Do you think that not taking a vacation is cheating your kids???

[MrsPete]

Not flaming you, but if you could "afford it" you wouldn't be in debt. Our generation was brought up on credit cards and living beyond our means and it's a hard cycle to break! Kudos for realizing you need to make some changes!

Ditto. Our society has developed some very unhealthy attitudes about the acceptability of debt and about what we "deserve".

I'm with the majority here: Make memories with your kids. Spend plenty of time with them. Plan silly little parties just for your family. Take them to local parks, museums, historical sites, the library, etc. -- things that cost nothing or next to nothing.

And when you can really afford it, THEN take them on a "real vacation".

 

[mumom95]

I thought all American kids went to school 180 days a year, which leaves 185 days out of school. Different school systems may schedule it differently (spring break mid-way through the year vs. spring break scheduled at Easter), but I think they all have the same amount of time in the classroom.

Um, no. Some states are lengthening the school year every year. The governor of Ohio has the school year getting longer by a few days each year for the next few years (for example next year he is minimizing our snow days and the following year taking them away completely). And he's doing this because he says the neighboring states all have longer school years than we do and he wants to keep us competitive. Plus, each individual school district may schedule extra days in their year (they just can't go under the minimum) and I know a few districts around that do go 3 or 4 days longer than the state mandate.

So no, all schools do not go 180 days.

 

[mumom95]

Not flaming you, but if you could "afford it" you wouldn't be in debt..

I have to disagree with this. If it were the case, then you would be saying that anyone in this country who has a mortgage can't afford to live. Mortgage is a form of debt.

There are plenty of people out their who have loans that easily have the money in investments to pay off the loan if they needed to. But why in the world would I want to cash in an investment, deal with the tax implications that come along with that, when I can get a 0% interest car loan. Makes absolutely no financial sense to me.

I realize the OP may not be in this situation, but to make such a general statement about debt is really kind of silly.

 

[Planogirl]

OP, I think that you should do what you think is right. Your kids will be fine either way.

You COULD take them somewhere nearby for a long weekend or take them to visit family and make it an adventure. You don't have to go all out.

 

[christa112]

Our 1st family vacation wasn't until my oldest son was 6 years old. We have since taken several family vacations since then. It is a definate personal opinion and I think kids will be just fine without going on vacation.

 

[crisi]

No, I don't think not taking vacations is cheating your kids. Like others, some of our best memories are at home. Vacations are nice, but they are honestly more about ME than the kids.

What is cheating your kids is not making time for them. Not being able to provide as stable a home life as possible - even that isn't always possible.

Its my opinion, not shared and note the use of the word I, but that I would cheat my kids if I did not pay for their (reasonable, public) college education, but spent that money instead on vacations. In the long term, getting out of college without debt is going to be of far more value to them than having gone to Disney or Mexico. Its cheating my kids to take them on vacation, then expect them to support me in my old age because I didn't save adequately for retirement.

 

[PA Princess]

We did a long (4 years), intense get out of debt period several years ago (we now only have a mortgage). We did continue to travel with our kids...camping, cheap, cheap getaways, grandparent sponsored trips, visits to relatives, etc. It was a fine balance, but traveling for us is important and not something we were willing to forgo completely.

I think this is a question you will have to figure out the balance on for your family. I understand having a dh who needs to be away to really, really connect with the family. My dh is a worker bee and even on days off from work he has a hard time not working at a task and spending time with the family. He has gotten better over the years, but it does not come naturally for him.

 

[jodifla]

We did a long (4 years), intense get out of debt period several years ago (we now only have a mortgage). We did continue to travel with our kids...camping, cheap, cheap getaways, grandparent sponsored trips, visits to relatives, etc. It was a fine balance, but traveling for us is important and not something we were willing to forgo completely.

I think this is a question you will have to figure out the balance on for your family. I understand having a dh who needs to be away to really, really connect with the family. My dh is a worker bee and even on days off from work he has a hard time not working at a task and spending time with the family. He has gotten better over the years, but it does not come naturally for him.

Great post. Budget boarders can't believe it, but people went on vacation even during the Great Depression. Now the scope of the vacations was different. My dad clearly recalls being about six and driving to Illinios to stay with distant family so they could go to the World's Fair. They were scraping by as Midwestern farmers, but they still did plenty of vacationing. They regularly went up north and rented a cabin and spent summer weekends fishing....I have the pictures to prove it.


For our family, there's a real difference in getting away from the house, where you can't slip into cleaning or working on the garage or anything else but being with your family.

For our Spring Break, instead of a weeklong trip, we're going away overnight to Great Wolf Lodge. So we'll have a minibreak that's a fraction of what we'd normally spend. But it will just be the 3 of us, away from school and work and any dishes, laundry or household projects.

 

[avahoneybee]

I'm going to offer a different perspective here.

I was fortunate enough to travel a lot as a child all the way through adulthood. DH never travelled out of 2 states. The first time he went on a plane was with me to the Caribbean. Since then, we've been many places and have enjoyed and appreciated the ability to be financially able to make such great trips. That said, when we plan on vacations with our kids, *I* find it difficult to choose a place where I've never been before because I have been to most places. I think parents have this need to want to expose their kids to what they weren't exposed to as kids and they feel that giving them these fancy vacations are going to make their kids happy, when it's really for the parents. I know it's hard to admit it to yourself, but 4 and 5 year olds really don't care about the hotels they stay at. It's just like Christmas morning when the baby plays with the boxes instead of the toys.

I have great memories of the vacations with my parents but it was because my dad was always working and the only quality time we got as kids was during vacation. DH also has great memories as a kid and he rarely went anywhere. He remembers playing flashlight tag, riding his bike, and swimming at midnight. Those were all great memories for him and he wants to do the same for our kids.

You don't need expensive vacations to make great memories. You can make memories cooking breakfast or taking a nature walk. It's all about spending quality time as a family.

 

[wdwfan16]

Wow, your kids get a lot of time off school. We dont get that much off. We get the three days off for thanksgiving, 1 1/2 weeks for christmas/new years, a week for spring break, three day weekend for memorial day, and thats about all we get. NO half days or anything like that.

And I dont feel its Ridiculous to want to take my kids somewhere for a vacation. And I would appreciate if people would not flame. Its not a matter of spoiling my kids, I just happen to be one of those parents who had to stay home when i was little cause we couldnt afford to go on vacation. Its not that we cant afford it, its that if we put that money toward something else we can get it paid faster. I want out of debt. its that simple.

There is your answer. Plan a WDW vacation for 2-3 years from now and get out of that debt.

 

[lspst8]

I've read all the responses here, and they are really interesting. Growing up, my family didn't go on a trip every year, and een then some of them were smaller long weekend trips to Hershey, Gettysburg, and Niagra Falls. We did go to WDW twice while I was in elementary school. We did one trip to Virginia Beach with extended family for a week. I do not feel deprived at all, even though most of our trips weren't that expensive.

I will add that my parents typically went on a nice vacation without us kids almost every year thru my dad's work. The were true vacations too -- he'd have to take clients to dinner, but no meetings and seminars during the day. They've been all over with these trips -- Hawaii, San Diego, multiple cruises, Sedona, Indy 500, etc. I do NOT feel like I was cheated because my parents went on vacation and left me at home. They'd rbing us back small souveniers and all the little hotel soaps and sewing kits! (I still love little hotel soaps and lotions.)

My mom's family lives about 2 hours from us, so when were were little my grandpa would rent a hotel room in between us and we would meet up with my gandparents and some cousins. It was so much fun just to use the hotel pool and run around the hotel. I know my mom didn't consider in a "vacation" but it sure was to my sister and me.

 

[tinkarooni]

Hey OP, my family has made this exact decision this year. We went to Disney in Sept 2009 and are skipping this entire year of vacation. We have a goal in this case we are building a barn on our property and want to pay for it in cash this year and this was a good way to help finance it.

We planned ahead for our year at home, grandparents got us season passes to a local water park which we will go to often, packing a picnic lunch. We will probably go visit my brother who lives close to the Jersey shore for a long weekend and DH and I both intend to take full weeks off of work even though we aren't going "on vacation" and will do day trips to Amish country, maybe even staying overnight as a last minute surprise.

These things have my two kids 11 and 9 so excited for the summer that they won't even miss a big blow out trip. For us it really is about seeing something new or doing something different together....not about how much $$ we spend. Heck my DD9 gets a thrill when we camp out on the living room floor watch movies and eat popcorn "in bed". It doesn't take much but a little time and attention for these kids. Good Luck whatever you decide to do.

 

[wdwfan16]

I have to disagree with this. If it were the case, then you would be saying that anyone in this country who has a mortgage can't afford to live. Mortgage is a form of debt.

There are plenty of people out their who have loans that easily have the money in investments to pay off the loan if they needed to. But why in the world would I want to cash in an investment, deal with the tax implications that come along with that, when I can get a 0% interest car loan. Makes absolutely no financial sense to me.

I realize the OP may not be in this situation, but to make such a general statement about debt is really kind of silly.

It depends on the type of debt and the % of the money available that servicing that debt entails.

The OP just paid off CC debt, that it good. They also have a personal loan and a car payment plus the mortgage. That was too much debt and the OP should get it under control before the next vacation.

 

[DisneysRedhead]

How about a 3 day trip to Williamsburg, Va? You can easily do Busch Gardens one day, Water Country 1 day, and maybe Colonial Williamsburg the last day. You could drive, and Williamsburg is chock full of hotels.

I second going to Colonial Williamsburg! When we were kids my parents would take us there and honestly I had a blast! I remember these trips so vividly, even the ones we took when I was really little. In fact, my husband and I have talked about going down for a weekend just to experience it again as adults since it has been awhile.

 

[Misty89]

I wanted to join the other posters, and say that your kids will be fine without vacations -
Growing up, my family went on one summer vacation. it was a family cabin that family members took turn using.(it was free for us to use as long as no one else was using it that week) it was a blast - that was "vacation" to me. - a week in the woods up north.
when i met my husband, -he took me on my first non- woods vacation, to Wisconsin dells.( 2 hours from home) that is where we have vacationed for the past fourteen years. (4 nights each summer)
we have 2 children - our first ever airplane ride was in 2003, the girls were 10 & 2, I was 27 LOL
DH traveled alot more with his family as a child- but only about every five years- money was just to tight. my DH hates vacation, so he does not care if it is 20 years between them.(he hates all vacations - not just WDW, he likes the dells however, so that we do every year)

So, anyways the point to my rambling is, your kids will be just fine. my girls have only been on two " real vacations" - where we went on a plane, etc. and they are not deprived in anyway - they are 18 & 10.
our next WDW trip will be most likey in another 4 years, ( last trip was Feb 09') and it will most likely be a 2 person trip DD will be 21 by then and won't want to travel with mom and little sis, and DH said he will not go back to WDW again. so i guess it will be a cheaper trip, but still alot of money.

 

[YoMickey]

Your gut is telling you something, listen to it. Sounds like you've been listening to Dave Ramsey. Great guy. Good ideas. Debt is bad, get out of it as soon as you can.

1)Fully Fund your retirement or else your kids will be burdened with supporting you.

2) Fund their college education, so if they do have to take care of you they have the means to do it.

3) Set up an account or a jar and start saving for your next Disney trip, have the kids chip in a little here and there so they know how much it costs. Set a date like April 2012 and work towards it. This way, you guarantee they'll take care of you because of all the fond Disney memories.

4) Pay them an allowance so they learn the value of money.

Not that you're doing this but on the other threads for DVC it always amazes me the people that are underwater on their homes and owe money on 2 cars are trying to decide if 11% is a good interest rate for a loan on their Disney vacation club points. It's hard not to flame them.

You deserve no flaming in your desire to treat your kids to an annual trip. It's commendable. You're doing the right thing. Just live within your means.

 

[EarthSong]

Hunny I understand how you are feeling. A vacation is nice no doubt about that but its also exspensive ESPECIALLY Disney . Maybe you could stay at a value?? or just put the trip off until you are out of debt and can pay for it. Get a coin jar . Open up a saving account and put whatever little money you can in it and let your kids see the money building up. In the meantime just use like 3-400 dollars on mini vacations. That is exactly what I plan to do.I cant afford to do Disney EVERY year especially considering plane costs,food,souvies etc so Disney will have to wait atleast 2 years. I live near Coney Island but the hotels isnt even near there nor do they have pools so that's out.The jersey shore is MUCH better.

I can easily pay under 100 dollars for transportation . The hotels are $59 during weekdays .Food is reasonable /bufets arent as costly as Disney. They have a beach and a huge amusement park ....The whole trip can be done under $ 600 and that's for 5 nights! So until I have enough for Disney....mini vacays it is ! Meanwhile I can save money for the kiddos future AND save for Disney .

 

[daleswife]

I have to disagree with this. If it were the case, then you would be saying that anyone in this country who has a mortgage can't afford to live. Mortgage is a form of debt.

There are plenty of people out their who have loans that easily have the money in investments to pay off the loan if they needed to. But why in the world would I want to cash in an investment, deal with the tax implications that come along with that, when I can get a 0% interest car loan. Makes absolutely no financial sense to me.

I realize the OP may not be in this situation, but to make such a general statement about debt is really kind of silly.

I was thinking the exact same thing. I understand I have a vehicle and personal loan on top of my mortgage, but honestly, how many people out there in the world dont have a vehicle loan? At least I only have ONE!!! and the personal loan was something my husband done and since we are in this together, we have to pay it off together.

Your gut is telling you something, listen to it. Sounds like you've been listening to Dave Ramsey. Great guy. Good ideas. Debt is bad, get out of it as soon as you can.

1)Fully Fund your retirement or else your kids will be burdened with supporting you.

2) Fund their college education, so if they do have to take care of you they have the means to do it.

3) Set up an account or a jar and start saving for your next Disney trip, have the kids chip in a little here and there so they know how much it costs. Set a date like April 2012 and work towards it. This way, you guarantee they'll take care of you because of all the fond Disney memories.

4) Pay them an allowance so they learn the value of money.

Not that you're doing this but on the other threads for DVC it always amazes me the people that are underwater on their homes and owe money on 2 cars are trying to decide if 11% is a good interest rate for a loan on their Disney vacation club points. It's hard not to flame them.

You deserve no flaming in your desire to treat your kids to an annual trip. It's commendable. You're doing the right thing. Just live within your means.

Thanks!!!

 

[avahoneybee]

I know many people who don't finance vehicles, but just because you have to (or want to) take a loan doesn't mean you don't deserve a vacation. If that were the case, Disney would be bankrupt. I don't know the facts, but I bet more people finance their cars than don't.

 

[YoMickey]

Yikes.

I think you missed my point. Being underwater on a house and owing money on two vehicles is probably more common than most of us can even fathom. It's the part where people are considering yet another monthly commitment, on top of that, not to mention the annual dues associated with maintaining and actually using a timeshare.

I was trying to show an example of someone who does not understand what a reasonable amount of debt is.

I fully understand loans are necessary. So are vacations. So is sometimes telling people what they don't want to hear.

Wasn't flaming OP, wasn't flaming debt, just people who spend and borrow more than they can pay.

IT WAS A GENERAL COMMENT about bad financial moves.