Doing a disservice to your son? Dress him in pink?

[Sorcerer Figment]

LOL, I never understood the big brouhaha about 'threats to a mans masculinity' and why it is such a bad thing? There is nothing wrong with a man (or boy) not wanting people to think he is feminine. In the same way I don't want to be seen as masculine. Woman and men ARE different. I don't understand why that fact is such a hot button.

The fact is that with clothing, women (and girls) tend to have a broader selection and can pull off 'masculine looking' clothing and be considered cute. Men can pull off chewing tobacco, scratching their butts, farting and belching and still be considered 'cute'...so what?

Actually, I don't see anyone protesting with someone using the "traditional" blue and pink system. All I see is when someone falls outside of this system, they face protests. Am I missing something?

 

[Cantw8]

why do you care? you just said you don't like children other than your own.

This is what you have to contribute to the discussion? Very thought provoking Thanks for the pearls of wisdom

 

[Beth76]

I'm with PD on this one. Yes, I think it's weird to dress a boy in pink everyday. And not just pink---GIRLS clothes. I'm sorry, but that's not OK. I could see if they were just romping around the house and she wanted to put him in something old. I let my little one wear stained clothes around the house, but not out in public. It's one thing if it was a boy's pink polo or a striped shirt with a bit of pink it. But, pink girls clothes on a boy? That's WEIRD!

And where are all these "in" pink boys shirts everyone is talking about? I have two boys and certainly haven't seen any pink. I even looked up 3 major online stores and didn't see any pink except for one pink polo that was one of 10 colors.

 

[eclectics]

LOL, I never understood the big brouhaha about 'threats to a mans masculinity' and why it is such a bad thing? There is nothing wrong with a man (or boy) not wanting people to think he is feminine. In the same way I don't want to be seen as masculine. Woman and men ARE different. I don't understand why that fact is such a hot button.

The fact is that with clothing, women (and girls) tend to have a broader selection and can pull off 'masculine looking' clothing and be considered cute. Men can pull off chewing tobacco, scratching their butts, farting and belching and still be considered 'cute'...so what?

Again (sigh), my main point is the kid just turned 3. I'll go out on a limb and say I don't think he cares he's not pumping iron yet and I'm VERY sure he doesn't care if you look cute in camouflage pants.

 

[poohandwendy]

Actually, I don't see anyone protesting with someone using the "traditional" blue and pink system. All I see is when someone falls outside of this system, they face protests. Am I missing something?

Actually, that post was directed at another post that seemed to be protesting (if you want to call it that) the idea that there are certain things that are considered feminine only. I was merely saying I don't see anything wrong with things being consiodered masculine or feminine.

I wouldn't care what another person wears on their son...I wouldn't do what the oP describes, but I really don't feel the need to tell others what they should or should not do. I just think it is weird (especially on a regular basis).

 

[Sorcerer Figment]

I'm with PD on this one. Yes, I think it's weird to dress a boy in pink everyday. And not just pink---GIRLS clothes. I'm sorry, but that's not OK. I could see if they were just romping around the house and she wanted to put him in something old. I let my little one wear stained clothes around the house, but not out in public. It's one thing if it was a boy's pink polo or a striped shirt with a bit of pink it. But, pink girls clothes on a boy? That's WEIRD!

And where are all these "in" pink boys shirts everyone is talking about? I have two boys and certainly haven't seen any pink. I even looked up 3 major online stores and didn't see any pink except for one pink polo that was one of 10 colors.

Just to make (what I, and probably you, hope is) my final post on the subject... I was a bit confused by the fixation on pink but, I agree that the mother makes odd choices and this could harm her son.

And all of you who have posted here, whether or not you agree with anyone else, sound like good, concerned, people. Thanks for caring and DIS on!

 

[poohandwendy]

Again (sigh), my main point is the kid just turned 3. I'll go out on a limb and say I don't think he cares he's not pumping iron yet and I'm VERY sure he doesn't care if you look cute in camouflage pants.

I never made the argument that the boy would be affected by it in any way. I think the mother is weird for doing it on a regular basis. That's all.

 

[poohandwendy]

Hey noone answered my question (pout)...for those who think it isn't a big deal...did you or would you dress your 3 yo son in girls pink clothing in a regular basis?

 

[gepetto]

Thanks for the pearls of wisdom

maybe you should lay off the beer. it's making you kinda *****y.

 

[MamaLema]

Flame, flame away

I have 3 boys and never have, and never will dress them in pink

 

[flminivanmama]

Hey noone answered my question (pout)...for those who think it isn't a big deal...did you or would you dress your 3 yo son in girls pink clothing in a regular basis?

i probably would... like I said ds who is 4 (just 4 not 5 TYVM) wants to wear orange almost every day & I try to accomodate... if he was obsessed with pink instead ...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My thoughts...

My oldest is a girl and I then had a boy (and then 2 more boys). My son wore some of my DD's hand me downs (ie, onsies, pj's, clothes that were somewhat neutral). Once we had a boy we tried to buy some things for our DD that were more neutral, but her favorite colors were pink and purple, and we normally bought clothes, etc for our DD and rebought for our DS. I remember buying our DD a nice Lands End jacket that was neutral (green, I think). Our DD liked it and wore it, but the funny thing is that my boys hated that jacket.

For awhile my youngest, now 5yo, loved pink and purple. He didn't wear clothes in those colors, but insisted that "boys can also like pink and purple". I respected his views and didn't have a problem with it. When he was in that stage if he had of wanted to wear pink floaties I would have been fine with it. But it's one thing for the child to want pink floaties and a different thing if the mother is insisting on the pink floaties.

One big irritation of mine is how the clothing industry has us over a barrel with all these girl/boy clothes. Often they make a gender neutral shirt, but then put lace on it. It would be a cute shirt that could be worn by either a girl or boy, but they put the lace on it to make it girly. Some companies are better than others at making cute neutral clothes (Lands End comes to mind), but many do all they can to make clothes very specifically for girls or boys.

Personally, if I were buying swim diapers if I only wanted to buy one type I would buy the blue ones. It's generally more accepted for a girl to wear boy clothes than it is for a boy to wear girl clothes. Also, there is a difference between boy clothes in pastel colors than girl clothes. Yes, pink is again in for boys/men, but I don't think that is what the OP is referring to. Sounds like the mother is doing all she can to make sure that her son wears girls clothing. No, it won't make him gay (and I have no issue if he turns out to be gay, but that wouldn't be the cause), but he will eventually be teased by others. We can't avoid all the teasing that can and will be thrown at our kids, but why ask for our child to be a target?



T&B

 

[Tigger&Belle]

!

And where are all these "in" pink boys shirts everyone is talking about? I have two boys and certainly haven't seen any pink. I even looked up 3 major online stores and didn't see any pink except for one pink polo that was one of 10 colors.

They are not at Kohls, where I usually shop. But one day we walked through Lord and Taylor and I was very surprised at the colors for boys and men. I asked my almost 12 yo son if he'd like one of those shirts and he just about choked. LOL

 

[Cantw8]

maybe you should lay off the beer. it's making you kinda *****y.

Ok, Gepetto... see who I have here? Take back the nasty comment or the puppet gets it.

 

[Sorcerer Figment]

Ok, Gepetto... see who I have here? Take back the nasty comment or the puppet gets it.

 

[eclectics]

Hey noone answered my question (pout)...for those who think it isn't a big deal...did you or would you dress your 3 yo son in girls pink clothing in a regular basis?

I personally wouldn't even dress a little girl in it because I think it's the most hideous godawful color on the planet. But to answer the real question in your question, if my kid is under the age of realizing he is wearing something frowned upon and we as parents had a valid reason (valid in our minds, not necessarily yours) for dressing him in pink and we had no sinister or damaging agenda to twist his little mind, yes, I would. The reasons could be many. He might love the color and be most comfortable in it. We might have to buy girl's generic tee shirts for him or give him his sisters rejects so he can wear the color he likes (remember he only just turned 3). We could be so dirt poor that hand me downs are a neccessity (yes, I know, not in the OP's case). And if I threw a new red shirt in the wash by accident with all his expensive little "whiteys" you bet he will be wearing pink! I would let him wear pink if he chooses until the negative feedback he most certainly will get starts to have an adverse effect on him. He then will only be allowed to wear brown until he reaches college when it is apparently ok again to wear a pink shirt. But he can't wear it when he comes home for thanksgiving because, as I said, I hate pink!!!!!

 

[Alicnwondrln]

Ok, Gepetto... see who I have here? Take back the nasty comment or the puppet gets it.

DO IT DO IT !!!!

 

[Aidensmom]

I feel like I need to come out of the closet here. (Well, first I will pull out my pink flame suit and put it on. )

My son is 4. His favorite color is pink. He plays with Barbies (and his favorite is my old Cher doll ). He has a pink doll stroller he loads up with a combo of stuffed animals, baby dolls, and action figures and takes with him when we go on walks in the neighborhood. His favorite Disney characters are the princesses. I bought him a Nala costume, not Simba, to wear for Halloween, as that is who he wanted. He has a girl's t-shirt from the Disney Store. At 4th of July when I got a hot pink Minnie patriotic t-shirt, he wanted one too. I was going to buy him one even though they were for girls, but they did not have one small enough for him.

Now, I wouldn't purposely steer him towards things that are more feminine, I perfectly well like having a son, but there is nothing wrong with him having the feminine things. He HAS been given a hard time by other kids in his Pre-K class for some of his tastes, but you know what, he already has a enough confidence to say "A boy or a girl can like that, and if it bothers you that is your problem." I've heard him do it. And I am very proud of him.

It sounds as if this woman may have problems with wanting to keep her child a baby. If it is totally her preference to dress the kid in pink, then that is a problem. But at age 2, my son clearly had desires in what he wanted to wear, and I would imagine this child would protest too if it bothered him. I let my son pick most of his clothing because he is picky about it. He has not yet picked something pink, but perhaps that is because there is nothing in the toddler boys department in that color. If he really wanted something pink, yes, I would buy it.

 

[Kermit]

I consider myself a pretty frugal person who would share clothes between siblings as much as possible, but I wouldn't put pink girl's clothes on a boy on a regular basis. If he wanted to wear pink, I'd think about it, and I'd definitely let him wear them around the house (if we already had them), but I don't know if I'd even let them wear them out. Because I do plan to use hand-me-downs as much as possible, I buy clothes that appear to be unisex as much as possible.

I don't think I'd buy new equipment for my child until he started verbalizing that he was uncomfortable using "girl" things.

I don't think that wearing pink will harm a boy, but I want people to be able to tell what sex my child is, and I'm teaching my children to follow societal norms except for in situations where they have a moral issue with the norm.

 

[gepetto]

Ok, Gepetto... see who I have here? Take back the nasty comment or the puppet gets it.

how do you know it was a nasty comment? It could have been nice. The mean word filter covered it up.