We plan which day we will hit each park, and ADRs. That's it. For us (not saying anything against commando-style touring), we are asking for stress and agitation if we try to map each park out, ride by ride.
That's what I do. If you have ADR's, you kind of have to plan that much. Otehrwise, we are happy to simply hop on the first bus that arrives.
Beyond that, we could never be happy mapping out a specific ride order, nor woud I want to. Too many times when we arrive a ride is down or something unexpected happens that would throw our plans out the window.
What I do suggest though is using some kind of strategy so that you don't waste time. You know your family best. some families want to be part of the decision process, other family members need direction and leadership.
What you will want to do - by the time you more or less enter each park is decide on an e-ride to hit. Ride one e-ride, then get a fp for a second- or reverse that, get a fp, then ride an e-ride while the lines are short. Do use fastpass. once you get the major rides taken care of, you can spend the peak crowd hours doing the uncrowded rides.(and using fastpasses as you get them)
We never really do parades, but I do note the fireoworks times. Epcot is always 9pm, HS is more or less at park closing, AK had none. It's really just MK that you actually have to pay attention. Sometimes we happen to see the evening light parade at MK - that's the best of all of them. But we're happy being three rows back, so we don't waste time staking out a parade spot. If front row viewing is your thying, then that would be another aspect to consider.
We only do one ADR per day. Our QS meals are never planned- except again - if you can avoid the crowds, so much the better. Avoid eating lunch between noon and 1pm. Either arrive by 11:45, or snack until after 1pm.
E-rides at MK are the 3 mountains, Peter Pan- and the new rides as they open
At Epcot there Soarin' and TT (but that's closed now)
At HS there's TSM, RnRC, and maybe ToT (not quite as crowded as the other two)
At AK, there's EE and the safari...also if you want to see FotLK or the Nemo show you have to kind of plan to see those. If the park is crowded, then sometimes you have be
in line for them an hour before the show starts! I would advise that you allow at least 45min on any day.
It also pays to think a tad about which atractions might be priorites, and when is the best time to see them. I don't make any hard plans, but I also rarely get in any line that's over 20minutes long. For example, 'kiddie' rides have long lines during 'kiddie' hours- late at night - the lines are short. But if you can only stay for kiddie hours, then maybe that's a consideration for you. Also, 'everyone' wants to do the wet rides in the late afternoon, in the heat of day. After folks get wet, they go back to their room to change for dinner. So aim to either ride at another time of day, or make sure you have a fastpass. Mornings the lines are short.
Another tool which makes lack of planning easier is using the single rider line. You will not sit with your family- you will be split up, and kids under 7 can't use it- BUT - the SR line is often quite a bit shorter than standby.
Last, we usually decide while we are in line for one attraction where we are going to go after that attraction - or at least which direction we're going to go. That way we aren't standing around arguing. We tell each other in advance if someone wants a break or food or something.