Have you ever been the victim of sexism

[Mortlives]

Of course. I was hired as a developer at one company, and as the only woman, they figured it would be no problem if I also answered the phones...

DH and I were looking at cars, and the salesman insisted upon talking to him, even though the purchase and decision would be mine. (The salesman had been told).

 

[jevs]

I tried to squeeze my arms together really tight against my chest to get out of a speeding ticket. Apparently that doesn't work with that particular police officer, because he was having none of it, let me tell ya...

Try a short skirt next time. That may help.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Try a short skirt next time. That may help.

I think it might have been that chest hair bikini I sculpted during that last Dis Guys thread. The officer was not amused. I may try to skirt, but then I'd have to shave my legs and that just doesn't sound like any fun at all.

 

[jevs]

I think it might have been that chest hair bikini I sculpted during that last Dis Guys thread. The officer was not amused. I may try to skirt, but then I'd have to shave my legs and that just doesn't sound like any fun at all.

Wax them instead.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Wax them instead.

Oh my. Ouch.


I can't even...

 

[JoeA]

Try a short skirt next time. That may help.

A real man shouldn't wear a short skirt.

 

[jevs]

A real man shouldn't wear a short skirt.

You mean rugger-buggers...right.

 

[JoeA]

You mean rugger-buggers...right.

I had to google that!

 

[jevs]

I had to google that!

You should have asked Willy, he knows all about it

 

[BigAlsGal]

Just little things. They always hand the bill to DH at a restaurant.

We had someone come give an estimate for heat/AC unit. Even though we were both standing there and I was technically going to be the one paying for it he only talked to my husband. Now I admit I don't know crap about that stuff but come on. At least pretend to include me in the conversation. Lol! Its really never offended me. I just think it's funny.

 

[jevs]

I actually have been a victim of sexism.

Someone (can't remember who) thought I was a man here on Dis.

Then Micca called me a guy.

Then Low Key called me metro yesterday.

So to avoid reporting the next person to call me a bloke to the overlords, I've had to put female in my profile.

 

[King Schultz]

I definitely have been a victim of sexism.


They wouldn't even let me and my Ric Flair robe and my fog machine compete for the Miss America crown!!


Bigoted rugger buggers!

 

[PollyannaMom]

They always hand the bill to DH at a restaurant.

I can say I feel like a "victim" of that one! I rather enjoy it.

 

[kamik86]

Not really. I honestly am somewhat surprised when I hear other woman talk like this has been a huge issue all their lives how LITTLE I have been.

1) I grew up a tom boy. Never wore skirts or dresses, played in the mud, thought dolls were boring unless I could take them apart to see how they worked but legos and lincoln logs were cool. If anyone ever said anything about it well it never registered enough for me to remember. I even would always ask for the boys toys at mcdonalds because they were always so much better. (Oh does this count? That boys get better toys to begin with? The only exception may have been the easy bake oven but by the time I ever saw one or knew about it I was old enough that mom would let me use the REAL oven to bake and the above poster was right the food from the toy ones sucked.)

2) I was always really good at math and science as a kid. I got picked on for being a brown nose, stuck up, a nerd etc but never because a girl shouldn't be smart. I was picked on exactly the same as the smart boys by the dumb kids who may have been smart if they spent half the time they spent coming up with insults on studying.

3) I went to a tech school in high school so there were less girls. Then went to an engineering college. The most sexist thing I encourntered during that time was the textbook for the communications class I had to take (which was taught by a woman) luckily I had a great group of (all male I was the only girl in the class) friends in that class that used me as an example of why the book was a load of cow excrement. (Apparently I was supposed to be quiet, reserved, unsure of myself, emotional and definitly not a leader according to that book). I never had an issue getting classmates to accept my ideas and help with projects. In alot of ways I found it to be more of an advantage to be female at that school (every professor I had knew my name within the first week, some of the boys that were still mixing up by week 8)

4) Now I'm an engineer working for a government contractor. I'm not the only woman on the program but we are definitely outnumbered. Still don't see it as an issue. The only thing I have found that I think is harder here for women is the dress codes for meetings. They always determine/announce it for the guys (Dress shirts and ties but no jackets, Khackis and polos/button down no ties required) so we just have to figure out what to do based on theirs.

Actually thinking of that the only place I feel in my life that is harder becasue I'm a girl is clothes. Why do guys clothes get sold with inches on the label and we have stupid numbers that are subjective and are extremely different within a brand never mind across them? I hate clothes and I hate shopping and would LOVE if some brand of womans pants started sizing them like mens.

 

[kamik86]

Disney pulled it on me. When we bought DVC, I was the one who made initial contact, the only one who spoke to the guide, negotiated the purchase, etc. They never once spoke to my husband.

Guess who's listed as the primary member on our contract???

I'm listed as the primary member on mine.
Also on the house.

For other bills it was whomever called and set it up (he has the trash, electricity, and propane. I have the oil and internet)

My marriage licence I actually found it hilarious when we went to get ours because the woman was like "This is the form now and it just says party A and party B instead of husband and wife. However because Husband was always listed first we tend to list them as A as long as that is ok?" (This was Massachusetts in 2008 so all the forms had been updated for same sex marriage by then) then looked at me to make sure I was ok with that my response was "wait do people actually get angry about that? Wow those people need some prospective, yeah thats fine."

 

[design_mom]

Only one time was it really blatant.

I went to a large university but my major program was small. They offered a number of study-abroad opportunities, which I would have loved to have taken part in, but most were very expensive and I couldn’t afford it. However, there was one opportunity that was an internship with a firm in Switzerland. They provided housing, and a stipend for living expenses… so really, the only thing it would have cost me was the plane ticket, and I thought I could probably swing that.

There was a huge selection process. It went on for months. I really thought I had a good shot at the internship. I was near the top of my class. There was one other guy that I thought could give me a run for my money, but he decided on a different study-abroad experience. I made it through the whole selection process — essays, portfolio reviews, interviews, etc. After the final interview, I felt pretty confident that I had it… until they awarded it to a mediocre student. I was kind of shocked. Not even that I *didn’t* get it, but that this particular guy *did*.

It was some time later (after the internship was over) that a different teacher let it slip that they never send girls on that internship (the internship was offered every year to a different student). Apparently in the past, they'd had multiple female interns come back and complain that the man in charge of the internship was inappropriate with them, so the decision was made to only send guys. But the internship was officially open to any student who met certain qualifications (none of them were gender-based.) I watched over the next several years, and sure enough… always a guy.

In retrospect, I’m kind of glad I didn’t get it. As a naive 21 year old who’d never traveled internationally, I would have been there all by myself and pretty much reliant on that guy for everything. I am not 100% sure how I would have handled the situation, so I guess it was better that I wasn’t put into the position to start with. However, the internship was offered till the guy in Switzerland retired… and it was officially open for all students to apply. I am annoyed that they weren’t up front about the fact that it was actually open to guys only. I feel stupid for going through the whole “dog and pony show” only to find out I was never really in consideration due to my gender.

 

[okeydokey]

Every time my in laws send me a piece of mail addressed to Mrs. Husbands first name and last name. I don't even get my own first name.

 

[jenm2878]

I'm startled that anybody would be offended by this. The database I use at work has the name field for the male (if there is one) before the name field for the female (if there is one) - although no offence is intended, it generates documents with the man's name first. A newer application we use requires that the names be entered alphabetically and guess what?!? Sometimes the man's name is still generated first.

It's annoying when they won't let me discuss the account without my husband's permission since he's first on the account. My DH does absolutely nothing with bill paying, transferring money, etc., but because he's listed first on the bank account he has to give them permission to talk to me every time I call. It's a joint account, no reason for my "rights" to the account to be different than his.

 

[HM]

So, here's an example that irks me.

I sign up for AAA for our household using an employee discount. When the renewal notice comes, it is now in my DHs name. What the heck?

Another example. We just bought a car. It's my car but both our names are on it. Whose name did they put first? DH. They knew the car was mine.

 

[HM]

It's annoying when they won't let me discuss the account without my husband's permission since he's first on the account. My DH does absolutely nothing with bill paying, transferring money, etc., but because he's listed first on the bank account he has to give them permission to talk to me every time I call. It's a joint account, no reason for my "rights" to the account to be different than his.

yes yes yes

I am also the bill payer in our house and this happens all the time. And he gets irked when I have to come get him to talk to whoever it is on the phone. And I have to wait to make these calls when he's available.