Does giving holiday gifts stress anyone else out?!

[design_mom]

I generally like gift-giving. The part that stresses me out is that we have a ton of family members who have birthdays between December 22-January 15 (niece = 12/22; MIL= 12/27, BIL = 12/29; FIL = 1/7; niece 1/15)

I like to think of good ideas and I think I do a decent job at it. However, it's hard to come up with TWO good ideas in quick succession. (Ask me next June and I could probably come up with another decent idea.) I know nobody has control over when their birthday is, but it sure would be nice if they were a little farther from Christmas!

 

[aprilchem]

It does, but only for the ILs. They never like ANYTHING we give them, no matter what it is.

 

[RedAngie]

We cut down gift giving to immediate family members many years ago. It was probably a big relief to ALL the extended family.

So just DH and two DDs. DH and I usually give each other something for the house. Last year he gave me a Keurig coffee maker and I got him a new lawn blower/vac. Or an upcoming trip somewhere will be the "gift." I don't want or need any more jewelry, fragrances, bath & body lotions, etc.

DDs give us wish lists, so we choose from there. DH and I really don't want gifts from DDs, so they get us useful and practical stuff, like a supermarket gift card, or socks, or a crazy novelty T-shirt.

 

[RedAngie]

I wish we'd end the whole gift-giving thing for the adults. My husband's family is very much into gift-giving and three of them have December birthdays! That makes it extra difficult. And don't even THINK about wrapping that 12/26 b-day gift in Christmas wrap! It would be one thing if we were talking about a child, but this is for a 52yr old!
With my family, we tend to do "the great gift card exchange." It's dumb. Now that my brother and SIL have a baby, I'm hoping next year we can just concentrate on the kids. It's my sister that we'll have to persuade.

I'd probably be a little put off too if my December 26 BD gift was wrapped in Christmas wrap. At least it's nowhere near as bad as a combined Xmas/BD gift.

 

[Luv2Run]

No, I'm an excellent little Christmas elf! LOL

Seriously though, I much prefer gift-giving to gift-receiving. I'm terrible at receiving gifts, and often wish I could just skip that part of Christmas.

That being said, when it comes to gift-giving, I'm much more comfortable getting gifts for those I know well. I tend to categorize them (traveler, reader, musician, athlete, artist), and then customize their gift to suit them. For instance, FBIL's girl friend travels a lot for work, so I got her a memory foam hoodie neck pillow and a book to read on train, and my other FBIL's fiancee I got an ear warmer with a vintage crystal brooch from Germany attached to it (so it was kind of a generic gift, but I customized it with a piece in her favorite color). I like customizing things with little personal touches like that. It's the people that I don't know very well that I have the hardest time shopping for. But, I still wind up finding something special beyond just a gift card or useless trinket they'll never use.

ETA: I try to follow people on Pinterest for this very reason, so I can get a feel for their likes/style. It's a very valuable tool when it comes to gift-giving, especially if you like to shop online like I do.

 

[Disney Dynamite]

It does, but only for the ILs. They never like ANYTHING we give them, no matter what it is.

You just described my MIL! Once I finally realized she either doesn't appreciate and/or hates every gift we give her, I stopped stressing over it because I know there's no pleasing her. My husband explained that it was mostly because the gifts we were giving her had a higher price tag than the ones she was giving us, and she prefers to be the one to give the "better" gift. Because that's what gift giving is all about - winning. (I'll never understand her insane reasoning skills.) As a result, I just started making donations to charities in her name. She hates those too, but at least I feel better knowing that someone will benefit from our gift.

 

[OhMari]

It does, but only for the ILs. They never like ANYTHING we give them, no matter what it is.

I hear ha. Every year our inlaws has given us cash 150 each. I told my dh, to take it out of the card and give the money back. They are thrilled when they receive money-I Am not kidding. My dh has one sister and she has one daughter. So our neice gets $400 each year and my 4 kids always got $100 each. We were told this is how the inheritance is going to be divided up too between the grandkids. My inlaws told my dh he shouldn't have had so many kids. Buying Christmas presents for them, has been major, major stress over the last 35 years. I put my foot down years ago, and I wouldn't let them dictate all the holidays, but sometimes at the last minute my dh calls them and invites them over.

 

[Kenny1113]

In my family we buy gifts for the kids and do a secret Santa with the adults with a dollar amount limit. Takes a lot of the stress out of Gift giving.

 

[RedAngie]

You just described my MIL! Once I finally realized she either doesn't appreciate and/or hates every gift we give her, I stopped stressing over it because I know there's no pleasing her. My husband explained that it was mostly because the gifts we were giving her had a higher price tag than the ones she was giving us, and she prefers to be the one to give the "better" gift. Because that's what gift giving is all about - winning. (I'll never understand her insane reasoning skills.) As a result, I just started making donations to charities in her name. She hates those too, but at least I feel better knowing that someone will benefit from our gift.

Fine, let MIL "win." Get her a box of rocks or coal in her stocking.

 

[katie01]

I love shopping for kids, both mine and relatives' kids, I hate shopping for adults. I don't need or want anyone to buy me anything for Christmas, so I wish the adults we exchange with could all agree to not buy for each other and just donate more to charity (or keep their own money if they should so choose).

 

[Kitty 34]

In my family we buy gifts for the kids and do a secret Santa with the adults with a dollar amount limit. Takes a lot of the stress out of Gift giving.

That would be soooo much fun but unfortunately I have a sister and sister-in-law that are shopaholics who not only insist on buying for EVERYbody....they would buy for the wildlife around our area, too....squirrels, raccoons , deer, you name it!!!

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

It depends - on years when I'm not sure what to buy people I can get stressed or in the case of my teens - if they wait too long to tell me what they would like and I have to do more running around last minute to shop for them.

This year I'm ok - we've really narrowed down the gift recipients so it shouldn't be too bad. Plus we've already talked to the teens and let them know that we aren't getting tons and tons of gifts for them this year so make sure they star what they really, really want and that I need their lists by December 15th. We shall see how that goes.

I still don't know what to get my Dad - he's tough to buy for and my sister just told me she got him my go to gift (a gift certificate to the local home repair place that he likes) and I don't have a backup gift so maybe he'll get 2 of those this year. LOL

 

[andiraye]

My parents are the hardest to buy gifts for, too. They live in a small apartment, so I don't want to get them lots of big junk, and they have very specific hobbies, which I've already exhausted every type of gift for.

 

[pjlla]

My parents are the hardest to buy gifts for, too. They live in a small apartment, so I don't want to get them lots of big junk, and they have very specific hobbies, which I've already exhausted every type of gift for.

Concert tickets, movie tickets, "experience" tickets (whale watching, hot air balloon, etc), gc for airline tickets (SWA sells gift cards all over the place), special/exotic/expensive foods that they wouldn't normally splurge on (fancy meats or fruits or cheese).... none of that takes up any extra space! Good luck.........P

 

[powellrj]

I love to shop for gifts. I only shop on-line which has its good points and bad points. What I hate is evening things up. Does everyone have the same amount of gifts to open and did I spend the same.