Favorite Jungle Cruise Quotes

[ZephyrHawk]

So I was reading another thread and something someone posted reminded me of a joke DH and I heard from one of the Jungle Cruise captains on our last trip to the MK. As the boat is being "threatened" by hippos the captain assures us, "Don't worry folks, I'll scare it off with my gun." Running to the side of the boat he flashes his gun at the animal and shouts "I HAVE A PISTOL!!!!"

We laughed about that all week, and I laughed aloud again remembering it. So tell us, what's your favorite Jungle Cruise memory?

 

[Robo]

So tell us, what's your favorite Jungle Cruise memory?

SKIPPER: Well, did everyone enjoy this trip on the world famous Disney Jungle Cruise?"

CREW: Yeah! Yes! (etc.)

SKIPPER: Well, I know I sure did. I enjoyed it so much that I think I'll go around again!

And, again!

And, again.

And, again...

Every ten minutes.

For the rest of my life...


(Stay in school, kids.)

 

[AprilRenee]

Mine was the same point in the ride except instead of yelling "I have a pistol" our skipper ran over to the side, pointed her gun and went "pew...pew...pew, pew..." Like making these pathetic little gun noises. It was hilarious! We quote it too!

We also had a fantastic skipper on our first ever ride. We rode it at night and when we got to Schwartzer Falls (or whatever the name is) instead of saying the joke about the guy's last name being Falls. He flashed his flashlight around on the water and said "hey look...it's Fantasmic!!" DH and I busted up laughing cause we had just seen Fantasmic for the first time the night before and we were less than impressed (We've seen it since and like it a little better now). Where we were sitting for Fantasmic it really was just a whole lot of watching movie clips on misting water so flashing a light on the falls was hysterical to us.

 

[Mama Who]

I still think "back side of water" is the funniest thing I've ever heard.

 

[JDMickey]

"If you've enjoyed the ride my name is (Adam).... and if you didn't, my name is (Susan) and this has been Pirates of the Caribbean"

Don't remember actual names

 

[tamimouse]

"I'd like to point out some of my favorite plants...that one, that one and that one."

"That rock over there is marble, but some people take it for granite"

They never get old!

 

[d_lairson]

"Watch your head and watch your step. If you don't watch your head, watch your language, there are children here."

 

[Tinkerbell Teen]

"Please do not cross the center crates! It is a fire hazard! If you cross those, you will trip and fall, I will point and laugh, and I will get FIRED!"

"On your way out, please gather all of your personal belongings, including children. If you leave any children behind we will take them to lost and found and 24 hours after they become the company's property. We will superglue their feet to It's A Small World and we will teach them that silly song in 27 different languages. That's how I started here, I was a hula girl for three years. Just imagine, I was a hula girl when I was 13... it's an awkward age anyways." (I had to watch my jungle cruise video to be able to type all that out!)

Our tour guide for that cruise was HILARIOUS, I videotaped the whole ride and I just laugh hysterically whenever I watch it, he had the BEST voice, it was kinda nasal and so expressive, it made everything about 10 times funnier. And he talked SO FAST.

 

[Disneylvr1971]

"Please reach under your seats for the blue flotation cushions before the cruise begins".
(My mother actually tried this. They are wooden benches)
Our CM was Beth and I wish I could remember all of the jokes. She was hilarious. My DD would have done that ride all night with her. We now always refer to the Jungle Cruise as "Corney jokes with Beth".

 

[cheshireqt]

Feel that mist on your faces… Don’t worry that’s only the monkeys in the trees.

 

[Tazicket]

Our last skipper got our entire boat singing It's a Small World inside the temple. It was awesome!

 

[kaybird]

"We are now traveling under Schweitzer Falls. Named for that great humanitarian, Albert Falls."

 

[Pinocchio #1 Fan]

Look at those lions standing guard so no one disturbs that zebra's nap.

 

[BRERALEX]

"Let's take a vote:
Who wants to go in the cave?
Who doesn't want to go in the cave?
Well it's Florida we'll have to do a recount."

"Well, it looks like Britney has been here. She left her spears again."

 

[TaraPA]

"I love disco!"

(you might not know about this unless you've taken the KTTK tour!)

 

[umichigan10]

OMG this thread is amazing!!!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

OMG this thread is amazing!!!

Then we should keep it going, as the Michigan fan from Rhode Island has requested.

"That guy has been hogging the shower for the last 50 years....literally." (said within days of the 50th anniversary of Disneyland's opening)

 

[Pink Mouse Ears]

"On your way out, please gather all of your personal belongings, including children. If you leave any children behind we will take them to lost and found and 24 hours after they become the company's property. We will superglue their feet to It's A Small World and we will teach them that silly song in 27 different languages. That's how I started here, I was a hula girl for three years. Just imagine, I was a hula girl when I was 13... it's an awkward age anyways." (I had to watch my jungle cruise video to be able to type all that out!)

^^This was my favorite DH and I are going to use it when DSs are older to keep them close

"He'll get the point in the end."

 

[Jingle]

And as you exit the boat, please lower your head and watch your step. And if you forget to do that, please lower your voice and watch your language.

 

[wcpamotm]

At night:

"Look! It's an Indian Elephant! This is very lucky, they never come to the riverbanks after dark. You may never see another one and... oh look over there! Another one! Folks, this is a once in a lifetime thing, seeing two of those elephants by the riverbank after dark. I guarentee you won't see another one."

(turns light out)