Feeling empty...broken and so very sad..

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by Kindigo, Sep 24, 2012.

  1. Kindigo

    Kindigo Canadian Disney Lover!

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    I am writing this because they sad getting your feelings out helps some. Even though I am in tears as I type.

    This past few weeks have been torture in our home as my husband of three years and partner, lover, friend and everything of more then 10 decided he is unhappy and doesn't love me anymore. There is no fixing it, I have tried so very hard to see what we can do. But when someone comes to you and just say they are done trying to make a marriage work, what can you do? I can't make him stay, I can't make him love me.

    There are other factors that led to the break down of the marriage. But I refuse to slander or say hurtful things about him.

    He still wants to be friends, and I know that is going to be so very hard. Emotionally right now I am a wreck, not eating, sleeping and just crying all the time. It doesn't feel like things will ever get better.

    I am just so lost... I don't know what to do or where to start. He's always been there and I sort of relied on him for everything. I don't drive, he does, no license for me. He takes care of the bills and money. We both work, but he has always been the responsible one for day to day stuff.

    I know this is long winded but it feels better to type this out. I just want to stop being so sad and feel whole again.

    Part of my thinks this is just a bad nightmare that I will wake up from, but everyday I do wake up and find him not here is when I realize it's real. This is my life now and nothing I can do can change things.
     
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  3. Southern Bell

    Southern Bell DIS Veteran

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    Its easy to be on this end and say things will get better. But they will. Try to stay busy or be with a good friend or your family. Once during the loss of a loved one a person patted me on the shoulder and said It just takes time. That made more since to me than anything I had been told.
     
  4. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    I am so terribly sorry.... I wish I could take your pain away, I can feel it through your post...

    I agree, time will prevail. You naturally can not see that now, you have raw pain..

    If this is it, then I would get some legal consultation ASAP.. Get your ducks in a row so to speak...First and foremost, that would be on my agenda..

    Please feel free anytime to share here, that is what this is for. Also, I see we are only a province away!..If you would like to private message me feel free..

    Hugs to you :grouphug::hug:
     
  5. RickyMouseMom

    RickyMouseMom Mouseketeer

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    i am so very sorry. My heart is crying for you....as an outsider I know that you may feel that you won't ever get through this pain and hurt....but you will slowly. Your days will become brighter slowly....they may just begin as moments, and there will be rollercoasters....but you will get through this dark tunnel. YOu need to look within, and begin to build a new, and improved, you. Your 'old' and 'familiar' life may be over, but that doesnt mean that you won't have a 'new' and 'different' but GOOD life! Remember that just because you cant see through the storm now doesnt mean that there isnt sunshine waiting (and maybe a rainbow). :)
     
  6. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Just wondering how you are doing. Thoughts are with you.
     
  7. disneychic2

    disneychic2 DIS Veteran

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    How sad for you! I hope things are getting better each day. It looks like you depended on him for a lot and that makes things even more difficult. I know when I got divorced, I felt like a complete failure. Please don't feel that way. I have been married to my current husband for 27 years and until I knew him, I didn't really know what I was missing. He makes me feel so special, even after all these years. So, there is hope of a new and brighter beginning on down the road. But first, know that you don't need someone else to make you special and whole. You can survive and probably surprise yourself at what you can do. Best of luck to you and may God Bless you!
     
  8. Kindigo

    Kindigo Canadian Disney Lover!

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    A bit of an update. Things are slowly getting better. I have sort of been throwing myself into work in order to help me cope. It know that isn't the best thing to do. But it has helped and hanging out with co workers has also helped. At this point my soon to be Ex and I are being civil and friendly. I have found a buyer for our home and will be moving back in with my parents. Things will get better I know that. Again time is what I need and I am getting lots of that now.
     
  9. ctl

    ctl Mouseketeer

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    Kindigo, so glad things are improving for you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, things will get better. Sending you hugs.:grouphug:
     
  10. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Thank you for the update. There is no right/wrong in my opinion. You do what you need to do to get through.

    Glad to hear you have a support group. Hugs to you:grouphug:
     
  11. kymom99

    kymom99 DIS Veteran

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    There is a website dailystrength.org that offers groups for hundreds of different life issues. My husband and I have been going through a lot of relationship issues over the past few years and I wish I had found this site sooner. It could have prevented some heartache. Best of luck to you and hope it helps.
     
  12. ccgirl

    ccgirl DIS Veteran

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    I'm so sorry to hear this and glad to hear things are a bit better. I know you don't feel like things will get better but, in time, they will.

    WOrk on yourself for a while and let yourself be pampered. Maybe get your license so you can be a bit more independent and can take yourself where you need to go. Things WILL be better. It will take time.

    Love and hugs to you.
     
  13. Kindigo

    Kindigo Canadian Disney Lover!

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    Thought I would throw in another update. I am still alive and kicking. Working tunes to pay for my next Disney trip 2013, yes I am still going with a very dear friend who I have grown very close to these past few months. We'll have to see what happen. Not rushing anything though, taking my time and trying to enjoy my life as well as reflect a lot.

    I hope everyone had a very safe and happy holiday season. And I look forward to sharing my Dis planning again, and reading lots of posts from other people.

    Thank you for all the support and kind words!:grouphug:
     
  14. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

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    Glad to hear you are doing well and moving on slowly. Having a friend to share things with is a big help. Having a future Disney trip is a great distraction.

    Continue to wear your smile and you will grow stronger.
     
  15. kandb

    kandb DIS Veteran

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    Good for you. And yes, life does go on. Take time out and spoil yourself. Best of luck for your future.:)
     
  16. NumberOneDisneyFan

    NumberOneDisneyFan #1 Disney Fan

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    I am sorry to read about the painful time you are going through.

    There are no easy fixes to heartache.

    Please spend time with friends and keep a smile on your face. It will "fool" your brain into feeling better.

    Go to a "Meetup" with people who share your hobbies or interests and find other people to help fill the void.

    Good luck, and I will pray for you...
     
  17. Irony personified

    Irony personified Blackjackdelta's WIFE

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    I also feel sooo sad and depressed. Last August on the Thursday after my husband and two of our four children returned from Disneyland, he had a major MI. And on that Saturday, I discovered numerous text messages from HIS girlfriend. His girlfriend that he met on these Disboards. I believed him it would stop. Of course that was a huge lie. She continued to text and send lots of pictures and videos. This woman runs a daycare, and you cannot imagine the movies I've seen. In one of them the necklace that I walked miles around Disneyland to help him find, is all she is wearing. I was told it was for a coworkers daughter! Slap me silly!!! Needless to say the lies just continue to this day. As I sat at his bedside post open heart surgery, she was having lunch at Club 33, with reservations he got for her. So far I think she has received more delivered flowers than I have in 30 years of marriage. But at this point, I'm trying to keep it together. Our three daughters know of the affair, our son has no idea. It would devastate him. All my husband can say is it was just a "fantasy". Seems pretty f.....ing real to me. I get through each day with meds. It SUCKS.
     
  18. bxccah

    bxccah Ch-Ch-Ch-ChipnDale!

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    I'm so sorry to hear this. That must be truly awful. I'm still a young girl, so I can't say I understand- my relationships have all ended in silly arguments normally due to a boyfriend sleeping with someone else, and I get broken hearted. I've decided I'm going to stay single now until I find someone decent.

    However, I do know first hand how depression feels. I've been suffering with severe clinical depression since I was a kid, I've been in and out of psychiatric hospitals throughout my teenage years and I can't get through the day without taking my meds. Even now, I feel like a wreck. Even though the pain is for different reasons (mine stemmed from abuse) I know how hard it is just to keep going through the day.

    I truly hope you feel better soon. Try to be with the people who make you happy, and spend time with your children- I know that when my aunt finds herself getting very depressed about her marriage and her child (She lost her daughter 10 years ago) she finds it easier to cope if she's around her close friends.

    Hugs, love and pixie dust from Becca
     
  19. Robbi

    Robbi DIS Veteran

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    Kindigo, I'm happy to read you're doing better.

    Irony, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Shame on your husband and on the woman.
     
  20. disneym2m

    disneym2m I am only allowed to visit WDW once every 5 years.

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    I am so glad that you are feeling a little better. I know it is not easy and I do feel your pain.

    Keep doing what you are doing. Take things just one day at a time.

    Lots of support hugs and pixie dust.
     

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