himself. The big church was filled the day of his funeral and his pallbearers were 2 of his friends, 2 friends of my self and my husband and 2 friends of my oldest son. He could relate to people of all ages, and people of all ages loved my dad.........


........."I think that we all wonder how we will be remembered, what did we do on this earth and what changes did we make while we were here. I was lucky enough to talk to Dad or see him every day. Aside from being the poster boy for "live for today", dad will be remembered as a great friend, loving every cup of coffee and story that he shared with friends. As a husband, my mom was in great loving hands, none of this was more evident than in the last few years as her eyesight changed so rapidly. As a father, he was the best. There was nothing that Dad wouldn't do for Darrell or I and he loved Mike and Barb as if they were his own. Dad's performance as a husband, friend and father was only outshone by his job as a one of a kind grandfather"........

God bless you all and thank you for starting this thread, I feel selfish for posting my loss when yours is so new, but I thank you for allowing me to post as it has been very therapeutic.

I think that I'm going to go put the final touches on a trip that my mom wants me to take with her to WDW in January.

 

[Schu15]

Hugs and thoughts to everyone who has lost a best friend.

Two years ago today I lost my best friend, my mom to pancreatic cancer, she was 60 years old. We did everything together - shopping, crafting, trips including going to Disney. We talked everyday on the phone, and I still have days I find myself thinking, I should call mom.

It is comforting to read that I am not the only one who thinks of their mom daily. I am finding that instead of sadness or anger everytime I think of mom, I now often have an empty feeling. I try to find comfort in knowing she will always be with me - and not a day will go by that I won't think of her.

 

[miss missy]

Kristen so sorry for the loss of your Mom, and your bff. I cried I cried reading your post. What a wonderful relationship you had It is every mother's dream to able to be that kind of influence on your daughter. I am sure she is a smiling Angel now, knowing her lifes work was received by you just as she hoped. And to know you are carrying it on.

I am a daughter and a Mother. I am blessed to have that same relationship with my dd. We are bff's and do everything together. 12 Disney trip as a mother-dauhter team The memories are precious. She is just 18 and I will be dealing with the seperation of college next year. If one day she says half of what you say... I will be soooo happy.

Thanks for sharing your mom with us. Hugs to you!!!

 

[melmar136]

to Kristen, and everyone else going through the same thing.

I lost my mom 8 1/2 years ago. She was only 58 at the time, and was my best friend as well. I still miss her and think of her every single day. Some days can still be very hard.

But, I know she watches over my daughter and me, and I am so glad to have had such a special relationship with her. My one hope is that my daughter will feel the same about the relationship she and I have. My mom taught me to be the mother I am, so I'm sure it will happen.

PM me anytime...I see you are in MA also.
Also, here is a link to others who will also understand: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2352339

 

[pepperw23]

Oh my gosh, I can't believe the timing of this post. First of all my heart and prayers go out to you and everyone else at their various stages of grief. Your words "every once in a while grief bites you on the bottom" are so precise.

On Nov 15, we will mark the 5th anniversary of my Dad's death. I was indeed Daddy's girl, his only daughter and living 5 minutes away from him and my mom, meant lots of fun time together, especially as dad retired at 60 and passed away at 66. Dad was my bud. We could have coffee together, run an errand and as I had the only 2 grandchildren, it was never "Dad, are you coming to the (insert any sport) game today", it was always, "I'll pick you up at". I last saw my dad the day before his passing, dropping him off after my youngest son's hockey game. I'm glad that my last memory of him is the big wave, just before he entered the house. The next day he had a massive heart attack and died instantly in a parking lot. I too would like to post a part of my eulogy. Keep in mind that my dad was a hard working man and would never have thought anything special about himself. The big church was filled the day of his funeral and his pallbearers were 2 of his friends, 2 friends of my self and my husband and 2 friends of my oldest son. He could relate to people of all ages, and people of all ages loved my dad.........


........."I think that we all wonder how we will be remembered, what did we do on this earth and what changes did we make while we were here. I was lucky enough to talk to Dad or see him every day. Aside from being the poster boy for "live for today", dad will be remembered as a great friend, loving every cup of coffee and story that he shared with friends. As a husband, my mom was in great loving hands, none of this was more evident than in the last few years as her eyesight changed so rapidly. As a father, he was the best. There was nothing that Dad wouldn't do for Darrell or I and he loved Mike and Barb as if they were his own. Dad's performance as a husband, friend and father was only outshone by his job as a one of a kind grandfather"........

God bless you all and thank you for starting this thread, I feel selfish for posting my loss when yours is so new, but I thank you for allowing me to post as it has been very therapeutic.

I think that I'm going to go put the final touches on a trip that my mom wants me to take with her to WDW in January.

Hugs to you from another Daddy's girl who lost her dad three years ago on Jan 7th. Our stories are very similar btw, I too saw my Dad the day before and he waved to me and said "luv daalling" like he always did. He died had a massive heart attack the next morning with my mother by his side.

Hugs to OP and Hugs to all of you. We can all relate to each other unlike anyone else.

The best thing we can do is keep the wonderful memories we shared with them alive by sharing stories about them. We love to talk about my Dad and we do so almost every day.

 

[figment3258]

to evryone who has lost someone

My dad passed away on may 3,2000 very suddley he was 58 and I was only 14.

I will never forget the feeling I had like this dosent happen to people in real life just on tv or in the movies.

I was a only child and I miss him dearly. Every may 3 is a hard day. I am very thankful that I have a wonderful husband and three ( well almost) beautiful girls that I get to share my life with now.

I think Disney holds such a special place with me because it was the last place we went as a family ( although my dad and I would always do the tea cups and I can't quite do them without him yet) and it was the first place my mom took me 3 months after he passed.

 

[dansyr2514]

Kristin you had me thinking about you and your post today. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 9. Sometimes I almost feel guilty because I don't remember that much about her. She was sick for awhile and at that time they didn't let children into the hospital. I became a huge daddy's girl. I remember my dad saying he knew when my mom passed away because he dreamed of a stream and then the stream became still. That night my mom passed. My father was truly a good man. He never complained and worked to provide the best for us. Whenever I wanted to go anywhere in my pre driving years he was always there to drive my friends and I and waited for us when we trying to squeak out the last few minutes before we had to leave. He was not an emotional man but I found out later from others how proud he was of us. He passed away when I was 25. It was so difficult! I missed him like crazy. It's funny the night he passed away. I knew. I don't know how, it was just a feeling. I walked in the house and my brother told me, the hospital had just called, dad is gone. It was a strange feeling of sadness and relief. He was such a strong man, I was relieved he wasn't suffering anymore. The reason I thought of you today is... Something happened and it reminded me of my dad. And i sat in my car and talked to him.... And laughed! I still miss him so much but I almost feel as if he is with me and I find comfort in that. What made me think of you was hoping you would find that comfort someday soon. It's a funny process. From complete sadness to being sure and ok they are still with you, watching over you every second of every day! Hugs!

 

[Bornteach]

I found this great quote:

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. - Earl Grollman


Seven years ago today my life changed in a way I never thought possible. I am still here, infinitely different but still wide awake to who I was. Mom, there is not a day that I don't miss you. Not a day that I don't think I see you in the eyes of my children. Not a day when I am not confident you would be proud of the family we have built.

I miss you so much it is tangible. I can almost touch it sometimes. But I also know that I am giving and living a life that you wanted for me. I am forever you…..

Mary Lydia Doherty….daughter, mother, sister, wife…..best friend…..1947-2005

 

[hockeymomNS]

Wow, I was reading through this thread when I read my story from last year....it took me back for a minute.

I am coming up on the 6th anniversary of my Dad's passing and I still miss him every day, although with each day, I see more of him in my 25 yr.old son.

Bless you everyone.

 

[mattincanberra]

I found this great quote:

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. - Earl Grollman

Kristen,

Grief is the price we pay for love, but it goes, and joy comes - we know not how.

From the other side of the world my heart goes out to you.

Just over 15 years ago my high school sweetheart and I were in a car accident - we were driving to visit her father to tell him that we had got engaged, and a drunk driver swerved across the highway and hit our car. Nicole died in the car, I walked out without a scratch. It turns out I was pretty dented and damaged, just there weren't any cuts or bruises. For the next year I think I cried every day - the year after that i think i just cried a bit less every day, and now i just cry some days, not often, but sometimes - usually over something silly like a smell or a song or something that i see that I wish i could tell her all about, but now more often than wanting to cry, those things happen and i smile.

Your post reminded me to hug my mum and dad tonight before they went to bed, and to think of my temporary move into their spare bedroom to be a little bit more of a blessing than a curse

Look after yourself - and remember, theres a reason you are such a good teacher and such a good mom, and no doubt she is pretty damned proud of her daughter!

Matt

 

[DisneyKevin]

Between July 9th 2009 and May 8th 2011....I lost my Dad, my best friend and my Mom.

There isnt a day that goes by that I dont wish that I could talk to them, see them, hug them, tell them how much they mean to me.....just sit with them.

The tears come and go, but the memories and feeling that I was incredibly blessed to have them in my life never goes away.

Mom, Dad and Michael......I love and miss you so much.

Richard Klose 1932 - 2009
Ann Klose 1933 - 2011
Michael Wagner 1949 - 2010

 

[rlduvall]

I have also experienced the type of loss you are talking about. My mother was my absolute best friend, too. And like Kevin, I experienced more loss than is normal when my mother, my father and my only sibling all died within a span of less than 2 years; and the worst part was that my brother took his own life - something that should never have happened. I was never supposed to be older than my brother. While I have a loving husband and adorable son, and I am a happy, positive person, my world will never quite be the same.

My thoughts and prayers to everyone who has gone through this type of pain.

Mary Lee Sisney [1942 - 2007]; Robert Cox, Sr. [1939 - 2009]; Robert Cox, Jr. [1962 - 2009]

 

[safetymom]

Words fail me at times like this. Not a day goes by where I don't think of my parents and my husband that are no longer with me.

I started off every day with a call to my mother to talk about the days happenings. I still miss doing that.

I know my parents and husband made me who I am today. I still wonder what they think of my life now. I was a person that hated change. I would buy the same shoes, same car because once I found something I liked why should I change it!

My mother died 5 months before my husband and I thought my life had changed and how was I going to handle it. Then my husband suddenly died and it really rocked my world.

I used to insist that I was the same person I always was after he died but looking back I see I have changed.

I know realize how quickly your life can change and you should enjoy every moment of it. Tell your loved ones daily that you love them. Try to take comfort in your memories of your loved one that has passed.

It does get softer as the years go by but you never forget. Never take life for granted.