Foot in mouth situation

[Skywalker]

My first baby sitting job was a Saturday afternoon for a few hours. The parents were all dressed up and without thinking I smiled and waved and said "Have a good time!!!!" Like a dork. The wife looked at me and said "We are going to a funeral." ouch.

Another time I was going to be in a friend's wedding and I was very self-conscious because I just started wearing glasses. I wanted to get contacts for that day and I blurted out "I would just feel like such a loser in a beautiful dress, nice hairstyle and GLASSES!" The bride's mother and sister both glared at me and I realized, they both wore glasses. The mother said "Oh well I guess I will look like a loser too." Sigh. I try not to be so self-absorbed now lol.

 

[antmaril]

I once complimented an attorney I worked with on how well his gray shirt matched his light gray tie. He responded that the shirt was supposed to be white. I burst out laughing and so did he. He was a great guy and we had worked together for quite a while, so it was a very funny moment for both of us

 

[Mousemommy1]

More times than I can count. I have a special knack for it unfortunately. I have been dying to ask a teacher at the kids school if she is pregnant, but have showed amazing restraint because I don't want to have that moment.

 

[KimR]

More times than I can count. I have a special knack for it unfortunately. I have been dying to ask a teacher at the kids school if she is pregnant, but have showed amazing restraint because I don't want to have that moment.

My DD gave me a tip that works well in this situation. Instead of asking if she is pregnant, ask her how many children she has.

 

[DWGal210]

More times than I can count. I have a special knack for it unfortunately. I have been dying to ask a teacher at the kids school if she is pregnant, but have showed amazing restraint because I don't want to have that moment.

Makes me think of this graphic...

 

[rickybobby]

That's right. Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you already know the answer.

 

[MamaLema]

During my psychology class in college, the teacher was explaining some difficult subject matter. A girl raised her hand, asking the teacher for clarification because she didn't understand.

The teacher explained "Imagine both your parents died in a car accident.." and she continued with her example. Later we all learned that young girl's parents both died in car accident a few months ago.

 

[paintnolish]

Ooh, I thought of another one: I was taking to my freshman class and combined "fair" and "part" to say "fart." There's no recovering from fart humor in a class of 14 year olds!

 

[Mousemommy1]

My DD gave me a tip that works well in this situation. Instead of asking if she is pregnant, ask her how many children she has.

That's a good one!!!

Funny enough, I was just at the store and saw a friend I haven't seen in a very long time, and my eyes went directly to her belly -- we were in the sporting goods section when I felt the urge to ask and blurted out "smuggling a soccer ball in there???" -- Thank god she was pregnant!!!

 

[disneydee6]

I just thought of another! (Man, I'm awful!)

I went to college orientation (before you made all your friends on FB prior to college). In my 'group' there was a girl that was getting pestered by this guy, who clearly liked her. During our short orientation of 3 days, she kept complaining to me about how he was constantly bothering her and so on.

Flash forward a month later I see her once the semester had begun. After chit chatting I asked, "So, have you seen that annoying guy that was practically stalking you at orientation?"

Her response, "Yes. We're dating now."

 

[Carina]

That's right. Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you already know the answer.

In her book, Mia Vardalos says it's OK to ask a woman if she is pregnant when she is in labour and has a foot dangling from her ______ (fill in the blank)

LMAO

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Many moons ago I was a young nurse walking into a patient's room one day when a young resident nearby on rounds dashed away from the group yelling to me, "Don't go in there! The patient has shingles and it could be harmful to the baby!" I had a smock type thing on but wasn't pregnant, and he was mortified, but I assured him I appreciated his concern, lol. It taught me that rule about NEVER assuming someone is pregnant.

Well one day at work many years later, I was so sure of what I was seeing that I congratulated someone on her apparent pregnancy. The minute the words left my mouth, I knew I was in big trouble. This (then, to me) older woman simply turned her head toward me, looking over her reading glasses and said, "I'm not pregnant". To compound my error, I blabberred on about hearing she was. "What?" She said, still glaring at me. "Where'd you hear that?"

That was the absolute LAST time I've ever done it, even when I'm quite sure someone's probably expecting. Now I just wait till THEY tell ME. The graph is HILARIOUS, and so true!!

 

[mimmi]

When I was 17 I had a summer job at a post office, in German, the fee for posting a letter is called "Porto" while Porn is "Porno".
I told a customer that he had to pay 50 cents porn.

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

My BIL and DH were on a campout with their daughters (Indian Princesses) this past weekend. BIL is in charge of cooking and had made a beef tenderloin and marinated it in some special recipe. One of the other dads asked him for his recipe and he quickly replied, "Ancient Chinese Secret" accent and all. He had no idea of his blunder until my DH pointed out that he had said this to an Asian man!

 

[kcool]

I invited a good friend to go camping with my family. Her daughter brought along a friend(teenage girls). At one point the subject of names came up and I was explaining that I did not want to name my boys names that could be considered feminine. I told the group about my son having a little girl friend who had a very masculine name and also mentioned this little girls sisters name (also masculine). Turned out that these girls were cousins of my friends daughter. I have always wondered if the cousin told the mother of my sons friends...on a side note, both of my boys (ages 14 and 9) names are being used for girls now. That is what I get, I suppose.

 

[cjbcam]

I was helping some kids decorate cookies at a fun night at the school. We were done and this older man (I would guess older than my own dad) came up to the girl sitting next to my DD (2nd grade). I said are you going to share with your Grandpa? He looked at me grabbed her and said "I AM HER DAD!" and walked off. Everyone in the room heard because he kind of yelled it at me. I wanted to crawl under a rock.