Drive Thru Window...at a Funeral Home!

[duh]

I saw this on the news yesterday, and I just had to laugh. A drive thru funeral! LOL!!

 

[Stitchfans]

This is the first I've heard of this. That is so so wrong!!!!

 

[NotUrsula]

This is the story from New Orleans: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/22/us/its-not-the-living-dead-just-a-funeral-with-flair.html?_r=0

Doesn't surprise me a whole lot; there has always been a (for want of a better word) exuberant funeral tradition in New Orleans, especially in the AA community.

There are several funeral homes here in St. Louis that will do "theme" parlors, but AFAIK, the deceased is still in the usual situation; it's just that the room is decorated to represent something that was a favorite pursuit, like fishing, or NASCAR races.

We did not have a traditional funeral for my MIL, but it wasn't our idea; that was the way she wanted it. There was a brief prayer service at the cemetery when her ashes were interred, but she insisted that she did NOT want any kind of viewing. She wanted people to remember her from photographs as she was when she was healthy; not as she had come to look after a long illness. For me, the odd part is that she didn't want a wake, either.

That's what a "celebration of life" is, really; a modern version of a traditional Irish wake. (New Orleans funerals are in the same spirit.) The idea is supposed to be that you are happy for the deceased because he or she has gone to heaven and is beyond earthly cares.

 

[TifffanyD]

So looking at a dead body laying down is ok but if it's sitting up it's weird.

And it's ok to look at it indoors but not through a window.

Just to make sure we clarify what is "normal" and what is not.

 

[hereyago]

So looking at a dead body laying down is ok but if it's sitting up it's weird.

And it's ok to look at it indoors but not through a window.

Just to make sure we clarify what is "normal" and what is not.

Myself personally do not attend viewings and funerals. The person who passed away knew how I felt about them when they were alive.

 

[LoserMomma]

Now, I'm a drive-thru kinda gal...my life is hectic and I'll take any convenience I can get....but this one is just plain wrong. It's disrespectful. You go to a viewing, not for the departed, but for the family and for yourself (to help you to let go). You say a prayer, light a candle and look at pictures from through the years in some cases. I've been to funerals for the young and the old and never, ever, in all of my days have I seen something this disrespectful.

I don't mine personalizing the viewing to some extent...for example, at my cousin's funeral last year we had Jimmy Buffett playing...it was his favorite (and he was in his early 40's when he died). At my grandfather's later that summer, we had big band playing softly (my grandfather passed at 96). I've seen people dressed in their Sunday best, their dress uniforms and their favorite casual outfit in the casket...all of which are perfectly acceptable to me....but the mourners darned well aught to take the time to dress in church clothing and pay their respects correctly, not wearing booty shorts and a middie top (seen that). You also should not get drunk or high at a viewing (I've seen both) because you'll end up acting like a damned fool and making the family feel worse. Save it for the wake.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

This makes me sad and I would hate to see my loved one viewed through a window like an old fashioned freak show at some carnival.

Open caskets are the norm in the midwest where I live.

 

[dbrn]

My first thought was that this is totally disrespectful, but then I read a quote from the funeral director:


"Phillips told the Saginaw News that a growing elderly clientele who can't leave their vehicles to make it into his funeral chapel led him to think of more creative ways to offer visitation for loved ones. He recalled one woman who left a nursing home to attend her husband's funeral but was too ill to actually come into the chapel.

"She would've got a chance to see him if we had this, so I knew we had to move forward," Phillips told the newspaper. "Considering the elderly generation that we service, so many people are afraid of funeral homes. So why not be able to do it from your car?"

http://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/drive-thru-funeral-home-viewing/2014/09/17/id/595215/

After reading what he had to say, I don't think it's disrespectful for him to offer the option (though I think it could be used by people in a disrespectful manner). I've known people who have had difficulties going to the funeral home or staying there for any length of time due to health issues, and for them an option like this might actually be beneficial. There may be elderly or disabled individuals for whom this would make saying a final goodbye possible. In fact, when an aunt of mine died, I wasn't able to go to the funeral home because of a medical issue that prevented me from ambulating and kept me pretty much couch-bound for a few weeks. I was able to get to the car with a great deal of difficulty, but navigating the funeral home we have in town would have been much too difficult. Truth be told, had this been an option, I probably would have taken advantage of it instead of skipping the viewing altogether, just to have a minute or two to see her one last time, say a little prayer, and say one last goodbye. There may be people, too, who are unable to go to the funeral home during the stated viewing times that would still like to stop and pay respects to their loved ones. I've had that situation, too - viewing hours were during my working hours, and I would have liked to stop and pay my respects, but I wasn't able to do so.

At least after reading the article, I think the funeral director offering the service is doing so with good intentions and not as some sort of disrespectful gimmick. It's not ideal, of course, but I can see that there could be situations where this is a nice alternative.

 

[ronandannette]

My first thought was that this is totally disrespectful, but then I read a quote from the funeral director:


"Phillips told the Saginaw News that a growing elderly clientele who can't leave their vehicles to make it into his funeral chapel led him to think of more creative ways to offer visitation for loved ones. He recalled one woman who left a nursing home to attend her husband's funeral but was too ill to actually come into the chapel.

"She would've got a chance to see him if we had this, so I knew we had to move forward," Phillips told the newspaper. "Considering the elderly generation that we service, so many people are afraid of funeral homes. So why not be able to do it from your car?"

http://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/drive-thru-funeral-home-viewing/2014/09/17/id/595215/

After reading what he had to say, I don't think it's disrespectful for him to offer the option (though I think it could be used by people in a disrespectful manner). I've known people who have had difficulties going to the funeral home or staying there for any length of time due to health issues, and for them an option like this might actually be beneficial. There may be elderly or disabled individuals for whom this would make saying a final goodbye possible. In fact, when an aunt of mine died, I wasn't able to go to the funeral home because of a medical issue that prevented me from ambulating and kept me pretty much couch-bound for a few weeks. I was able to get to the car with a great deal of difficulty, but navigating the funeral home we have in town would have been much too difficult. Truth be told, had this been an option, I probably would have taken advantage of it instead of skipping the viewing altogether, just to have a minute or two to see her one last time, say a little prayer, and say one last goodbye. There may be people, too, who are unable to go to the funeral home during the stated viewing times that would still like to stop and pay respects to their loved ones. I've had that situation, too - viewing hours were during my working hours, and I would have liked to stop and pay my respects, but I wasn't able to do so.

At least after reading the article, I think the funeral director offering the service is doing so with good intentions and not as some sort of disrespectful gimmick. It's not ideal, of course, but I can see that there could be situations where this is a nice alternative.

And I'm sure no family is forced to use this method if they don't want to. Again I say that anything that makes saying good bye a little easier for the family is fair-ball (legal and non-dangerous, of course).