Foster child adoption rules

[Stitchwitch D]

Ethical adoption can be good, ethical with both mother and father making the choice. What is sad is unethical adoption were the father is considered to be an inconvience

In my case, as a mother, I was considered an inconvenience. CPS got involved in my life because my ex was abusive. He expected to be "king of the castle", was unemployed, and expected me to come home from work, keep the house clean, take care of the kids and give him money for cigarettes and video games. When I stood up to him, he'd get abusive, but was careful not to leave bruises. He deliberately sabotaged my efforts to get my kids out of foster care, then finally left right before CPS filed for TPR. By then, nothing I did mattered, and the judge decided that as a single mother working 2 jobs, I couldn't provide for my children's needs as well as my ex's sister, who is married, works for Disney, homeowners, etc.

My kids were aged 6 & 8 when she adopted them and changed their names. She has refused to let me have any contact, which is why I found this thread, Googling for any mention of adoption and Disney. I don't know what she's told them about why they can't even contact me, or if she's given them anything I sent.

I do know that she admitted that my son was angry at her at first and they did counseling. He's going to be 13 this August, and he's on the autism spectrum, his diagnosis is Aspergers. I'm worried that now that he's about to be a teenager, he's going to be harder to control, and his aunt/adopter won't be able to deal with him, and that she'll send him back to foster care or a group home rather than give him back to me. My daughter is 10 now, but I worry that when she's old enough to be interested in dating, there will be drama between her and the adopters.

Meanwhile, I've gotten married again. My husband is a total sweetheart, and has the same diagnosis as my son. The problems that lead to me losing my children were temporary, but their adoption was permanent. Even if their adopter eventually decides she doesn't want them anymore, she still legally is their mother, and doesn't have to even notify me.

I wish there was even one person in their lives who'd simply contact me and let me know if they're okay.

 

[marlynnp]

Secondly, is there a reason that you are linking almost exclusively to the highly editorialized Arkansas Times articles, and worse their "blogs" than to more balanced and legitimate news articles? This story is pretty bad--it still shows the senator and his family is a bad light even when presented with journalistic integrity, why cast a shadow on ts believably by only linking to obviously over dramatized "reporting" of the issu?

The OP always pulls stories from wacky sites in the US and she is actually in the UK. OP has been told several times that these "news" sources are less legit than the Daily Mail but she doesn't care. .

She's the equivalent of the restaurant world's SPRINGS11! -- just a total troll poster at this point.

 

[Jaya]

The OP always pulls stories from wacky sites in the US and she is actually in the UK. OP has been told several times that these "news" sources are less legit than the Daily Mail but she doesn't care. .

She's the equivalent of the restaurant world's SPRINGS11! -- just a total troll poster at this point.

OH, NO!!!!111!!!!!111!!! You just HAD to mention her name, huh? It's like standing in a dark room, looking at a mirror and chanting "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary". She'll find us again now. We're doomed.

 

[Hrhpd]

In my case, as a mother, I was considered an inconvenience. CPS got involved in my life because my ex was abusive. He expected to be "king of the castle", was unemployed, and expected me to come home from work, keep the house clean, take care of the kids and give him money for cigarettes and video games. When I stood up to him, he'd get abusive, but was careful not to leave bruises. He deliberately sabotaged my efforts to get my kids out of foster care, then finally left right before CPS filed for TPR. By then, nothing I did mattered, and the judge decided that as a single mother working 2 jobs, I couldn't provide for my children's needs as well as my ex's sister, who is married, works for Disney, homeowners, etc.

My kids were aged 6 & 8 when she adopted them and changed their names. She has refused to let me have any contact, which is why I found this thread, Googling for any mention of adoption and Disney. I don't know what she's told them about why they can't even contact me, or if she's given them anything I sent.

I do know that she admitted that my son was angry at her at first and they did counseling. He's going to be 13 this August, and he's on the autism spectrum, his diagnosis is Aspergers. I'm worried that now that he's about to be a teenager, he's going to be harder to control, and his aunt/adopter won't be able to deal with him, and that she'll send him back to foster care or a group home rather than give him back to me. My daughter is 10 now, but I worry that when she's old enough to be interested in dating, there will be drama between her and the adopters.

Meanwhile, I've gotten married again. My husband is a total sweetheart, and has the same diagnosis as my son. The problems that lead to me losing my children were temporary, but their adoption was permanent. Even if their adopter eventually decides she doesn't want them anymore, she still legally is their mother, and doesn't have to even notify me.

I wish there was even one person in their lives who'd simply contact me and let me know if they're okay.

Zombie thread. Paula, is that you?

Anyway, if not, welcome to the DIS. Just curious why you would be googling Adoption and Disney?

 

[ronandannette]

Zombie thread. Paula, is that you?

Anyway, if not, welcome to the DIS. Just curious why you would be googling Adoption and Disney?

She said it's because the aunt that adopted her children works for Disney, which apparently influenced the judge's decision on some level.

 

[Stitchwitch D]

Zombie thread. Paula, is that you?

Anyway, if not, welcome to the DIS. Just curious why you would be googling Adoption and Disney?

I was hoping that maybe she'd posted something at some point that might help me understand her behavior. Way back when I called 911 because my then-husband assaulted me in front of our daughter, his sister left a voice mail chewing both of us out for being "immature", and a short time later, she told me that if we couldn't get it together and make our marriage work, that we should let her have our kids. When I said that I was going to fight for my kids, she stopped talking to me, but stalked my blog and left a nasty comment on a 2 year old post that mentioned the domestic violence.

If one of the men in my family abused his partner, I would tell him off, and I would support her in any way possible. Instead, my SIL seemed to think that the abuse was my fault as much as his, and that the best thing for the kids was to get them away from both of us. I'm curious what she's told her friends and colleagues at Disney about why she adopted my kids. She was very into Disney before going to work there, she met her husband there, he works for Disney too, so it made sense that she might post in Disney forums. At very least, reading other Disney people's opinions on adoption has given me some insight.

 

[PaulaSB12]

https://bangordailynews.com/2015/07...w-rehoming-of-adopted-children-to-become-law/ The trouble with the unofficial re homing of children as with that Justin Harris who rehomed his adopted daughter who was raped, many are ending up in the hands of paedophiles. These children adopted and taken to a different country or children who have suffered abuse and end up in foster care deserve so much better than being treated like unwanted pets.

 

[mom2rtk]

https://bangordailynews.com/2015/07...w-rehoming-of-adopted-children-to-become-law/ The trouble with the unofficial re homing of children as with that Justin Harris who rehomed his adopted daughter who was raped, many are ending up in the hands of paedophiles. These children adopted and taken to a different country or children who have suffered abuse and end up in foster care deserve so much better than being treated like unwanted pets.

I'll have to reread the thread when I have a moment.

Was anyone here actually in favor of "unofficial rehoming"?

Lots of people in favor of adoption, but that's a different discussion.

 

[NHdisneylover]

This thread won'r die will it?

https://bangordailynews.com/2015/07...w-rehoming-of-adopted-children-to-become-law/ The trouble with the unofficial re homing of children as with that Justin Harris who rehomed his adopted daughter who was raped, many are ending up in the hands of paedophiles. These children adopted and taken to a different country or children who have suffered abuse and end up in foster care deserve so much better than being treated like unwanted pets.

I agree with the PP--no one on this thread has said unofficial rehoming of adopted children is a good idea.

I find this law, interesting, if there is not more to it than what I found online as the text of it. It applies to all children (not just adopted ones). Based on how i read it, a 15 year old spending 10 months living with a family as part of an exchange student program (as I did at that age) would be technically illegal under this law as it would be longer than 6 months without a court order.

Likewise, a child with a sick parent, or one who travels often for work,or one whose family moves and stays to finish out middle school by living with a friend until summer etc could easily cross hat technical legal line.

If this practice really is so common, it needs to be dealt with, but it seems like there needs to be better thought put into how to deal with it (including, perhaps, better preparation required for parents to adopt).