Dumped by Clinic!! School Just Called - DS10 Suspended

[TottenKing]

Well, after DS' major meltdown yesterday, I decided that I didn't want to wait two weeks to see the psychiatrist, so I have been calling some of the mental health treatment centers in the area that have programs for children. I want him there for more than a half-hour session. I want them to have a chance to observe these behaviors and make a proper diagnosis and medication management.

So, I call my ex (DS' father) and ask him to check and see which facilities are covered by his insurance. He proceeds to act like if I was a better parent/disciplinarian this wouldn't be happening. He moved to Seattle, Washington a few years ago (we live in Oklahoma) and sees DS once or twice a year max. Now he has the nerve to criticize my parenting? He is not the one having to live this every day!!!

Horray for advocating for your child and pushing to get him the help he needs. Your ex sounds like a piece of work. There are words coming to my mind but they're not appropriate for a Disney-related forum.

I tell you, we just got SO lucky with the excellent psychiatrist and psychologist we have for DS. Without the behavior modification assistance of the psychologist and the psychiatrist finding that one medication that works, we would have certainly been in the same boat (facing inpatient treatment) by now.

Best of luck to you. Feel free to PM me if the need ever arises.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

 

[chris1gill]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

Good luck, maybe it's what he needs right now, and perhaps they can help in a meaningful, long lasting way... I have a DD who has been sick in the past, and there was nothing worse than watching her be so ill with no answers in sight... I hope you are able to get the answers that you both need....

 

[poohandwendy]

I'm so sorry I know how hard that must be for you.

 

[CEDmom]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you . I hope they're able to help your DS.

 

[horseshowmom]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

Best wishes, I hope they can give you the help that you're looking for.

I agree with the things you've said about having your child deal with consequences so that things are maybe better with him than they've been with your father.

DH's dad has been diagnosed as being bi-polar, and his wife (DH's mother) makes excuses for everything he does because of it. Interestingly enough, he only mistreats those members of the family who allow it (and he treats her like dirt). If you stand up to him, he changes his behavior. Sometimes he's annoyed that you won't let him walk all over you too, but he deals with it. There's no question that he needs his meds to function better, but the diagnosis doesn't absolve him of all responsibility.

Good luck for the future!

 

[littleteapot]

Praying that this will be a breakthrough experience for your child and your family!

 

[sha_lyn]

I mentioned your situation to my friend that I posted about earlier.
She said as sad as it was to see the kids there, that they were really benefiting from the inpatient program. She said that she really wished it was an option 25 yrs ago, when she was 11 and tried to commit suicide the first time.

 

[kdibattista]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

He is so incredibly lucky to have a mom who is being so proactive

 

[mickeyboat]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Know that you are doing the right thing for your child, and that you are the best mother he could have.

Denae

 

[got2travel]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

Haven't posted, but I've been watching this thread. Last month I was in the same place as you. Multiple suspensions and we were facing expulsion. My DS (12yr) was hospitalized last month. As scary as it is, I was actually at peace when this happened. He was finally getting 24 hour supervision from certified health professionals. People who could finally see first hand what I had been trying to explain.

Let me just warn you, the next few days will wear you down. Your DS will most likely push the limits of the staff. He will be scared and angry and will act out probably worse than he has at home or school. My DS actually had to be tranquilized. The staff all assured me that it was normal and they see it with every child.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I agree that the world would be better if people understood mental illness better and particularly if there were more science breakthroughs in mental illness. However, the rules shouldn't change for mentally ill people in many respects because boundaries and consequences are extremely important when dealing with them. They need the stability of rules and consequences to thrive, just like any one else, and in some respects even more so. Mental illness explains some of their behaviors but they are not helped by the rules changing. They are helped by managing their illness the best way possible, in the world we live in.You are absolutely right.

I agree with you 100%. However, I still agree with Jodi that PUNISHMENT is inappropriate. Rules, and consequences, yes...I'm all for 'em!

I think a LOT of people aren't completely sure what the difference is, and that leads to a lot of confusion on discipline threads.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

I don't feel like a good mom right now. I feel sick about this.

Thanks for the reassurance. I really need to hear it.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

It's okay, Biscuit. Inpatient diagnostic programs can be a real god-send. They can connect you with wrap-around services that will make your family's life MUCH better. You did the right thing.

 

[babytrees]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

Oh honey I bet this was the hardest and easiest choice for you.

I will be praying for your family for the next week.

I would love to pray for your son by name...though I believe God knows who I am talking about. Please feel free to PM me any time....I don't have knowledge of mental health problems in my family but I do have good strong ears and shoulders.

Continue to be strong and advocate for your son.

 

[sha_lyn]

I agree with you 100%. However, I still agree with Jodi that PUNISHMENT is inappropriate. Rules, and consequences, yes...I'm all for 'em!

I think a LOT of people aren't completely sure what the difference is, and that leads to a lot of confusion on discipline threads.

Well said

On a side note because of the talk about "cleaning toilets with a toothbrush"....... I wouldn't want my 10 yr old breathing in the fumes, or exposing skin to most cleaning products. Yes she cleans her own bathroom, but with vinegar, water and baking soda. If anything needs more attention than that I clean it.

 

[poohandwendy]

I don't feel like a good mom right now. I feel sick about this.

Thanks for the reassurance. I really need to hear it.

OMG, you ARE a good mom. Getting him the help he needs is exactly what a good mom does. (no different than getting the immunizations, even though you know they will hurt...or any other medical procedure or test. Sometimes we have to do things that hurt to get the healing) Hang in there, you are doing the right thing for him.

 

[disneymom3]

I'm checking DS into a child behavioral health center today for 5-7 days.

Oh honey, I am soooo sorry. Not at all because I think you are doing anything wrong, but instead because I know how hard it must feel to be doing the right thing. My heart is breaking for you. Please know though that there are a lot of strangers out here in cyberspace who support you and sympathise.

On a positive note--my dad's brother was bipolar. My dad bailed him out of jail many times, he lost job after job, borrowed money from my dad that dad knew he would never see again, hurt people practically beyond repair etc. HOwever, my dad never gave up on him. They reconciled not long before my dad passed away--he was sick for a few months and we knew it was coming. My mom had decided to let him know out of courtesy but not really expecting much from it. Well he came and visited my dad and they had a great long talk. He stayed with him for a few days. Then at my dad's funeral, my uncle asked to speak. We were all a little nervous but mom had him go do the first part of the eulogy. It was awesome and brought all of us to tears. After that, he stayed in touch with my mom for the next several years until he had a stroke and passed away himself. It took awhile, but his real self was able to shine through and we all could see why my dad had never given up hope.

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree with you 100%. However, I still agree with Jodi that PUNISHMENT is inappropriate. Rules, and consequences, yes...I'm all for 'em!

I think a LOT of people aren't completely sure what the difference is, and that leads to a lot of confusion on discipline threads.

Oh, I agree with you, that is why I suggested school work in the beginning of the thread. Not a day off, just routine responsibilities he would expected to do if he were at school.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

OP, you sound like a great mom doing the best anyone could do in a very hard situation. You made a very brave decision for your son.

I really hope for both of you that it results in positive change.