Fall Baseball and I"m annoyed

[mjkacmom]

If it's Little League, he has to get his minimum play. But beyond that, there are no guarantees. Although re-reading your note, if you child is only 8, and pitching, it probably isn't Little League. Most little leagues use coaches or pitching machines at that age.

Wouldn't that be nice, but no, here in farm, it's kid pitch, usually the coaches' sons, and it can be PAINFUL. Having two boys, 5 years apart, you forget how horrible it is, until you're back watching enough boys walked in one inning, until they score 5, and then they put the other team on the field.

OP, lower your expectations. My oldest was always either catcher or first base, and in LL played most, if not all innings, but there were a few travel games where he only played 3 (ended up on a travel team with 3 catchers).

 

[luvsJack]

Maybe i will have DS speak with him and ask. Remember Fall ball is not about winning. It's learning time! There no stars in Fall ball. It's supposed to be fun. Not weekly have children disappointed!

I know how you feel. Its hard to see your child disappointed, especially when you don't know why.

We finally just stopped telling anyone when ds was supposed to pitch just in case something happened to change it and just invited them to come and watch him play. LOL, of course ds learned early that it worked better not to tell ME when he was supposed to pitch because it made me so nervous!

 

[luvmy3]

I let my dd quit over this exact thing, well it was really just the last game she didn't go to. Her coach promised her several times over several games that she would be put in as pitcher, and she never did, she always put her dd in instead. She had my dd play the bare minimum every game, while her own dd played the entire game every game. This also happened to 2 other girls on the team. I don't have a problem with it happening every once in awhile, but don't keep promising a kid something, practicing with them every week, and warming them up before the game and then not follow through because your own kid is whining that they want to pitch (or whatever position it is). I can tell you it was very hard at times to not go into the dugout and grab my dd and just leave.
I know how sports go, but I'm not going to keep my kids on a team where blatant favortism gets in the way of a person's ability to coach the "team" and not just their own child. And yes, I did tell her exactly why my dd would not be at the last game.

 

[mkstlowe]

If it's Little League, he has to get his minimum play. But beyond that, there are no guarantees. Although re-reading your note, if you child is only 8, and pitching, it probably isn't Little League. Most little leagues use coaches or pitching machines at that age.

He is playing in Little League. He was in clinic last year which is coach/machine pitch. We did make change last year where we started allowing kids to pitch 2 innings so they are ready for next level up. So my DS will be 9 in March. So he is moving up. So Fall ball is fun, practice ball.
I agree there is no guarantees. When you make a promise you should follow throug or atleast talk to the player after the game. Should not be me as the Mother or my husband making assumptions as to why he didn't keep his promise. As a coach you should do that. I Know they are volunteers. As i"m a big volunteer in my kids lives with Softball, baseball, school and church. I also know with working with kids. I don't promise anything I can't follow through on.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Yes he promised that he would pitch the 3rd and 4th inning. So this is why I"m annoyed. She made the decision to leave her son in 1 more inning. Then when 4th inning came she put another kid in first. Top it all off my son was playing first base and when her son was done pitching. Guess who got that postion???? My son was moved to 3rd base. Keep in mind SHE is not the coach she is the coach's girl friend/fiance. He didn't even stand up to her or tell her what he promised.

I realize everyone else is saying the opposite- but, I probably would say something. Not necessarily accusatory, nor would I mention the gf, but more like "Little Johnny thought he was pitching today, will he get a chance next game?" Then I'd hope the coach would explain himself at that point and why he made the promise (if he did) and didn't follow through.

Also, if your DH is the Asst. Coach, there's no reason he can't mention it.

My son has been playing travel ball since 8 (which is the age it becomes kid pitch around here, too) and it's not all about being fair and equitable and taking turns. If you're good at pitching, you pitch, if you stink, you're pulled pretty fast. No way would any of our coaches let 5 runs get walked in.

 

[sam_gordon]

Is it POSSIBLE the 'Coach' (male) planned to put your DS in but the girlfriend in the dug out didn't know about the plan?

I think you also need to MAKE sure the coach is PROMISING your DS as opposed to just saying "I'll have you pitch in the 3rd & 4th inning." (that's not a promise but an 8 year old may take it as one).

Since there's only one weekend left, after practice this week, pull the coach aside, have DS with you, and tell him that DS has been practicing pitching on his own and would really like to have the opportunity to pitch in a game. See what the coach says.

As far as the grandparents driving an hour... did they get to see their grandson play? Maybe the other boy had grandparents, aunts, uncles, whatever drive TWO hours to see HIM play.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My DS is doing fall ball, too. He is having a blast and playing well. It is a bit more relaxed than the regular season, but I don't think anyone would be playing if it were *only* for fun. A lot of time and effort goes into it on everyone's part - coaches and parents notwithstanding. I used almost a whole tank of gas this weekend traveling far out of state and then over an hour away both Sat and Sunday. Yesterday we were losing and had a phenomenal comback late in the game to win. The other coaches were NOT happy about it, to the point that one hothead was almost ejected. If it was just for fun, they wouldn't have cared.

Coaches like to win, at least some of the time. Winning reflects on them - and so does losing. To that degree, they need to make changes to the lineup in order to strategize and due to other unforseen events. Games are fluid, not static. Heck, my son was pulled to play an inning on the other team this weekend when they were short players (and he made a great play for them!). Should we have been upset? We weren't. He's just happy to play. Having played for his coach for several years and hearing what he has to deal with (and how there are many sides to every story), we've learned to have trust in his decision making and to go with the flow. If you're repeatedly upset with a coach's decisions re your son, then you might consider finding another coach, or even another team or league. But at some point, you'll probably find it's never always going to go in your son's favor. That's universal, IMO.

As to this situation, it's hard to know if the coach said something to the effect of "I'll try to put you in to pitch for a couple of innings" or whether he literally promised your son he could pitch as described in the OP. One thing I've learned from similar threads is that experiences are different for everyone. At any rate, I understand your disappointment as we've had them ourselves, especially in the younger years when we were just learning the ropes and didn't quite understand how it all worked. Because our son loved to play almost no matter what, the approach we've taken with him is to have him learn to go with the flow and to work as hard as he can, be a team player, and to do the best job he can at whatever position the coach puts him in, even if that's warming the bench (which involves paying attention to the game, not fooling around, helping out if needed, etc.). In his case I believe that some of the adversity he's faced has made him a better player. I got a note from a new coach this spring about him that touched my heart and made me realize that our efforts in this have not been in vain.

 

[ICF]

If it bothers your son, then he should ask the coach why he wasnt able to pitch last game.

This sounds like a really odd situation.....the gf (asst coach?) really shouldn't be making any moves the coach doesnt approve of and I would guess isn't since he has the ability to put whomever wherever on the field.

Without knowing more info, perhaps the game necessitated the change and he wanted to leave the original pitcher in due to game circumstances.

Parts complaining about playing time to a coach typically doesn't end well....especially for the kid involved.

 

[DizBelle]

This is one of those times that IMHO, if anyone is going to ask about it, it should be your son. At practice maybe

Older ds was a pitcher and he learned at a young age that the head coach may make changes in the pitching line up because of the other team. Now, maybe it was just our coach at the time but he knew how each pitcher pitched and watched what the other team was hitting the most. If they were hitting what a certain pitcher pitched the best then he wouldn't put that boy in to pitch. But he usually explained it to the player after the game (never to parents and never during the game). DS was 9 at that time.

If this is the case, why would the coach even say that the OP's son would pitch the 3rd and 4th innings?

 

[luvsJack]

If this is the case, why would the coach even say that the OP's son would pitch the 3rd and 4th innings?

Well, I don't know about her son's coach but ds's coach would sometimes change the pitching line-up after he watched the other team hit or the umpire calling the game. One pitcher had a better fastpitch, one had a better change-up, ds was good at pitching the corners of the plate so depending on how the umpire was calling and how the other team hit may make a difference.

Like I said, that was our experience but her coach may be totally different. He shouldn't make promises he doesn't intend to keep but it may have been a statement of "this is the plan" more than a promise and in sports sometimes plans change.

The gf shouldn't have made changes that the head coach didn't approve and the coach ds had would have thrown a FIT if that had happened. We never had the experience of an assistant coach or dug-out coach making any changes to what the head coach had planned, only he made changes.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Well, I don't know about her son's coach but ds's coach would sometimes change the pitching line-up after he watched the other team hit or the umpire calling the game. One pitcher had a better fastpitch, one had a better change-up, ds was good at pitching the corners of the plate so depending on how the umpire was calling and how the other team hit may make a difference.

Like I said, that was our experience but her coach may be totally different. He shouldn't make promises he doesn't intend to keep but it may have been a statement of "this is the plan" more than a promise and in sports sometimes plans change.

Older ds was a pitcher and he learned at a young age that the head coach may make changes in the pitching line up because of the other team. Now, maybe it was just our coach at the time but he knew how each pitcher pitched and watched what the other team was hitting the most. If they were hitting what a certain pitcher pitched the best then he wouldn't put that boy in to pitch. But he usually explained it to the player after the game (never to parents and never during the game).

Absolutely to all points. Like I said, things are fluid and coaches have to have the leeway to strategize.

My son's team played a team last year where the players were all enormous. I mean huge for their age, lol. It wasn't the pitching, but a hitting strategy - our coach alternated our tall kids with our shorter kids in the lineup which made it a little more difficult for the pitcher to pitch to them. This is how it goes.

 

[bunny]

Fall ball is supposed to be an instructional league but in reality that doesn't happen. The coaches want to win. Also after being involved with Little League for over 7 years I agree that it is usually the coach's son or the assistant coach's son that pitches.

My youngest son moved up to Mustang this year and he is one of the younger boys on his team. They have too many players so every game a couple of them sit on the bench. At the beginning of the season the coach "promised" that all the boys would take turns sitting on the bench. As far as I know none of the infield players or the coachs' boys have ever taken a turn. Last game one of the younger boys hit a ball against the back fence. It was the best hit of the game. The next two innings he sat the bench. It doesn't make sense.

Unfortunately in parent coached teams this seems to be the norm. The coach of the All Star team told me the reason he coaches is to groom his son into a great pitcher. That is why he has coached every year since his son started. He wanted to insure his son got the most playing time and the best instruction. He said he cares about the other kids developing but he is volunteering all his time because he wants to control his son's future. I was a little speechless but secretly applauded him for having the guts to admit what I have always suspected.

If you want your son to pitch, have your husband become the spring coach.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Bunny, I might have agreed with you a year ago but this year a friend's son went to a paid coach team (no son on the team) and ran into the same problems.

 

[tvguy]

Wouldn't that be nice, but no, here in farm, it's kid pitch, usually the coaches' sons, and it can be PAINFUL. Having two boys, 5 years apart, you forget how horrible it is, until you're back watching enough boys walked in one inning, until they score 5, and then they put the other team on the field.

OP, lower your expectations. My oldest was always either catcher or first base, and in LL played most, if not all innings, but there were a few travel games where he only played 3 (ended up on a travel team with 3 catchers).

Just wait until you hit High School Baseball. Every kid was an Allstar, yet there are about 11 of the 25 on the team who actually play.
My son was asked to play on a travel team, the estimated travel expense of $7,500 put me off though.