Do you work out of neccesity or for fun?

[Todd&Copper]

This is not meant as a slam, but please do not equate "smart and capable" as a reason for not choosing to be a SAHM. I have a doctorate degree and was the consummate career woman. Luckily my husband and I were in the financial position to allow me to become a SAHM when we had our first child. I have never regretted the decision and have met many other SAHMs through school and community activities that were extremely accomplished before and after making the same choice I did.

Everyone needs to make the choice that is best for them, but being "smart and capable" does not exclude one from being a very happy and content SAHM.

Wel, please do not consider this a slam, but being a SAHM would not be a fun, fulfilling existence for me. I loathe the drudgery of housework and would rather work than stay at home and get fat and lazy. Because I would fall into a deep depression if stuck at home with rugrats and laundry and playdates. Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think.

 

[hentob]

How old are you? Are you from old money?

I would imagine she is a younger person who has not had a taste of Grown-Up Life yet

It seems by a past post, she is not working for fun, as she would have “just quit” and not went through this stress of a “fun job”::

http://www.disboards.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=27582455

Hello,

I do not usually vent on these boards, however I am upset and need to. I work and live in Houston. Becuase of hurricane Ike, my family and I decided to evcuate to Missouri (becuase it is a day's drive, we have family there and can stay for free). on thursday afternoon as I was leaving work I told 2 of my managers about the situation and asked them if this okay to leave and not be at work for maybe a week. Also the main reason we wanted to leave was because we knew we would be without electrticity my dad is a heart patient and cannot live without. I also told my 2 managers this information as well. They both said they understood, and that I would not be fired because of the sitatution. So friday morning my family and I headed out to Missouri. My managers also stated that as long as I kept them informed that everything would be alright.

This evening I called in to work to see if they were running operations and they said yes (they were closed yesterday) I let them know I was calling in and my manager said that my job must not be important to me, and that other people are coming into work, so he didn't understand why I wasn't coming in. he was not one of the original managers I spoke with, however I again told him the whole story of why I would not be there and again he said my job must not be important to me.

I would imagine that the OP is attempting to stir the pot.

 

[hentob]

Wel, please do not consider this a slam, but being a SAHM would not be a fun, fulfilling existence for me. I loathe the drudgery of housework and would rather work than stay at home and get fat and lazy. Because I would fall into a deep depression if stuck at home with rugrats and laundry and playdates. Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think.

I can tell you don’t have children yet

I can also tell you are a bit immature, as most adults know that staying home and raising children (“rugrats”) doesn’t automatically mean you get fat and depressed Just like not all lawyers are slimeball liars

As you mature and life takes you to these situations, you will grow mentally and spiritually.

I am so sorry that you have only come across fat, lazy and depressed SAHMs You need to start hanging out with some new people

A degree does not automatically make you an intelligent person

 

[ReneeA]

I can tell you don’t have children yet

I can also tell you are a bit immature, as most adults know that staying home and raising children (“rugrats”) doesn’t automatically mean you get fat and depressed

As you mature and life takes you to these situations, you will grow mentally and spiritually.

I am so sorry that you have only come across fat, lazy and depressed SAHMs You need to start hanging out with some new people

A degree does not automatically make you an intelligent person

Some people do not thrive as SAHM's. LOTS of women, as a matter of fact.

I as under the impression that SHE would get fat and depressed - not that ALL SAHM's do.

I struggled for a year with depression staying at home. I did not get a job, but instead started taking classes at night to get my buns out of the house. I felt so much better at that point. I can see that getting a job would have had a similar effect.

 

[momto2girls]

Wel, please do not consider this a slam, but being a SAHM would not be a fun, fulfilling existence for me. I loathe the drudgery of housework and would rather work than stay at home and get fat and lazy. Because I would fall into a deep depression if stuck at home with rugrats and laundry and playdates. Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think.

Oh, I think that the PPs understand that. Being a SAHM is not for everyone and I completely respect that. I think that the point is that there are some people who love being a SAHM and find fulfillment in it. Many of these people are very intelligent and well-educated. That is all that the PPs were saying.

I love being a SAHM. I have two bachelor degrees and a masters. I had a great career before I decided to be a SAHM, but I am so happy to not be working now! I hope that I never have to go back (although I certainly would if conditions warranted it). Fortunately, my husband is making a good living. Because of our tax rate, when I look at what I would clear if I went back to work... . It would be stupid of me to work for so little and to send that much money to the government when I don't need the income. Not to mention how I would deal with working FT and handling my children's activities, etc., especially since my husband travels a lot. It would be unnecessary chaos in our case.

 

[mumom95]

Wel, please do not consider this a slam, but being a SAHM would not be a fun, fulfilling existence for me. I loathe the drudgery of housework and would rather work than stay at home and get fat and lazy. Because I would fall into a deep depression if stuck at home with rugrats and laundry and playdates. Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think.

Well, it sounds like you couldn't do the job of a SAHM, and it's a good thing that you realize that and are making the right choice for you. But there are many women who are smart enough and capable of being a SAHM, and they realize that and make the right choice for their family.

It's nice that woman today have these choices.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Well...I work for two reasons: so we can maintain our lifestyle and because I do not like being at home all day. And, I do enjoy doing what I do - it's very rewarding.

It's not really necessity. I could quit working and we'd still be able to afford everything we need and some things we want, but not to the degree that we can now. I don't make all that much money, either, (I'm a para in an elementary school), but it's enough to keep us happy and afford most extras we want.

 

[hentob]

Some people do not thrive as SAHM's. LOTS of women, as a matter of fact.

I as under the impression that SHE would get fat and depressed - not that ALL SAHM's do.

See, I took her "Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think" as a complete dig. Nobody on this thread mentioned that.

She calls children "rugrats" and says that she is too smart to stay home/ be "stuck" at home.

Me thinks she is a pot stirrer too Hey, sometimes we have days when we wanna ruffle some feathers I love reading and responding to different points of view.

 

[Enchanted_Mama]

I work for many reasons, but the two biggest are that I couldn't imagine NOT working and also because my working affords us the lifestyle that I want for my family. I definitely define myself, in large part, by my career. I worked hard to earn my degrees and I really enjoy what I do. That said, it is also extremely important to me that my children have things (and by 'things', I mean a home in a nice n'hood with good schools, $ for extracurricular activities, etc) that we would not be able to afford on my DH's income alone. I work 35 hours a week, and in an ideal world, I would work one less day a week, because it is hard to keep on top of everything at home. I am lucky in that my DH works from home and generally calls it a day at 3pm so that the kids can get shuttled where they need to go and dinner can be ready for us when I get home at 5:30....

 

[hentob]

Well, it sounds like you couldn't do the job of a SAHM, and it's a good thing that you realize that and are making the right choice for you. But there are many women who are smart enough and capable of being a SAHM, and they realize that and make the right choice for their family.

It's nice that woman today have these choices.

Well said.

Not everyone can be a SAHM.

It is very good that she realizes that she is not capable of spending a large amount of time with her future children now before she has said children. Although, once you have a baby, most people do want to spend as much time as you possibly can with that baby I think it is hard to envision that when you don't have a child yet. You look at it as a chore when you are childless.

And HOORAY for choices

 

[Judy from Boise]

Except for about the first 5 years of our marriage, we could have always lived on my DH's salary. I was a SAHM for 3-4 years scattered through my DD's grade school years. But mostly I chose to work to pay fro lots of travel, private school, and a very comfortable lifestyle. It works well for my family. I am now planning on going part time when my DD gets out of College in 5-6 years.

 

[GeorgeG]

I'm basically retired and do not have to work, but I do "work" as a freelance musician and that is mostly for fun. It's great to have a hobbie that you get paid to do and the extra income isn't hard to take. The concert band, one of the swing bands, and an occasional pit band are the hobbie portion while everything else is paid pro gigs.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I have a Paralegal degree and a minor in Elementary education.

I am niether fat, lazy nor depressed.

I work for fun. I am a recess monitor at my twins school. Love it. Love being able to know every kid in town. Love going to the food store and being inundated by little people. Love being able to see who needs help, whether it be mittens or clothing or just a hug. and love being able to do so by putting mittens in pockets.
I also spend alot of what I make right back onto the kids I work with.
My husband always points out to me.. That because of our tax bracket what I make is taken off our taxes anyway. I won't tell him that I spend it back as well. I suspect he knows that as well.

While I have young children, I simply choose to be readily available to them. I am also grateful that my life and my husband has afforded me the luxury to be able to choose for myself.

 

[disneynutcase]

When I started doing day care in my home 22 years ago it was because I didn't want to go back to work and leave my son. I took a year off when I had DD. Then DH kept getting laid off in the machine shop that he worked in so it became a necessity. Now I have 2 children in college to it helps pay tuition and vacations. Besides I like working at home and love children.

 

[contemporarymom]

Wel, please do not consider this a slam, but being a SAHM would not be a fun, fulfilling existence for me. I loathe the drudgery of housework and would rather work than stay at home and get fat and lazy. Because I would fall into a deep depression if stuck at home with rugrats and laundry and playdates. Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think.

WOW! What a limited purview you have of the world. I’ll chalk it up to immaturity. I’m assuming since you have a law degree that you must at least be in your mid to late twenties? Give yourself a few years, have a couple of “rugrats” and see if your priorities don’t change.

I tutor at my children‘s school, volunteer, and I’m involved in many activities outside of the home that allow me to use my degree in ways I never could have imagined. I am far from being bored, fat or lazy. In fact, my schedule is fuller and more fulfilling now than when I worked full-time.

I’m not one of those SAHMs that think that it is the best or right decision for everyone. Everyone needs to do what is appropriate for themselves and their circumstances , but please do not belittle and throw out derogatory generalizations towards those of us who have made a choice that we are both happy and fulfilled by.

 

[cabanafrau]

Wel, please do not consider this a slam, but being a SAHM would not be a fun, fulfilling existence for me. I loathe the drudgery of housework and would rather work than stay at home and get fat and lazy. Because I would fall into a deep depression if stuck at home with rugrats and laundry and playdates. Sorry, but not everyone wants to be a SAHM, despite what the SAHMs think.

Wow, having been a working woman w/ no kids, SAHM and a working mother in my lifetime, admittedly sans law degree, I cannot believe you seriously expect ANY women of intelligence wouldn't find the entire premise of your argument offensive. I've always found it possible, whatever phase of life or career I'm in, to think independently for myself and certainly wouldn't presume to suggest others aren't capable of the same merely because of their occupational status -- which isn't necessarily a lifelong sentence, commitment or entitlement.

As for the OP's original question, I would classify myself as working out of necessity right now. Fortunately my income isn't necessary at this time to pay the bills, but we're working on putting away what we can since nobody knows what tomorrow is bringing right now.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I work out of necessity. If it was fun, it wouldn't be called work.

 

[LivelyLissa]

I work to pay the bills.

I also work because I would not be a good SAHM. When out on maternity leave I felt like my brain was leaking out of my ears most days. It's just not for me, I admire anyone who can do that all day.

That being said, if I hit the lottery, I'll quit that day. I'll just replace paid employment with volunteer work doing what I want rather than what pays well.

 

[Hollygoheavy]

I work for the extras-DH and I have different spending habits (he's cheap and I'm not). I worked full time as a single parent with crappy hours (night shift nurse) for 10 years, then stayed home for 10 years and just went back to work this past summer when my youngest DS began kindergarten. DH pays all the expenses and savings and when we travel or have things like holiday or birthday gifts, we split the expenses.

 

[FINFAN]

well, both. My necessity job is exactly that, for $. My fun job ( freelancing) is the one I like, but can't rely in to pay the bills...too sporadic. My $ job is dwindling tho, been averaging 12 hours a week...and not looking good for January so we are bracing ourselves. If not for college and our car payment, boy, I COULD do the freelance thing...darn real life expenses!