For all the women of the World

[Piglet843]

I Am Thankful:

For The Wife
Who Says It's Hot Dogs Tonight,
Because She Is Home With Me,
And Not Out With Someone Else.

For The Husband
Who Is On The Sofa
Being A Couch Potato,
Because He Is Home With Me
And Not Out At The Bars.

For The Teenager
Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes
Because That Means She Is At Home,
Not On The Streets.

For The Taxes
That I Pay
Because It Means That
I Am Employed.

For The Mess
To Clean After A Party
Because It Means That I Have
Been Surrounded By Friends.

For The Clothes
That Fit A Little Too Snug
Because It Means
I Have Enough To Eat.

For My Shadow
That Watches Me Work
Because It Means
I Am Out In The Sunshine.

For A Lawn
That Needs Mowing,
Windows That Need Cleaning,
And Gutters That Need Fixing
Because It Means I Have A Home.

For All The Complaining
I Hear About The Government
Because It Means That
We Have Freedom Of Speech.

For The Parking Spot
I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot
Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking
And That I Have Been
Blessed With Transportation.

For My Huge Heating Bill
Because It Means
I Am Warm.

For The Lady
Behind Me In Church
That Sings Off Key
Because It Means
That I Can Hear.

For The Pile
Of Laundry And Ironing
Because It Means
I Have Clothes To Wear.

For Weariness
And Aching Muscles
At The End Of The Day
Because It Means
I Have Been
Capable Of Working Hard.

For The Alarm
That Goes Off
In The Early Morning Hours
Because It Means That I Am Alive.

 

[mojophone]

Wow that was beautiful. Thanks for sharing. It helps to read that because it helps put life into perspective.

 

[Piglet843]

We are the only one's posting - but it seems people are viewing this thread - so if its ok - I'm gonna keep on posting.... I got a million of 'em....

A Mother’s Way vs. A Daughter’s Way

Mother’s Way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Daughter’s Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Mother’s Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Daughter’s Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Mother’s Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Daughter’s Way: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Mother’s Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Daughter’s Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Mother’s Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Daughter’s Way: Celery? Never heard of it!

Mother’s Way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Daughter’s Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Mother’s Way: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Daughter’s Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Mother’s Way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Daughter’s Way: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Mother’s Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Daughter’s Way: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

 

[scraptoons]

Oh wow!
Definately subscribing to this thread.
Gives me ideas for making a scrapbook for my mother.
I may use "beauty of a woman", using each line on a seperate page that has coordinating pictures with a jotted memory or two.

I used the same idea for my father using a peom called "strength of a man"
May have to do a thread like this for Father's Day.

 

[mojophone]

We are the only one's posting - but it seems people are viewing this thread - so if its ok - I'm gonna keep on posting.... I got a million of 'em....

Hiya piglet843 it is more than ok and I welcome everything you have to offer as do all of the people who view it

Mother’s Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Mother’s Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Does anyone know if these are really true?

Welcome to the thread Scraptoons!!!! I think it would be an awesome idea to do the "strength of man" thing. I may have a few funnys and setamental stuff about guys. just remember most of us like disney, sports, fishing and beer and um uh "adult exercises"

 

[LisaMaz]

We are the only one's posting - but it seems people are viewing this thread - so if its ok - I'm gonna keep on posting.... I got a million of 'em....

A Mother’s Way vs. A Daughter’s Way

Mother’s Way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Daughter’s Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Mother’s Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Daughter’s Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Mother’s Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Daughter’s Way: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Mother’s Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Daughter’s Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Mother’s Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Daughter’s Way: Celery? Never heard of it!

Mother’s Way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Daughter’s Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Mother’s Way: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Daughter’s Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Mother’s Way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Daughter’s Way: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Mother’s Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Daughter’s Way: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

Wow very helpful I never knew these. I guess I'm more like a daughter than a mother. I am a mother O well!

thanks for the post they are very helpful for Mother's Day!

 

[LisaMaz]

Here's something a friend emailed me it's beautiful.

MOTHER
This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece please
read this at a slow pace, digesting every word and in
leisure...do not hurry....this is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,
this is beautiful. For those of us who aren't, this is
even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you'll love this.





The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is
this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But
the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these years. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage.
Today, I 've given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.
" And the children looked and saw above the clouds
an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
darkness. And that night the Mother said,
"This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And
mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end
is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them."



And the children said, "You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
is a living presence......."



Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives
inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you.

Not time, not space... not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS & CHILDREN YOU KNOW.
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED...

Pass it on to the men because they have mothers too....

 

[mickeymousemom]

Here's one of my favorites:

Wet Oatmeal Kisses

"The baby is teething; the children are fighting. My husband just
called- to eat dinner without him."

Okay, one of these days you'll shout! "Why don't you grow up and act
your age!" And they will. Or: "You guys get outside and find
yourselves something to do...and don't slam the door!" And they
won't.

You'll straighten up their bedrooms neat and tidy...bedspreads tucked
and smooth...toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet.
Animals caged. And you'll say out loud: "Now I want it to stay this
way." And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked
to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing and you'll say:
"Now there's a meal for company." But you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around.
No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear!" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more anxious
nights under a vaporizer tent. No more dandelion bouquets; or wet,
knotted shoestrings; tight boots, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine. A lipstick with a point. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve.
washing clothes only once a week. No PTA meetings. No car pools.
No blaring radios. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and
library paste. No more wet oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No
giggles in the dark. No knees to heal.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up."
And the silence echoing, "I did."

Have you hugged your children today; looked them in the eyes and told
them how very loved they are?


I just found this thread and love it...thanks mojophone...

 

[mojophone]

Here's one of my favorites:

Wet Oatmeal Kisses

"The baby is teething; the children are fighting. My husband just
called- to eat dinner without him."

Okay, one of these days you'll shout! "Why don't you grow up and act
your age!" And they will. Or: "You guys get outside and find
yourselves something to do...and don't slam the door!" And they
won't.

You'll straighten up their bedrooms neat and tidy...bedspreads tucked
and smooth...toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet.
Animals caged. And you'll say out loud: "Now I want it to stay this
way." And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked
to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing and you'll say:
"Now there's a meal for company." But you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around.
No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear!" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more anxious
nights under a vaporizer tent. No more dandelion bouquets; or wet,
knotted shoestrings; tight boots, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine. A lipstick with a point. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve.
washing clothes only once a week. No PTA meetings. No car pools.
No blaring radios. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and
library paste. No more wet oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No
giggles in the dark. No knees to heal.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up."
And the silence echoing, "I did."

Have you hugged your children today; looked them in the eyes and told
them how very loved they are?


I just found this thread and love it...thanks mojophone...

You know, my kids drive me nuts and I do so wish they would just grow up sometimes, but yet at the same time I am so afraid they will and I know that they are and miss things already.

 

[mojophone]

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Debbie.



When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Debbie to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Debbie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....

Signed. Bob See editors note below

EDITOR'S NOTE: Bob died suddenly on May 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed up his ***, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Debbie was arrested and charged with murder; however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that he accidentally sat down on it...