Dumped by Clinic!! School Just Called - DS10 Suspended

[sha_lyn]

Regardless of his disorder" is an oxymoron. His behaviors could be a product
OF his disorder. Do you tell someone with cancer to feel better and get over it? Just because his disorder is most likey mental does not give him ANY more control over it. Thus, his consequence should be something appropriate for him and him alone.

I do agree with you that some kids get away with things because their parents expect way too little of them and say, "Johnny has such and such", but I think we really have to be careful to not lump every child into this pile.

ITA.... I never said he should be rewarded for his behavior, but I believe following such suggestions as waking him up before dawn and forcing him to clean house all day will do nothing but harm/worsen the situation.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

I disagree. Regardless of his disorder, he needs to know the boundaries and limits of acceptable behavior. Getting the boy help and administering appropriate punishment are not mutually exclusive.

Too many kids today (NOT saying the OP's son is one) believe that their "diagnosis" excuses them from societal expectations of appropriate behavior, and too many parents concur.

While I understand that he has a mental disorder, he is not stupid. He needs to understand that he has to live in this world and the world isnt' going to change the rules for him. His behavior will have consequences. His illness will also be considered and treated.

He certainly won't be rewarded with a free day.

 

[canwegosoon]

Disorder or not...I would limit TV/Games to weekend only. He needs to find constructive positive things to do. Reading and Art come to mind. Perhaps he would also benefit from a Karate/martial arts type class.

 

[TottenKing]

Strattera is used for ADD/ADHD, and Risperdol is a multi-purpose medication prescribed for seizure control, schizophrenic psychosis, and bi-polar, and is far safer for a pediatric patient than other drugs including Lithium and Depakote.

We had to take my son off Depakote from about age 6 (when some new studies came out about using it in kids his age) until about 9 months ago when his doctor felt it was safe to use again. He takes that along with Concerta to get through the school days (for the ADHD that often accompanies BPD). We try to keep him off Concerta as much as possible on the weekends and holidays because it causes loss of appetite.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

We had to take my son off Depakote from about age 6 (when some new studies came out about using it in kids his age) until about 9 months ago when his doctor felt it was safe to use again. He takes that along with Concerta to get through the school days (for the ADHD that often accompanies BPD). We try to keep him off Concerta as much as possible on the weekends and holidays because it causes loss of appetite.

Has he taken Risperdal?

 

[TinkerbellMama]

If this is bipolar, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush is just completely inappropriate.

It's always sad how little people understand about disease of the mind.

I agree with Jodi. YES, he needs to understand boundaries and limits and they should be enforced with him as consistently as possible. A CONSEQUENCE is not the same thing as PUNISHMENT. I do not support punishing any mentally ill child for behavior which arises from that disorder, and never will. Natural consequences, or activities designed to impress upon him the seriousness of his offense are acceptable, but punishment is not. It seems he has not had a thorough differential diagnosis and he NEEDS to have that done ASAP so an IEP can be instituted and the appropriate response can be formulated and practiced by both the parents and the school staff.

 

[TottenKing]

Has he taken Risperdal?

Yes. The ones I can remember besides Depakote are Risperdal and Trileptal. There were others...maybe one or two. I don't think we ever tried Lithium.

We went through several no-go's during our hiatus from Depakote.

 

[ducklite]

We had to take my son off Depakote from about age 6 (when some new studies came out about using it in kids his age) until about 9 months ago when his doctor felt it was safe to use again. He takes that along with Concerta to get through the school days (for the ADHD that often accompanies BPD). We try to keep him off Concerta as much as possible on the weekends and holidays because it causes loss of appetite.

You might want to speak with your childs doctor about Topamax. I'm not sure if it's contra-indicated for use in kids, but most doctors seem to feel it's safer than Depakote--no liver function bloodwork needed.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Sadly, the meltdown continued after school at the Boys n Girls Club. Now he's suspended from there until next week.

 

[ducklite]

Sadly, the meltdown continued after school at the Boys n Girls Club. Now he's suspended from there until next week.

 

[TottenKing]

You might want to speak with your childs doctor about Topamax. I'm not sure if it's contra-indicated for use in kids, but most doctors seem to feel it's safer than Depakote--no liver function bloodwork needed.

Thanks for the heads up, Ducklite. We'll keep that in mind.

 

[TottenKing]

Sadly, the meltdown continued after school at the Boys n Girls Club. Now he's suspended from there until next week.

Ugh. I feel your pain. Days like that are just so, so hard.

 

[Malificient Tater]

so he is having a really bad emotional day. As I see some people saying it is the disorder causing it, even with the disorder he still needs to do something tomorrow. And you have said that he already does not like school. So you can not have this suspension as even remotely good thing. Because then what can happen is even when the emotions are handled he could act out so that he does not have to go and then blame it on the fact he is not in control.

So make him get up and do some kind of work while he is out.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Ugh. I feel your pain. Days like that are just so, so hard.

Yep.

 

[Notatourist]

I suggest the following as a punishment and stick with me here.

Have him look up words in a dictionary that are close to what he said. You're not condoning what he said, but, have him look up alternate words. These can help when he's getting emotional to not use the easy ones, but to use the hard ones. When he has to think about the words and the impact that they can cause, it could help him to calm down. Just an idea.

 

[MushyMushy]

If this is bipolar, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush is just completely inappropriate.

It's always sad how little people understand about disease of the mind.

A child with this disorder still needs consequences. They can't get a free ride, or they'll try to use their disorder as an excuse every time they do something wrong.

Cleaning house and doing homework won't kill a kid. Mine is still alive and kicking, and if he knows a day of work is what's waiting for him if he gets suspended, it might give him that extra second to pause and think about his actions.

 

[jodifla]

A child with this disorder still needs consequences. They can't get a free ride, or they'll try to use their disorder as an excuse every time they do something wrong.

Cleaning house and doing homework won't kill a kid. Mine is still alive and kicking, and if he knows a day of work is what's waiting for him if he gets suspended, it might give him that extra second to pause and think about his actions.

It won't kill a kid..but it's probably not remotely productive. Productive would be to try to get to the triggers and work with those.

 

[punkin]

A child with this disorder still needs consequences. They can't get a free ride, or they'll try to use their disorder as an excuse every time they do something wrong.

Cleaning house and doing homework won't kill a kid. Mine is still alive and kicking, and if he knows a day of work is what's waiting for him if he gets suspended, it might give him that extra second to pause and think about his actions.

True. Also cleaning house and cooking and taking care of things is what I do all day. If my child is home (and not sick) he'd better be helping me. It is not so much a punishment as a natural consequence of staying home from school.

 

[ducklite]

I did find info on Risperdal and bi-polar

Risperdal is prescribed for the short-term treatment of rapid-onset bipolar mania; it is not approved for preventing future episodes. The effectiveness of the drug for treating mania for more than 3 weeks has not been studied.
http://www.pdrhealth.com/drugs/rx/r...1382.html&contentName=Risperdal&contentId=506

I know several people with Bi-Polar disorder (including a close relative) who have been on Risperdol for many years, and it's been effective for them.

 

[MushyMushy]

True. Also cleaning house and cooking and taking care of things is what I do all day. If my child is home (and not sick) he'd better be helping me. It is not so much a punishment as a natural consequence of staying home from school.

Exactly. I don't care if the kid is bipolar, ADD, ODD, or completely normal, if they get a free pass at home to do what they want after a school suspension, then what does that teach them? Maybe that getting suspended is a good thing?