Getting stalked at Disney

[ogreenlee]

I had a "friend" who wasn't there for me while my mom was sick, but she was going thru her own ordeal, and I was there for her even though my mom was sick. I spent a lot of time, while taking care of my mom listening to her problems over the phone.

THEN... my mom died. When I returned home after being gone for 2 months, the phone rings within 30 minutes of our arrival. It was her. She said, "Oh you're home? Good. Is your DH there?" I didn't know what was up, so I handed him the phone. She asked him for Ipod help. I had been in my house for the first time in two months for less than 30 minutes, and this *itch had the nerve to immediately ask for my husband's help with an Ipod? Well, that was the first straw. Then her husband left for jail. These are not your typical jail-type people. They live in a very nice home in a very nice neighborhood, and his dumbself decided to help a childhood friend he grew up with by watering his weed plants while the friend was out of town. STUPID. He didn't know that the house was being watched. Now my friend had warned him that he should never even talk to that friend again, but whatever. That's neither here nor there. He lost a really good job, and had to go to jail for a year for conspiracy, this after just having a baby 8 months prior (they also have a child my DD's age).

Anyway, her being mad at the world decided to use me as her new punching bag b/c the whole year before he had to leave and was going through trial, she made his life miserable. I'm certain he was happy to go by the time she was done with him. But when he was gone, she had no one to be hateful to. So she used me. Well my mother had just died, and I was in no damn mood.

You want to talk about someone NOT being passive aggressive. How many ways can you come up with to tell someone to "buzz off"? Well I did it in a 5 page typed email. She was to never call me again.

THe saddest part is that her little girl and my little girl were best friends, and my DD asks about her all the time. I have to tell my DD that if a friend isn't being a friend, then you have to let go of them. She says, "Well **** was nice to me." And that breaks my heart b/c her little friend didn't do anything to her. But... I couldn't stick around just for her. I was done.

I've been much happier since. No more drama!!

Sometimes kickin' to the curb is the only choice you got!

 

[carlabing]

If they go out of the way to insult your employment, they aren't really your friends. There are plenty of other things to poke fun at... religion, politics, and employment (or unemployment) aren't really a laughing matter.

Who cares if you are a SAHD??? If that works for your family, you guys made the decision that is best for your kids. Forget your "friends."

I agree with PPs that if you run into them, say hi, you don't have to ignore them completely BUT don't break your neck to plan things. IMHO, I wouldn't risk having them throw out more jabs at me while I'm vacation, and especially not in front of my kids. It is your vacation time with your family. Make it worth it.

Totally agree - especially about the jabs in front of your kids. I am thick skinned, but don't involve my kid. If someone talks down about you in front of your children, in jest or not, that person has issues and is not worth your time. Life's way to short to waste it on people like that, my friend. I understand that you don't want to be "mean" to them, but you don't owe them anything.

 

[amyemann]

At this point being around the bush isnt working out...they think you still want to be their friends. You need to be honest with them and tell them to back off. Tell them you find them offensive and more so you want to enjoy this FAMILY VACATION! Don't tell them or anyone else who may tell them where you are staying...then if they still dont get the hint from being blunt with them then just ignore.

 

[rie'smom]

Change the dates of your trip, if you can. And don't put the new dates on facebook...

When I wanted to avoid someone at WDW, I took their calls but pretended there was interference and couldn't hear them. Crinkling paper works great for this. Don't let them know that you've changed resorts.

 

[jb01]

Love your title...Getting stalked at Disney. What is wrong with your ex-friends. Are they that insecure that they plan a vacation around your family? Amazing!
The way it sounds they are going to be like lost puppy's and try and hang with you and your family the whole vacation. Why not try and set up 1 day they can hang with you and let them know the rest of the time it's going to be just your family togeather.

 

[nerdyone]

Love your title...Getting stalked at Disney. What is wrong with your ex-friends. Are they that insecure that they plan a vacation around your family? Amazing!
The way it sounds they are going to be like lost puppy's and try and hang with you and your family the whole vacation. Why not try and set up 1 day they can hang with you and let them know the rest of the time it's going to be just your family togeather.

I'm only in Disney for 5 days. The last thing I want to do is get saddled with their 3 kids. Plus, I plan my vacation and it annoys me that they think they can just leach off of me. I tried explaining to them the importance of getting to the park for the rope drop, leaving at noon to five for naps, and returning but they think they know more.

Got to love this! I forgot to mention that my "friend" said he has a note from his doctor to get a special wrist band that will put them in the front of the line. First, I find this behavior disgusting, second my friend won't listen to me that this magical wrist band doesn't exsist. I told my sister who is the CM and she almost cancelled their trip because she was so appalled by their behavior.

I tried to explain that with proper planning, baby swap, and FP, there really is no reason to stay in line for more than 15 minutes. His magical wrist band isn't even needed! But of course he knows more!

 

[Scurvy]

If they are former friends, then don't give them so much information about your plans and you won't have to deal with this in the future. If they are Facebook friends of yours, "unfriend" them. If they aren't, just change your privacy settings so only friends can see your page, then block them and they won't be able to see where you're going to be from now on.

If they try to tag along with you on this trip, just say no. If you actually tell them that you don't want to share any part of your vacation with them, surely they won't insist on following you around after that.

 

[Baltazar]

I just changed our hotel to the GF so we can avoid them at the Poly but I know they are going to be calling me non stop while we are there. I do not want to be stuck with them and there 3 kids (all under 4) the entire time.

I was going to suggest changing hotels.

I am the ultimate passive aggressive.

If it were me I would try several things.
In the morning I'd be up and out of the resort really fast
Screen my cell phone calls or have it off.
it's relatively easy to lose track of people in a park. Though I don't suggest you all go to MK then run off to Epcot when their back is turned.

We've went a few times with other people and it gets to be a chore staying together so I wouldn't worry about them shadowing you a whole lot.

I'd probably end up having a few beers (liquid courage) and give them a piece of my mind.

 

[KellyNY]

If you do not want those people to be in your life just call them and tell them, or at least tell them what bothers you and see what happens. If they make those jokes and do not understand they hurt you they will stop, if they plain jerks and love to kick you while you are down just loose them. I would resolve it before leaving, you do not want to constantly look around for them hiding around the corner and you do not want to be nervous with every phone call. It is your vacation and you want to make sure you will have fun. Resolve it now and do not place info on internet.

 

[ogreenlee]

yes, i found out the power yesterday of Facebook Friend Lists... you can set whole lists to only see a small portion of your page. How awesome is that???

 

[nerdyone]

I was going to suggest changing hotels.

I am the ultimate passive aggressive.

If it were me I would try several things.
In the morning I'd be up and out of the resort really fast
Screen my cell phone calls or have it off.
it's relatively easy to lose track of people in a park. Though I don't suggest you all go to MK then run off to Epcot when their back is turned.

We've went a few times with other people and it gets to be a chore staying together so I wouldn't worry about them shadowing you a whole lot.

I'd probably end up having a few beers (liquid courage) and give them a piece of my mind.

It's funny about the beer comment...the only time we can be good friends is over a 12 pack.

Oh, that was the last comment from them that set me off. We told them how much we love some of the drinks in Epcot. They got from sanctimonious about drinking on vacation and not being responsible. THis is coming from a guy who made a racial comment about Dora the Explorere in front of his kids....

 

[larryz]

First of all, way to go, I'd use ANY excuse to upgrade to the GF...

Second, I applaud you for not putting your life on hold while you're between positions -- I wish I had used a three-month break in jobs to go visit Yellowstone, Yosemite, and (maybe even) Disneyland...

Third, I would suggest you're being a bit sensitive about the job teasing... you seem to have reconciled your feelings about the layoff, and your friend seems to think you wouldn't be insulted by some good-natured ribbing (I'm sure they realize you're in good financial shape -- they undoubtedly know your wife is well employed...).

But, after a 3-month hiatus, they might be getting a clue you weren't happy about the teasing. Did you consider just telling them, "Hey, that's a sensitive subject with me..."?

Anyway, good on ya' for going First Class, and enjoy your trip!

 

[famsen]

I just changed our hotel to the GF so we can avoid them at the Poly but I know they are going to be calling me non stop while we are there. I do not want to be stuck with them and there 3 kids (all under 4) the entire time.

Do not answer the phone while you are at WDW! You are on vacation and you don't need the stress and aggravation. I know you don't want a confrontation while you are on your trip so put a stop to it now. Call them and let them know that you scheduled this vacation to connect with YOUR family.

They do sound very strange and it is creepy that they keep changing their plans to coincide with yours. It's a shame YOU had to change you choice of resorts to avoid them. Just put a stop to this madness before you get there.
You will feel better without that nonsense hanging over your head on vacation.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

It's funny about the beer comment...the only time we can be good friends is over a 12 pack.

Oh, that was the last comment from them that set me off. We told them how much we love some of the drinks in Epcot. They got from sanctimonious about drinking on vacation and not being responsible. THis is coming from a guy who made a racial comment about Dora the Explorere in front of his kids....

The guy is a cad (a man who acts with deliberate disregard for another's feelings or rights - merriamwebster). There's no other way to say it.

How does your wife feel about them being around? I think by the time a racist comment came out in front of me, I'd be done. I'd have to say something at that point. Comments like that don't belond in civilized conversation.

 

[itchin2go]

I am all for being forthright and honest, BUT ...

I understand that being direct with these people could have repercussions. There are people in my life that I would LOVE to tell what I think about one thing or another, but it would just be a bad idea. For me, it's not about being passive-aggressive, as much as it is pragmatic.

I think switching hotels was a GREAT idea.

If they suggest getting together, just say your parents are really insistent that this vacation be about "family time".

When they call for planning tips, just say you're working on your own vacation and running out of time and suggest the UG for a reference guide.

Definitely don't answer their phone calls / texts during your vacation. You may be able to tell the front desk that you don't wish to receive any calls.

If you do run into them (and I agree that it's probably less likely than you think), just be ready with a reason to go in the other direction -- whoops we have fastpasses for _____ -- gotta run. If you know which parks they're going to, go to another park!

You probably made your ADRs AGES ago, so they probably won't be able to snag similar ones easily.

Anyway - good luck and I feel for you.

 

[SuperTink]

Ask yourself why you would even consider being friends with people you yourself have described as insensitive, bigoted, sanctimonious, and the only time you can be good friends is when you are slightly drunk.

Maybe the path will become clearer once you've given it some consideration.

If not, you could always blame your avoidance on lousy cell phone reception.

Either way, I hope you manage to have a good time.

 

[KellyNY]

I'm only in Disney for 5 days. The last thing I want to do is get saddled with their 3 kids. Plus, I plan my vacation and it annoys me that they think they can just leach off of me. I tried explaining to them the importance of getting to the park for the rope drop, leaving at noon to five for naps, and returning but they think they know more.

Got to love this! I forgot to mention that my "friend" said he has a note from his doctor to get a special wrist band that will put them in the front of the line. First, I find this behavior disgusting, second my friend won't listen to me that this magical wrist band doesn't exsist. I told my sister who is the CM and she almost cancelled their trip because she was so appalled by their behavior.

I tried to explain that with proper planning, baby swap, and FP, there really is no reason to stay in line for more than 15 minutes. His magical wrist band isn't even needed! But of course he knows more!

I do not get it, what bothers you more, the way they are around you with jokes or they touring plans? Just do not communicate with them at all. Let them sleep in and look the rest of vacation for a magic wrist band, who cares, do not try to give them advices on rope drop and so on, if they want help planning, refer them books and sites, they should do their homework since they are such a jerks to you. Just loose them.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

You have a lot of good advice here. If you are like me, I would never hurt anyones feelings if I could avoid it. Like others have said, just don't answer your phone. If you run into them, tell them anything to get away from them.

Another thing that you could do would be to call them before you go and ask if they have any last minute questions, and before you hang up tell them that your parents want this to be a family only vacation and you will talk to them when you get back. Say I hope you have a great trip, goodbye.

 

[Goofy_Dad_24]

Another thing that you could do would be to call them before you go and ask if they have any last minute questions, and before you hang up tell them that your parents want this to be a family only vacation and you will talk to them when you get back. Say I hope you have a great trip, goodbye.

For a passive aggressive approach, this is a pretty good one.

 

[Heidijs]

Okay first off...what a nightmare....I'd stop taking their calls first off. Tell them you're too busy being a stay at home dad to talk on the phone! Then when you go to WDW and they find out you moved resorts, if you see them and they ask why, tell them your wife got a big raise so you upgraded...don't answer your cell. Hell shut it off...it's your vacation. If they ask, tell them you're with your family on a trip, you're not taking calls unless it's an emergency. I'd blow them off big time...these people are not your friends and I'm not confrontational either but what they're doing is beyond pathetic and you need to let them know...better yet, have your wife blow them off for ya!