Feeling Horrible: Just found out how much in Debt we REALLY are...

[milwaukeemommy]

I haven't read all the responses but just want to post if for no reason than to send virtual hugs. I just posted my own thread regarding debt woes -- so we can be miserable together

 

[shortbun]

You gotta not only take charge of paying but you have to take all the cards from him, right away. Also, the mail should all go to you. He's irresponsible and he'll drag you down with him. If I were in your shoes, I'd also get him into counselling. You both need clarity regarding why he does what he does.

 

[csharpwv]

My suggestion - ditch cable, home phone, AND (ugh) internet.

If you are paying $120+ a month for cable, phone, and internet that is $1,440 a year right off the top of your expenses.

If you have two vehicles, consider selling one (gas, insurance etc)

If your utilities seem unreasonable, check and see why.

As many others have said - DO NOT EAT OUT!

The reality that sets in when you realize that you owe more than you can pay off in a year, you will begin to understand how big your problem REALLY is, not just how big the number is.

The holidays are coming up - and you will be tempted to spend money on gifts.... don't. Don't be tempted, don't spend the money - if it means missing a party or two because you don't have a gift... so what?

We are living in such a consumer society that 'consumption' has become as much a part of our lives, as saving was a part of the great depression generation.

When you look at your debt from the historical view... when did you go wrong?

Buy a new car?
Buy a house you couldn't afford?
Buy furnishings you couldn't afford?

The list goes on.... and on - one BIG mistake leads to dozens of smaller mistakes that snowball in to mistakes that become a way of life.

Personally, I am horrible at using the credit card JUST to get the rewards/loyalty points... yeah, not a great reason to use a credit card.

You really have to remember that ever dollar matters when you paying down debt. Every....single...dollar.

If you owe $20,000 one day, that figure could drop below $20,000 tomorrow - $19,999 is only one dollar less.... BUT, it is less than you owed yesterday!

It won't happen overnight, you won't pay down your debt in an instant. BUT, what you have to do is set a payoff goal date. 3 years - 5 years - 10 years - whatever fits your debt amount, and your budget. BUT having a deadline - or goal date - provides you with the ability to see a point in your future when you WILL be debt free.

Don't drown in debt, pace yourself, swim slowly, take advantage of every piece of driftwood so you don't have to swim the entire time - BUT keep your budget focused on a goal - ZERO DEBT.

Remember, if you do have to buy something DO NOT SHOP RETAIL! Don't even shop retail - let alone buy retail.

Spend as much time budgeting as you used to spend shopping.

We all buy things we don't need - and it really can become a habit, but take your time when shopping, buying, and budgeting!



It is hard work, but it will pay off!

 

[LMC]

When this happened to us and my husband could not control his spending, I let his cards go delinquent and then close, then he couldn't use them anymore. I was tired of paying them off and transfering his balances to mine because my rates were lower just so he would run them up again, so I found a way to fix it by his own actions. I began paying EVERYTHING else first, and his debt last and problem resolved. We are now almost out of temendous debt after 4 yrs of hard work. We went along time without eating out (my 3 kids didn't understand) but things are better now. I was able to get the credit card companies to reduce our interest so I could continue to make payments. If your situation is that extreme, you can call them and ask for a hardship reduction in your rates. Some of your cards may get closed but you're not going to use them anyway right?

 

[manning]

Go to Dave Ramsey web site and see if his radio program is broadcast in your area. There is a lot of info given out on his show.