Feeling resentful over dress requirements

[EnchantedTikiGal]

Why would this bother you and why the rant? Did someone trick you into booking a cruise by telling you tank tops and swim shorts were OK to wear all over the ship and now you found out different? The majority in the dining rooms do dress nice. It is not a secret and it is not like there aren't already a thousand threads on here discussing it. The information is also on the DCL website so I don't get where the resentment is coming from.
Do you want DCL to change the dining room dress code just for you because you are the special exception out of 2500 guests with your "So Californian" ways, or did you post to get the same reactions that have already been posted here before?
If you don't like it find another vacation where you feel comfortable why go if you are feeling this way before you even leave?

Wow harsh.. Thanks! I fully admitted I was just stressed out over it, and that I will be complying with what's expected. Because in reality, trying to plan a trip and pack an entirely different wardrobe than we ever wear for dinner, is stressful. But, thanks to the advice here and recommendations/experience of some people, I was able to get a better idea what to take. Why did I rant? Because that's what we do, we support each other and get info here. Because I knew others would understand. I never attacked anyone, if people want to wear gowns and tuxes because that's what they enjoy, that's awesome. Stating that I DONT enjoy it, is also perfectly acceptable. Maybe others have said the same thing in the past, but this is MY first time experiencing it, and my first vacation where I've been asked to dress a certain way, I'm trying to find a good balance between being proper, and being relaxed and unstressed on the vacation that I'm paying for.

And FYI, I do not wear tanks or swim shorts, I never had any intention of doing such. But thanks to the people that WERE helpful, I know that my boys will be perfectly fine in their hawaiian shirts and I don't have to bother buying polos for them.

Tearing me down was uncalled for, hope it was worth it for you throwing a damper on my day and my enjoyment reading the boards this morning.

 

[pdwimmer]

Wow harsh.. Thanks! I fully admitted I was just stressed out over it, and that I have I will be complying with what's expected. Because in reality, trying to plan a trip and pack an entirely different wardrobe than we ever wear for dinner, is stressful. But, thanks to the advice here and recommendations/experience of some people, I was able to get a better idea what to take. Why did I rant? Because that's what we do, we support each other and get info here. Because I knew others would understand. I never attacked anyone, if people want to wear gowns and tuxes because that's what they enjoy, that's awesome. Stating that I DONT enjoy it, is also perfectly acceptable. Maybe others have said the same thing in the past, but this is MY first time experiencing it, and my first vacation where I've been asked to dress a certain way, I'm trying to find a good balance between being proper, and being relaxed and unstressed on the vacation that I'm paying for.

And FYI, I do not wear tanks or swim shorts, I never had any intention of doing such. But thanks to the people that WERE helpful, I know that my boys will be perfectly fine in their hawaiian shirts and I don't have to bother buying polos for them.

Tearing me down was uncalled for, hope it was worth it for you throwing a damper on my day and my enjoyment reading the boards this morning.

It's not your fault. I learned from experience that there a lot of not so happy Disney folks on this board. My husband told me to suck it up. But I do get your frustration. Why do people have to be so unkind? We are only on this earth for a short time and it would be nice if people could get their head out of you know where and mind their own business. I'm just saying......

You are fine, don't buy another woardrobe. Nice pressed shorts will work!

 

[justmestace]

Well, I guess it depends on what is important to a specific person. I find DCL to be nicer just due to the nicer people that travel on the ship. Because most people are geared more towards "family" activities, even if they don't have any kids with them that trip, they are generally more respectful of fellow passengers and don't judge them for not having enough money to buy clothes they will never wear again. They also understand when someone else's exhausted toddler has a melt down because the day has just gone on too long for them.

When I was a kid I sailed on at least 50 cruises with my parents all over the world. We were required to dress to the nines every single night for dinner and there were no fast food, room service, etc. back then. (seriously I am not that old. I'm only 40...) So you didn't really see a lot of little kids on these cruises. My sister and I were two of possibly 20 kids every single cruise we went on.

I think everyone has to take into account DCL caters to children and not be such a snippy, unkind, and rude person to others that don't feel the same as you do. Just like you wouldn't give parenting advice to someone unless you were their personal close friend and felt for the child's safety.

This post is a perfect example of how people judge and compare DCL to other cruise lines.
I've cruised on a lot of different lines, too....and I see the same types of people on every single cruise, including Disney. Some are tolerant, some aren't. People are people no matter how they vacation.

I've never seen a crew member on any other line be nasty to a child who was over-tired or even just plain naughty.....they wouldn't have their job for long if they did.
And I have seen (even on these boards) people complain about kids' behavior on Disney.
I know I'm not writing this well, but I'm trying to say that you'll find equal numbers of nice people and nasty people everywhere you go.

 

[EnchantedTikiGal]

Why did you have to know this before you booked? I know this is a figure of speech but I seriously doubt people booking their first Disney Cruise go and read all the rules and dress codes before they book.

The other thing is, the dress code is not really a 'code'....just a suggestion.

If it were my crusieline, I'd put it out in black and white:

1. If you wear a swim suit or cut-offs to dinner, our waiters will point to the elevator where you can eat on Deck 9 but you won't be allowed in.

2. If you want to wear jeans, that's ok but you might look a little out of place on formal night....but we'll still let you in to dine.

3. A jacket and tie are NOT required but many diners wear them

4. An evening dress is NOT required but many diners wear them

5. On most nights, if you wear what you would wear to Outback or Olive Garden or Ruby Tuesday or Applebees, you will not be out of place

6. Formal and semi-formal nights will provide the opportunty for families to dress up a little and have some nice picuters taken in evening wear. If you chose not to participate, see dress per item #5 and you won't stand out too much.

OK, these are MY interpretation of the dress code. YMMV.

Thanks! I like your interpretations I really appreciate the folks who've helped me see that we WONT stand out like a sore thumb if we're not in suits and ties. I have a few sundresses I'll wear with a shrug over the top that are comfy and it'll just have to do!


I've also gathered there may be a few people who think to themselves what uncultured swine I must be, but I'm gonna just say to myself "screw em", cause I paid just as much to be there, and my children's behavior matters a ton more than the length of their pants. I'd rather see behaved kids sitting and eating dinner enjoyably with their families, than obnoxious ones screaming while dressed in stuffy dress clothes and their parents not doing anything about it.

 

[Macmaro]

Of all the important things in life to actually worry about, this is one thing I will not worry about again. The bottom line is that they are requests. I was actually stressed about this issue before our recent cruise and I wish I hadn't. I went back and forth on the idea of trying to rent a tuxedo or actually buying a jacket or suit and settled on a tie. I was comfortable and I couldn't care any less about what others thought of me. Why would anyone be looking at me anyway?

Be yourself. If laid back is your thing, then be that. If being pretentious is your thing, then be that. If you're in the middle, then be that. I don't care what you do when you're on the same cruise as I am. Just be civil. I don't understand why everyone has to get this sense of moral superiorty over something as silly as what others put on their own body.

To those that recommend guests that don't wish to wear a tuxedo should dine elsewhere, perhaps it is you that should petition to Disney to to create a seperate environment for those that want to play dress up. Now that I think about it, I guess Palo and Remy are those places.

Remember that it is family cruise and not a state dinner. Have fun. Enjoy Disney service. Be comfortable and happy. Most all, cherish those moments you get to spend with your loved ones. Afer all, that's why I take a Disney cruise. The smile my four year old daughter wears is the ONLY attire I care about on anyone besides myself.

 

[mcd2745]

I really don't understand the "dress code police" on these threads. I'm sorry, but it's really difficult to see them as anything other than elitist snobs. Many people have to dress formally for work every day. A vaction is supposed to be a break from the "every day". So I don't see the big deal in people wanting to dress comfortably while on vacation. Now, I don't think swimwear, tee shirts/tank tops, etc. are appropriate. There is a huge difference between casual versus sloppy or unpresentable, but those "dress code police" don't seem to think so. They see shorts in the dining room as some type of destruction of civilization. However, if someone's wearing a nice pair of "khaki-type" shorts and a nice button-down shirt or polo - I don't see anything wrong with that. If someone's wearing a suit or even tuxedo...there's nothing wrong with that either. To each his/her own. The attire of another person - who you don't know - should have zero bearing on your enjoyment of your own dinner experience.

 

[palmtreegirl]

I really don't understand the "dress code police" on these threads. I'm sorry, but it's really difficult to see them as anything other than elitist snobs. Many people have to dress formally for work every day. A vaction is supposed to be a break from the "every day". So I don't see the big deal in people wanting to dress comfortably while on vacation. I don't think swimwear, tee shirts/tank tops, etc. are appropriate. There is a huge difference between casual and sloppy or unpresentable, but those "dress code police" don't seem to think so. They see shorts in the dining room as some type of destruction of civilization. However, if someone's wearing a nice pair of "khaki-type" shorts and a nice button-down shirt or polo - I don't see anything wrong with that. If someone's wearing a suit or even tuxedo...there's nothing wrong with that either. To each his/her own. The attire of another person - who you don't know - should have zero bearing on your enjoyment of your own dinner experience.

 

[pag1164]

I keep reading how it is suggested that men wear ties or button down shirts. My husband hates both. He does, however, have several very nice sweaters which my daughter and I bought him to wear to the theater. Since we do not plan on going to Palo, I assume that what he wears to the theater would be appropriate for dinner and formal night (since he has no plans whatsoever to wear a tux or a suit). What he wears to the theater is a sweater, nice black pants, and black shoes - not super dressy or formal, but dressy-casual, if that makes sense. From what I've read, that attire should be fine. Am I correct? Thanks.

 

[justmestace]

Of all the important things in life to actually worry about, this is one thing I will not worry about again. The bottom line is that they are requests. I was actually stressed about this issue before our recent cruise and I wish I hadn't. I went back and forth on the idea of trying to rent a tuxedo or actually buying a jacket or suit and settled on a tie. I was comfortable and I couldn't care any less about what others thought of me. Why would anyone be looking at me anyway?

Be yourself. If laid back is your thing, then be that. If being pretentious is your thing, then be that. If you're in the middle, then be that. I don't care what you do when you're on the same cruise as I am. Just be civil. I don't understand why everyone has to get this sense of moral superiorty over something as silly as what others put on their own body.

To those that recommend guests that don't wish to wear a tuxedo should dine elsewhere, perhaps it is you that should petition to Disney to to create a seperate environment for those that want to play dress up. Now that I think about it, I guess Palo and Remy are those places.

Remember that it is family cruise and not a state dinner. Have fun. Enjoy Disney service. Be comfortable and happy. Most all, cherish those moments you get to spend with your loved ones. Afer all, that's why I take a Disney cruise. The smile my four year old daughter wears is the ONLY attire I care about on anyone besides myself.

So you're saying that people who enjoy dressing for dinner are pretentious? That's not judgemental, is it?

 

[justmestace]

I keep reading how it is suggested that men wear ties or button down shirts. My husband hates both. He does, however, have several very nice sweaters which my daughter and I bought him to wear to the theater. Since we do not plan on going to Palo, I assume that what he wears to the theater would be appropriate for dinner and formal night (since he has no plans whatsoever to wear a tux or a suit). What he wears to the theater is a sweater, nice black pants, and black shoes - not super dressy or formal, but dressy-casual, if that makes sense. From what I've read, that attire should be fine. Am I correct? Thanks.

For the theater and the main dining rooms, that will be fine.
Sometimes it's cold in the theater and the dining rooms, so you all might want to take sweaters.

 

[justmestace]

I guess what I was trying to say before was that everyone really enjoys the fact that Disney Cruise Line maintains a level of respectability. They're known for their cleanliness, and for being a cut above the rest (except for the really fancy specialty cruise lines) and if DCL is going to maintain those standards, the passengers have to take some responsibility for that....both in the way that they dress respectfully and behave respectfully.

 

[Wadekind]

I guess what I was trying to say before was that everyone really enjoys the fact that Disney Cruise Line maintains a level of respectability. They're known for their cleanliness, and for being a cut above the rest (except for the really fancy specialty cruise lines) and if DCL is going to maintain those standards, the passengers have to take some responsibility for that....both in the way that they dress respectfully and behave respectfully.

:

 

[pdwimmer]

I am going to put in my last two cents for anyone who cares.

1) Dress in clean pressed clothes
2) Do not wear a swimsuit with a cover up
3) DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS.

I have been with other diners that were dressed well but were obnoxious, drunk, smelled and didn't take a shower before they changed into dinner clothing. I have also been with dinners that took a quick shower and put on clean and presentable clothes, no make-up/jewelry and were by far a much more presentable and nice group.

I am really exhausted with this board. Why does everyone have to be so judgmental? Again I stress, we are on this earth for a short time and no amount of being nasty at another person will make anyone one of us a more caring or thoughtful person. Look within ..... I do everyday and still have many faults that I try to correct. I'm not there by a long shot.

 

[Rogillio]

I really don't understand the "dress code police" on these threads. I'm sorry, but it's really difficult to see them as anything other than elitist snobs. Many people have to dress formally for work every day. A vaction is supposed to be a break from the "every day". So I don't see the big deal in people wanting to dress comfortably while on vacation. Now, I don't think swimwear, tee shirts/tank tops, etc. are appropriate. There is a huge difference between casual versus sloppy or unpresentable, but those "dress code police" don't seem to think so. They see shorts in the dining room as some type of destruction of civilization. However, if someone's wearing a nice pair of "khaki-type" shorts and a nice button-down shirt or polo - I don't see anything wrong with that. If someone's wearing a suit or even tuxedo...there's nothing wrong with that either. To each his/her own. The attire of another person - who you don't know - should have zero bearing on your enjoyment of your own dinner experience.

This is funny becuase I was thinking just the opposite. When I hired in at my company 24 years ago everyone wore long sleeved shirts, slacks and ties. Sometime about the mid-90s they started 'casual Friday' and it was a slippery slope! Over the next several years dress got more and more casual.

Now days, if you see someone wearing a tie you jokingly ask them if they have a job interview!

Our church has even gone casual.....about the only time I wear a suit or jaket anymore is to wedding and funerals....and even those are getting more casual.

So with nearly all of society getting more casual, it seems odd to many to dress up for dinner while they are on vacation.

Anyway, there will always people people who love to go to dinner looking like Bond....James Bond....and Jame's cover-girl date.

For me personally, I'm more concerned with behavior then dress. I'd much rather sit by a family who speak softly and are under-dressed than a family who is dressed to kill but are loud and/or obnoxious.

 

[justmestace]

I am going to put in my last two cents for anyone who cares.

1) Dress in clean pressed clothes
2) Do not wear a swimsuit with a cover up
3) DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS.

I have been with other diners that were dressed well but were obnoxious, drunk, smelled and didn't take a shower before they changed into dinner clothing. I have also been with dinners that took a quick shower and put on clean and presentable clothes, no make-up/jewelry and were by far a much more presentable and nice group.

I am really exhausted with this board. Why does everyone have to be so judgmental? Again I stress, we are on this earth for a short time and no amount of being nasty at another person will make anyone one of us a more caring or thoughtful person. Look within ..... I do everyday and still have many faults that I try to correct. I'm not there by a long shot.

I'm hoping you meant WEAR a cover-up over your swimsuit....

 

[viniesmom]

I'd rather see behaved kids sitting and eating dinner enjoyably with their families, than obnoxious ones screaming while dressed in stuffy dress clothes and their parents not doing anything about it.
__________________
I absolutely agree. Kids will be kids, they didn't ask to sit in a huge, loud dining room for 90 minutes.

 

[Wadekind]

We are only on this earth for a short time and it would be nice if people could get their head out of you know where and mind their own business. I'm just saying......

You are fine, don't buy another woardrobe. Nice pressed shorts will work!

Mind your own business on a public message board? The title of this thread is about feeling resentful, the OP's first sentence admits to sounding like a brat and OP calls it a rant but everyone is supposed to agree with OP's take on the dress code?

 

[mcd2745]

For me personally, I'm more concerned with behavior then dress. I'd much rather sit by a family who speak softly and are under-dressed than a family who is dressed to kill but are loud and/or obnoxious.

I agree 1000%. People make judgements of others based on how they're dressed because it's quick and easy, but it really means so little.

I guess what I was trying to say before was that everyone really enjoys the fact that Disney Cruise Line maintains a level of respectability. They're known for their cleanliness, and for being a cut above the rest (except for the really fancy specialty cruise lines) and if DCL is going to maintain those standards, the passengers have to take some responsibility for that....both in the way that they dress respectfully and behave respectfully.

See above. If I were putting percentages on it, behavior would account for 98% of that responsibility and how one dresses would make up only the other 2%. In my experience, in many instances, people who are always dressing to the nines do so in an attempt to distract you from their flaws.

 

[pdwimmer]

Mind your own business on a public message board? The title of this thread is about feeling resentful, the OP's first sentence admits to sounding like a brat and OP calls it a rant but everyone is supposed to agree with OP's take on the dress code?

I am so horrible at this. What I meant was if you do not have something helpful to contribute, not meaning you, just anyone, don't contribute. This world is full of enough stress, horrible things to deal with etc.

For example, I have to watch dozens of people die everyday of cancer. Then I spend the remainder of my day helping families with the untimely death of their loved ones.

So I can honestly give a, excuse my language, A RATS ***, about what someone chooses to wear to dinner.

Get a life already.

 

[pdwimmer]

I'm hoping you meant WEAR a cover-up over your swimsuit....

Oops, I did mean that, thanks so much I am silly.