Doing a disservice to your son? Dress him in pink?

[eclectics]

I feel like I need to come out of the closet here. (Well, first I will pull out my pink flame suit and put it on. )

My son is 4. His favorite color is pink. He plays with Barbies (and his favorite is my old Cher doll ). He has a pink doll stroller he loads up with a combo of stuffed animals, baby dolls, and action figures and takes with him when we go on walks in the neighborhood. His favorite Disney characters are the princesses. I bought him a Nala costume, not Simba, to wear for Halloween, as that is who he wanted. He has a girl's t-shirt from the Disney Store. At 4th of July when I got a hot pink Minnie patriotic t-shirt, he wanted one too. I was going to buy him one even though they were for girls, but they did not have one small enough for him.

Now, I wouldn't purposely steer him towards things that are more feminine, I perfectly well like having a son, but there is nothing wrong with him having the feminine things. He HAS been given a hard time by other kids in his Pre-K class for some of his tastes, but you know what, he already has a enough confidence to say "A boy or a girl can like that, and if it bothers you that is your problem." I've heard him do it. And I am very proud of him.

It sounds as if this woman may have problems with wanting to keep her child a baby. If it is totally her preference to dress the kid in pink, then that is a problem. But at age 2, my son clearly had desires in what he wanted to wear, and I would imagine this child would protest too if it bothered him. I let my son pick most of his clothing because he is picky about it. He has not yet picked something pink, but perhaps that is because there is nothing in the toddler boys department in that color. If he really wanted something pink, yes, I would buy it.

No flames here. Stifiling and trying to change or manipulate a childs natural likes and ways they have fun or play will only lead to therapist bills.

 

[shortbun]

When my son, now 10, was 3-he loved pink!!! His favorite colors were pink and black. He liked to dress up in dresses and high heels. He wore jewelry and crowns. Everyone in the family had pictures of him dressed like this. He played "princess" with the girls across the street. Today, he plays soccer, football, basketball and loves all things the OP would call "boy" things. I think the OP is WAY too worried about stereotyping for this child at nearly 3. And, believe me, pink has nothing to do with his ability to talk.
You, the OP, need more to do. Does this pink bouncy smilie bug you? LOL!

 

[Cantw8]

how do you know it was a nasty comment? It could have been nice. The mean word filter covered it up.

OK, Gepetto. I'll take your word for it. Besides, I love a happy ending. You may have your puppet back

 

[poohandwendy]

Something that just struck me after reading some of these posts, this would never have been an issue because at the age of 2,3,4ish I didn't give my kids options of what to wear. I made those decisions, so it really wasn;t an issue. I guess every now and again, I gave them 2 things to chose from, but I never had a problem with them wanting to wear something different than was in their closet.

I am sure they will work that out in therapy eventually.

 

[gepetto]

OK, Gepetto. I'll take your word for it. Besides, I love a happy ending. You may have your puppet back

that puppet will give me bad dreams at night. maybe you should sell him on ebay.

 

[dcgrumpy]

Actually, swimmies do not absorb anything. The urine just goes thru them.

Yes I know

 

[Nancy]

We're talking about a colored shirt here! Not frilly pink dresses or blue firetruck shirts. The OP stated the 3 year old kid was wearing a pink shirt, socks, etc. And I stated there wouldn't be a problem if a girl was wearing a blue shirt. Now we're talking about different shades of blue and designs that are acceptable or unacceptable?????!!!!! Come on! Unless the mom is planning on secretly trying to raise her son as a girl, wearing a generic pink shirt or socks for a kid that age should not be equated as the end of the world!

hey, I'm just staing how I feel on the matter...I think the Mom needs some serious help if she is dressing her son in pink shirts, socks, whatever. God, sometimes I wonder why I even post responses to stuff like this only to be jumped all over. And usually I don't...heaven forbid I should say anything. And to answer the question posted earlier...no I would never dress my son (if I had one) in pink GIRLS clothes, I also would never have dresses my girls in BOYS clothes. Toodles to you all, I'm going to bed.

 

[pfishgirl]

ok I can see maybe a pink shirt once in a while, he's only 3, no biggie.. However almost every day and also pink socks and Barbie diaper things.. I'd cut the line somewhere.. I never dressed my son in anything entirely pink, he had one cute shirt I like but it was pink, blue, yellow and white..

I'd be affraid as he goes to school, that the boys would be calling him a sissy and teasing him.. but again that is just my opinion..

 

[eclectics]

hey, I'm just staing how I feel on the matter...I think the Mom needs some serious help if she is dressing her son in pink shirts, socks, whatever. God, sometimes I wonder why I even post responses to stuff like this only to be jumped all over. And usually I don't...heaven forg=bid I should say anything. I'm done.

You were responding to one of my posts and I was answering you back. I do admit to usually having more restraint. If I went a bit ballistic, I apologize. I'm done also and will probably dream of pink elephants....

 

[Chim Chiminy]

I find this discussion very interesting.

I do know a girl who only wears her older brothers hand me downs. Her hair is cut short, and she is often mistaken as a boy, even by other kids. She was in my troop, but has decided not to continue as it was too girly.
She is a very sweet girl, kind and caring, a little reserved.
Her mother described her to me as being a bit of a tomboy before she joined our troop.
She doesn't play with any girls, just boys in her neighborhood. She is very much into baseball and soccer, has quite a throwing arm!

Now, the question--is this just her nature? Or is it nurture?

Myself, I kind of think her parents are right to let her feel and dress the way she wants. I don't think they should force her to wear frilly clothes and take cheerleading or whatever activities girls typically do.

 

[Nancy]

You were responding to one of my posts and I was answering you back. I do admit to usually having more restraint. If I went a bit ballistic, I apologize. I'm done also and will probably dream of pink elephants....

Apology accepted. Night all.

 

[the kabuki]

Have to say DS8 has never worn pink. I surely would not have dressed him in it when he was little. There's too many cute little boy clothes out there to be dressing him in his sister's hand me downs. So yes I think that's pretty weird too.

If he wants to wear it when he's older, no problems there. I know it's very "in" right now. But on a little boy, no, boys' should wear boy clothes.

 

[Cantw8]

bump so Drunken Lushes can find it

 

[Miller1412]

I LOVE that preppy pink is back in for guys. Polo has tons of it for adults and kids. So does Abercrombie & Fitch and J. Crew. I think it looks great and my DH and DS have some.

That being said, there's a BIG difference between the pink that's out for guys and the stuff that DD wears.

 

[Kallison]

My son is 13, all his friends are wearing hot pink - black sneakers with hot pink laces, shirts that say - real men wear pink. In fact his sister just cleaned out her closest and asked him if he wanted some pink stuff.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I find this discussion very interesting.

I do know a girl who only wears her older brothers hand me downs. Her hair is cut short, and she is often mistaken as a boy, even by other kids. She was in my troop, but has decided not to continue as it was too girly.
She is a very sweet girl, kind and caring, a little reserved.
Her mother described her to me as being a bit of a tomboy before she joined our troop.
She doesn't play with any girls, just boys in her neighborhood. She is very much into baseball and soccer, has quite a throwing arm!

Now, the question--is this just her nature? Or is it nurture?

Myself, I kind of think her parents are right to let her feel and dress the way she wants. I don't think they should force her to wear frilly clothes and take cheerleading or whatever activities girls typically do.

We know a girl who is a lot like this. She's 12 yo now and I feel for her. NOT because of what she wears, who she plays with, and what she does, but because it's tough being a preteen and being "different". She had a rough time last year when she started middle school and her parents had to put her on a different "team" at school (each class is divided into 2 teams, which determine a students classes and teachers). She started trying to dress more girlie. She has always been the sweetest, kindest girl. She used to be on my son's select baseball team. It is hard for kids to be different than the norm. When she's older, in high school, it might be easier for her since it's more acceptable to be a high school jock. Also, in high school it's more acceptable to have friends of the opposite sex. Middle school is an awkward time with kids entering puberty, figuring out their role, and wanting to fit in.

 

[snoopy]

I admit to dressing my youngest child in more gender-neutral clothes when he was a baby. My oldest I dressed "all boy", but I knew my youngest was my last baby so I went all out with the sweet baby clothes with duckies and puppies and such. Had to milk those years for all they were worth because neither of my boys would be caught dead in duckies or puppies now.

I think the situation as described is odd, yes. I think the mother maybe wanted another girl? To dress the child in his sister's hand me downs is very odd, to say the least, unless of course they did not have the money to buy new clothes which the OP says is not the case. The swimmies, no biggie as far as I can see, she might have extra for the older dd and didn't want to buy new ones when she had these extras.

 

[PaulaSue]

IMO, the Mom sounds like she really wanted another girl. Hope his speech gets better fast. IF they live in PA they have great programs for in home (EI) and over 3 (LIU) to help with a range of troubles. All my girls go for SP and one does for PT.

I know someone who treats her DS like a baby and calls him "the baby" all the time. He is the youngest of 4 (siblings 10,8 and 6) I can never figure out if she is talking about her DS or my youngest. Her DS is almost 4 and my Youngest is 2.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Yeah, well, I knew people would think that I was insinuating he would turn gay. Not at all. But in reality, you would also admit, if telling the whole truth, that you would not dress a 3 year old boy in pink almost every single day.

You just wouldn't.

Probably not almost every single day, but I would not hesitate to dress a boy in pink. I don't see what the big deal is. He's a toddler. I don't think he cares what color his shirts are.

I'd be more concerned with the mother being over protective, but honestly, I don't know if that would cause the boy not to be able to speak properly. Maybe he has some problems that the family would rather not discuss with their friends that are more medical in nature that are causing his delays in speech.

 

[Aidensmom]

What about dressing your favorite country singer in pink?