Funniest Lines in WDW Attractions

[Robo]

Not so much a JOKE, but it is one of the best "set-up" lines in an attraction.

Mickey's Philharmagic (You know the NAME is kind of a JOKE in itself, since its not really about Mickey so much as it is DONALD.)

Mickey Mouse (who's not ready to start the show) to Donald:

"Donald, you get the orchestra ready..."
(Mickey runs off-stage and, as an afterthought, yells,)

"AND DON'T TOUCH MY HAT!"

Great set-up, because we ALL know what Donald will do NEXT.

 

[MichelleVW]

Last time we rode Winnie the Pooh the ride kept stopping and Tigger would come on and say...........

'I'd rather be hoppin than stoppin!!!!'

And for some reason that cracked me and my husband up so we laughed about it the rest of the trip!!

 

[Robo]

Mickey's Philharmagic:

Before the curtain goes up, Goofy, the stage manager is running and stumbling around behind the audience and the curtain and...

"MMEEERRRROOOOEEEWW" (cat screech)

Goofy: "Sorry, little feller!"

 

[PanamaMike]

"Pick up the baby and RUN, Barbara Jean".

"Down in front"
"Oh, sorry Mr. Eisner"

I know these lines don't read as overly humourous, but as part of the Animation Tour, they were very funny.

 

[Simba's Mom]

Ok I may be crazy, but my favorite line is...

"Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow. Your party has arrived from Saturn, please give them a ring."

That always makes me giggle!

Just giggle? For some reason, I think that one is hysterical! I also get a kick out of the end of the Tiki Room show when the birds say, "I'm going over to the Hall of Presidents to take a nap".

 

[Robo]

"Down in front"
"Oh, sorry Mr. Eisner"

It helps to know that the "Oh, sorry Mr. Eisner" was spoken by Chernabog, the ultra-evil "devil-bat creature" from Fantasia's "Night on Bald Mountain" segment.
It was quite unexpected and VERY funny.

 

[MaryFMac]

We get our small jollies from the Spanish version of "Please stand clear of the doors" on the Monorail.

"Por favor mantagnese alejado de las puertos!" (spelling liberties taken)

We almost made t-shirts last summer.

 

[MaryFMac]

Also, many of the lines from the Jungle Cruise.

On our recent trip, we had a particularly saucy skipper who took liberties with many of the lines, but did exceptionally nice improv on the

"That can only mean one thing!" line.

Instead of the typical (hilarious) "Hippos," our skipper says, "Downed airplanes. That can only mean one thing! Drugs. I... mean... hippos."

It was hysterical.

 

[CinRell]

When I was in the bathroom in adventureland last sept, the music stopped and stitch's voice came over.. the Liiiilo? where Aaaare you? "doors slamming.. lady screaming".. You're not Lilo. Screaming.. Hello lady.. hahahahahaha (stitch evil laugh)

This cracked me up. particularly because while washing my hands a little boy, pants still down, comes scrambling out of the one stall saying STITCH IS IN HERE MOMMY WHERE IS HE!? while the mom frantically tried to grab him back into the stall LOL

 

[dmk1021]

We get our small jollies from the Spanish version of "Please stand clear of the doors" on the Monorail.

"Por favor mantagnese alejado de las puertos!" (spelling liberties taken)

We almost made t-shirts last summer.

I have a t-shirt that says this (por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas)! I bought it on ebay. How funny is that?

Whenever I wear it I get compliments. If anyone wants to buy one, it's made by an ebay company called wdw virtual visit. Go to ebay and type in "disney monorail shirt" and you'll find it. They make other ones too (I only have the monorail one in blue).

BTW, these are all so funny. They're really getting me in the mood for DL tomorrow!

 

[JustEngagedNicole]

Just subscribing - these are great!

 

[Robo]

Jungle Cruise
(There a HUNDREDS of good lines here, because many capt's. have their own SET of ad libs).

Jungle Cruise Capt. upon our "Return to Civilization"...

"Well, THAT was so much fun that I think I'll go around again...

and again...

and again...

and again...

every 10 minutes...

for the rest of my life!

(Stay in school, kids.)"

 

[Ilovestitch]

We always giggle on the monorail when it says "Please watch your headnstep" We always say "what's a headnstep?? and why do I have to watch it??"

And at the animal kindom we say randomly with an african accent: "NOBODY calls them Thompsons gazelles! They are Tommies!!"

 

[Amphigorey]

Pretty much all of MuppetVision cracks me up, but (aside from those already mentioned), I deeply love Gonzo's bit with the "added cultural component of a pot of flowers balanced on my head."

Also, the Muppets preshow has the best visual pun ever :
The Net Full of Jello! Check it out next time you're there.

 

[huskies90]

When I was in the bathroom in adventureland last sept, the music stopped and stitch's voice came over.. the Liiiilo? where Aaaare you? "doors slamming.. lady screaming".. You're not Lilo. Screaming.. Hello lady.. hahahahahaha (stitch evil laugh)

This cracked me up. particularly because while washing my hands a little boy, pants still down, comes scrambling out of the one stall saying STITCH IS IN HERE MOMMY WHERE IS HE!? while the mom frantically tried to grab him back into the stall LOL

I just laughed out loud when I read this...

 

[RVGal]

Oh, these are great!

The last time we were on the Safari Ride at AK, our driver was telling us the usual stuff about all the animals we could see out of our vehicle. In the middle of pointing out the larger animals, he added, "And there are a bunch of Black Vultures over there. I'm not sure how they found their way here to Africa, when they are most commonly native to Central Florida..."

I think it was vultures, but I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Epcot242]

Another UOE one:

Ellen: Uh, I will take, um ... eenie meenie minie ... uh, Fossil Fuels for, uh, let's-let's go for a hundred.

Alex Trebek: Fine. The answer is: This is formed from microscopic plants and animals trapped in ocean floor sediment millions of years ago.

::Ellen rings in::

Alex: Ellen?

Ellen: Yes, I know that one. That's uh ... that, um, is uh ... what -- what is ... what is um, uh, stuff trapped -- microscopic fuels and -- and plants and -- and animals...

 

[SoleilLoca]

We get our small jollies from the Spanish version of "Please stand clear of the doors" on the Monorail.

"Por favor mantagnese alejado de las puertos!" (spelling liberties taken)

We almost made t-shirts last summer.

LoL--glad to know my family and I aren't the only ones.. I'm definitely going to have to check out ebay...

 

[Robo]

"Mama, don't whup little Buford.
Mama, don't pound on his head.
Mama, don't whup little Buford.
Why don't you just shoot him instead?"

-Country Bears

(or Homer & Jethro)

 

[Robo]

Magnifing glasses are for LOOKING at little things,
not for BURNING little things.

-Flick
(ITTBAB)