Family Reunions

[luvflorida]

I'm thinking ahead to the summer of 2014, and mulling over the idea of holding a large, family reunion at the beach.

I'm sure there must be disboard members who have planned, or attended, large family reunions, and I'd love to hear your experiences...good and bad! Any tips, hints, ideas, thoughts?

It's been a long time since we've had my side of the family all together in one place. Some of us are on the west coast and the rest are in New England and the Mid-Atlantic states. "Home" to all of us, however, is the southern coast of Maine, so that is where I would like to have the reunion.

I already know of several large beachfront rental homes in the area of the beach where we all grew up. So, I've gotten as far as the location, but nothing else.

My next step will be to send a group email to family members, telling them of my idea and seeing what I get for responses. If everyone seems interested, then I'll go forward with the planning.

So....would love to hear about your experiences with family reunions!

 

[Jaya]

I'm still twitching from our last one. The shrink says I should be fine in 5-10 years.

 

[latmck]

I'm planning a big family reunion on my mom's side of the family, which is my grandfather side. We started in January 1st cause it will be in MS which is where the grandfather & his siblings (They can't travel too far). We formed a family committee which consits of four members. We have a conference calls every two wks but now since July is 3 months away we have it every wk. I have mailed invitation letters in January which includes the dates of the reunion, activities, & deadline to pay for the shirts & fees. In March, I mailed a 'save the date' which is a reminder to send in the family fees. I included a lil bit of family history. I have a cousin who has researched our family history who will present that at our 'legand ball'. We are having a legand ball which is a formal banquet to honor my grandfather along with his siblings (the oldest living one is 94). We are having it catered. We have a host hotel where we will have our meet n greet on July 4 to kick off our family reunion weekend. The legand ball will be on Friday night. Family picnic will be on Saturday with lots of foods, games, & other activities. Sunday, we will fellowship together at our family church. After service, we will have a farewell brunch. This will be our family first reunion in many yrs. We were tired of getting together at funerals so I decided to plan a family reunion instead. It's a lot of work but I'm glad that I'm planning it with my wonderful cousins and getting to know our family history. Happy Planning!!!

 

[Wendy31]

I'm still twitching from our last one. The shrink says I should be fine in 5-10 years.

This. Although, if the family reunion was at a beach, I might reconsider how I felt about family reunions. LOL!

 

[Ephany]

DH's family had a reunion last year and we didn't attend, mainly because of price. Without discussing lodging outside of the core group, they rented a house that was around 7-8K. In order to attend the reunion we would have to pay $500 per person just for the one bedroom our family would share. That's $1500 before any other cost and it was made quite clear that staying somewhere else was not an option. Also, the only meal at the house would be breakfast. For lunch and dinner we were expected to eat out at fairly pricey restaurants (of their choice) and all food and drink eaten at the house would be split evenly. This included the alcohol. As most of the DH's family are very heavy drinkers and we're not, that was the heck no point. And no, I'm not talking about a glass of wine occasionally, it's not uncommon for his uncles to drink a case of beer every day, individually.

There was just very little consideration of the later generations with younger kids. Everything was centered around adults aged 50+ who like to drink. I am all about planning, but when I'm shelling out many thousands of dollars, I want to it to be fun and inclusive. My BIL and SIL did go and from their stories, I'm very glad DH wasn't interested. My MIL is still angry at us, she refuses to understand that we're in a much different place financially and won't take out loans or put something like that on credit.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

I'm still twitching from our last one. The shrink says I should be fine in 5-10 years.

SAME HERE. Fist fights broke out quite a few times at our last one.

 

[minkydog]

I have planned several family reunions. I have 4 siblings who all live in different states and we rarely can all get together at the same time. Some can only come in summer, others can only come in the winter. We love to see each other. The others are not the planning types, but I am so I'm the one who always puts it together.

The first thing you have to determine is, do the others WANT to have a reunion? Next, is WHERE to have the reunion? I asked for suggestions the first time--wow, what a debate there was that time! One faction wanted to go north, the other faction wanted to go south. Now I just give them ONE option and that has worked out very well. If anyone complains, they get to plan the next one. So far, that has not happened.

Our reunions go 3 nights, 4 days, Thurs pm-Sun a.m. I always choose a place that has activities for all age groups and is handicapped accessible(we have a few with mobility issues.) We have been to Virginia, Yellowstone, Alabama, and the Outer Banks (NC). As much as I love WDW, it doesn't work for the rest of the family, so we avoid that.

We like to have coffee together in the mornings and then discuss our plans for the day. I leave the middle of the day open so families can go off on day trips if they want to. We eat our evening meal together, which is usually themed--we may have it catered or we'll all go out together. Then we have some kind of evening group activity.

This summer we're all going up to the north GA mountains to a lovely campground which also has cabins. Those who like to camp can do so. there is a pavilion we can use if it rains. Since we will all have cooking facilities, we'll probably cook most of our evening meals. Some activities I have suggested are visiting a museum in the area, tubing, a short hike to a historical site, swimming, horseback riding, playground activities, and a hayride. We'll have Mexican Night, Italian Night, and Potluck night. After dinner, we'll have a game night, an astronomy night(with telescopes), and campfire & music night.
I have gotten good responses to this reunion and we can't wait until June!

 

[Pooh67_68]

Um a family reunion at the beach would give to much of a temptation to drowned a few members, so not having one is much better.

 

[sasywtch]

We have a large family get together yearly so can't be much help that way but after reading the responses above mine, I have a few suggestions:

Don't be so structured. Give options.

Research motels/hotels in the area in different price ranges, camp sites, etc.
That way if someone would like to come but can't afford to spend$$$$, you have given them options without them feeling less than.

I like my family but 3 days of togetherness??? We all recently had a 90th birthday party for my aunt out of town. Some relatives cames 3 hours, some 12 hours. We had the big lunch all together, some went to the casino later, some drove home.

Maybe 2-3 days. Maybe a picnic lunch somewhere, bbq? When you start determining a restraunt, some may or may not afford or like the place and then trouble starts brewing.

We have a cousin who did our geneology and put it on discs for everyone. He brought the hard copy to others could browse through.

We have a cousin with a professional type camera. We took pictures of individual families, then just the first cousin blood (no spouses/kids), then a group. It was put on one of the sites where we could order if we wanted to.

I personally like functions where people have options of where to stay, which functions they want to participate in and not too long.

Just throwing out some ideas for you.

 

[minkydog]

Don't be so structured. Give options.

Research motels/hotels in the area in different price ranges, camp sites, etc.
That way if someone would like to come but can't afford to spend$$$$, you have given them options without them feeling less than.

I like my family but 3 days of togetherness??? We all recently had a 90th birthday party for my aunt out of town. Some relatives cames 3 hours, some 12 hours. We had the big lunch all together, some went to the casino later, some drove home.

Maybe 2-3 days. Maybe a picnic lunch somewhere, bbq? When you start determining a restraunt, some may or may not afford or like the place and then trouble starts brewing.

I personally like functions where people have options of where to stay, which functions they want to participate in and not too long.

.

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. I have a very good grasp on my siblings' preferences and their financial situations. I am careful to keep our costs down and chose restaurants(for the 1-2 meals that we eat out) which have variety and are reasonably priced for families. Since we DONT get together yearly or even every 2-3 years, it takes us 3-4 days to settle in and get in all the visiting. Of course, everyone is welcome to shorten their visit if they like. Nobody does, but they have that option. None of the activities are mandatory, only suggested (since none of them know the area). I chose a very nice campground this year (with their blessings) because it has a variety of lodging and lots of stuff to do on site and nearby. Plus, it's relatively cool up there in June.

As always, YMMV

 

[ManyMinnie]

I'm planning a big family reunion on my mom's side of the family, which is my grandfather side. We started in January 1st cause it will be in MS which is where the grandfather & his siblings (They can't travel too far). We formed a family committee which consits of four members. We have a conference calls every two wks but now since July is 3 months away we have it every wk. I have mailed invitation letters in January which includes the dates of the reunion, activities, & deadline to pay for the shirts & fees. In March, I mailed a 'save the date' which is a reminder to send in the family fees. I included a lil bit of family history. I have a cousin who has researched our family history who will present that at our 'legand ball'. We are having a legand ball which is a formal banquet to honor my grandfather along with his siblings (the oldest living one is 94). We are having it catered. We have a host hotel where we will have our meet n greet on July 4 to kick off our family reunion weekend. The legand ball will be on Friday night. Family picnic will be on Saturday with lots of foods, games, & other activities. Sunday, we will fellowship together at our family church. After service, we will have a farewell brunch. This will be our family first reunion in many yrs. We were tired of getting together at funerals so I decided to plan a family reunion instead. It's a lot of work but I'm glad that I'm planning it with my wonderful cousins and getting to know our family history. Happy Planning!!!

Just curious, but who is paying for all of that stuff? The catering, the picnic, the hotel, games, farewell brunch, etc?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

When we go to reunions notices are sent out with attendance, where to stay, deadlines for signups, etc.

In addition if there is a "picnic type" deal then more sign ups with food and other stuff to bring.

I would create a "community facebook thing" or something that many people can converge upon to discuss ideas.

Shoot you could even start a blog about it.

Everyone is responsible for paying their own way.

 

[latmck]

Just curious, but who is paying for all of that stuff? The catering, the picnic, the hotel, games, farewell brunch, etc?

Each family members are responsible for their family fees. For example, the cost for an adult is $65 including the Tshirt & youth is $35 excluding the infants. We are having the reunion in a small town in MS so the cater is a family friend. We recieved a special from Holiday Inn Express for $45 a night for 20 rooms. Some family members like myself are staying with family. We are a very big family about 100 people have RSVP. This is our first reunion in many many yrs so everybody is so excited.

 

[jdb in AZ]

DH's side of the family went on several cruises together. The only "mandatory" activity was dinner together. With so many ages/interests involved, it was simpler for everybuddy to do their own thing.

My side of the family -- we rented a large vacation home and it was like rats in a cage. After a day or two we were ready to kill each other. The next one (which we boycotted) everybuddy had the option to camp out or go to a motel. That was more peaceful. Different families were assigned to be in charge of a particular meal. One meal together per day, other meals on your own.

Last summer the reunion was a large breakfast at mom's, cooked outside on the grill, then do your own thing, then meet at a park for a family picnic where we could eat our fill of all the food we brought ourselves, mostly fast-food. The rellies from out-of-town didn't have access to a kitchen, so they couldn't help prepare the food, and it wasn't fair to the other rellies to do all the work.

Some smaller branches of the family tree can't get together for dinner without a fight breaking out, so those get-togethers are few and far between.

Family dynamics change over the years, as people grow up (and I use that term lightly) get married, divorce, pass away, get tired of the drama, etc.

 

[Abbie]

DH and I planned one about 10 years ago and it was such a blast! It was the first one ever. We chose a spot that was as equidistant as we could make it then scoped it out one weekend. Picked a hotel, got bulk rates, found a local park for the picnic, and figured out carry-out food. Since everyone was traveling in, no one brought food.

We set up a website with a history of the family, including a copy of the manifest from the ship that brought our grandparents to America, then invited everyone to post photos so we would recognize them! Most of the cousins we had not seen for many years. We figured cost (very inexpensive, worked out to about $12/person excluding hotel) and everyone mailed checks. We also reserved the hospitality room so we could have breakfast together in there and watch a family video we had made. We ended up spending a lot of time in there at night just chatting and singing!

DH and I put together a bag for each family with engraved glasses we made with the date, maps of the area, restaurants, candy, small photo frames of our grandparents, etc.

We decided instead of doing tshirts (which the older folks might not have been comfortable wearing) we just asked each branch of the family (there were 5 original siblings and then their extended families) to choose a color and wear some shade of that. Made for great pictures!! My one aunt, who is a nun, wore a striped shirt with all five colors, lol.

I'm sorry so many do not seem to enjoy their reunions...not something I would consider doing every year but we all had a blast!

Now we have lost one of the siblings and my mom is headed out fast so I'm really glad we were able to get everyone together one time.

 

[low-key]

we never had one , I really wouldn't even know my cousins if I passed them on the street

 

[luvflorida]

Well, I asked for the good and the bad, and you guys are coming through for me!

When we lived in Maine, our house was usually the one where big gatherings were held. We hosted family get-togethers (Memorial weekend, Easter, Labor Day weekend, Thanksgiving, Christmas) and many summer cook-outs. Everyone always contributed family favorite, signature dishes (it wasn't a party until my aunt arrived with her homemade fruit salad) and helped with set up and clean up.

Now that we're on the other side of the country, I find myself really missing the fun times we had. So I've been thinking of a family reunion.

I'm enjoying all the responses to this thread, the good AND the bad! A lot to think about!

 

[sasywtch]

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. I have a very good grasp on my siblings' preferences and their financial situations. I am careful to keep our costs down and chose restaurants(for the 1-2 meals that we eat out) which have variety and are reasonably priced for families. Since we DONT get together yearly or even every 2-3 years, it takes us 3-4 days to settle in and get in all the visiting. Of course, everyone is welcome to shorten their visit if they like. Nobody does, but they have that option. None of the activities are mandatory, only suggested (since none of them know the area). I chose a very nice campground this year (with their blessings) because it has a variety of lodging and lots of stuff to do on site and nearby. Plus, it's relatively cool up there in June.


As always, YMMV

Since there is some shouting or caps in there, your post appeared to take offense to my post. I was just throwing out some suggestions and not really paying attention to any one post so don't know where this came from.

I honestly don't care what any other family does, just offering my opinion only.

 

[PizzieDuster]

We have a annual family reunion at a large park, that has clean restrooms (for a park) and we have to rent the spot in advance. The spot is usually covered with lots of picnic tables. Every family brings chairs, pop up tents, etc. Always over 100 people.

~ There is always a theme which I absolutely HATE! And ignore. This year
it's 60's theme. Last year was "favorite sport team".

~ There will be a costume contest. All the kids do this. A lil parade to music.

~ Lots of games, egg toss, bingo, pinatas, bubble gum/whip cream game,
face painting (an aunt), kids decorate their bags for the candy.

~ They use to do a talent contest which lasted one year.

~ Everyone brings an appetizer or desert and their own meat to BBQ.

~ One time we had a taco man....we all preferred BBQ our own stuff.

~ We actually have an uncle who is the emcee. Who yells at me when it's my
time to do the bubble gum game. Drives me nuts. For the last 20 years,
I'm in charge of the bubble gum game and had an Uncle complain that one
time the gum I bought was stale. UGH. Oh, and I got an email requesting
that I be sure to keep the whip cream cold, in a cooler...cuz I'm stupid.


~ Auction. To fund this family reunion, the paper goods, the rental fee,
decorations, we have an auction. Some items are really good, sentimental
stuff from my grandma, hand made stuff, sport stuff....and then there are
the baskets that people make...I've brought home a basket of $1 hair stuff
and there's always the basket full of Aunt ____'s famous cookies!

~ AND, there is a silent auction of baskets. Every family is asked to bring something for the silent auction. I'm lazy. I bring Krispy Kremes. The kids bid it up...go all nuts.

~ And - the table where you bring clothing items so people can go through
them. I'm famous for that....I bring suitcases full of clothes I save all year.


I always tell my parents...there just so much gosh darn stuff going on, it's so hard to just sit and chat with my cousins..... just chill! They have meetings after meetings after meetings for this stupid day.

The only thing bad that has ever happened at one of our reunions was that one of the kids, doing the egg toss, looked up and lost the egg in the sun and it hit him in the forehead and everyone laughed. He's 26 and STILL talks about that. Oh, that and the cheating kids, who bring a hard boiled egg until we caught on.

Then I leave real quick before I have to clean up

 

[indimom]

I've been to successful family reunions.
The ones I've liked best were those with lots of options for activities and which were unstructured. Want to go horseback riding, get a horse and go. Want to swim, there's the pool. Hungry? There's the buffet line or at least some between meal options (veggies and dip, chips, etc.). There were a few scheduled activities like hay rides, but most were available throughout the day.

Most of ours were at family homes or farms so no location costs. But, we have had meals catered. The price was reasonable and it takes a huge load off the hosts when the meals/cleanup are taken care of.