embarrassed to go see family

[MelindaKiah]

Well, I haven't lost any weight in the two years since I've seen my parents...maybe even gained a bit. I know they'll be disappointed in me. They don't say anything, but I always see it in their faces. I'm starting to do better, but it always makes me so self-conscious and feel guilty when I haven't lost weight.

Anyone else ever feel this way?

 

[Sammy]

I don't have any answers for you, but just wanted to send you **hugs**

Just keep your chin up and try to keep in mind that your *worth* as a person has nothing to do with the size of your body!

Sammy

 

[maryliz]

Ditto to what Sammy said You don't need to feel guilty, or apologize to anyone. This is a personal challenge for you and you alone. I do understand about the self-conscious aspect ... I used to hate going to stuff with DH's work people. Maybe I just feel better about myself because I've lost 1/2 the weight I want to, or maybe I've figured out that I'm still the same person, whether I weigh 200+ lbs or lower, but we've gone to a couple of functions this year and some guy friends of my DH have mentioned to him after the fact that I look great. Maybe I just needed the ego boost

your family will always love you. I don't think they'd be disappointed. I think the look you're seeing on their faces is what you are feeling about your own disappointment. Does that make sense? It's getting kinda late!

I'd take these feelings you're having and turn them into a positive spin. Make your guilt your starting point for doing 3 things in the coming week:

1) get out at least 3x next week for some type of exercise. A 30 minute stroll counts here !

2) when you go to reach for a snack, drink a big glass of water first. Wait 10 minutes. If you still want the snack, you probably ARE hungry and need to eat.

3) Take a small step towards portion control. If you go to put 2 big scoops of something on your plate, stop after 1 1/2 scoops instead.


Doing these 3 little things will actually make a huge difference over time, and you reap immediate benefits from doing so. Good luck my friend.

Mary-Liz

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

What everyone has said so far is so on the mark. Please try to not worry about what others think about you as much as what YOU think about you. You can control you, let the stuff you cannot control go for now. Remember healthy choices and keep taking those steps to being healthy for you.

Best wishes that you find your way to be successful at becoming a healthier you.

Keep on keepin' on. You can do it! You are worth it!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I feel this way post babies--only b/c my immediate family loves me--but the extended family has their opinions on what a woman should look like--and post baby--I fall iinto the NOT category. So I get worried until I'm at my goal weight...which is very very sad--so I can say I kind of understand how you feel.

It is easy to say don't be worried about it--but an entirely different feeling to Live that Mantra. I like Maryliz's suggestions about starting anew.

Additionally--if they enquire about your physique--share with them that you are trying to be the best YOU that YOU can be! The most successful diets are actually not diets at all--they are New Ways of Life--so if the topic comes up--don't mention the D word...just say that you are working on a New Way of Life--to be the best you that you can be (change to "me" of course!).

 

[JustMe28]

I know how you feel. You are not alone. *hugs*

 

[ZerasPride]

I can definitely relate to how you feel! I could have writtent his post myself. I thought I was imagining things that my family was disappointed in how I looked. Now I know they really were! How do I know? They tell me so all the time now. Saturday we were looking at pictures of old family gatherings and I saw one of me 1995. I gasped in shock at how huge I was. My sisters and I talked about it and I could see the pain in their eyes at what I looked like and I realized something: Yes, they were disappointed not HOW I looked but at HOW they knew I was hurting and feeling bad over how I looked.

Maybe your family is the same. The disappointment could be disappointment not at you but for you. We all know how weighed down we feel with extra pounds and our family feels those feelings for us in a way. Yes, weight loss is deeply personal but those close to us can see our limitations and how uncomfortable we can be in our own skin and they just want the best for us. I didn't realize how true this was until I had lost a significant amount of weight and different family members felt comfortable telling me how they truly felt. It helped a lot to know it wasn't me they were disappointed in.

I hope you have a wonderful time when you are with your family and that you can put the weight issues aside as best you can. And just think, this time next year when you see them again, you might look and feel like a whole different person!