Have you ever broken a contract?

[disykat]

My son just broke a contract for an internship he had accepted (but hadn't started yet) and had second thoughts about. He received advice from multiple advisers before doing so, but still feels like crap.

I'm trying to reassure him that this sort of thing happens all the time, but I don't really know that. Is this common in the business world or not? Will this follow him for the rest of his life?

He's only half way through school and is worried that he has just sunk his career. He's also having a hard time dealing with having done something "wrong" and people questioning his ethics.

Any words of advice for a young man who made a mistake he's having a hard time living with?

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Is he worried word will get around to other businesses in the industry of what he did? Because otherwise I don't see how anyone will know except for him, the company he broke the contract with, and maybe the school.

I don't necessarily see this as a career-limiting thing, but I don't have enough info to go on. He should just use this as a learning experience to take more time and so more research before commuting to something, and move on.

 

[Bearybear]

We broke a contract we made to send our son to private school when we realized it wasn't the right fit for him. Obviously, our case was different, as parents we would do anything to help our son. We had to pay 3 months tuition as "penalty". I don't regret it at all.

If it wasn't the right fit for him, or if he had serious doubts about it, he's better off breaking the agreement before he started than after.

I have no idea what this will do for his career, but he has to do what he thinks is best for him. And you should remind him that what is done is done. Worrying now will only cause stress.

 

[disykat]

That's what I've told him, but he's pretty stressed out. Me too, actually. It's hard for a mother not to worry!

He's always been "mr. perfect," so it's hard for him to accept personal failure. Being accused of bad ethics (and knowing that there's truth to it) is really upsetting to him.

 

[design_mom]

I am not sure exactly what sort of contract you're talking about... but once, I accepted a job, then rescinded my acceptance (prior to my start date) when another job I'd been interviewing for came through.

I felt (and still feel) terrible that I did it and it was almost 15 years ago. But the second job was a much better fit for me and I think I made the right long-term decision about which job to take. I just feel bad that I told Company A that I'd take the job, then quit before I'd even started. I tried to be as professional about it as possible, but I still feel bad about it.

Career-wise: I haven't seen any affects, really. In my city, everyone in my field seems to know everyone else and I haven't been "black balled" or anything. No one has even mentioned it. However, I would guess there could be a black mark in my file with Company A (if they even have a file on me). I would feel kind of bad ever applying to them again!

 

[AntePrincess]

Was this a paid internship by any chance? I think that might make a bit of a difference.

 

[disykat]

I am not sure exactly what sort of contract you're talking about... but once, I accepted a job, then rescinded my acceptance (prior to my start date) when another job I'd been interviewing for came through.

I felt (and still feel) terrible that I did it and it was almost 15 years ago. But the second job was a much better fit for me and I think I made the right long-term decision about which job to take. I just feel bad that I told Company A that I'd take the job, then quit before I'd even started. I tried to be as professional about it as possible, but I still feel bad about it.

Career-wise: I haven't seen any affects, really. In my city, everyone in my field seems to know everyone else and I haven't been "black balled" or anything. No one has even mentioned it. However, I would guess there could be a black mark in my file with Company A (if they even have a file on me). I would feel kind of bad ever applying to them again!

This is pretty much exactly what he did. It was to be a paid internship. $10 an hour. The new opportunity is $21 an hour and a huge step up for him.

Was this a paid internship by any chance? I think that might make a bit of a difference.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

This is pretty much exactly what he did. It was to be a paid internship. $10 an hour. The new opportunity is $21 an hour and a huge step up for him.

Um, you should have posted that the first time! That makes a ton of difference! He did nothing wrong. People do this in the real world all the time.

If you don't look out for yourself and take control of your career, who will?

 

[krnlmustrd]

No other employer is ever going to know... It's no big deal.

 

[disykat]

Thank you for saying that! He was accused of bad ethics and feels horrible.

 

[FigmentChick]

Like another poster, I had an offer of employment, accepted it and then another (what I thought was a long-shot) came through for me. The second position was a much better fit, better benefits, working environment, everything. Yes, I felt bad about telling the first company "sorry, I can't come work for you", but you (or in this case, your son) have to do what is right for you.

By the way, most states are at-will....meaning either party can terminate the employer-employee relationship at any time for any reason. Did your son sign a document? Is that was has him so upset?

If he didn't, tell him not to worry. Business is business. You may run in to these people when networking in the future, but tell him not to be troubled by it. I walked out on my last job November 27th. I was volunteering a month later and that turned in to a full-time position. Better opportunities are there for a reason.

And no offense, but $21 to $10 per hour? Guess which job I'd choose? Tell him to have a great weekend and stop worrying!!!

 

[trip]

Thank you for saying that! He was accused of bad ethics and feels horrible.

Who accused him of bad ethics? He did what he thought was best for him.

 

[PrincessJo]

He shouldn't worry about what other people are saying. He's making more than twice what the first company offered!! Good for him!

This will be the first bump in hopefully a very long and successful road. There will be lots of people who will poo-poo what he does along the way. I have always found the people who say mean things to you instead of being happy for your success... are incredibly jealous. Decisions like this will get easier the more confident he grows I think.

 

[StephMK]

Who said it was bad ethics? Did his professors support him? I would wonder about a co that only offered $10 if the standard for the internship was closer to $21. Unless there is a huge discrepancy in the type of work that caused the big pay difference?

I took a job and even went for the paperwork meeting two years ago. That afternoon, I got a last minute job offer for a FT position that paid better and was closer to my career goal. My college advisor was supportive when I gave her my hesitation about letting the first company down. She recommended the second opportunity. I still feel bad for letting down the first employer but ultimately, the second job was a good fit for that year and led to other opps.

Unless it is a tiny industry with very few competitors, I can't imagine anyone will know what happened. Tell him that it happens but making a big step career wise and in pay is the right move.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Something similar happened to me a few years ago...verbal only, neither I nor the employer put anything in writing. It was during the interview and the employer (father-daughter team) pretty much wouldn't let me leave unless I said yes on the spot. I went home and thought about it for a few days...the more I thought about it, the more misgivings I had and I felt even more bullied into saying yes. So I called and told them I'd changed my mind. The daughter then sent me a nasty email, telling me that I was a horrible person and "that's why you are where you are in life" (which kind of verified my gut feeling, that I didn't want to work for these people in the first place).

While I felt terrible at the time, nothing has come of it; the company is located almost an hour away and I have never run into either the father or daughter since. Although sometimes I would love to point out to them that while life has its bumps, of course, I had then and still have a very happy and fulfilling life,thankyouverymuch.

 

[TheAviator]

Yes I dropped one once and it shattered, I told them we shouldn't be putting it on glass, so stupid.

 

[TruRiRi]

Usually there is a way out of a contract, whether it be paying a fee or giving them enough time to find a replacement.

As long as he sticks with the exiting part of the contract, then he should be okay.

 

[AntePrincess]

This is pretty much exactly what he did. It was to be a paid internship. $10 an hour. The new opportunity is $21 an hour and a huge step up for him.

I bet you that $21 internship is going to look much better on his future resume than the $10 one, and honestly what company is going to trust a person with business matters if they knew they voluntarily made LESS money at some point? Honestly, a company is going to put profits first, and an employee needs to put their bottom line first as well.

Who accused him of bad ethics? He did what he thought was best for him.

I'm curious about this as well, because it sounds like something an exploitative former employer once said to me when I opted to go into business for myself. They had no grounds to accuse me of poor ethics, I followed our contract, was within the law, and wasn't even going into competition with them, they were just sniping because they were losing some very cheap quality labor. I'd suspect the same is going on in this case and I'd be laughing on the inside at an employer (if they didn't have an incredible track record of employee loyalty, at least) that said something like that to me.

These days you don't even get two weeks notice, you get escorted out the door like a criminal the minute you're fired, and you can be 'salaried' but put into an hourly double bind where you get docked if you don't make 40 hours one week yet never make overtime for the extra hours... cause you're 'salaried.' No room at all to talk about bad ethics.

 

[disykat]

The employer that he broke the contract with scolded him for his bad ethics. They have a point, he did break the contract. He knows that and feels bad about it. Every one he spoke with at the school agreed it was bad form to break the contract, but it would be the best move for him.

He also feels bad that this will reflect poorly on his school.

I have actually erred the other way and gave up opportunities because I was already under contract - and have really regretted it.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Being scolded by the employer -- because now they have to go find someone else -- and them not knowing what a competitive rate is, perhaps they have bad ethics? Maybe they knew they were taking advantage of him at $10 an hour if he got a $21 and hour position in the same field?

Tell him to shrug it off. He did nothing wrong. People who often lecture others about "poor ethics" are often guilty of questionable ethics themselves.

KC