I have been wanting to journal the particulars of this little event for a while. And "guess why I am not at work today" seems like it is as good a title for a trip report as any, so why not?
Last night was a logistic puzzle that kept me up most of the night. Our Griswoldian crew consists of me, my wife (who I love, worship, and recognize as the rightful Boss of our outfit), and our six kids. Daughters age 17, 14, 11 and 2; and Sons age 10 and 5. But since we like rounded numbers, we are guided onto correct paths for this trip by my Disneyholic mother and fun loving dad. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, Patton probably had an easier time getting his armored cavalry moving than we did getting ready to go.
But at thirty minutes after six in the A.M., grandpa and grandma pulled up in a rented 15 passenger bus....er....van. We tossed in the rest of the stuff that we couldn't live without and were on the road at ten minutes to seven. Less than a mile down the road we were informed by DD2 that her favorite doll was not where she wanted it to be. A quick inspection of the crazy train...er... van... revealed that the poor doll was nowhere to be found. Rather than put up an Amber Alert, we turned back around and found the missing doll sitting patiently on the front lawn, evidently unaware of its brush with mortality. Crisis averted and we were on our way for real.
Our leg for today was a jaunt from Salt Lake down to Vegas, which we took deliberately and safely. There must be some kind of speed sting operation going on because there was pretty much a cop with a car pulled over about every half mile from Provo all the way to the Arizona border. Not just Highway Patrol, but sheriffs and local police as well. We did see the aftermath of a pretty nasty roll over that looked as if someone had fallen asleep at the wheel. A scary reminder for us to be careful.
We stopped for breakfast and to my pride and amazement, none of my heathen-horde of devouring loci threw any food at each other or caused any scenes. In fact, they showed very good manners and gratitude in equal measures. It makes me hopeful for the week to come. Perhaps my wife has been able to overcome my poor fathering skills and teach them a thing or two after all.
We got to Vegas around one and gawked at the crowds for a bit before heading to our first stop; the buffet at the Bellagio. My dad does enjoy a good crab leg, and now that I have had the buffet experience, I can say that I know why. Bless those boys on "Deadliest Catch" for putting that particular delicacy on the table. Good seafood can be a little tough to find in SLC.
Only our oldest two children have ever been on an official vacation before and they were pretty much too small to have any memory for it. So everything we do this trip is a new and exciting experience. And the Buffet certainly offered some new experiences. Grandpa declared that sensible meals and good nutrition were also on holiday (Thankfully somewhere else) and so the kids had fun. DD11 enjoyed the "Bellagio Bacon plate", also known as a giant pile of bacon. I don't care what Alton Brown says, that's good eats. DD was (can't pass up any pun, ever) in Hog Heaven.
DS10 got the award for bravest experimenter as he tried squid, octopus, mussels, sushi, and crab legs.
Each of us tried something new and enjoyable. I got to try Beef Wellington (I have wanted to for years) and found it good. I think it would have measured better if it hadn't been fighting for my attention with all those sexy crab legs. But it was our oldest that found the best taste of all and has now reached the family hall of fame for stories we will tell thirty years from now.
She found a delicious looking red velvet waffle fresh off the iron. She scooped it up and walked over to the toppings station and loaded that bad boy up with cream cheese. When she got back to the table, Grandpa looked the plate over and teased her that she must really like horseradish a lot to pile it on a waffle.
"It's cream cheese", she said, digging in. "I checked the label three times."
Now I don't know if they messed up the signage or if she became momentarily illiterate. Perhaps the Leprechauns of our Irish heritage felt the need for a chuckle and pulled a fast one. Whatever it was, the look on that sweet teenage girl's face once she put fork to taste buds was all anyone needed to know about what that creamy white waffle topping really was.
And I am pretty sure what recipe I am going to turn in if I ever want to get a guest shot on "Worst Cooks in America". Take that, Wolfgang Puck!
After a lengthy and enjoyable lunch/dinner, we drove to the suburbs to our hotel. Grandma and Grandpa went on an errand or two, the boss and the baby turned in early, and the rest of the runts and I went down and tried in vain to drown each other in the hotel pool.
Now that is more vacation in one day than my kids have had in all their lives put together. Yet we get seven more days to go.
I'm off to bed; we have an early wake up to hit the road. Mickey and his pals are calling, and we gotta answer.
Have a great time! And don't sprang your ankle trying to outrun the kids! 
