Frustrated with DD's teacher

[princessmom29]

And I guess I should just be okay that the teacher mistakenly gave DD an F and C on two of her assignments, through no fault of DD's. And then when asked to look into it and correct she only corrects one and tries to blame teh mistake on me? and of course that's me just looking for fault with the teacher. I guess your okay if you kids do their best and then get F's because of the teachers lack of organization? I realize when you are thinking 1 point or 2 points off it doesn't sound so bad. But when you look at what the grade is, in this case an F and a C, I find it hard to believe that none of the other parents on this board with question that.

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this is the part I am having trouble with. freading your original post, it was very hard for me to keep up with what you are doing with the reading log, how you were logging the reading and expecting it to be counted, and how th teacher expected things to be done. I don't see why you don't just ONLY send the log in on the due date. It would avoid all the confusion. I just don't see it as all the teacher's falut here if you are sending the log in at odd times. Just sending what's required on the day it is due would fix the entire problem. Our school asks up front that you NOT send in assignemts early to avoid just this situation.

 

[tiggger1]

is there any way you could copy the reading log so you have a copy if the teacher doesnt send it home on time? I had to do that with my daughter's teacher last year for spelling. They would get the same spelling homework every week. 1) write spelling words 3 times
2) write sentences for all 15 words
3) put it in abc order

they were all due on friday but the papers was sent home on different days. Of course the day that the sentences were due was the day dd had 3 hours of dance after school. She would do her other homework before dance and then be up till 9 trying to finish her sentences. It was torture because she was cranky and tired. We decided to copy the work sheets and switch the days, so she either no spelling on dance days or an easier assignment. It worked out great, no more late nights and she actually remembered the sentences and got 100's on almost every test!

 

[tiggger1]

this is the part I am having trouble with. freading your original post, it was very hard for me to keep up with what you are doing with the reading log, how you were logging the reading and expecting it to be counted, and how th teacher expected things to be done. I don't see why you don't just ONLY send the log in on the due date. It would avoid all the confusion. I just don't see it as all the teacher's falut here if you are sending the log in at odd times. Just sending what's required on the day it is due would fix the entire problem. Our school asks up front that you NOT send in assignemts early to avoid just this situation.

i am guessing the log is one piece of paper that the teacher checks and then returns after she check it. if the teacher doesnt return it on the same day she gets it, then the OP cant fill it in and sign. Sounds like the teacher didnt return it for a week, which threw the log off..The OP wrote the log in the notebook it like she was told to and when the OP finally got the log she that week the OP filled in last week and this weeks reading. when she filled in both weeks, the teacher counted the last week reading as late?

 

[princessmom29]

i am guessing the log is one piece of paper that the teacher checks and then returns after she check it. if the teacher doesnt return it on the same day she gets it, then the OP cant fill it in and sign. Sounds like the teacher didnt return it for a week, which threw the log off..The OP wrote the log in the notebook it like she was told to and when the OP finally got the log she that week the OP filled in last week and this weeks reading. when she filled in both weeks, the teacher counted the last week reading as late?

I understood her to say that she always sends the log in on Monday, after reading over the weekend when it wasn't actually due until the end of the week. The teacher needed to runn off new logs one Friday and didn't send them home over the weeked, so the OP wrote it in the notebook intead, sending that in on Monday. She then added it to the log and sent that in with the following week's reading, agian on Monday. A trip where the child missed school further confused the issue of what reading counted for which week. I can see how there would have been some confusion. Sending the log in to be graded early seems to be at least part of the problem here. If it was sent in when due, there would be less confusion. If it were me, I would just hold it at home and send it in on the due date.

 

[kt_mom]

this is the part I am having trouble with. freading your original post, it was very hard for me to keep up with what you are doing with the reading log, how you were logging the reading and expecting it to be counted, and how th teacher expected things to be done. I don't see why you don't just ONLY send the log in on the due date. It would avoid all the confusion. I just don't see it as all the teacher's falut here if you are sending the log in at odd times. Just sending what's required on the day it is due would fix the entire problem. Our school asks up front that you NOT send in assignemts early to avoid just this situation.

It not sent in early. It is kept in her notebook where its supposed to be kept. The teacher has chosen on occasion to take it out early and mark it because DD has already met the contract amount. All it says is that it is due BY friday, not ON friday. The week that things got messed up is the week that the teacher did not have the new logs ready and sent home a note to write it in the notebook. Which I did and she cut it out of the notebook. What happened after that I have no clue. The notebook is something that was put together by the teacher to for the students to keep things like this in. They also have some study guides they keep in there and ongoing projects like their current events that they keep in there. It is transported back and forth to school each day.

The log is several pages long, stapled together and to be filled out as you go. There are like 15 or 20 lines for each week so you can write in each time your child does reading. And there is a section for each week in the quarter. It's kept in the students notebook. They also have a math contract on the bottom of the weekly letter that we keep on the counter to study spelling words and such during the week. It has only one line with the total amount for the week and parents signature. Its cut off the bottom and sent in on friday. There have been no problems with the math contract.

Maybe this will clear up some of the confusion. The log IS NOT being sent in early. The teacher is pulling it out early sometimes. But its kept where she asked us to keep it. DD just always meets her reading goal early.

 

[kt_mom]

i am guessing the log is one piece of paper that the teacher checks and then returns after she check it. if the teacher doesnt return it on the same day she gets it, then the OP cant fill it in and sign. Sounds like the teacher didnt return it for a week, which threw the log off..The OP wrote the log in the notebook it like she was told to and when the OP finally got the log she that week the OP filled in last week and this weeks reading. when she filled in both weeks, the teacher counted the last week reading as late?

This is pretty much what happened.

Except when I asked her to check, she said that I had been turning them in late all along and something about the week we were on vacation. But the grades do not reflect any of that to be true. The only weeks with missing points are the two involved with the log being late. I think that's what frustrates me the most. I was willing to suck it up and say that there was some confusion on both our parts and take partial blame. But the teacher was not willing meet me half way at all and I feel like she is throwing in the fixing the points as just a way to appease me as opposed to being the right thing to do. I don't want her to give DD points she doesn't deserve. But I also don't want her to take away points that she does deserve.

 

[kt_mom]

is there any way you could copy the reading log so you have a copy if the teacher doesnt send it home on time? I had to do that with my daughter's teacher last year for spelling. They would get the same spelling homework every week. 1) write spelling words 3 times
2) write sentences for all 15 words
3) put it in abc order

they were all due on friday but the papers was sent home on different days. Of course the day that the sentences were due was the day dd had 3 hours of dance after school. She would do her other homework before dance and then be up till 9 trying to finish her sentences. It was torture because she was cranky and tired. We decided to copy the work sheets and switch the days, so she either no spelling on dance days or an easier assignment. It worked out great, no more late nights and she actually remembered the sentences and got 100's on almost every test!

They have to do that spelling packet too only theirs rotates between 2 of the 3 different activities each week. Its sent home on monday and can be returned when finished but has to be returned by friday. DD usually does it monday night. They have their pretest on Wednesday and if they get 100% on that then they don't have to take the test on friday. She likes the extra time on Friday to read or go take AR tests in the library.

I was thinking I would just keep track of what was sent in when, but it would probably be easier just to make a copy of the log and duplicate it each time. Then I can note on there when the teacher marked it complete and put it back in DD's notebook. Then there won't be any question down the road.

 

[princessmom29]

This is pretty much what happened.

Except when I asked her to check, she said that I had been turning them in late all along and something about the week we were on vacation. But the grades do not reflect any of that to be true. The only weeks with missing points are the two involved with the log being late. I think that's what frustrates me the most. I was willing to suck it up and say that there was some confusion on both our parts and take partial blame. But the teacher was not willing meet me half way at all and I feel like she is throwing in the fixing the points as just a way to appease me as opposed to being the right thing to do. I don't want her to give DD points she doesn't deserve. But I also don't want her to take away points that she does deserve.

So essentially you feel that you are in no way responsible for the problem and you want the teacher to take full responsibility and give your child full credit, correct?

 

[kt_mom]

So essentially you feel that you are in no way responsible for the problem and you want the teacher to take full responsibility and give your child full credit, correct?

I'm sorry, I guess I don't understand which part of the problem I am responsible for. I did what the teacher requested. My child did the required work, and turned it in as requested. Why shouldn't she have full credit?

 

[princessmom29]

I'm sorry, I guess I don't understand which part of the problem I am responsible for. I did what the teacher requested. My child did the required work, and turned it in as requested. Why shouldn't she have full credit?

I am not saying you ARE responsible, just trying to understand what is going on.

 

[sp0ngem0nkey]

I am not saying you ARE responsible, just trying to understand what is going on.

* shwew * wipes brow * Glad you said this. I thought I was going to have to pop some corn.

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[kt_mom]

I am not saying you ARE responsible, just trying to understand what is going on.

Not exactly how your question came across.

But I'll try one more time. DD did the work and it was turned in as requested by the teacher. I think she either lost it or misplaced it before counting the points. Her response to my request to double check the log grades was to say that DD had either not turned in a log several weeks before or turned it in late and that they had been turned in late all along. But that she would fix the points for one of the weeks in question and she hoped that would fix it.

I don't understand her need to bring up a week that had no impact on the weeks in question. She knows as well as I do what probably happened.

Why couldn't she just say, "you're right, its looks like the logs going out late must have caused some confusion. I remember DD turning in the notepad like I asked. I'll correct the grades next time I go in to update. Sorry about that."

Then I would have said, "Don't apologize, you have a lot going on, I know things can get mixed up. Thank you for taking the time to double check that for me. I'll see you at the chapel tomorrow. Hope you and your family have a great thanksgiving!"

 

[disykat]

It seems to me like your main issue is that you want her to apologize so you can tell her it's not necessary to do so?

Can't you just accept that it's possible she didn't remember, but did remember there'd been an absence and thought maybe it had something to do with that? I don't think she was blaming your for anything.

 

[englishteacha]

Just a comment as a teacher: I DO NOT check my work email from home. I don't reply to work emails on my time, because I don't read them. I don't make phone calls to parents once I leave work for the day, and I have caller ID and don't answer the phone if I see it's a parent calling. And yes, I might be grading when I'm at home, but I'm juggling that with my family time.

 

[emma'smom]

If there are only 19 children in the class, and the teacher knows all the parents, why do you need a reading log at all? In my dd's school (with exactly the same number of children in her class and, yes, the teacher knows all the parents) the children receive a weekly assignment that includes (depending on the week):

Poem
Vocabulary
Latin
Writing Topic
Technology Project
Math

and it is a given they are expected to have a "book" going at all times and that they should be reading it on a regular basis.

Written assignments get turned in on Fridays (sometimes they get two weeks for longer assignments like making a video). Everything else is just assumed that it will be completed and their understanding of it shows up in the work they do by using that vocabulary in their writing, referencing and discussing the poem in class, etc.

I guess my question is, with only 19 kids in a small private school....why does the teacher need to go through the motions of checking off some sort of log that clocks reading hours if it just leads to frustration? Can't she just assume and trust that the children are reading (and that the parents are supporting this process) rather than assigning a point value?

 

[luvmy2babies]

My daughter is in private school with 21 children in her class.

We have a reading log, but not like the OP describes. What has to be on it for a grade are the reading assignments the teacher sends home. She'll assign certain pages in the reading book they are in and I have to write on the log that we read it and sign it, and I have to initial the homework log. The first book had questions after each story that had to be answered and turned in. The book we are currently in does not have questions. I can write other reading she does on the log, but I'm not required to.

Thank goodness. My daughter has sensory issues and sometimes by the time we finish homework a log is the last thing on my mind.

 

[princessmom29]

It seems to me like your main issue is that you want her to apologize so you can tell her it's not necessary to do so?

Can't you just accept that it's possible she didn't remember, but did remember there'd been an absence and thought maybe it had something to do with that? I don't think she was blaming your for anything.

This is what I was thinking as well. Also, I am thinking that the vacation they took probably DID have an effect on the logs and the OP doesn't realize it. I think the teacher should have addressed the problem THEN if that is the case, but given all of the abnormalities here I really don't think itis entirely the teacher's fault. I think there was confusion on BOTH parts, and the teacher has made the best compromise she can. I realize the OP doesn't think she bears any responsibiliy, but sometimes we just have to deal and move on, even when we don't think we are in the wrong. Holding a grude about it will just make the rest of the year that much harder.

 

[deuceswild10]

OP, you say the teacher has "only" 19 other kids in her class. That's still a lot to juggle.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Just move on.

 

[lan3]

I think you have a right to be frustrated. If a child does their homework every single day and the parent says there is a mix up with the homework, the teacher should have given the credit. Mistakes happen and bringing up a vacation that happened weeks ago was a way to cover up for a mistake. A simple apology would have been fine. It was not a big deal and she should have just said, obviously there is some confusion but since your daughter is so good about doing her homework, I'll give her the credit. Clearly the girl reads a lot and that is the purpose of a reading log. I work in a school (school counselor) and most teacher's would give the kid/parent the benefit of the doubt in this situation. Some teachers are more disorganized than others and it can be very frustrating to parents. If you stormed into class, yelling at the teacher over this minor incident I would say you were wrong. You didn't do anything to the teacher and I am shocked that so many think you were over the top. You barely even mentioned it to the teacher and I didn't see anything inappropriate about your behavior.

As for the notice for the event. I honestly would be more angry at that than the reading log mix up. If my kid is performing, it is inappropriate for me to be given so little notice about the event. We never schedule functions at school and tell the parent the day before at 5:00 pm. That is unacceptable to me. If a child is chosen for a special celebration, the parents should be given a few days notice. Somehow I doubt that the school organized this event at the very last minute. We plan events like that weeks, if not months in advance. I have organized many, many different events at my school and I can not think of one event that we planned the day before it occurred.

 

[dotcomguy]

Reading all this talk about homework, enrichment classes, reading logs, grade point averages, etc... for 8 year olds has my head spinning. I have 4 girls, the oldest is 6 and in the first grade so I admit I have no experience here but if my daughter has to do all that I've read on this post (and she'll do it herself) I'll be ecstatic if she gets a C. Not only that, it would be a C that she earned without any help from me.

I view my job is to keep her from watching TV or other activities until she's finished her homework. If it's bedtime and her homework isn't done, my job is to get her to bed.

In my opinion, homework is for the kids. I never asked my parents to help me with homework (never really had homework until 5th grade); except to drive me to the store to get supplies for a project, or operate the power tools to build a science experiment I selected.

None of this has anything to do with OP other than to say I have no intention of keeping up with a reading log or some of the other things I've read here tonight. I also have no intention of monitoring my daughter's grades in elementary school, high school, or college; just like I have no intention of guarding her piggy bank at this age or balancing her check-book later in life.

Does that make me a bad parent? Maybe. But something about parents needing to help with homework doesn't sit well with me. If my child can't do the work, she didn't pay attention that day/week and should get a grade that reflects her progress so her teacher can know what she needs to work on.

If that's tough love, we've gotten really soft.

P.S. None of this is to say we're not involved in our daughters' education. My wife is a stay at home mom so she's able to volunteer at the school when they need help. I take my daughter to school most mornings and pick here up from school on Fridays. I take off from work a couple times a month to serve in the cafeteria or read to my daughter's class. My wife and I take turns attending soccer games and practice, and I lead my oldest daughter's Indian Princesses Tribe. I just draw a hard line at homework.