Does your child go to college but live at home?

[jodifla]

Do you people not get sarcasm at all???? I haven’t been socking away tons of money a year into college funds just to tell my kids “ nope if you don’t go to an SEC school” you’re on your own. Of course I will encourage them to go to one and we have started planting the seed by taking them to the schools we went to for games but if they decide to go somewhere else I am sure their dad and I will survive except if it is a school like OU or Texas then we might just flat out die.
Just in case some of you don’t get it my last few words were a joke!

Not Texas! I'd be flat out dead with you (also a joke )!!

 

[luvsJack]

I find it really hard to believe it's the same. Even my friends who live in our old college town send their kids to campus to live.

Again, I'm sure it's a good choice for some kids.

I actually never lived in a dorm...I had an apartment I shared right off campus. Cost worked out better as we could skip the meal plan....I was one of the few freshman who actually lost 20 pounds my first year of college!

Well, they don't have to worry about food but other than that they pretty much do anything and everything the students on campus do. All the campus experiences are had.

 

[Aisling]

My husband lived at home with his parents while he went to MEDICAL SCHOOL.

And he grew up just fine.

And he was probably able to save a ton of money that way. Smart!

 

[wtccheermom]

Not Texas! I'd be flat out dead with you (also a joke )!!

Ok so maybe I wasn't joking about Texas if my kids start wearing brunt orange with a uterus on it I really might kill myself !

 

[MIGrandma]

I'd really like an answer to my question, SaraJayne.

Some kids can't afford college and dorm. So, should a kid give up college because they can't afford both tuition and a dorm?

I asked her how old her children were, and she hasn't answered my question either.

She seems so adamant about what she will do when her kids are college age, but if they're as young as I think they might be then she could very well change her mind as they get older, and as SHE gets older as well. I've learned to never say never, because what you feel NOW may not be what you feel in 5-10 years, or heck...even next year.

And there is no "right way" or "wrong way" to attend college. Every person is different. Every family is different.

 

[Swan4Me]

And there is no "right way" or "wrong way" to attend college. Every person is different. Every family is different.

 

[debbi801]

So since you are such a perfect parent perhaps you should write a book on how to raise that special snowflake. SO what I want my kid to go to an SEC school and I want it to be the right one. you should probably call social services on me because I am not allowing my snowflake to express him or herself freely especially if that means them going to LSU . Now I am not surprised that I am one of the few posters here without a near perfect genius snowflake. I guess that is because I did not push them around in a stroller until they were 10 , I did not allow them to be picky eaters and I pretty much always take the side of the dreadful public school teachers. Oh and by the way I never said I would not shed tears or force my child to move out but I will encourage them to attend college away from home because I do not want to put my selfish needs of keeping the close to me in front of them getting a great education while having a great social experience. I do not appreciate you referring to me as a deadbeat parent because I do not want to breastfeed my snowies until they are 30.

Can I ask a question? What would happen if your child expressed an interest in going to a non-SEC school? Would you refuse to help your child? Suppose the non-SEC school offered a full (or close to full) scholarship? What happens then?

I can't wrap my head around insisting my kids go to a specific college. I want them to pick the colleges that are right for them.

Never mind, I should have read all the way to the end.

 

[rackofelk]

I'd really like an answer to my question, SaraJayne.

Some kids can't afford college and dorm. So, should a kid give up college because they can't afford both tuition and a dorm?

You didn't get answer because I don't think that's the point of her post. I think it was more to prove some level of superiority.

First it was only living in a dorm is the way to experience college, then it was about not coddling your children but indulging them with a post high school support system.

I'd like to hear the answer too. What about the child who doesn't like school and doesn't want to go to college? Last I checked, there are no dorms at a trade school. Is a trade not good enough?

Is it better for your child to be stuck in a low paying job their entire life because it paid the rent at 18?

 

[Pamlur]

My DD just started college an hr &1/2 away from home and is having an extremely difficult time adjusting.I am to the point where I am considering letting her come home on weekends while staying on campus during the week. I don't want her to be totally miserable, because it will certainly affect her studies, besides depress her and I don't think it's worth it. She hates the partying scene and of course most of the students on her dorm floor are partying all weekend long. Anyone else done this?

Let her come home for the weekends! Hopefully she will decide, down the road, to try staying at school for the weekend. But don't force her to. I speak from both my own experience, and my daughter's.

 

[DeaverTex]

Ok so maybe I wasn't joking about Texas if my kids start wearing brunt orange with a uterus on it I really might kill myself !

OMG, so I'm NOT the only person who's noticed that!

(Baylor fan here! Sic 'em!)

 

[Pigeon]

While I do think that there are some useful experiences to be gained from going away, football and tailgating are things you couldn't pay me to do. I'd rather watch paint dry and so would my kids. I'd rather they picked their colleges based on academics and cultural activities. I went to a large state university and had a blast. Never went to a sporting event or a fraternity or sorority activity in four years though. I also got an amazing education.

We live near an excellent, large state university and the room and board is much higher than the tuition, over $10K/year. That buys you a tiny double and mediocre dorm food. I'm not against going away to school, but as college costs have soared, it's a cost that increasingly people just cannot afford. At least not without going into debt, and I'm just not seeing that it's worth starting out $40K in debt. If you've got the money and can afford it, and find it to be a good value more power to you.

It also strikes me as silly to think that going away to college is the only way kids could possibly mature into responsible adults. I work at a university and deal with students daily. Some are commuters and some are resident. I've never noticed any difference in maturity levels between the two.

 

[Buckalew11]

So since you are such a perfect parent perhaps you should write a book on how to raise that special snowflake. SO what I want my kid to go to an SEC school and I want it to be the right one. you should probably call social services on me because I am not allowing my snowflake to express him or herself freely especially if that means them going to LSU . Now I am not surprised that I am one of the few posters here without a near perfect genius snowflake. I guess that is because I did not push them around in a stroller until they were 10 , I did not allow them to be picky eaters and I pretty much always take the side of the dreadful public school teachers. Oh and by the way I never said I would not shed tears or force my child to move out but I will encourage them to attend college away from home because I do not want to put my selfish needs of keeping the close to me in front of them getting a great education while having a great social experience. I do not appreciate you referring to me as a deadbeat parent because I do not want to breastfeed my snowies until they are 30.

My whole post was not even to you except for the SEC thing. That was it. I did not see that you were cutting your kids off at 18. Maybe I will go back and reread your post--THAT part was directed towards SJ's post.

I wasn't aware that imperfect snowflakes could only go to SEC schools?? Let me tell you, tons of kids from here go to UT Knoxville. Brilliant and less than brilliant...they're all allowed in.

I never mentioned breastfeeding I certainly didn't compare you to a deadbeat parent (even for the SEC thing). I said I can't see how my BIL just shuts out his kids at 18 and SJ sounded like that was her cut off also--I said I thought that was reserved for deadbeat dads (or moms, actually) but it seems that some parents just cut their kids off at 18. I do not think wanting our kid to go to a certain school or an SEC school makes you anything like a deadbeat parent.

As far as no strollers, no breastfeeding, no picky eaters...we're much the same. And I think my book will be out in October.

 

[Planogirl]

What's wrong with Texas or OU?

Wow, some of the opinions here are interesting... I want DS to get a good education at the university of his choice. Within reason. I don't worry about whether he lives at home or elsewhere because it's all about the education and him feeling comfortable while he studies. Sorry if that makes him a snowflake somehow.

 

[chexie]

I'm a junior in college and just got from completing Disney College Program and I still live at home. I consider myself extremely lucky to have my parents support with helping with me at school, plus allowing me to stay with them.

 

[castmember19]

I commute 20-30 minutes every day and still live with my parents.

I wanted to go away to school at first but didn't get accepted into my first choice college. After that, dad didn't want to send me to my second choice college (he said it was too expensive, which i'm sure played into it, but I think he was really just afraid of me moving so far away... as opposed to first choice college which was an hour away) and encouraged me to apply to a university in the same city (I was infuriated at the time but did it anyway- I felt he did get some say in the matter since I only got a small scholarship and he pays my tuition out of pocket).

Anyway, long story short I ended up here, living at home and at school. I so desperately wanted to get away for the independence, but the truth is I ended up with what I wanted anyway. I have gained independence, maybe not as much as I would have had I gone away, but still enough that I am happy.

The truth is I ended up being totally in love with my university and I would not have it any other way. I love still having my own room, no roommates, home cooked meals, knowing where everything is in town, having my car, my family close, etc.

 

[wtccheermom]

What's wrong with Texas or OU?

Wow, some of the opinions here are interesting... I want DS to get a good education at the university of his choice. Within reason. I don't worry about whether he lives at home or elsewhere because it's all about the education and him feeling comfortable while he studies. Sorry if that makes him a snowflake somehow.

Nothing unless you want your children to go to school that chokes at the Championship against an SEC team!! I was joking!!! Apparently you and some others are not aware of the rivalries that go on between schools and conferences in college football.

 

[Mrs Jingles]

My whole post was not even to you except for the SEC thing. That was it. I did not see that you were cutting your kids off at 18. Maybe I will go back and reread your post--THAT part was directed towards SJ's post.

I wasn't aware that imperfect snowflakes could only go to SEC schools?? Let me tell you, tons of kids from here go to UT Knoxville. Brilliant and less than brilliant...they're all allowed in.

I never mentioned breastfeeding I certainly didn't compare you to a deadbeat parent (even for the SEC thing). I said I can't see how my BIL just shuts out his kids at 18 and SJ sounded like that was her cut off also--I said I thought that was reserved for deadbeat dads (or moms, actually) but it seems that some parents just cut their kids off at 18. I do not think wanting our kid to go to a certain school or an SEC school makes you anything like a deadbeat parent.

As far as no strollers, no breastfeeding, no picky eaters...we're much the same. And I think my book will be out in October.

I'm getting the impression that reading comprehension isn't something they push too much at those amazing SEC schools

 

[HeatherC]

I commuted for four years and worked as well. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

Now I have three kids and the oldest just started high school. If they all want to go away, I am fine with that too.

BUT....I am not fine with sending them off to "experience" college life and then have them come out deep in debt and have trouble finding a job that pays them enough to live comfortably and still pay off the debt.

I think it is a lot harder today to get a good financial leg up than when I graduated. Unfortunately, many kids are graduating and still making the same amount a lot of parents did 20 years ago at their first job. Problem there is that the parents had $10,000 or whatever in loans to pay off and now these kids have upwards of five to ten times that amount of debt. Just not the way I want my kids starting out their adult lives.

Much rather have them graduate with little to no debt and then go experience whatever they want the rest of their lives.

Should be interestng...

 

[ilovemk76]

I'm getting the impression that reading comprehension isn't something they push too much at those amazing SEC schools

Who needs to read when they have football.

 

[luvsJack]

Here's a novel idea, how about we allow our children to decide where they go to college, whether they live in the dorm or not, etc?????

If DD stays on the same path she is planning now, she will go to MSU. Why? Its in-state (out of state fees are ridiculous!) and its the only one instate with a veterinary program--she knows these things at 13 and knows this is where she wants to go to school, I told her it was her choice. She will have to stay in the dorm because its too far to commute and we don't know anyone that lives there. If we find an apartment that is cheaper than lving in the dorm, I will give her that option but if she isn't comfortable with it she can stay on campus. She is already thinking that she will get as many of her basics as possible from either the comm. college or USM (local), comm. college she will live at home, USM she will have another choice of dorm or home.

See, easy. I really do not understand all this confusion. It should be up to them and what they feel is right for them. (of course with the cost and money available taken into consideration)